#like i dunno it's rather comforting to me that yea perhaps i'll be able to say the same too when i become older

[thewhizzyhead]

The trust issues that come with the prep for the worst hope for the best mentality are great! (/s). I’ve been at it for most of my life and on the one hand, it has saved me a lot of strife but I’ve also missed a lot of really good opportunities and relationships because I didn’t want to trust that people had my back or that I was prepared enough to handle a situation.

I’d like to think that getting older and experiencing the world more has helped me have a sense of what I can and can’t control. It hasn’t stopped me from running all of the worst case scenarios, but it has helped me to regulate my need to be prepared for every horrible outcome, mainly by getting a better sense of the stakes and consequences. Some things that used to feel like the end of the world are more like a shrug and send an apology email and move on. (It helps that I had access to a really good therapist who helped me work on StuffTM, including but not limited to recognizing where my responsibilities end and someone else’s problems begin)

- Patroc

oooofff this hit hard cause yup i very much relate with this. like yea my brain constantly coming ip with contingency plans in case something goes wrong is very useful in a lot of stuff (particularly chess) but yea it also did make me miss out on a lot of opportunities and fun stuff I would've very much enjoyed cause well um trust issues and anxiety woo. i can't count the amount of times i had to ditch my family and friends cause i was like so fucking worried on and busy with school shit + anxiety acting up because of said preoccupation with school shit and lack of faith that everything would go well. It's good to hear though that you've got a better sense of what you can and can't control rn like that's extremely good dude!! So glad that you're now able to regulate that woo! And here's to hoping I'll be able to get to that point too

#hopefully soon #i mean i am gonna use my look-i-have-good-grades card as a means to like convince my mom to get me to therapy jfjxd so um yea #it's good to hear tho that you're doing better and that growing up made u like get a sense of what u need and dont need to regulate #like i dunno it's rather comforting to me that yea perhaps i'll be able to say the same too when i become older #so yea thanks a lot patroc! i hope ur doing good dude!! #also oops this was in the drafts for a while and i forgot to post this oops sorry about that #patroc! (rabbit holes!) #ask me stuff