#no one tell me to stop eating the coleslaw i made the coleslaw so i'm gonna eat the fucking coleslaw even if it kills me

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

me texting my mum today has just been 

‘morning mum! just ate coleslaw and my upper lip got itchy and swelled up! weird!’

‘hey mum, just had some more coleslaw for lunch! this time my bottom lip got itchy and swelled up!’

‘had a real good dinner but the coleslaw made BOTH my lips get itchy and swell up. i look stupid. like bad lip injections. hope your dinner was nice!’

i think she probably really loves my messages

#no one tell me to stop eating the coleslaw i made the coleslaw so i'm gonna eat the fucking coleslaw even if it kills me #i'm literally so confused though #my coleslaw had three ingredients #carrot cabbage and mayo #i've eaten carrot and cabbage my entire life no prob #and i eat mayo every now and then but like?? this doesn't usually happen??? #lmao i have no fucking clue why it's happening #BUT I'M GONNA FINISH THE FUCKING COLESLAW LEAVE ME ALONE #i made so much of it too. it's fine. if it kills me it kills me