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liluloveslife-blog · 7 years

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This special post was the result of a very touching email I received from a man in Australia. It brought a tear to my eye as I read it and knew that I had to share it with you. He states how he has studied and searched spiritual awakening for twenty years and although his dedication for truth never wavered, yet he was often uncertain and insecure until last week when he read the Missing Link' script and, as he put it, he just woke up. Everything suddenly came clear to him.

The following questions and answers on the subject of the ‘Missing Link' are meant as a further elaboration on a subject that the mind normally refuses to see. If there is the willingness to find out what is true, then the grace of awakening can happen at anytime.

One point I would like to stress is this – never assume you know the truth if doubt and insecurity still lurk in your consciousness. Truth is freeing because it is not ‘something' attained but a clarity like living in a dark dingy room with stifled air when suddenly the door is flung open and fresh air and sunlight stream in. It is like waking up in the morning after a disturbing dream and suddenly realize, 'Oh, it was just a dream!"

The ‘missing link' statement says, 'Your greatest fear is what you yearn for."

This is the whole paradox of the confusing search. It is the reason why relationships are so complex. It is why people get addicted to drugs, alcohol and work. It is the whole drive for sex, weekend fun, and fascination with the unusual and thrilling. It is the reason for self-sabotage, for fear of rejection, for the thirst for power, money and thrills. It is behind all the contradictory behaviour of self-punishment, a deep sad feeling in our gut and our restless spirit. And, this is also why we crave what we can't have, why we pursue a lover who is hard to get, why we become fascinated with the unknown and yet so scared of it.

The average individual reacts unconsciously like a machine never ‘looking' at what is driving it, what is behind the strong urges and fears.

This is a vast subject and requires your diligence and dedication to what is real and lasting. In this newsletter will be included statements made by most people and pertinent questions answered.

Some very common problems occur due to the stubborn unwillingness to look at the truth as it is. For example, young women who suffer from addictive behaviour such as bulimia, relentless search for some elusive soul-mate, eating disorders, and deep unhappiness come from an attitude that says, 'I know what you are saying but I know that if I find someone to love me I will be happy." This self-delusion is so strong, in fact, so overwhelming that my words fall on deaf ears and they will have to ‘learn' the hard way, if at all.

All of life is a relationship with yourself! You are a conscious being and therefore consciousness is your reality. Every relationship with ‘another' is a relationship with yourself. How you feel about things outside of you are how you feel inside you – and how else can it be? Things outside you merely trigger what is already inside you.

Another touching email was from a man in Germany who wrote, 'I never realized before that what I was after, through the things I sought, was the truth of my being." It was thrilling to hear this because that was quite a recognition to make. And, it can only be made by a pure heart that wants only what is true.

The First Key.

This is the first key – to see clearly that everything you crave, want, desire or yearn for is a manifestation of your love of being. Some men have said, 'I crave speed" or 'I am preoccupied with sexy thoughts" or 'All I want is to make lots of money" or 'I just love roaming by myself being free." See clearly, here and now, that whatever turns you on is motivated by its greater but unknown drive. This drive is often hidden through thousands of expressions but it is always the same drive – for connection with being!

In order to understand something that goes beyond ego-mind, there has to be the willingness to look deeper into the source of the yearning. And, I am assuming that you do want to go deeper otherwise you are not reading this now.

Let's assume you say, 'All I want is to feel good, have a good relationships and just be myself." Now listen to those words and see what it is you are really wanting above all.

Why do we feel so good when we are with someone we can relax with and care for? Isn't it obvious that when you are with someone you care for, two things happen – first you relax your ego defences, your preoccupation with past and future, and most importantly, you forget yourself in ‘trying to be this and that.' In other words, you actually ‘disappear.' Did you know that in a moment of joy and laughter there is no ego? Yet, you do not realize that in your seeking of a good time you are searching for the egoless state. Paradoxically, the egoless state, when mentally contemplated, scares us to destruction. All fear of death and ‘being no more' is nothing but the fear of ego-death. Are you beginning to see how what you yearn for is scary to the conditioned mind? Isn't this the reason for sabotaging relationships? Isn't this why we punish ourselves through addictions? -- The average person is torn between the yearning for love and a deep unrelenting terror of it. The reason is simple enough once it is understood – true love is an egoless state!

Let us explore some common questions starting with this familiar, ‘I don't get it!' statement. Someone asked me this morning (third question this week):

'Your explanations make sense but I still don't get it?"

This is a common statement because what the heart yearns for, the conditioned mind denies. So let us explore it from its initial stage. Stop for a moment, right now, and examine who you are.

…You are a human being and we know that as a fact. There is very little we know about our humanness and much less about ‘being.' As a human being you have been ‘given' by life the instincts of survival, adaptation and identification. These three essential tools were meant for one reason only – to recognize the truth of your being. Without those tools there can be no possible recognition of who you truly are.

Our ability to identify is our gift from consciousness. Through the process of identification we get to know that we think, emote and know. For example, you identify with your past experiences, with your thoughts, with your emotions and beliefs. This identification is essential for survival and is called ‘memory.' Through memory we establish an identity (our ability to identify) and believe strongly that this is who we are. We accumulate millions of beliefs, memories and thoughts that become strong emotions. During this process of identification with name and form, we forget who is the one that is ‘identifying.' This memory, although absolutely essential for survival, had become our total identity (through its identification process). So now we find ourselves living in past and future completely missing the present.

We live in the present when we are occupied with things we love such as hobbies, sex, entertainment and fun. But then, even in such moments, we strongly identify with the ‘doer' of such actions and totally forget that it is consciousness doing it all. This identification with the ego as ‘doer' deprives us from this very NOW moment that is timeless and memory-free.

This timeless now (beyond the present activity) is so foreign to us, so unexplored, so unfamiliar that whenever we ‘enter it' first thing in the morning or when alone we experience an emptiness (because this ‘being' is unfamiliar to us – it is literary an unknown quantity). We feel loneliness, we experience a deep abyss in the center of our being. This feeling, which is so frightening to the ego, tries to cover it up with more activity, more search, more yearning for something outside us. We do not realize that what we are yearning for is this very unknown depth known as love. Every time we search for this ‘love' outside of us, we are unconsciously rejecting who we are. This ‘rejection' creates a restless search for something we can't have, but it is never quenched by anything we do, hopelessly hoping for some miracle that will rescue us – more sex, more money, a lover, winning the lotto, reaching enlightenment – all pursued from the idea of personal attainment never even receiving the slightest hint that our real liberation, our salvation, our freedom lies in the freedom from ego.

What is an ego? -- The ego is not a bad thing, it is merely the false belief that you are the past conditioning instead of a here-now being. The here-now is totally unexplored because it is beyond the present activity. For example, let's focus on this ‘now' as being beyond activity. Ask yourself this, 'Do you identify with your thoughts?" Of course you do. Now, the question is, 'are you your thoughts or is it something you are identifying with?" We might have never considered something very simple – we cannot be what we identify with, which is our memory, simply because we are identifying with it. Got it? You cannot be what you identify with because you are the identifier itself. You can say, 'I identify with my thoughts, with my past and my name because they belong to me." But who is this ‘me' that is doing the identifying? This is the crucial question. If you haven't grasped what is being said here, then do not go further or you'll get more confused. I am asking you to become aware of awareness itself (which is this very instant). I am asking you to pay attention to attention itself. It is through the ability to pay attention that we can pay attention to something. This means that you are NOT what you are paying attention to – you are the attention itself without an object. You are this ‘IT.' It is this ‘IT" which is continuously missed (the missing link) and therefore since it is this that does everything through us we yearn for it unconsciously.

We are searching for ourselves without knowing it. However, and this is the key point, whenever we hit upon this headless space we panic because it is so unfamiliar, so deep, so vast, so unknown.

Now here's the point to recognize – All fear (all of it) stems from this unknown quantity within us. It feels like death (ego death), it feels like an abyss.

This is why enlightened masters are rare simply because they were the few who plunged headlong into this abyss and found it to be paradise. All joy, love, peace, total fulfillment is this deep emptiness known as the Kingdom of God within.

'So, are you saying then that whenever I feel great fear or great sadness, it is this very centre that is being experienced?"

Indeed it is! This is why it is imperative to experience directly every fear until you see its emptiness within you, and it is only through this direct experience ALONE that you awaken to the divine already present as you.

“Then, every fear is really a trigger of that voice waiting for us to meet it?"

Through meeting directly every fear until it is played out without getting involved in its illusory story, is the direct road to the highway. Every escape from this fear is just another self-rejection and increased emotional pain. Allow yourself to study all the pain in humanity as well as yourself and it is all emerging from this self-rejection. This is why when someone we love rejects us it feels like death. We can play spiritual games and pretend we know something, but until we meet this fearsome demon and know it to be an angel from paradise, we are playing games.

What are some of the most popular questions people ask?

Women are often concerned about relationships and men. They often wonder why men are so insensitive, do not listen and withdraw without saying why. Men are not so concerned with women but they often wonder why women get so hysterical and why they are so dramatic in the relationships.

Life is dualistic between yin/yang, and, yang energy (male) is more intellectual and left-brained. Women are more emotional and right-brained. One is not worse or better than another. They need each other simply to complete and integrate the yin/yang polarity. Balance is achieved when there is the recognition of one's true nature, other than that is just confusion and more words.

Other popular questions are a concern about negative thinking and behaviour and the need to be in control of our mind. It is this need to be in control that creates the reverse. An unknown law is, The Law of reversed effort. It is only in Giving Away that we can truly have. Thus, if you are willing to let your ego die then there is nothing you couldn't have or be.

Why do we keep missing this link when all teachings tell us about duality as oneness (opposites that compliment)?

Listen to your question and you can hear the answer. We don't hear it because we really don't want to. If this ‘missing link' is allowed to filter into our daily consciousness then we become transformed. How can we suffer fear or loneliness when we begin to see them as our catalyst for growth and greater abundance. So, at this point, just be honest about your escape from the very thing you want most, and if you can confront that with honesty, then that very honesty will shift you automatically.

Why do I find this whole thing so hard to grasp when every teacher I have known has said it is the simplest thing in the world?

It is hard to grasp because it is so simple! For example, you can see everything around you and can touch it, sense it and even understand it – yet what is closer than even that? What is closer to you even more than your own breathing? Isn't it your very consciousness? (After all, you are conscious of your breathing). This consciousness (which just is!) does not belong to you as an ego but to everyone all at once. Therefore, in reality you are everyone! Do you get the point? It is this reality that the personal ego fights to the death and creates blindness to it. The ego cannot love because it can't understand oneness and therefore resorts to love on its own ego terms, which is – needy love, wanting love and possessing love. Now, isn't love a giving?

When I observe my fears I don't see their emptiness, I just get caught. What is it that I am missing?

Fear is the idea (belief) of losing something. Whenever you feel fear, which surfaces without notice, you get caught because there is still the belief you are going to lose something. The question is – how can ‘being' lose anything? The now-consciousness is complete, whole. This is where you have to be honest with your feelings and ask, 'What is it that I believe I am going to lose?"

You say that the centre of emptiness (the now) is beauty but all I see is fear and loneliness?

Everything that you experience is what you are familiar with. Now all I am saying is, be willing to stay with the fear and ‘play it out' until you feel relaxed again. You do not try to see the ‘beauty' – the ego can't see beauty for it can only see itself. However, when you are willing to look deeply by allowing it its little game of loss then the shift happens by itself. There is nothing more beautiful than having the courage to go beyond your mundane dead existence and see what is beyond past, future and beliefs by remaining empty of struggle and effort. When you have the courage to be STILL in the midst of pain and anguish, you have confronted the fear of death itself. There is no greater love than this.

Are you saying that the fear and insecurity I feel is my centre reaching for itself?

What a beautiful way to put it! The way you have phrased your question shows clearly that you understand the dynamic of reality. There is no sin or wrong in the world except a cry for the lost ‘kingdom.' When Buddha reached total awakening he called it Nirvana. Nirvana means the absolute extinction of all that we think is wrong or sinful and see it as ignorance crying out for wholeness.

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