Tumgik
About
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Visit Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Fun Fact
The total number of visits Tumblr.com received during January 2021 is 327 million.
#lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life
opens-up-4-nobody
·
3 months
Text
...
#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again
#it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof
#is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head
#my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the
#middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up
#like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles.
#the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable
#bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to
#ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on
#lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life
#anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been
#like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i
#might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it
#i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt
#the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective
#but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch.
#itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work
#but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops
#not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy
#ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day
#ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time
#ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea
#of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i
#get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism
#ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes
#unrelated
3 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
leelasri
Mahilalu
landscapemania96-blog
LandscapeMania
bluehairedshortie-blog
The Avid Reader
sadxia-blog
Sad_Xia_
genzculture
let’s get this bread