#my friend knows how to Get Shit Done so that definitely helped tbch

[bulkhummus]

Wait bulk how did you replace the car? 😳

LMAO IT WAS NOT THE WHOLE CAR SORRY it was just the bumper which was honestly a feat in itself, story under the cut

let me set the scene--- it was close to midnight, i was driving down from upstate from visiting my friend to help her move into a new apartment and like put together furniture and hang stuff etc etc I'm gay, and i was in my moms car because it handled better in the snow than mine.

im thirsty. im exhausted. its snowing. i am not thirty minutes from my friends house i just left, so i decide to make a pit stop before i really get on the road. i pull into a 7/11 to get a red bull and the biggest water bottle they carry. i come back out get into my car, and absolutely do not put the car in reverse and instead put it in drive and fly into one of the cement poles they've got in front of some stores for precisely the situation I'm describing to you presently.

so the front bumpers BUSTED, im chugging redbull, chain smoking bc i thought i was hot shit and calling my friend explaining, shes yelling about the redbull at midnight and not about my bumper. i drive back to my friends, praying the whole thing doesn't fly off as i go. i call my mom, tell her the roads are too bad and ill try again in the morning. the next morning arrives. bumper is still busted and was not miraculously fixed overnight. I GO ON FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE AS A LAST RESORT while we lay in a heap in my friends bed defeated and eating left over New Apartment Cake, and we find a bumper. Prepainted which means MAYBE just MAYBE i can get out of this without my mother ever finding out. We had to drive an hour, we listened to mbmbam I'm pretty sure at the time, and we arrive at some guys HOUSE. we buy the bumper in cash EXCEPT IT DOESNT FIT IN THE CAR because my friend had stuff in her car still from moving. so the guy helps us tie the box to THE ROOF. at one point we ran over one of the notorious ny state potholes as you do and we nearly lost it.

we eventually get home, she made me drive because she was too nervous with it hanging over the windshield etc etc. and now SHES on the phone calling her upstairs neighbor who is at work, and mind you who she only vaguely knows because they smoked pot one night together but we're desperate to pull this off, because she remembered that he said someone he was related to was a mechanic (his uncle) and can he do a rush job yadda yadda yadda

anyways i meet this guy named Arnold. its a private repair garage. he's like this really tall really skinny looking guy that looks more like a farmer than a mechanic. he laughs when he sees my busted up bumper and the box tied to my friends car. i explain to him that my mother will never entrust anything to me ever again ( my mother was very strict growing up and has OCD and it was a lot for her to let me even take it) and he laughs and says he can do it bc we're friends with his nephew (i never met his nephew). I also ask him to make sure everything is still working and if its a little broken but fine than its all good. i think my raw and honest desperation really won him over and he nods.

it takes a little while ofc, he had other stuff to do first, and we're in a town we haven't been in before so we go have lunch, walk around some stores, ignore phone calls from my mother, as you do. i come back. arnold, light of my life, doesn't charge me a rush fee because we chatted about tattoos and he said i reminded him of his niece (I'm nonbinary but for arnold ill be his niece if it meant no rush fee) so i tipped heavily and was on my merry way, brand new bumper.

nothing in my life had ever worked out so coincidentally like it did with that bumper.

my mom never found out.

#my friend knows how to Get Shit Done so that definitely helped tbch #ask tag #anon