#my interests. passions. just forgetting stuff relating to ^ i'm not TOO stressed bcs i look forward to these games n books n ideas n all c:

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi Em, I was wondering if you can help me figure out my mbti please. First of all I want to say I'm glad you're still around here bc I left for a couple of years and now can barely find active typology blogs. A few years ago I was very chaotic and unhealthy and you told me to come back to typology when I had more life experiences and my brain was fully developed so now that i'm 25 years old I'm back. I think i'm an NFP but i'd like you to confirm that or suggest another type please. (1/7)

One of my biggest struggles during my adult years has been career wise. Right now I'm a new grad nurse and i chose this career because it was supposed to give stability plus i was told it was one of those careers that were going to keep growing in demand. But it burned me out too much and i hated every second of it. I only stayed in it because it aligned with my values of helping people for a living. Now i'm thinking of going into debt to study a second career that is not so stable but i'm passionate about (psychology) bc i have something to fall back on financially anyways. I have other options like going into business, law, linguistics, and i can't make up my mind. All the feedback i've gotten from others is that i'm not much of a practical person. I thought i was just having some sort of midlife crisis but apparently is not normal. I think this suggests lower Te? (2/7)

Another thing that to me suggests low te is during my college years I struggled a lot with discipline and organization. It took me a lot of effort to take up my gpa, had to follow a lot of studyblr tips lol and strict rules to achieve that. I think I have Fi because my values are very important to me, to the point that I disrupt the environment, I'm the talk about abortion in family dinners ruinning the mood kind of person. And although I love people I struggle with being inauthentic and pretending to like someone when I don't (3/7)

I'm very much of a textbook introvert, shy and get drained when spending a whole day with a group of people and need too much alone time. But also in relationships i've struggled with being codependent and it sounds contradictory but i can't bear to be without them more than a week, I enjoy speaking out about my ideas and even in my "alone time" I contact internet friends to talk about the things that interest me (4/7)

The function that I struggle relating to is Ne due to lack of creativity and brainstorming abilities. I know Ne is more than that but I think I use it more in an unhealthy way? Like daydreaming to escape from my problems, being unable to stick to only one life path like the career example I gave above, feeling stressed after too many years of routine and wanting to leave everything behind. Oh but when my boss asks me to come up with creative ways to talk about STDS with my patients, i can't really come up with anything. I enjoy abstract conversations (about philosophy and spirituality / esoteric stuff mostly) and get bored in normal day to day conversations with my peers. But in my job i prefer something that is practical and doesn't require much brainstorming (5/7)

I think I have lower Si because I struggle a lot with letting go of the past ways of doing things, very catastrophic thinking of "I tried this before and it didn't work so it's not going to work now". Also trouble forgetting people, way more than normal. I like routines and I get stressed when my environment changes too much. But i'm not exactly a structured person, I'm up to last minute plans (6/7)

Finally I don't think I have Se just because I'm very disconnected from my environment in a extreme way, i'm the type of person that falls a lot due to not noticing obstacles in the way, not noticing when the shower is steaming hot until many minutes later when my skin is burning, etc. And Ni thinking is very linear for me, I feel like I very much have a monkey brain and can't stick to only one idea. Can you please help me? I hope this was not too long thank you! (7/7)

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So I must admit, this is still pretty chaotic and it feels like it focuses largely on weaknesses, rather than strengths, which still makes you difficult to type. While I am (still) not a mental health professional, my first thought is whether you've ever been tested for ADHD or similar just because you talk about wanting a stable, practical, uncreative job and enjoying routines, but also being forgetful, unaware of your surroundings, and not being pragmatic as a person. While it's entirely reasonable for a high Ne user to want stability in what they do, healthy high Ne would likely gravitate towards a stable job with some degree of brainstorming involved. Jobs like nursing, in fact, are often good for perceivers because it involves a lot of variety and spontaneity while still being a dependable career - though naturally not all perceivers would be happy as nurses.

I do think feeling seems reasonable, as does high Fi, but I am actually stuck on Se vs. Ne since either way it would be unhealthy. It almost sounds a little like an Fi-Ni loop to me - your feelings informing your idea of what your life should be without strong external input, an aimless desire for spontaneity but difficulty engaging with it mentally. But I would also at least take a hard look at ADHD, depending on how intensely your life is impacted.

#answered #1ndecisives #mbti

[dalkyeom]

📌— Weekly Chan ; SKZ break!

This announcement has been a long time coming but I wanted to come here and let you know that I’ll be stepping away from creating skz content for the foreseeable future.

Tbh I didn’t know how to tell everyone that I wouldn’t be drawing for them anymore. Maybe, because I found myself comfortable with the community I found myself in but my passion to create fanart for them dwindled over the past few months. I held on thinking this is a fluke, but I think it's time for me to explore other interests of mine. I wanted to stay but I found myself frustrated with feeling like I'm putting myself in a box. honestly, it was the lack of traction or how hard it was for my work to be seen that was a big factor in wanting to leave. I stand by the fact that feedback is vital for an artist's motivation to continue making the things they do. The lack of it made me question if it was even worth continuing to draw for skz bc while I love them a lot, not having my works reach a larger pool of Stays was pretty taxing. also the fact I was hidden in the basement did not help :(

Sadly, my love for Chan couldn't soothe the creative frustration I was in. So I guess it's just time to go, step outside for awhile, and explore new worlds.

As a staytist, I want to thank you for liking my art 🥺 and I hope they were able to give some comfort or healing. Most of them were made out of sheer love for the group bc for a long time Stray Kids were my home. They provided me happiness that I wanted to share too. I’ll never forget reading the nice tags and the nice asks you’ve sent my way! Thank you for welcoming me to the fandom even though I don’t interact as much.

So I want to say, please love your content creators. editors, writers, fanartists— the whole nine yards bc without them you can feel the lack of an integral part of the fandom experience. If their works make you happy and you want to see more from them: share their work, send them love and asks, comment, engage— anything that can help share their work around bc we spend so much time creating things out of love for free! Let them know you appreciate the work they’ve put into the things they love. The least we ask for is to share works we spent lots of time on.

Thank you for reading! I hope I can still see you around while I make art for other interests. Under the cut will be about Weekly Chan updates and a more in depth explanation/ goodbye letter/ final thoughts since the important stuff has been said.

Weekly Chan has 19 more portraits to go before I can say I’m officially finished with the project. So, I’ll be working on those on/off because more than anything, I want to see it done. Weekly Chan started as a normal dedicated fan project for Bang Chan (mainly out of Chanrot) that became a source of wanting to spread warmth to fellow stays much like how Chan does weekly through Chan’s Room.

I made a goal of 100 portraits by his birthday, and since I’m close to finishing it I’ll be seeing it through 💖 as a gift because Chan has done a lot for me, like an extra booster when I feel like I’m doing things alone. There is no definite end date since I'll take my time finishing it. He is, after all one of the stars I cherish the most.

Tbh aside from the whole art-related stuff. Around March, I think I was already finding myself detaching from skz. It was like a gradual loss of motivation to keep following them. I'm sure if you were a follower of my @/mocimori blog you've heard me cry over it a couple of times. Mainly it was a culmination of many things but the speed the community was going (lovestay > oddinary) and over saturation made me feel what I felt towards Genshin twt's fast paced consumption of new content.

getting tickets to their Maniac Tour was what broke the chiamel's back. I was tasked to secure tickets so my fam and my friend can watch the show with me, but I underestimated how stressful it was. No amount of preparation could prepare me for ticketing day. The fact that there was no membership pre-sale made it 10x more stressful it was as if we were on the hunger games as involuntary Katniss Everdeens at the quarter quell. It was that bad. I ended up sick from the preparation stress and the crushing weight of not being able to secure even 1 ticket. Eventually, I did manage to secure tickets when they open sales for Newark D1 but the exhaustion I felt stuck to me like tar.

I think I was just hoping to go back to the way it was. The ticketing left a bad taste in my mouth and omo, this is a fault of mine but messy fandom stuff will slip in my radar even though I try to keep my feed negative-free. Then I heard about how Staytists were being treated by fellow Stays (reposting of art w/out consent, rating fanart on tiktok — basically just disrespectful behavior) I had a hard time trying to reconnect afterwards.

Also this post is getting way too long so I shall tl;dr what was going on with my Chan ult'ing journey but eventually the sparks just faded out. It was probably a combination of so many things and the pressure of wanting to draw Chan on a weekly basis, sometimes 3-5x a week that it just… took its toll on me…

it came to a point where I would cry over Chan at random hours of the day. I missed him, I felt guilty bc suddenly he was no longer the center of my thoughts. I felt guilt bc I knew people knew me as that Chan fanartist. It was silly, how I let a kpop boy affect me this much but I held him with the highest regard. He was my star; out of all the biases I ult'd he had the most special position and was a symbol of hope. Having a hard time relate to him, feeling so detached made me feel bad. As if the security blanket was ripped away from my fingers.

sometimes, I still cry over him. It's no longer as bad as that time I cried over him for a week or two straight. I reflected a bit because yeah, it was a bit silly of me but when he was the source of all my hope when I felt like I had no one— even if it was that small of an interaction, I felt like what I'm feeling is valid. So, yeah, I just feel like it's ok for me to let go now. I think it was more of my fear of leaving behind a community that made me want to stick around. Other than the pressure, I just feel like throughout the last few months I lost what little creativity I had bc I wanted to follow trends, I had to box this outlet for the sake of accuracy and aaah idk it was just not healthy anymore.

i'll still support the Kids in my own way. At the end of the day, they're still my ults and I love the music they make. But I wanted to write this so you won't worry wth happened to me and the skz art. It's not really a goodbye but maybe, a see you soon!

thank you for everything!

#amg I know :( cb is so soon too! #tbh I wanted to hold off until after the first few days bc I already planned I wont be doing much this cb #but it’s tumblr lol so it’s like early announcement for you #also maybe bc I feel like no one would care that much compared to twitter #the chan branding is very strong on twitter so I’ll do it after I post my Maxident piece #chia.diary #Long post #naur fr I feel like the stuff under read more is very long #But I want to say I love my moots very much! #my stayblr friends I met along the way I love you! Thank you for making my time here enjoyable