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#like yes yes thats a start but with what fucking energy when im bedbound most of the time im not working and that doesnt stop these fascist
bunnyb34r
·
5 months
Text
I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse
#marquilla
#im not even joking when i say this next election makes me wanna kms so bad. im fucking terrified and i feel like we already know what's
#gonna happen. not bc people arent voting or organizing i mean bc of how far the right has gotten and how angry they are that a
#dem won so theyre gonna show up in droves and it's like god i wish we could idk have some safegaurds in place??? like oh idk you
#incite an insurrection you Can't run for president?? but also that wouldnt fully stop shit bc florida has its own neo nazi running and
#theres more behind him in the wings. but like idk man i just get so fucking suicidal thinking ab the future
#and my drs. are like well then dont look at the news??? 'i sure dont' mkay thats great (not) but um i CAN'T not watch bc i need to
#be informed i need to know. and they're like well then stop worrying ab it til election day?? LIKE THAT HELPS
#so i just dont bring it up. and i just spiral and have breakdowns in the shower and think ab making a will and shit yknow normal stuff
#bc this is fine! just dont engage! stop worrying it's like a year away! it MIGHT get better! idk Join in your community then??
#like yes yes thats a start but with what fucking energy when im bedbound most of the time im not working and that doesnt stop these fascist
#s like me helping the community garden would be good for the community and probably my mental health in general BUT that doesnt deal with
#the actual fear that makes me wanna Kermit
#like it really fucking feels like all i can do is pray and hope god somehow intervenes (rapture anyone?) and that things do go well and
#that the outright outspoken nzis don't win but like I really just wanna die man
#i know the outcome more than likely will not directly affect my life bc im white. cis passing. and can go back in the closet regretfully
#but like that doesnt reassure me any bc i have friends and loved ones and generally just give a shit ab other people and how this WILL
#affect them directly and that terrifies me. it really feels like we cant ever have a moment to just exist yknow??
#idk man i just wanna die bc im so scared haha how fun (: how normal (: this is fine. everything is fine.
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