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#no I havent cried rlly but almost every day I feel like I cant breathe n tht my chest is collapsing in on itself
cosmobrain00
·
15 days
Text
well🙂
#*visibly trying not to burst into tears* hey guys whats up
#surprise surprise another absence bc my life can’t stop getting WORSE evry day it seems haha!
#so. now who’s gonna tell me how u deal w the loss of ur fave person n the one person u were 100% certain truly loved u no matter what
#who also inspired u to be an artist in the first place n who's been there for u ur ENTIRE life
#like idk how to start dealing w it lmao. one min ill be basically okay n then the next ill feel like smthing just tore a chunk out of me
#looked outside just a sec ago n thought “oh so she'll never see my progress in art. oh ill never get to make another painting for her”
#n yk part of me just wants to pretend like none of it happened honestly
#like “hey that was a fucked up dream oh well let me call [x] n tell them I love them”
#n I dont fucking KNOW how to deal w this grief n idk whats normal n what isnt
#no I havent cried rlly but almost every day I feel like I cant breathe n tht my chest is collapsing in on itself
#no I cant talk abt it but i can’t draw like I used to n thinking abt my last art project makes me wanna throw up
#< considering it was going to be a present for her tht she'll never get to see. Haha so funny right guys
#fuck I need to get so entirely drunk over this now RELAPSING TIME BABY!!
#anyways. will try to be normal tm n talk to ppl again instead of isolating as a way to cope n sorry to ppl who have msg'd me Ill be back
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