#marriages of convenience... love thag shit

[kemakosassa]

garlean high society was appropriately aghast when their rising star wedded some savage she had picked up off the streets of Bozja.

#kema art #ffxiv #minfilia warde #marriages of convenience... love thag shit

[thisdayinfavrd]

November 16, 2009

Obama says he doesn't tweet because his thumbs are too clumsy. Which is a polite way of saying he has a real job.   @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 154

Missing tweet #5750649539   @zolora (Theresa Couchman) – 132

I think the most exciting part of sex is when I turn on the light and the couple finally sees me.   @plaid_lemur (Nick Alias Plemur) – 111

Can anyone recommend a therapist who won't "freak out" when you get naked and cuddle with them like you do with your uncle?   @fireland (Joshua Allen) – 99

I wonder if turtles ever get confused while pooping and squeeze their heads off.   @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 79

Out-of-context phrase your wife can say while on the phone with her mother that can make you pay attention:  "Marriage of convenience"   @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 77

I think it's pretty clear who wears the pants in this family, though be it reluctantly and only because my wife tells me I have to.   @MrBigFists (Jonathan Sloan) – 77

I've heard you can dip a nipple in whiskey to soothe a colicky baby. Mine's pretty hairy, but it's worth a shot.   @thedayhascome (Josh Hopkins) – 75

Drove through Real America today. Those people like their Jesus, and have trouble avoiding animals on the freeway.   @joeschmitt (Joe Schmitt) – 70

ATM machine - Machine that makes ATMs.   @FakeAPStylebook (Fake AP Stylebook) – 66

If Life hands you a bowl of lemons, you look it right in the eye and say, “Fuck you, Life. I’m not your lemonade Wench.”   @Beef_Tongue (Comic Dick Cheney) – 61

Yes, fat girls need love too, but more importantly; fat girls need FOOD.   Write that down.   @ruthakers (ruthakers) – 60

I don't see race. That's why I don't like NASCAR.   @aedison (Avery Edison) – 59

The neighbor called the cops on me because he was so jealous of my new lawnmower and how good I look pushing it, wearing nothing but gloves.   @Zaius13 (Damn Dirty Ape) – 58

Caveman advertising:  COME THAG'S ROCK EMPORIUM. OUR ROCKS ARE ROCKIEST. YOU FIND BETTER ROCKS, ME SMASH YOU IN HEAD WITH ROCK.   @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 58

Do not combine a dash & a colon. It will open a portal to the Lost Tomb of Colonel McCormick. Also, it looks like a tiny dong.   @FakeAPStylebook (Fake AP Stylebook) – 55

OK, just one thing left to do on the pre-move checklist: "Put everything we own into cardboard boxes."   @scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) – 55

"I don't need more friends. You got friends and all they do is ask you to help them move. Fuck that. I'm old. I'm through moving shit."   @shitmydadsays (Justin) – 53

To reduce the risk of people talking to me, I like to carry around a cover of "Dianetics" to place over the books that I read on the bus.   @MrBigFists (Jonathan Sloan) – 51

My son said the F word but I forgive him because at his age he is too young to realize Friendster is gay.   @roughdiction (RoughDiction) – 50

#favrd is down