#notably this is also bard's fault almost entirely for pulling me out of my funk and inspiring me and adding great color to it

[remyfire]

Had a houlihawk meltdown tonight and didn't wanna lose it, so here we are.

I always feel like I love houlihawk the most if they never get the suburban home with the white picket fence, but if they get to be mobile in a freedom-centric way outside of, like, Margaret's childhood of Army transfers—just them renting instead of owning so they can travel all across the country and see new things and reconnect with their friends. Ending up in New York City for a year, mischievous, making out in elevators going up through these tall tall buildings as a race to see how stirred up they can get the other before the elevator dings at their floor. Going overseas, seeing Europe, touring France, Margaret playfully singing "C'est Magnifique" as a little street band plays for her and Hawk sweeping her into a passionate kiss as the crowd that had gathered around them applauds her performance. Just playfulness, adventure, discovering who they are in these whole new ways.

I had the image of Margaret who is terrified to ever get married again and Hawkeye who is still so fearful of marriage just. Agreeing that they don't want to get married. They want to just be together until they might not want to anymore. But I got emotional about the idea of Hawkeye giving Margaret one of his mother's old necklaces as a kind of symbol of commitment all the same and Margaret finding the finest watchband for Hawkeye, and them wearing those symbols year after year after year.

Imagining them spending a year or two working in free clinics around an overcrowding city, providing international aid as medical staff, always hand in hand, never one without the other when it comes to providing care. Spending a few years in California renting a room from the Hunnicutts while Hawk, Margaret, and BJ work tirelessly through the AIDS Crisis even though for all intents and purposes they should be thinking about retiring from medicine.

One day an 80-year-old Hawkeye is reading his newspaper and just tips his head back and yells, "Hey, Margaret?" and she shouts back, "Yes, darling?" and he goes, "D'you wanna get married tomorrow?" and Margaret is silent for a moment before she yells, "Sure!"

Which is when I realized that it would be the year 2000 if they were driving down to the courthouse while in their eighties to get married and that the Backstreet Boys would come on the radio on the way and Hawkeye would be trying to sing I Want It That Way to her while she's laughing her head off about how he's ruining the lyrics. And I exploded.

#tonight i was possessed by the power of silly love #notably this is also bard's fault almost entirely for pulling me out of my funk and inspiring me and adding great color to it #but idk if she wants to be tagged but know this would not have come to me if not because of her #hawkeye pierce #margaret houlihan #houlihawk #mashposting #mashblogging #my writing #long post