#like whether she loved john is. hm. imo probably not heaven literally planned everything and forced them together

[tvxcue]

spn really did suffer so much bc they refused to really contend with john and what he did to sam and dean. literally society if mary post-resurrection really had to deal with the fact that john made her sons hunters. he’s your way out, he’s safe and he’s normal and he’s a happy ending and he made your worst nightmare a reality.

#like whether she loved john is. hm. imo probably not heaven literally planned everything and forced them together #but she thinks she loved him maybe she still does maybe she just remembers that she did but does she hate him now? #how guilty must she feel she was the one who made the deal she condemned her children but he made them soldiers #does she regret the deal? does she have a chorus of if onlys? #mary winchester #spn #speaking