#like i am mondo stan 1 first and foremost BUT I AM ALSO A MIKAN STAN 1 AND U CAN FIGHT ME IN THE PARKING LOT

[dokitm-arch]

me, dusting off the blog after yet another 50 years of vanishing with a pack of caprisun: so, i’ve been rewatching most of d/anganr/onpa content and have the three games which i plan to replay because ahaha, gotta love myself being enabled by SOMEONE to play ‘em, again...you know who you are and i’m only reminded by the utter guilt and misery my girl, mikan, has to go through after waking up from her vegetative state in neo world program. having to accept the harsh reality of the horrible actions she’s done in the name of “love” for junko, which was never real. having to come to a horrible realization that SHE pushed nanami to her death....SHE brought her closest friends, the first friends she ever had, to watch their representative, who brought them together, get killed and succumb to despair. having to finally see the damage mikan has done to her ACTUAL LOVE this applies for any ship i have with her be betrayed by her after abandoning them for junko’s “love”... it’ll destroy her. completely, utterly destroy her with so much guilt...and she’s already mentally unwell, to begin with. it’s those awful realizations that have mikan initially distance herself, fully, from everybody. for the first time, mikan feels completely undeserving of any attention she’s craved for so long... for the first time, she feels undeserving of forgiveness. 

it is only by the unconditional support from everybody that mikan does find her own footing, no matter how much time it took because they’ve all had an understanding, and come out of her miserable state just enough to at least redeem herself by saving the survivors of the final killing game, in hope arc. while mikan’ll never be able to get rid of these awful feelings nor thoughts, not even the grim reality of being unable to bear children due to removing her own womb in replacement of junko’s, she now knows they all have each other and she has done a contributable part in saving kirigiri’s life as well as everybody’s reputation by pinning the blame for what happened to future foundation on the remnants of despair. in her eyes, she is forgiven by those she’s come to rescue and it’s this reassurance that will keep her marching to an unforeseeable future. 

tl;dr: pluto feels for d/anganr/onpa for the 139192992992929292929th time all over again, thx 4 coming 2 my TED talk.

#👹 ` ⟪ ooc. ⟫ / SHUT UP PLUTO. #👹 ` ⟪ headcanons. ⟫ / ABOUT A MUSE. #👹 ` ⟪ ch. mikan tsumiki ⟫ / ULTIMATE NURSE. #gore mention / #infertility mention / #pregnancy mention / #ask to tag #so anyway how are u all doing? im doing just DESPAIRING #:") #why did i allow myself to get back into the old roots GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHO ALLOWED ME TO DO THIS #i just. love mikan so much? shes def my fave sdr2 chara with fuyu being second and hajime third #i mean i love them all but mikan just? struck out so much to me for some reason? shes just so interesting and her character backstory is jus #just too gruesome. man... the shit she had to go through like i do not blame her for being the way she has become. she was a victim #to unfortunate and traumatizing circumstances #me signing adoption papers: #like i am mondo stan 1 first and foremost BUT I AM ALSO A MIKAN STAN 1 AND U CAN FIGHT ME IN THE PARKING LOT #there is more than just flashing pantsu while tripping .... there is way way more :pensive: