#oh god and also rebgurb vanessa is not a real cop in my canon

[murdaughter]

@goodjobsport said: "look at us, back where we started."

a sad, crooked smile crosses emily's lips. "we don't have to go in if you don't want to." the pizzeria looms over them, holding a different meaning to her now than she ever could have imagined. it had once been an oasis, then a place of decrepit memories, of fear and family and wistfulness and guilt. but now this is the place that she died. the place where her father killed her. she's alive, sure, but she hadn't been, for a few moments. that counts, she thinks. horribly, it makes her feel better. makes her one of his victims in a way that feels more real. like dying is a rite of passage, like she owes it to the kids, the other victims. and she does. when emily looks inside herself, she knows she does. "i just don't want to bring abby there if..." a deep breath shudders out of her. "if the kids are gone. and if--" she chokes back a wounded sound. when she speaks again, her voice is impossibly small. "if he's there."

it's a fear she rarely acknowledges. with the kids, it's a little easier. the thought of losing them had been painful, but with the pizzeria so completely out of reach, she'd had no hope of seeing them. emily has elected to believe they've been able to move on, to rest. she hopes so dearly that that's true, that they haven't had to be without her, that they aren't in pain. but if her father is there... her only hope is that he went with the suit. that his unfinished business is died to that damned thing and not the place itself.

the police–– the real police–– had been involved while she was comatose. mike had been the one to explain most of it to her; how with the revelations she'd provided about afton's crimes, a more thorough investigation had been carried out. the place was mostly cleared out, but the building still stood and technically belonged to her now. it's been months since the trial, all of which is a blur. it almost feels like everything must have happened to someone else–– not her, not emily, but vanessa. like someone she was in a past life.

standing here, though, it's all too real. back where we started. he isn't kidding.

#for reference! vanessa starts going by emily Officially once she's awake from the coma #she's been kind of crafting the identity around emily for a long time? like it's just her #but it started when she was like in her teens/tweens as like a way to be like this is who i am without my father #if that makes sense? but she will still be okay with mike and abby calling her vanessa #tho they will be among a privileged few #oh god and also rebgurb vanessa is not a real cop in my canon #i just... do not think it scans lmao! #im also just gonna uh. skate over her criminal involvement regbuire. based on some googling im gonna go ahead and say she like? was? let of #which realistically would i think never ever happen bc of the severity of the crimes? but idk idk #this is also tumblr rp so we're just gonna run with it #also im sorry for all this shit in the tags i just feel like its helpful context! #child abuse / #abuse / #dissociation / #just to cover my bases #child death mention / #child death ment / #god sorry for this NOVEL rip #ptsd / #goodjobsport