#like my dad financially helps me and I am grateful but I havent seen him sober in weeks. months even. and also he is only interested in the

[scalpelsister]

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#posting here to explain my jinx posting without like. venting in some poor gif makers tags #but basically. goodbye by ramsey came on in my mix and that reminded me of my ex qpp / childhood best friend #and how the day before my birthday marks. 8 months. of not having her around and in my life #like to give context: we met in kindergarten. we where like. 5 lol. #like we where very close for 16 years #/I do not really remember being a person without her at my side/ #and ive been doing the thing I do where I dont really unpack things? like I had my little heart break when it happened obviously but #I then was like. well ok no more crying lets get on with it #and i am just starting to realize that I have not been getting on with it and also that this is perhaps going to be a bit hard to unpack #and come back from #and i am also wondering if this isnt having fun exciting new bad consequences on my social skills #and how i am interacting with. literally everyone. #like literally if you know me right now I am so sorry holy shit lmao #i also do not have any support group anymore. like this is not me asking for one from internet strangers its just uh #a bit worrisome that I have no therapist no very close friend no parental figure or family member who can fill those roles for me #like my dad financially helps me and I am grateful but I havent seen him sober in weeks. months even. and also he is only interested in the #woman he met. he literally probably spends more time with her kids #than he does with me #and theyve been dating for less than a month #with his last gf he literally was constantly going on about her kid like it was his kid and i was a work friend #like cool just say you dont love me and would kick me out if you had the heart to next time actually. #so yeah im having a really good good fun normal time right now :) #my post