#lookin crazy quality wise but. ah well

[yue-muffin]

Time Raiders (2016)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

This hellsite turns the images into POTATO quality but ah well, here we go. Into the tomb!

P A R T T W O

He’s a puppy!! Everyone in the family wants to protect him from this business, but here Uncle Three goes ‘eh, might as well’. This boy has no idea what he’s doing. At least Zhang Qiling is here to protect him, because in what world does he not?

Lovely scenery!

Wu Xie…he’s such a nerd. But I relate, I would also use random facts I know from school to start a conversation, my mom probably hates me for it haha. It’s sort of obnoxious coming from some people (me…especially in undergrad). I love it when Wu Xie goes on a ramble tangent though.

We’re really going straight for the throat with the “lookin the mirror because you don’t know who you are” thing, aren’t we. Aw, then he gives a little pout.

These subs are really decent grammar-wise, but LOL at them just giving up on translating Zhang Qiling’s nickname: 闷油瓶 (sullen oil bottle), apparently referring to the way he doesn’t like to talk. It’s a cute nickname but it’s so hard to translate. Some have gone with Poker-face, which I think is the best one you can get in English.

HAHA WU XIE. This kid. I looked up 安静 and the dictionary gives me “quiet, calm, peaceful”. He’s not really quiet, he is rather calm in that he doesn’t flip out easily, but he has such puppy energy that it’s hard to use that descriptor for him. But confirmation that he thinks Zhang Qiling is a handsome man.

Aw, there’s our Wu Xie. It’s funny because he’s so annoyed with Zhang Qiling in the first volume of the novel when he doesn’t respond to Wu Xie’s attempts to be friendly, he always refers to him with a bit of scorn. But, well, it’s a super slow burn relationship (I’m talking platonic, since that’s fully canon and I can turn my shipping goggles off lol) and we don’t have that kind of time in live action adaptations. I do have to say, I like the drama and movie for changing that dynamic a little - if not, it detracts from Wu Xie’s image as an innocent, naive young man, probably.

Oh my fucking god his finger is on the trigger THIRD UNCLE WHY DID YOU BRING THIS KID WITH YOU. Well, that marks the first Zhang Qiling rescuing Wu Xie (from himself…this dumbass) of the movie haha.

Oh he took the bullet out ok that’s better. Ha! Wu Xie is a little imp still.

You just gave Zhang Qiling an heart attack, Wu Xie, hope you’re happy.  

This kid. If he wasn’t so stoic, he’d have rolled his eyes. You can just see it in his soul.

Oh ok, we’re getting a flashback to Third Uncle scolding Wu Xie that’s better. I thought he really was that irresponsible to just go “ok sure!”

He looks so sad. It’s the puppy eyes, I’m telling you. That’s how he always gets his way lol.

So he has a dream that weighs heavily on him, but is it worth risking your life in an actual tomb for?

Smooth, he redirects Zhang Qiling’s question right back at him - why do you want to go to the tomb? I love it, he’s still got that mouth on him.

Ooh so they did end up using the periodic amnesia part of his character. And his insecurities about whether he truly exists in the world.

These looks they give each other. They’re so soft. Aahh (shipper me is back). Aww. “Don’t worry, I’ll record them with my camera. You won’t be lost.” So there is a purpose for making photography part of his character. I like using the camera and mirrors as motifs.

“If I come or go, who cares.” I GUARANTEE YOU SOMEONE WILL.

More scenery for the record!

These shots really drive home what he just said: the world is so big, what’s one person in light of it all?

…Never change Wu Xie, never change. This is why everyone wants to protect him, because he says things like this. You’ll protect him?? Haha I remember when he said something like this in TLT2. It was so endearing. But also you just want to die laughing. But that is what makes Wu Xie, Wu Xie. Even in the first book, he cared and worried about Xiaoge’s whereabouts whereas everyone else was like “nah, he’s probably fine”.

HAHA WAIT. Third Uncle you are responsible.

Is this a prison transport truck why can it lock someone inside so easily.

This is so funny.

Oh no it’s the foreigners!! “You’ll be safer in the truck” they said.

It’s Pangzi and Ah Ning!

I still really miss TLT2 Ah Ning, I can only imagine that one in my head now haha.

I don’t understand why she had to climb on the side of the truck just to sit on the hood. Also, wear something a little more protective in the chest area if you’re gonna go tomb raiding it drives me absolutely crazy that women must always be so underdressed just for that male gaze.

You’ve got some good reception considering where you are. Her accent doesn’t make my ears bleed which is a good thing.

Oh-hoho he’s catching onto your little spy cam! IMPOSSIBLE haha that’s everyone’s reaction upon seeing Zhang Qiling after xx years looking the exact same.

And we’re in! Cue the greedy tomb robbers who touch things and get into trouble the second they enter the place. No deaths yet though…still too early.

-DO YOU SPEAK ZHONGWEN (Chinese)?

-*whisper* Chinese.

-CHINESE.

?? I’M DYING. This part is such comedy gold.

Yup that’s Pangzi, I think I’ve heard this one in other DMBJ adaptations but I don’t remember which one.

I’m pretty sure the tomb needs a key…which you have, Third Uncle…

Don’t worry, Zhang Qiling is here to help! As always, he tends to trounce everyone with the most mundane items even though the enemy is carrying heavy duty weapons.

Is something to happen to the beams? First a bracket fell off, now the camera focused on it briefly.

This Zhang Qiling is so low-key funny even though he doesn’t intend to be. They really said “how can we show Zhang Qiling being even more badass” by having him use the cloth as a distraction, then have it fall over his shoulders when it lands.

I also like how he never has any stupid qualms about fighting a woman. Oh he spoke English! Haha. “Not bad.” “I know.”

This Zhang Qiling.

Ah Ning pulling that gun out of her sleeve was real badass. I love how she’s the only one who actually gets hand-to-hand fighting and everyone else in her team just shoots from afar. She’s the team leader and boy does she deserve it. You go, Ah Ning!

Haha they are pretty good! Even set a trap.

Oh, Wu Xie got out of the truck.

Again, kudos to this Wu Xie for actually recording the stuff he sees in tombs.

Why am I laughing so hard right now haha. Look at his hands patting Zhang Qiling’s. His hands are a lot thinner now that they’re right up next to each other.

So high tech what is this haha.

What is my name? Wu Xie did you think he was an imposter or-

Aw, helping him check for his amnesia acting up haha. This kid.

Look at this smile. How can you hate him, it’d be like kicking a puppy. But also, he says the darnedest things. And Zhang Qiling gives a little laugh and a smile! See?

Gotta snap a picture of the bf.

Aww, nice music to go with the “hey you’re alright, proper introduction time” part. And they share a laugh, too.

GUYS YOU HAVE A KEY FOR A REASON?? If the darn thing isn’t turning, maybe you shouldn’t force it and try another method??

Wow they really went for the gore on this movie. Even got some nice blood splats when the thing clamps close. That’s not horrifying at all, nope.

Haha first trap you, the cut off the arm with a guillotine!

As always, Zhang Qiling to the rescue! But yikes is that one heavy duty sword.

Was it smart to light the ball on fire. I see statues holding crossbows that is not a good sign. This is a pretty imaginative way to light up a room though!

I love this Zhang Qiling.

The female statue is rather good looking?? It’s a statue?? And it looks downright creepy, not beautiful or sexy.

Oh no. They touched stuff in the tomb.

It’s a guy who has been dead for hundreds of years. What did you expect it to look and sound like.

Oh fuck no the eyes moved I hate it when this happens!!

Do you also see all the wires rigged to it or is that just me. And they’re holding CROSSBOWS. Now the HEADS MOVED I CAN’T.

There’s no corpse in the coffin great. And now the puppets are playing instruments. This is not disturbing.

COVER YOUR EARS. It’s too late!! Now everyone’s hallucinating, great.

Oh, she’s pretty! But don’t trust her!!

But why did Wu Xie get trapped in that dream of his, while everyone else is hallucinating that they’re still in the tomb.

A decent CGI lion for once? As long as it just stands there it looks fine.

And there goes Zhang Qiling’s magic blood!

It’s super effective! Oh, so he has to spill some blood for each person who is effected by the illusion? Yeah, no one say Zhang Qiling doesn’t care. He’s willing to spill enough blood to pass out (Book 1/TLT1), for all these dumbasses who probably had no business being in a tomb anyways with how they go about it and get themselves into mortal danger.

Yes, Wu Xie, be the voice of reason and protect him from your uncle and his friends. He could’ve left you guys to go crazy if he really did have malicious intentions. But he cut himself to save you, geez. Show some appreciation.

This is a pretty fun trap, gotta say. Wu Xie figured out the rhythm.

Don’t lie, he was definitely worried about Wu Xie, but haha turns out he’s not completely helpless. Just compare picture 1 to picture 2 lol.

HA KNEW IT. THE CROSSBOWS ARE NEXT.

Haha I love it how Zhang Qiling always preferentially helps Wu Xie up or worries about him, to the point Pangzi in Reboot/Chongqi doesn’t even really comment on it anymore.

Someone’s gonna end up dead at some point I’m just waiting for that ball to drop.

HAHAHA I’m howling.

Everyone falls on their asses and crashes into stuff. Zhang Qiling falls into a crouch A+ landing. Wu Xie?

Of course Zhang Qiling catches him. There always has to be a scene where Zhang Qiling holds Wu Xie in his arms, no matter the adaptation, haha. Is this the one for this version?

Of course it’s insects.

I QUIT? Everyone is looking for a way out, ok, you literally cannot quit until you get out of here.

Oh ew the bugs are here of course.

Aww that’s the Wu Xie we know. He wants to save people, always.

THE BUGS CAN EAT METAL. That surpasses “flesh-eating” ok.

Aw, look at his face. Poor boy. I didn’t think I’d grow this fond of Lu Han!Wu Xie.

This is why one person from your family died a month when you were a kid. Welp, that’s one person down.

Zhang Qiling hurting himself again to save their butts. In this adaptation it doesn’t seem that his blood repels so much as hurts creatures outright though, which is far less useful than his evil creature repellant in the dramas.

Lol, dude he even had to help you get your feet up on that metal thing.

WU XIE TRIES OK. He tries really hard. But it’s his first time in a tomb and he’s got more guts than half the people here ok.

SO YOU DECIDE TO PLAY THE FLUTE??

Always record Zhang Qiling’s smiles ok. He was so worried Wu Xie was going to be mooched alive by the bugs. I guess that’s why he can’t have the bug repellant blood in this adaptation lol. If he did, it would’ve helped a lot.

Oh, sure, now the foreigners come in.

You. You might have blown up the only exit??

Good thing your brains, Wu Xie, showed up after all, huh.

Option 1: Dig a hole!!

Option 2: Smash your way through!

How is he doing this haha. Zhang Qiling is too OP.

Aww, see, this is why their relationship across the franchise is so good?? Zhang Qiling in the books especially is so much of a badass, he always is ok and always wins, but it doesn’t matter how many times he escapes death. Wu Xie always cares and worries about leaving without him.

What’s with the awful weather outside lol.

Next Up: more tomb shenanigans!

#time raiders #image heavy post #the muffin's liveblogging adventures

[myownpersonaldemons]

*breathes in* goth reader (who is lowkey a e girl and looks like she could’ve been in the underground the whole time) meets uf grillby. Go crazy with this one darling like go fuck wild with the prompt. Go apeshit. :)

So, I’m an old lady, and I had to figure out what an e-girl was because yo, I had no idea. I’ve heard it before but never actually understood what it meant. So it took a bit before I actually could write this because I had to do *adjusts glasses* research.

By research, I meant googling it and still being confused so I asked my tumblr followers and someone explained it so I accepted that term as the One.

Anyways! Prompt away! Goth(lowkey e-girl) Reader meeting UF!Grillbz.

Heads up, there is some mature themes to this. As in, Reader works at a sex shop. So, be aware. (because you said go wild I was like ‘what’s a wild way to meet someone for the first time? a sex shop. yes perfect got it let’s go.’)

You hummed softly as you scrolled through the comments on your newest Instagram post. You’d started doing OOTD’s because a couple people who followed you on other social media websites begged you too.Though, you had to admit that a lot of the comments were validating as fuck. A couple of people asked where you got specific pieces of clothing, so you answered honestly.

Honestly, once you saw the goth aesthetic you were all over it…and when e-girl aesthetic became a thing you were all over that as well. There was just something about it that felt…right. You looked great, and you didn’t mind people staring at you as much as you might’ve at one point.

Plus, ever since the monsters came to the surface,  there was an explosion of alt-clothing available everywhere and it was beautiful. You could actually find new pieces at your local clothing stores instead of needing to order online and pay the hefty shipping fees.

The bell on the door rang and you locked your phone and tucked it back into your pocket. As you glanced up you saw two masculine looking monsters, but honestly with them you knew to never assume anything.You tried not to assume, especially at your place of work, anything aboutanyone who walked in through the doors. So, you merely smiled, “Hey! Welcome, if you need any help gimme a shout!”

The skeletal monster shrank in his hoodie, making a ‘tch’ sound and proceeded to stare directly at the ground. On the other hand, the monster made entirely of purple flame tilted his head down slightly so you could see his bright white eyes which he winked at you.

You merely kept your smile on because honestly? You were way too used to people flirting with you randomly when they came in.

The two headed off deeper into the store and you waited a bit before moving from behind the counter to start organizing some merchandise.

“tch…no fuckin’ way,” the skeleton’s voice reached your ears as started to front end face all the boxes along the far wall closer to the two monsters. “look, m’tellin’ ya stockings are way fuckin’ hotter than thigh highs.”

“You drink mustard for a beverage, Sans…I do not think your ‘tastes’ are considered viable in anyway,” the fire monster replied back coolly. The skeleton monster, Sans, made a disgruntled noise. “Thigh highs are far superior, and are less likely to tear and be ruined. Quality is sexy.”

Another noise, “what th’ fuck? quality? sorry, forgot your stupid rich ass is into bullshit like ‘cashmere and silk.’” You could hear the distain in the skeletons voice that almost made you snort in response. Instead, you kept your opinions and thoughts to yourself as you continued to hear them banter back and forth. Sans was still avoiding looking at anything while the other perused the merchandise casually.

A purple firey hand picked up one of the boxes near you and began to examine it closely.

“uh, s’cuse me,” Sans said, and it took you a second to realize he was talking to you, but once you did you quickly apologized and asked him if there was something you could help him with. “what d’ya think? stockings or thigh highs?”

You paused, confused as to why you were being asked that. However, when you shifted your weight you were reminded that you were wearing stockings. Ah, was he trying to get you to agree with him? You tilted your head in thought, did you agree with him? Potentially…but you sawstockings as more ‘traditionally sexy’.

“Thigh highs,” you said finally, “because if the girl is wearing a skirt you can see that little strip of thigh between the thigh high and the skirt and that's hot.”

The fire monster, whom you still didn’t know the name of, gestured at you with a dildo. “See, Sans? A woman of culture. Unlike you.”

Working at a sex shop was never a tiresome endeavour, especially when customers use a dildo to emphasize a point before they realized they were in fact holding a phallus shaped object.

Sans tsked, “then why aren’t cha wearing thigh highs insteada stockings?”

You glanced down at your stockings. They were just basic fishnet stockings beneath a black skirt. You returned your gaze to Sans and then shrugged, “cus I thought I looked cute like this today. But, anyways, enough about me!” you waved your hands, “What brings you two in for? Anything I can help you out with?”

The fire monster was already looking at a different dildo, examining it curiously. Sans on the other hand shrank into his hoodie, glaring over at the fire monster. “tch, this asshole’s lookin’ for some shit.”

“You could get something for yourself too,” the fire monster pointed out, placing the dildo back down to pick up a bigger vibrator.

“I can make some suggestions if you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom together,” you said, and the reaction was instant. The fire monster recoiled visably, and Sans started sputtering, eye sockets wide.

“i!!! ain’t with this asshole!” he said, his accented voice becoming thicker as he took a few steps away from his companion.

“He is my ride here, nothing more,” the fire monster said quickly.

“y-yeah!” Sans added. The two began to insist that they really weren’t together, not letting you get a word in edge wise to apologize for the confusion. You hadn’t meant together as in they were together but just together as in friends shopping together. Of course, you listened in amusement as they basically listed off all the reasons why they totally couldn’t be together to you before falling silent. You basically got to listen to two people roast each other for thirty minutes, progressively finding stupider reasons about why they wouldn’t work together.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume,” you settled for and Grillby, whom you finally figured out his name during their attempt to prove that they weren’t together, nodded stiffly before turning and front end facing a few boxes that you hadn’t gotten to yet. He picked up one of the larger dildos that your store carried and you added, “We also have some beginner ones-“

He gave you a dry look, “I’m not a beginner, I’ve had bigger.”

“didn’t need to know that,” Sans grumbled, covering his face with a hand, “look, grillbz, imma wait for ya outside. this is too fuckin’ weird.”

He strode towards the door quickly, and with a light dingle of the bell was gone. The moment the door shut completely, Grillby placed the dildo back on the shelf. “I’m here only because he spilt mustard on my favourite white shirt. I apologize for taking up your time, though I must admit, I’m glad that such a lovely woman as you is the one working. I haven’t seen many humans dressing like you.”

You would blush but you had stopped taking anyone’s flirts seriously while on shift.  “It’s kind of a niche look for humans,” you admitted, subconsciously tugging at the sleeves of your shirt. “To be honest,it was incredibly hard to find this sort of stuff until Monsters got to thesurface. You all look so awesome, how do you even find this sort of stuff?”

He gave you a thoughtful look at that, “I know a spider who custom makes clothing. A lot of monsters make their own clothing…for obvious reasons. Though…if I am honest, I thought you would have known that by now.”

You rose an eyebrow, “Uh…why?”

That made him pause, then he gestured to your neck, “You have a collar.”

It took a few seconds before it hit you.Oh! Your neighbour explained that monsters wore collars for different purposes. You were wearing a black leather choker with a silver heart on it. “Oh! Uh…no, this is a choker…it’s a fashion thing for humans. There’s no one…I’m not with anyone like that,” you quickly said, hoping you weren’t offending him.

“A woman of your quality and beauty? I’m fucking amazed you don’t have a plethora of people begging to be with you,” he said, eyes slowly raking over your body. “But again, I apologize for taking up your time.”

That compliment did manage to have your cheeks heat up.

“You’re my first customer in thirty minutes,” you admitted with a shrug instead, “Though if you are looking for something I can help you.”

He was silent for a moment before nodding, “I was actually curious about the body safe wax candles?”

“Oh! Those are my favourite, we got some new ones in,” you said happily, leading him over. You spent the next thirty minutes talking to him about the safety and precautions while using the candles, how to use them. It then dissolved into talking about different objects around the store that he was curious about, and he actually ended up purchasing a good amount of products.

He paused before he left and then pulled out a business card and slid it across the counter towards you. It said ‘Grillby’s Bar’ in swirling purple font, along with an address and times on it. 

“If you ever swing by for a drink, I’ll be sure to be as gracious as a host to you as you’ve been to me today,” he said, voice dripping with as much swagger and confidence as someone who had bought a giant purple dragon dildo should have. He said it was to freak out Sans, but when you told him that dildos weren’t returnable (for obvious reasons), he said that he wouldn’t need to.

You raised your eyebrow at him, “You own a bar?”

Grillby smirked, “Best one in town if you ask me.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Says the owner.”

He chuckled before looking at you over his sunglasses, “I have excellent taste, after all.”

“That you do,” you replied, dropping your gaze to his bag, teasingly, “I hope you enjoy yourself!”

Grillby winked at you, “Oh, I will. Though, if you swing by my bar after your finished work tonight, I think my night would be just about made.”

“I’ll think about it,” you replied quickly, and he sauntered out with a wave.

You rolled your eyes but grinned. Maybe you would stop by his bar tonight.

Maybe…you’d switch your stockings for thigh highs.

#Anon Friend #asks #requests #uf!grillby/reader