#nd i wish i would have enjoyed and partaken in it more when it still felt good

[nerice]

thinking abt how different my life could’ve been if i had ever been encouraged to talk abt the things i love

#tonight's a night sorry abt incoming tag rambles but like #for one now that i've got my asd diagnosis it's like *puts on hat* same problems but now i'm legally allowed to say i have em #and just been doing a lot of thinking #like back when i talked a lot abt oc details on here i actually made friends via that n imagine if i had actually posted art too.. #i still barely post art bc it's not 'polished' bc i don't know what im doing #but actually posting or just. not agonizing abt it as much would have been so much more beneficial #also i know tumblr/ask culture is dead to certain degrees (def not as alive as it used to be) #but who am i to judge seeing as i no longer send ppl asks anymore either #last few years everytime i started talking to someone they ended up being weird or made me uncomfortable so i just. stopped #:/// #idk idk just thinking #i can still do all that. i can get comfortable w existing in whatever space and capacity again. #im just nostalgic for a certain kind of online experience tonight that will never happen again bc the game has shifted away from it #nd i wish i would have enjoyed and partaken in it more when it still felt good #talking specifically 2013-2015.......... #imagine how diff my experience would have been if i hadn't switched accounts everytime i got a certain follower number bc it made me anxious #also thinking abt creators i used to follow that just Disappeared nd where they are now. if they're ok. if i'll ever see their work again.. #anwy this has been tag rambles #elia txts