#like no regrets it helps me sleep at night BUT STILL SDGHSKDGH

[hella1975]

my sunshiney friend who I’m convinced has never judged anyone in her life and doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body: hey did something happen to your spotify I can’t find you anywhere :(

me knowing full well I blocked her in the heat of menstrual-infused paranoia convinced she was going to somehow scan through all of my playlists and collect enough clues to find my online presence and expose me: oh that’s weird

#like I just brushed it off with the shittest lie ever lmfao #bc she asked for my spotify AGESSS ago and then randomly a few weeks ago #JUST BROUGHT UP ONE OF MY PLAYLISTS? #and I was faced with the terrifying realisation that this girl checks my spotify regularly #and i was like. god damn. if u were really weird and stalkery you could very easily find my tumblr blog from my spotify #like even just from the titles (not anymore bc i changed them all in the exact same paranoia session that had me blocking her lmfao) #and ive finally accepted (bc ive noticed it for years but kinda ignored it) that i get SUPER paranoid before my period hits #like every month it's a whole thing and it SUCKS #and im pretty sure i posted about this when i did it but that night i was just CONVINCED that my spotify was going to expose me #and i blocked every single person from my real life on it skhgskjdghjk #AND THEN SHE MESSAGED ME TODAY SAYING THIS I WAS LIKE SHIT FUCK I FORGOT I DID THAT #like no regrets it helps me sleep at night BUT STILL SDGHSKDGH #im terrified that one day she'll ask again and i'll use the same 'idk why spotify isn't working :/' excuse #and she'll try and fix it WITH ME THERE in a way that LETS HER SEE MY SPOTIFY or worse THE FACT IVE BLOCKED HER #like if she finds out i actually made the conscious effort to block her there really is no normal explanation for that #and actually her assuming the worst would probably be better than the truth bc the truth is so much stranger lmfao #she's literally so lovely too i feel so bad but not bad enough to unblock her #sorry bestie ilysm it's not you it is very much me and this bitch hella1975 #music tings