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feralhogs · 4 years

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1-100 TELL ME ALL

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name?

Jesse

2. How old are you?

3. When is your birthday?

dec 9

4. What is your zodiac sign?

sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

purples

6. What’s your lucky number?

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia

9. How tall are you?

5 something

10. What shoe size are you?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3 that i actually use

12. What was your last dream about?

i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post

13. What talents do you have?

i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline

14. Are you psychic in any way?

well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there

15. Favorite song?

for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I took all the colours

16. Favorite movie?

spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much

18. Do you want children?

not RIGHT NOW

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.

20. Are you religious?

yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

i got a parking ticket

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them

24. Baths or showers?

showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

alien socks that are green and black

26. Have you ever been famous?

no. what does that even mean !!!!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them

28. What type of music do you like?

stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin

32. How big is your house?

BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

HELL no.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.

36. Favorite clean word?

i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.

37. Favorite swear word?

bitch. its really fun to say.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.

39. Do you have any scars?

yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

i believe so...

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents

44. Do you have a strong accent?

i dont know how to answer this

45. What is your favorite accent?

idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them

46. What is your personality type?

that.... INFJ. see. psychic

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

one of the gay jackets

48. Can you curl your tongue?

dont think so

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

left

51. Are you scared of spiders?

depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free

52. Favorite food?

tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish

53. Favorite foreign food?

idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

clean

55. Most used phrased?

“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot

56. Most used word?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i do, but i hide it.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work

61. Do you sing to yourself?

nah

62. Are you a good singer?

no. i can sing and it sound okay. nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.

63. Biggest Fear?

someone dying, natural disaster, new illness

64. Are you a gossip?

maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those

66. Do you like long or short hair?

BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.

68. Favorite school subject?

ART ART AR T

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introerverte

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

71. What makes you nervous?

people who are not Definitely Cheerful

72. Are you scared of the dark?

no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL

74. Are you ticklish?

depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok......

77. Have you ever drank underage?

78. Have you ever done drugs?

79. Who was your first real crush?

someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE

80. How many piercings do you have?

two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

hell yes

82. How fast can you type?

so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast

83. How fast can you run?

IM VERY FAST

84. What color is your hair?

orange

85. What color is your eyes?

green

86. What are you allergic to?

im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives

87. Do you keep a journal?

yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures

88. What do your parents do?

my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky

89. Do you like your age?

sure

90. What makes you angry?

everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger.

91. Do you like your own name?

YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

yeah, i want a boy a girl

94. What are you strengths?

my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles

95. What are your weaknesses?

the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea

96. How did you get your name?

i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school

98. Do you have any scars?

weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon

99. Color of your bedspread?

pink, white, blue

100. Color of your room?

white

#chatty tag #WHEW

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shanie-the-toyaddict · 5 years

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Ok, so I’m like, two days late with this...

This past Thursday, I had a doctors appointment. I had to fill out some paperwork, and when I wrote the date (5/23/19) I did a FULL STOP and just went “...OH”

Now, to explain. There are certain dates that affect me. January 15th is obviously one based on my love of Shane.

May 23rd is another for a WHOLE OTHER REASON.

For anyone who doesn’t realize what I’m getting at, this past Thursday was 20 years to the day since Owen Hart fell to his death at Kemper Arena at the Over The Edge PPV.

It was a night I can never, and will never forget.

Being a minor at the time (I was I think 15), I had ZERO say over wanting to watch a PPV, let alone a WWF (Again, yes F) PPV. HOWEVER, there was a technique back in the day, where if you turned your TV to channel 1, you would get to LISTEN to the PPV while the video feed was scrambled.

So naturally, this is how I watched ALL PPVs from October ‘98 until about September 2001. Basically, until I got to college and could visit a Sports Bar and watch it properly.

So, anyway, there I was, sitting in the basement, TV on (quietly) doing my homework. When IT happened. At first I didn’t realize what was going on. But as it dawned on me, I got really upset. I turned up the TV to better hear JR and Lawler. Of Course, this brought down my Mother who demanded I turn the TV off and focus on my homework. I refused shouting “You don’t understand, I THINK SOMEONE JUST DIED!” My mom, not believing me, rolled her eyes and took the remote from me and clicked off the TV. She then proceeded to sit with me for the rest of the night and made sure I didn’t turn the TV back on. I never got to hear the end of the PPV and I never heard the official announcement of Owen’s death.

Fast Forward to the next morning. My mom, at 6am, rouses me to go to school by saying “Hun, get up. Wake up. Remember how you said someone died on WWF last night? You were right. I’m so sorry.”

I SHOT out of bed like a rocket and IMMEDIATELY called my Boyfriend’s house... at 6:15 am. I get his mother. “Hello??? YESS???? Who is there???” “Um yes, It’s Missy. Can you put Josh on the phone, it’s an emergency”

I had to be the one to tell him. He was a bigger wrestling fan than I was and I had to tell him. It wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen to me all day though.

That came once I got to school. I arrived at school, and met up with my best friend at the time, Aurora. She was all excited and the first thing she asked me was “So... did Owen win the belt last night? Tell me, I need to know!” Y’all don’t understand. Owen Hart was her HERO. He wasn’t just her favorite superstar. Owen was to her what Shane was to me: Her reason to wake up in the morning and function. She had actually gotten to meet him years earlier and it was the “Best day of my life” she always told me.

Do you have any IDEA... and NOTION what it is like to tell a teenage girl that their hero just died? To tell ANYONE that? To just hear the words leave your mouth and just watch someone’s entire WORLD CAVE IN.

She just started SOBBING and fell to the ground because her legs refused to hold her any longer. And she lay there, on the floor of the upper commons, for a good seven or eight minutes after the bell to go to homeroom rang. She simply could not process anything. I eventually had to basically pick her up physically and guide her to her locker and homeroom because she couldn’t stop crying.

Mind you, I was bullied almost non-stop from kindergarten until 11th grade. I spent a whole year of high school as a suicidal mess. I was humiliated by my “Friends” during school events several times that still haunt me.

This... this was the worst day of my entire childhood.

I really don’t want to remember much more than that. I watched RAW is OWEN that night and cried the entire time. Watching the superstars who I had so recently become vested in cry, WATCHING SHANE CRY, it only served to further cement Monday, May 24th, 1999 as one of the worst days of my entire life.

I read an article tonight about how the event not only caused an ever further rift between the Harts and the McMahons, but also caused an internal fracturing of the Hart family. I don’t know enough about that to comment nor do I really want to. But I do know this. Bret makes a good point. By preventing the current WWE from airing/honoring/acknowledging anything about Owen, all that has happened is an entire generation has gone by and knows nothing of his legacy. While it may be for different reasons, he has been erased just as much as other superstars and alumni that have been blacklisted. I’m not naming names, but there are many people in the current HOF who don’t deserve it NEARLY as much as Owen does. But we all know he will never be allowed it and it SUCKS.

This has gone on way too long, but I felt the need to put this on here. I don’t know how many people will actually read this, and it’s almost more of a journal entry than anything. But to me, May 23rd is one of those days which I can’t help but notice as it comes and goes every year. Being the 20th anniversary just meant that I had to say something this time is all.

PS. Aurora was not the only best friend I ever had who went through this. My current BFF, on tumblr as @aquilalorelei, had to experience the death of Kevin Tod Smith (AKA Ares, from Xena). By being her friend all these years (I luckily didn’t befriend her until AFTER his death) I have seen proof that this kind of pain doesn’t go away. It lingers and eats at you. You might not have been a part of that person’s life IRL, but they were very much a part of yours. At least when an actual IRL loved one dies, you have memories with them to hold on to. Very few people ever get to experience meeting their heroes. Those that never do will never have that first-hand experience to remember. So do I think losing an idol is worse than losing a true love or family member? No, not worse. More like ‘equally painful in a different way’. In conclusion, I have posted twice tonight about the parallel worlds notion. Somewhere, in the multiverse, we can take solace in the fact that there is an alive and well Owen Hart who got to retire, and how resides in that world’s Hall Of Fame. We may not be lucky enough to ever experience that world. But the thought that it exists does cheer me up slightly.

RIP Owen. We still haven’t forgotten you.

#Owen Hart #WWE #Long Post #Memorial #Personal

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orbemnews · 3 years

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'We picked up a scent down there': Search for missing 11-year-old continues into day five On Friday, the search for 11-year-old Ryan Larsen entered its fifth day.The Nebraska State Patrol issued an Endangered Missing Advisory for the La Vista boy after he walked out of La Vista West Elementary on Monday around noon.Authorities say Larsen has autism. He’s described as being 5 feet, 8 inches tall, around 125 pounds, with brown hair and hazel eyes. Ryan was last seen wearing a black jacket, blue jeans, an Old Navy shirt and had a polka-dotted umbrella.If you have any information on his location, call 911.Latest DevelopmentsFriday evening:Numerous law enforcement agencies are continuing to search for Ryan Larsen, who has not been seen since Monday, May 17.According to a news release La Vista police, teams from the following joined the search for Ryan at Walnut Creek Recreation Area: Sarpy County Search & RescueNebraska State PatrolOmaha Fire & RescueYutanDes MoinesThe above agencies have stepped in to offer divers, boats, high-tech equipment and tracking K9s, according to the news release.A police K9 picked up a scent at Walnut Creek Recreation Area, but it is too early to determine if the scent is animal, human, or something else.According to police, crews began searching at Walnut Creek Recreation Area because Ryan and his family visited it. Police said Ryan previously wandered off while visiting the recreation area.Crews will be searching both land and water at Walnut Creek Recreation Area until they either find him at the recreation area or officials can rule out that he is there, police said. Officials are asking that the public find an alternate path or recreation area to use as crews continue to search the area. La Vista police uses the See It, Say, It, Send It app to gather tips. For information about the app, go to https://www.seeandsend.info.(Friday afternoon)At 3 p.m., La Vista police reiterated that the search continues to be focused on the Walnut Creek area. They said this is because it’s an area Larsen has run to before. An Omaha dive team is searching the water. They are using sonar technology to search the water as well. La Vista Police Chief Bob Lausten said there is no information to indicate there is anyone in the water, officials are just checking all the boxes.Matt Sutter, with Nebraska State Patrol, warned that the Endangered Missing Advisory for Larsen will be expiring soon, but that is only because these must expire after 72 hours. La Vista police said this does not mean search efforts will diminish. Lausten said that La Vista police have a relationship with Larsen. He said multiple officers knew him personally. “Ryan had brought us Christmas gifts at Christmas so there’s a relationship that we have, you know with him specifically, and it cuts, it cuts deep,” he said. He said there will be a focus on mental health for the officers.”These guys or gals are working their tails off on this. Sleep? What is sleep? They don’t even care about sleep, they’re there, they’re running, they’re doing everything that they need to do,” he said. Lausten said he is worried that Larsen has become stuck somewhere where he was hiding. He said that officials will notify the public as soon as possible if Ryan is found. FULL PRESS CONFERENCE BELOW:(Friday morning)There were no new sightings on Larsen as of Friday morning. Authorities were guarding the entrance to Walnut Creek Recreation Area. Lausten told KETV that the area is “one of the best leads they have” in the search for Larsen. “We know there have been cases, our FBI partners have told us, they’ve had missing kids with autism that have been out for seven days and they’ve been found alive and everything has been okay,” Lausten said. Lausten said the search stretching into next week is a real possibility. La Vista police said they do not need any more volunteers, but asked that people consider donating to the Salvation Army or the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.(Thursday evening)Officers went door to door to hand out flyers as the search continues for a fourth night. Law enforcement leaders say this is not the first time Ryan has wandered off, but they say he’s never been gone this long.Thursday evening, a police officer who said he has known Ryan for two years spoke with KETV NewsWatch 7’s Abbie Petersen.According to officer Stuart Nadgwick, Ryan had a lifesaver bracelet to track him up until February.Nadgwick fights back tears as he talks about Ryan.”Ryan is a good kid. He has gotten to know a lot of officers from our department. At Christmastime he will make ornaments for the department and then bring them to the department. He has a big heart,” Nadgwick said.Nadgwick met Ryan when the child became a member of Project Lifesaver, a program designed for those who have a risk of wandering.According to Nadgwick, over the course of those two years, Ryan wandered multiple times.”A majority of the times that Ryan had wandered, he was located in a relatively short distance where he had wandered from,” Nadgwick explained.He added that Ryan has multiple triggers that make him wander.This has happened from his apartment, a park and even school before. He likes to hide behind things, like trees, but when approached, made himself available.Now having him gone this long is heartbreaking for everyone.”Over the course of those two years, you get a friend with him. We’re talking about a 11-year-old boy who has challenges brought on by disabilities,” Nadgwick added.The good that Nadgwick has seen in Ryan outweighs any negative situations he’s been in with Larsen.”He is a good kid. He is a good kid and I know there are a lot of people worrying for him right now and if he has the ability, then it’s time to come home,” Nadgwick said.He also said that at this point, Ryan has to be cold, wet and hungry. Police want to get him home safely. Anyone who sees Ryan is urged to call 911.(Wednesday evening)As of Wednesday night, the FBI and representatives from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children were also at the scene to help with the search.”We’re pulling in all the resources that we can,” Lausten said. “They’ve had cases before even with kids with autism have left and they’ve been found. … With the experts that we have, we have a pretty good idea of what we’re doing here and what we need to do.”The City of La Vista announced Wednesday afternoon they did not need any more volunteers. They said there had been no sightings and asked the entire Omaha metro to be on the lookout for Larsen.Larsen had searched ‘how to hide from police’La Vista Police Capt. Jeremy Kinsey said detectives are working with the family and searched their computer. Kinsey said they found searches Larsen made regarding, “hiding from the police,” “hiding underground” and “how to avoid being spotted.”Kinsey said Larsen is very “high functioning,” has a history of running away and history of hiding.”He likes to hide in the weirdest spots,” he said. “He could very well be watching us right now, laughing at us.”He said Larsen has a history of not liking to be spoken to, especially by strangers. Kinsey said there is no reason to believe Larsen has been abducted or that anything suspicious is going on.”He’s playing the ultimate game of hide and seek on us now and he’s winning,” he said.Kinsey asked that people be kind on social media and not bombard officers with speculation.“I promise you we’ve thought of checking trash cans and parked cars,” he said.”There’s no playbook for an 11-year-old autistic that likes to hide and runs away,” said La Vista Police Chief Bob Lausten.How Larsen walked away from schoolAnnette Eyman with Papillion La Vista Schools says he was transitioning from one room to another classroom and a teacher noticed within about 5 minutes he was gone.There are no surveillance cameras on any of the elementary schools in the Papillion – La Vista School District, so checking cameras was not an option, she said. They believe he walked out of one of the school doors.”They immediately began to search the building to see where he was and then notified Ryan’s mom and the police immediately,” Eyman said. “I cant think of anything more heartbreaking as a parent or a staff member than having to look for a child.”Other informationLast sighting: Officials said Larsen walked out of school around noon Monday. A nearby business provided police with surveillance video that showed him in the area around 2 p.m. There have been no other credible sightings of the boy since.Manhole search: Around noon Tuesday, crews were zeroed in on a manhole where they had heard noises, but officials said Larsen was not inside.Info for volunteers: Officials said volunteers should search ditches and tall grass, believing he is likely tired and wanting to lay down. Officials stated that volunteers should not approach Larsen if they see him, instead they should call 911 and follow him at a safe distance. La Vista Police Capt. Jeremy Kinsey urged volunteers not to go on anyone’s private property for their own safety.”I don’t want you to be bitten by anyone’s dog, or have some knucklehead with a gun come out threatening you,” he said.He also asked people to continue to obey traffic laws. LA VISTA, Neb. — On Friday, the search for 11-year-old Ryan Larsen entered its fifth day. The Nebraska State Patrol issued an Endangered Missing Advisory for the La Vista boy after he walked out of La Vista West Elementary on Monday around noon. Authorities say Larsen has autism. He’s described as being 5 feet, 8 inches tall, around 125 pounds, with brown hair and hazel eyes. Ryan was last seen wearing a black jacket, blue jeans, an Old Navy shirt and had a polka-dotted umbrella. If you have any information on his location, call 911. Latest Developments Friday evening: Numerous law enforcement agencies are continuing to search for Ryan Larsen, who has not been seen since Monday, May 17. According to a news release La Vista police, teams from the following joined the search for Ryan at Walnut Creek Recreation Area: Sarpy County Search & Rescue Nebraska State Patrol Omaha Fire & Rescue Yutan Des Moines The above agencies have stepped in to offer divers, boats, high-tech equipment and tracking K9s, according to the news release. A police K9 picked up a scent at Walnut Creek Recreation Area, but it is too early to determine if the scent is animal, human, or something else. According to police, crews began searching at Walnut Creek Recreation Area because Ryan and his family visited it. Police said Ryan previously wandered off while visiting the recreation area. Crews will be searching both land and water at Walnut Creek Recreation Area until they either find him at the recreation area or officials can rule out that he is there, police said. Officials are asking that the public find an alternate path or recreation area to use as crews continue to search the area. La Vista police uses the See It, Say, It, Send It app to gather tips. For information about the app, go to https://www.seeandsend.info. (Friday afternoon) At 3 p.m., La Vista police reiterated that the search continues to be focused on the Walnut Creek area. They said this is because it’s an area Larsen has run to before. An Omaha dive team is searching the water. They are using sonar technology to search the water as well. La Vista Police Chief Bob Lausten said there is no information to indicate there is anyone in the water, officials are just checking all the boxes. Matt Sutter, with Nebraska State Patrol, warned that the Endangered Missing Advisory for Larsen will be expiring soon, but that is only because these must expire after 72 hours. La Vista police said this does not mean search efforts will diminish. Lausten said that La Vista police have a relationship with Larsen. He said multiple officers knew him personally. “Ryan had brought us Christmas gifts at Christmas so there’s a relationship that we have, you know with him specifically, and it cuts, it cuts deep,” he said. He said there will be a focus on mental health for the officers. “These guys or gals are working their tails off on this. Sleep? What is sleep? They don’t even care about sleep, they’re there, they’re running, they’re doing everything that they need to do,” he said. Lausten said he is worried that Larsen has become stuck somewhere where he was hiding. He said that officials will notify the public as soon as possible if Ryan is found. FULL PRESS CONFERENCE BELOW: (Friday morning) There were no new sightings on Larsen as of Friday morning. Authorities were guarding the entrance to Walnut Creek Recreation Area. Lausten told KETV that the area is “one of the best leads they have” in the search for Larsen. “We know there have been cases, our FBI partners have told us, they’ve had missing kids with autism that have been out for seven days and they’ve been found alive and everything has been okay,” Lausten said. Lausten said the search stretching into next week is a real possibility. La Vista police said they do not need any more volunteers, but asked that people consider donating to the Salvation Army or the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. (2 of 3) Consider a donation to the @salarmyomaha which continues to support our officers with food and water as they search for Ryan. They have been a huge help – please consider now helping them. https://t.co/MTornApQLL – click the red ‘Donate Locally’ button. — La Vista Police (@lavistapolice) May 21, 2021 (Thursday evening) Officers went door to door to hand out flyers as the search continues for a fourth night. Law enforcement leaders say this is not the first time Ryan has wandered off, but they say he’s never been gone this long. Thursday evening, a police officer who said he has known Ryan for two years spoke with KETV NewsWatch 7’s Abbie Petersen. According to officer Stuart Nadgwick, Ryan had a lifesaver bracelet to track him up until February. Nadgwick fights back tears as he talks about Ryan. “Ryan is a good kid. He has gotten to know a lot of officers from our department. At Christmastime he will make ornaments for the department and then bring them to the department. He has a big heart,” Nadgwick said. Nadgwick met Ryan when the child became a member of Project Lifesaver, a program designed for those who have a risk of wandering. According to Nadgwick, over the course of those two years, Ryan wandered multiple times. “A majority of the times that Ryan had wandered, he was located in a relatively short distance where he had wandered from,” Nadgwick explained. He added that Ryan has multiple triggers that make him wander. This has happened from his apartment, a park and even school before. He likes to hide behind things, like trees, but when approached, made himself available. Now having him gone this long is heartbreaking for everyone. “Over the course of those two years, you get a friend with him. We’re talking about a 11-year-old boy who has challenges brought on by disabilities,” Nadgwick added. The good that Nadgwick has seen in Ryan outweighs any negative situations he’s been in with Larsen. “He is a good kid. He is a good kid and I know there are a lot of people worrying for him right now and if he has the ability, then it’s time to come home,” Nadgwick said. He also said that at this point, Ryan has to be cold, wet and hungry. Police want to get him home safely. Anyone who sees Ryan is urged to call 911. (Wednesday evening) As of Wednesday night, the FBI and representatives from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children were also at the scene to help with the search. “We’re pulling in all the resources that we can,” Lausten said. “They’ve had cases before even with kids with autism have left and they’ve been found. … With the experts that we have, we have a pretty good idea of what we’re doing here and what we need to do.” The City of La Vista announced Wednesday afternoon they did not need any more volunteers. They said there had been no sightings and asked the entire Omaha metro to be on the lookout for Larsen. Larsen had searched ‘how to hide from police’ La Vista Police Capt. Jeremy Kinsey said detectives are working with the family and searched their computer. Kinsey said they found searches Larsen made regarding, “hiding from the police,” “hiding underground” and “how to avoid being spotted.” Kinsey said Larsen is very “high functioning,” has a history of running away and history of hiding. “He likes to hide in the weirdest spots,” he said. “He could very well be watching us right now, laughing at us.” He said Larsen has a history of not liking to be spoken to, especially by strangers. Kinsey said there is no reason to believe Larsen has been abducted or that anything suspicious is going on. “He’s playing the ultimate game of hide and seek on us now and he’s winning,” he said. Kinsey asked that people be kind on social media and not bombard officers with speculation. “I promise you we’ve thought of checking trash cans and parked cars,” he said. “There’s no playbook for an 11-year-old autistic that likes to hide and runs away,” said La Vista Police Chief Bob Lausten. How Larsen walked away from school Annette Eyman with Papillion La Vista Schools says he was transitioning from one room to another classroom and a teacher noticed within about 5 minutes he was gone. There are no surveillance cameras on any of the elementary schools in the Papillion – La Vista School District, so checking cameras was not an option, she said. They believe he walked out of one of the school doors. “They immediately began to search the building to see where he was and then notified Ryan’s mom and the police immediately,” Eyman said. “I cant think of anything more heartbreaking as a parent or a staff member than having to look for a child.” Other information Last sighting: Officials said Larsen walked out of school around noon Monday. A nearby business provided police with surveillance video that showed him in the area around 2 p.m. There have been no other credible sightings of the boy since. Manhole search: Around noon Tuesday, crews were zeroed in on a manhole where they had heard noises, but officials said Larsen was not inside. Info for volunteers: Officials said volunteers should search ditches and tall grass, believing he is likely tired and wanting to lay down. Officials stated that volunteers should not approach Larsen if they see him, instead they should call 911 and follow him at a safe distance. La Vista Police Capt. Jeremy Kinsey urged volunteers not to go on anyone’s private property for their own safety. “I don’t want you to be bitten by anyone’s dog, or have some knucklehead with a gun come out threatening you,” he said. He also asked people to continue to obey traffic laws. Source link Orbem News #11yearold #continues #Day #Missing #picked #scent #Search

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tboraradha · 4 years

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My story: There are core memories and are used to build islands based on the major involvements in our lives. This was perhaps one of the major climax scenes in the movie “Inside out”. I really have a vague idea as to what exactly is the definition of core memories, but I have always been astonished as to why there has never been a fear island in the movie. I am a 32-year-old man with a budding business and a happy little family. My daughter turned two recently and as today is Sunday the entire family went out for brunch. It has been a tradition since the time I got married. Today my daughter has selected the movie Inside out and that’s what got me wondering about islands exactly the same way I had when I watched the film for the first time at sixteen. I do not know which scene is going on as my mind is stuck on the island scene and that’s how my train of the past thoughts has started yet again.

I was born into the most ordinary household. My mom was always emotional regarding anything related to me and well, dad was more concerned in figuring out as to what I would become when I grew up. They used to click so many pictures and mom spent hours arranging an album with literally my entire childhood. So basically it was a very ordinary happy household and my birth was no more dramatic. I don’t want to sound as bragging but I was an extremely cute kid and maybe that’s why I used to get away with many mischiefs. I was one of the naughtiest kids according to mom and slightly a spoilt kid. It seems once I had to be dragged out of a store as I wouldn’t leave when my parents had refused to buy me a toy. I was so angry that my mom couldn’t make me do my homework and for three whole days I was sulking around doing exactly opposite of what they asked me of. I was not a prefect kid but I was a perfectly ordinary slightly spoilt child.

Now it is almost time for my daughter to join pre-school and it seems for kids too now-a-days there are entrance examinations. So like many parents I too enrolled her into a tuition class where it seems the kids are prepared to face the examinations. When I am outside waiting for my daughter to finish her classes all the parents start chattering and discussing mostly about the respective wards. I too laugh and let out how naughty my girl is. Just loving to have fast food and sulking at milk and falling asleep just when her mom asks her to sit down to study. She is a naughty two-year-old. I know it’s out of light hearted humour that the parents refer to their kids’ mischiefs as them not being a normal kid. For them they haven’t seen out of the “normal” things. A child listening to everything a parent asks to do or eating properly is the definition of normal for them. It would have been for me too had I not known what in reality the intensity of weird situations can go to when there is, in its literal meaning, an “abnormal” child being born into any family.

When I was three, my little sister was born and I was beyond happy to finally have someone to play with and not be alone all the time. But as a child she was so different. According to the normal definition of today’s parents she was beyond normal. She hardly cried, always used to do whatever mom and dad asked her to do without bickering or complaining. She was a really isolated kid hardly talking to anyone even not me. I was such a naughty child that I wouldn’t even care that she was so quiet. I was more drawn towards playing with her and well, all the time I used to be behind her and make her play with me. As we were starting to grow, as it happens we started going to school and as she never asked me to spend time with her we grew slightly apart. But on her fifth birthday, she for the first time came to me to see if I was interested to open the gifts with her. Needless to say I was overjoyed. Finally, she had opened up and we could again be playing and having that intimate brother-sister relationship. I remember that day so distinctly and that happiness even I was as young as 8 years of age.

It is I think the most natural thing for parents to worry about a quiet child more than a naughty one. I have seen my parents worrying about my sister as to what will she do if mom and dies. She wouldn’t have friends and how would she crack a job interview and who would marry her. Naturally, mom and dad tried their level best to get her to make friends and open up. Sometimes they were sweet and sometimes when they lost the patience they used to be quite harsh about it. They used to tell if she didn’t change her ways the society wouldn’t accept her. On worse days she was even told she would be the reason for the defaming of our family. I knew even at school she was having a hard time. By the age of 10 she was already tagged as “weirdo” in her school. The only person around whom she was slightly talkative was around me. I sometimes tried to talk to our parents but even I was 13. Nobody really paid heed to my words.

Suddenly one day she came to my room and told very quietly that she hated mom and dad. That day was one of the bad days. Our parents were beginning to hear taunts and insults about the weird nature of their daughter. Mom out of exasperation told her she was going to be a burden. For the first time maybe she retaliated and then there were more screams from mom and joined by dad. But she was already out of the room and had supper all by herself. She was in her room with the door locked and it was only after our parents went to bed that she came to me. I was really touched to see her like that. She said something about being happy if there was harm bestowed upon our parents. I understood that she was angry at our parents but still did my best to try to explain their good intentions and how much they loved her. She nodded and left the room. I didn’t feel she was convinced though.

The next day my parents had gone down to the supermarket and when they returned I saw they were making way to home with a big lump on their heads and both were limping. At the supermarket a shelf of tinned food had overturned and fallen on them and they were hurt though it was nothing serious. I still have no reason why but I instinctively looked at my sister and the fact that she was smiling gave me the chills. It was almost a victory smile. Her wish from the previous night had been fulfilled.

I tried not to think much about it. In fact, I slowly started to forgot the incident till her annual function incident. I think she was 14 and all were preparing for the annual function is school and as usual my sister was sitting quietly in the classroom. A boy had come and saw her and called her an ugly bimbo. Generally, she was known to remain calm but that day I think she went ahead and slapped that boy. A fight erupted. Parents were called and after a long meeting things were sorted. When she came home, I went to her to let her know that the boy had been wrong and not her. She was angry and humiliated. I knew that because she was crying and sobbing. She almost croaked that the boy should be so hurt that he wouldn’t be able to do anything till the time he doesn’t mend his ways. The next day he slipped on the stairs and hit his lip on the corner of the stairs got serious head injuries too. Needless to say, I was beyond shocked and confronted her. She said it as a matter fact of tone that her wishes would come true always. I so badly wished she was kidding but I knew her. She never joked.

I think that was when my downfall began. I got nervy and jumpy whenever anything bad happened. I started getting so scared of her I used to shiver even if she was simply standing near me. I started going to depression and the beginning of body spasms had begun. I was constantly worried about losing mom and dad, about something happening to me. My health condition got pretty serious. Sister used to come my room to ask about me and I just had to gather up my strength to not pass out due to the fear. She had turned 15. She wanted to talk to me. And when she said that I couldn’t control my fear and passed out. I had to be rushed to the hospital and by this time I was scared and also getting really tired of being scared. When I was at home and recovering slowly, she had come to ask if I was doing well. I had had enough of keeping things within myself. I told her maybe she was the biggest reason of my condition. She was really blank at that accusation. I had not paid any attention to that and continued ranting. I was scared of her and I told her on her face. I didn’t want such a dangerous creepy person near me and be terrorised. At some point I might have said things much more horrible which are somewhat blur now. She had tried to speak out. I only remember fragments now. It seems that she had realised whatever power she had was dangerous and learnt to control of it. She felt very guilty when she had seen the condition of that boy in the nursing home and promised herself that she would have a control over her thoughts and there have been almost no more such incidents where people were hurt. But as it happens, a scared person can never be talked into sense and same was the case with me. I just wouldn’t listen to anything.

When she saw there was no effect of her words on me, she quietly went out of my room. The next morning is something I wouldn’t forget. I didn’t feel anything. I was numb. My sister was lying dead in the bathroom. She had slipped and cracked her skull and bled to death.

After a few days suddenly I woke up. I was sweating and something was disturbing me. I think the loss had hit me for the first time then. And more than grief I was engulfed with guilt. You see I thought I was scared for myself and our parents. When in reality I should also have been scared for her.

Our last words to each other before she left my room will forever haunt me. I somehow remember every word of it.

I had shouted at her. “You have always been weird and you do know that you can be a murderess and nobody can arrest you even. All you need to so is wish. A ticking time bomb you are and can burst at any time. But I don’t care anymore and now you may leave. I just wish you hadn’t been here, then none of these wouldn’t have happened.”

She said, “You should know that I have always loved you the most and I can never ever wish you any harm. Really sorry. I am leaving and your wish will be fulfilled.” She smiled and left.

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saulkamionsky-blog · 5 years

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Ronnie Schloss – a lifetime of achievement in soccer

15 May 2004 was no ordinary day in South Africa. It was the day that the host of the 2010 Soccer World Cup would be announced. The likes of Nelson Mandela, Danny Jordaan and Ronnie Schloss anxiously waited with feelings of hope, excitement and fear for the big announcement to be made by the then president of the Federation of International Football Association's (FIFA), Sepp Blatter.

Schloss, who was an integral part of the bid team working under Jordaan - the leader of South Africa's 2010 FIFA World Cup bid, was thinking back to how his life has led him to be a mere seconds away from helping South Africa to host football’s biggest showpiece.

“I was born in Johannesburg, I grew up in Hillbrow and I went to Highlands North High School. I played soccer from about under 10s, 12s, 14s, 16s, 18s for Ramblers who used to be a team in Johannesburg and also for Wits,” recalls Schloss.

However, Schloss first got involved in the administration of football after he suffered an injury in his playing career. “I was a student at Wits studying Quantity Surveying, and played for them, but then I got injured, and then I got involved in the administration of the club.”

“I started off as a committee member of the Wits soccer club, then became the secretary, then became chairman and then decided to relinquish the chairmanship to give others a chance and then became the president.

“By being involved with Wits soccer club, I represented them at meetings with the old NFL and NPSL and served on committees in both organizations and over the years I got involved with the league then, assisting them with regard to their facilities. I became the treasurer of the old NPSL and subsequently became the treasurer of the PSL [South Africa’s Premier Soccer League] for many years.

“While I was still at the university, I got involved as project manager for the 2010 World Cup bid handling the stadium development because my background is construction – I was professor of construction at Wits.

“As project manager I was also involved in all the preparation of the bid books which were the most important thing to present our case to FIFA and after being awarded the World Cup I had to do a detailed analysis of all the stadiums we had proposed to see how we could meet those minimum requirements in the short time period that we had.”

“At the same time I was working at the PSL as the Chief Operations Officer.”

Although Schloss is no longer the COO of the PSL due to having reached retirement age, he is still very much involved in the day to day running of the PSL. “My main functions now are to look after and ensure that we comply with all the latest legislation regarding safety and security at stadiums. I am responsible for licensing all the stadiums in the country and I also assist in the day to day running of football and that would involve players insurances, fixtures and so on.”

Throughout his tenure at the PSL he has helped improve South African football in a variety of ways, but he is most proud of two. “The big thing was working with the unions years ago in improving the livelihood of the players by introducing insurances for the players, debt cover, so looking after the welfare of the players. And the other I really believe is also important is the implementation and making sure that the clubs complied with the latest legislation and the owners of the stadiums – such as the municipalities – complied with the statutes that were there. My big thing was to get across to the municipalities the fact that we couldn’t facilitate matches at their stadiums because they didn’t comply with a, b, c and d and until they did there would be no games there.”

His position has allowed him not only to make good friends both locally and internationally, but also gave him the opportunity “to meet most of the Presidents for the last 25 years.” He has met FW De Klerk, Nelson Mandela and Jacob Zuma, amongst others.

He also has also met the crème de la crème of the footballers that have shone in many stadiums. “I met George Best years ago.” He also met David Beckham, as well as Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard when the England team were in South Africa for the 2010 World Cup.

However, Schloss is saddened by the fact that there are very few professional Jewish players in South Africa (currently Dean Furman is the only one) . “I go and watch my grandsons play and there are some good little Jewish kids and they just seem to fizzle out. Once they get to high school they disappear, but there is a lot of good talent and it’s a pity. They should be nurtured and they should be with some of the pro clubs. Some of the pro clubs have very good academies, where they can finish their schooling, get a university entrance and carry on playing.”

Schloss also went to Maccabi as manager of the soccer team in 1989, 1993 and in 1997. His duties as manager were to manage the team, try to get the players to work with the coach and to get the team prepared for the tournament so that they could play to their full potential.

On the subject of attendances at PSL matches, Schloss reveals that South Africans’ interest in local football is tremendous. “We know from the AR ratings for TV, we have millions of people watching our games, we can get 5 or 6 million for just an ordinary league game on a weekend and during the week night games we can exceed that quite easily because at times we have matches being televised on both SABC and SuperSport.”

Furthermore, the presence of satellite dishes are prevalent throughout the country, even in squatter settlements and there is a reason for this. “There is a special, cheap package which has soccer on it and people can sometimes watch three or four games on one weekend that are all televised live.”

The recent emergence of young white men attending games is something Schloss also finds heartening. “I think it’s to do with mixing in school, integration with people of other races at school. We are all South Africans and we have got to learn to mix.”

Schloss also encourages even more people, especially Jews, to attend PSL matches. “Our matches are actually a good evening’s entertainment. If you go to Wits, for example, it’s a good fun evening because there is normally four to five thousand people and the students are singing and there’s the music and the band.”

“My two sons are soccer mad, both of them used to play soccer.” One of his sons, Jonathan, is the COO of Bidvest Wits and following in his father’s footsteps.

Schloss’s thoughts were then interrupted when Blatter said: “The 2010 FIFA World Cup will be organized in… South Africa.” Cue celebrations throughout South Africa, and Schloss knew that his lifetime of hard work and dedication to soccer had bared fruit.

#RonnieSchloss #southafricanfootball

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the-sound-and-the-fury · 6 years

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August Book Round Up!

I was a bit all over the place in August. I decided I was going to start reading the backlog of books I’ve had sitting at home before getting anything new, and instead I just started zipping through the library.

1. Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

1. Leave the ocean alone 2. If you're that determined to abandon the (relative) safety of the land, make sure the damn ship is functional 3. Don't trust the scientists to keep you safe, because their entire M.O. is to poke the dangerous things with a stick even when it's been established that the dangerous things don't like sticks As you might imagine, I was very stressed throughout the duration of this book, but I have to admit that it was very good. It's a boat full of people on an adventure to find killer mermaids, and I couldn't really pass that up. At times, I felt kind of bogged down by the science, but I also realize that the science was actually an important part of character development (including the motivations, influence, and often death of them). And I think the cast of characters was really the strongest point of the story. There were some that I would have liked more time with, and others that I didn't care for, but all I wanted was to see a little more communication between them. I also have so many questions about the ending. If I'm honest, I don't know if I really want the answers, I think I just have to allow myself to be relieved the book ended when it did. Otherwise, I'm no better than the idiots who boarded this expedition

2-3. On Duty (Smoke and Bullets #1) and Broken Protocol (Smoke and Bullets #2) by AR Barley

All I can think about is JVN on Queer Eye asking about secret romances in the firefighter episode of season 1, but apparently the happens in the third book, which I have deemed a little too expensive for an ebook at this point in time.

4. A Duke in the Night (The Devils of Dover #1) by Kelly Bowen

I think I would rather have a series about the girls attending the Haverhall School for Young Ladies because it was so sneaky, so it was almost a struggle to deal with the actual couple in the book (who at the very least knew each other previously, so the instalove wasn’t as bad). I also didn’t realize that this series isn’t finished yet, so in waiting for the rest, I fell down a dark path of adequate romance novels featuring titles and book covers that have nothing to do with the actual stories.

5-7. I’ve Got My Duke to Keep Me Warm (The Lords of Worth #1) and A Good Rogue is Hard to Find (The Lords of Worth #2) and You’re the Earl That I Want (The Lords of Worth #3) by Kelly Bowen

The instalove was pretty bad, but I need you all to understand that the Dowager Duchess of Worth (and all of her chickens, pet and decorative) was the best character I’ve encountered in historical or romance fiction. May she continue to right all the wrongs of the aristocracy.

Otherwise, Sebastian the valet from the first book deserved way more page time, the couple from the second book was my favorite, and the third book had the most interesting mystery plot even though it got a little big for this kind of series.

8-9. Duke of My Heart (Season for Scandal #1) and A Duke to Remember (Season for Scandal #2) by Kelly Bowen

I would have liked the first book to be twice the length and really delve into Ivory’s life story because the plot was really interesting, but alas, all we got was an insipid romance with a male lead who wasn’t written as strong as her.

Also, this series doesn’t have a duchess with pet chickens, and it suffers for that, which is partly why I couldn’t get into the second book and it took me so long to read. I might not even bother with the third book...

10-11. From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess (From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess #1) and Royal Wedding Disaster (From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess #2) by Meg Cabot

I finally gave in to this middle grade spin-off series of The Princess Diaries, and it was as adorable as expected. This first book overlaps with Olivia's introduction in Royal Wedding and she remains adorable. I love the continuing diary format, and the doodles are a fun addition

12. Uprooted by Naomi Novik

I had no idea where the story was going half the time, but I liked the journey. It really meandered around, but honestly so did the magic, and I appreciated that it felt different from a lot of other fantasy that I read. The Wood was creepy and I liked how it moved from backdrop to main character. Though I do think a little more character development could've been squeezed into the plot, given how much space was given to descriptions of food and clothes and such, but it never felt like anyone was so flat that it detracted from the action. Agnieszka was a great narrator in that she had a defined personality without overwhelming, but there were a few times I wanted to yell at her to focus so I could figure out what was going on.

Also, this is book #80 for the year, so I’ve hit my goal! Now I’m just trying to see if I can match last year’s book count of 122.

13-14. Royal Crush (From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess #3) and Royal Royal Crown (From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess #4) by Meg Cabot

The series continues to be adorable, and it’s funny seeing some of the original characters through Olivia’s eyes. Because everything that Grandmere does is funny to Olivia, even as I can see how it would drive Mia up the wall. But watching Grandmere interact with all the tween royals has been a highlight of this series so far.

That said, Olivia’s friend Nishi is like a bad combination of Lilly Moscovitz and Tina Hakim Baba from Mia’s more difficult high school years, but without any redeeming qualities, and I don’t like her. It’s been a while since I hated a 12-year-old, but I’m glad I can finally admit that.

15. The Looking Glass by Janet McNally

This story was sweet and sad, and as eager as I was to finish the book, I didn't want it to end. I did expect a little more ballet in action, but I appreciated the copious amounts of Fleetwood Mac, the road tripping, and the maybe-fairy tale characters appearing throughout. I will admit that I found the fairy tales more believable than Jack and Sylvie's visit to that camp, but that's a personal bias from my own camp experience. Also, this kind of makes me want to reread Girls in the Moon.

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trendingnewsb · 6 years

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How Violent Video Games Might Be Screwing With Your Brain

I’ve been committing war crimes in video games since the goddamned Carter era. In a game last night, I used a combination of a flamethrower and a trained bear to kill a man who I think was just trying to change a tire on his car. I’m typing this on a solid gold computer I bought with money made from distributing violent media. I’m not here to take anyone’s fun away.

But, to boil my point down to Tweet length:

I don’t think violent video games make kids do violence in real life. The evidence for that is weak to nonexistent. I do think violent video games can make some people into raging, intolerant jerks via a process that is rarely talked about. I think that assertion is supported by both data and common sense. Let’s see if you agree!

Moral Crusaders Get It Wrong

The always-weird experiments that “prove” a connection between violent video games and aggression seem to all involve having some kids kill shit on a screen, then testing them to see if they’ll harm somebody in real life, like playing a loud noise to punish another kid. Sure enough, the ones playing violent games were (immediately after) harsher on their peers.

Even if you’re not a trained Mad Scientist, you know why that’s a weak-ass connection. At best, that seems to happen for the same reason pro athletes get into shoving matches after a play, even though they wouldn’t do the same while, say, in line at a breakfast buffet. They’re keyed up, on edge. Let them calm down, and they’re fine.

Now, in the above-linked study, the scientists seemed surprised to find that they got the same reaction from cartoonish games and more “realistic” ones (I put the sarcasm quotes there because Street Fighter was one of their “realistic” games). Sure enough, a later study found no change in subjects based on how realistic a game’s violence was.

That right there is crucial to my theory: Games simulating violence don’t translate to real-world violence because they’re not actually simulating that at all. The sensations of real-world violence — genuine physical fear, shaking, cold sweat — just aren’t there. Games train you for that about as well as watching IT trains you fight sewer clowns.

I think lots of you would prefer to just stop reading here. Games are healthy and harmless and that’s that, goddammit. But …

Game Defenders Get It Wrong Too

The knee-jerk response to critics has always been, “Of course games don’t train you to be violent, or sexist, or anything else. It’s just a game, it’s imaginary!” But those exact same people will applaud articles about how games teach kids problem-solving, improve hand-eye coordination, and even help them learn social skills. Which makes sense. If you spend several hours a day doing something, it’s going to change you. Your brain is built to adapt to whatever it’s repeatedly asked to do — “They’re just games” is therefore a nonsense defense.

And obviously software can train you to do things in the real world — that’s how we teach pilots how to fly (at first). And we know that storytelling media can change your attitudes and worldview. You learned in elementary school about how Uncle Tom’s Cabin took the abolitionist movement mainstream, and how The Jungle caused such widespread outrage that the public demanded companies put fewer severed human fingers in their hamburgers.

Movies, shows, and songs invent catchphrases and fashion trends, and set beauty standards. They also make us think we understand subjects we don’t. To this day, parents teach kids to be terrified of strangers when it’s friends, family, and acquaintances who are most likely to harm them because on TV, the danger is always some predator snatching them off the street. And as I pointed out years ago, the Jaws franchise had horrific consequences for real sharks.

In fact, if somebody else wants to argue that war-based games make players more willing to support war in an abstract way (more willing to vote for it, root for it on TV, whatever), they’re free to make that case. If they want to point out that these games feed our weird gun fetish and make assault rifles seem like super cool toys, others have already made that point in a very eloquent way. But I’m talking about something different …

They Don’t Teach Violence — They Teach Us That Obstacles Should Be Easy To Eliminate

One key finding in studies is that video games (violent or otherwise) reduce impulse control in some kids, and lower their ability to tolerate frustration. You can read more about that here, or here, or here, or in any number of other articles if you just Google those terms. It seems to be worse for kids who play tons of games, and it may be worse when those games are violent. Please note that it’s really hard to study this — a human life is full of variables.

Since I am not a professional scienceman, I am going to use my own experiences as a lifelong gamer and rage monster to explain what I think is going on. The addictive loop that makes video games so appealing — and so much more appealing to people with a certain personality type — can be summed up thusly:

A) Here is a thing that is blocking your progress

B) Click a series of buttons to make it disappear

C) Here is a satisfying animation to celebrate your success

Over and over again, for hours at a time, across days, months and years. Hundreds of thousands of repetitions etched into the brain. Problems, button presses, solutions. This is training the brain, altering it. It has to be. It would be weird if it wasn’t.

So if “violent” video games are worse for us, it isn’t because of the violence. It’s because they’re all based around that incredibly satisfying mechanic of quickly eliminating obstacles, one after another (as opposed to games based around complex puzzle-solving, teamwork, memorization, etc). It’s not about tapping into our natural urge to kill; it’s about tapping into our natural urge to fix problems by eliminating them.

It’s a power fantasy, but not in the way moral crusaders insist. It doesn’t train us to want to slit the throat of anyone opposing us. It trains us to want and expect anything opposing us to vanish if we simply apply enough effort to the task. That’s what happened to me, anyway.

The Real World Does Not Work That Way

My patience with shitty people is so thin that it can no longer be considered to exist in three dimensions. My world is full of people expressing horrible, wrong opinions on various social media channels I apparently can’t quit, customer service workers who seem annoyed that I’m doing business with them, fellow drivers who seem to worship some kind of dark god of chaos, and voters who apparently just want to see the world burn. I do not handle it well.

When something doesn’t function — whether it’s a system, a human being, or my air conditioner — I lose my shit. I want the obstacles to go away. I don’t want to shoot them with a railgun or attack them with my Far Cry 5 bear. I haven’t been in a fight since I was eight — real violence would make me sick. I just want them gone. Not managed, not ameliorated, but gone. And I want to be told what simple sequence of actions I need to take to make that happen.

My ability to remain calm and analyze problems, or to patiently wait for long-term solutions to take their course, is dogshit. If those circuits even exist in me, they’re fried. The stress of unresolved problems is unbearable. It doesn’t make me violent, but it does make me irritable, rash, and impulsive. When I’m in those moods, that’s when I want most to retreat into games — a world in which nothing can oppose me for long. I think it’s been like that for as long as I’ve been playing.

“But wait,” you say, “why would this translate from the game world to the real world if violence doesn’t? Ha! I have defeated your entire point by noticing this inconsistency, even though you wrote this question and put it into the mouth of an imaginary interlocutor.”

Thanks for asking. The reason is …

Everyday Interaction Has Been Gamified

The entire appeal of social media is that it turns interaction with your social circle into a game. Your baby photos get a score in the form of likes, and the restaurant that screws up your order can get hit with a bad Yelp review, lowering their score. People who piss you off can be blocked, vanishing from your field of view as neatly as the victims of my Far Cry murder bear (his name is Cheeseburger, and he’s diabetic). When I order something on Amazon, I can watch the delivery progress on a little graphic meter, observing them failing me one step at a time. If I’m unhappy with the product, the one-star review feels as good as a headshot.