#obv gender is way more complex than colors and each persons internal experience is going to be unique and u can’t summarize it with

[criticalrolo]

personal gender thoughts after a wild and crazy day of therapy and self reflection: I don’t really resonate with the idea of being “not a man or a woman.” there’s a lot about me and my life that has been informed and shaped by my experiences and positioning in society as a woman. however, there’s also so much I want to explore about the parts of me that feel more masculine and attach onto the concept of “man.” for me personally, gender feels more like I want to be “a woman and a man.” there’s a reason I’ve got my pronouns listed in order as she and he, and then “they” at the back, if that tracks?

I don’t know if that makes any sense or is reasonable at all, but I guess my personal experience of my own gender is wanting to Add to it instead of moving someplace entirely different. the metaphor I’ve used before is that being a woman is the bare apartment that I was born into, and exploring gender now that I’m free to do so is moving boxes of masculinity down from the attic and filling up the space with things that I’ve always owned but was never allowed to put on display. And some of those boxes in the attic contain more femininity too! But it’s the freedom to pick and choose and combine and add that resonates the most with me, over moving to a different house entirely. Anyway, those are my thoughts. I’m gonna cut my hair shorter and then dye it pink

#the term nonbinary is also. hmm. I don’t even know how to explain it but sometimes idk if it fits me entirely?? #my gender experience is much better described by Butch and Lesbian and he/him lesbian if that makes sense #to drag a very dated metaphor out of storage: if men are blue and women pink then I feel like a pink purple blue gradient #obv gender is way more complex than colors and each persons internal experience is going to be unique and u can’t summarize it with #one single color #but i definitely feel. PinkBlue as a gender and not necessarily. Green #does that make sense???