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blankmogai · 1 year
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alterhuman flags! (normal and simplified)
umbrella term for identities that are alternative to or outside of the common view of humanity; common forms include otherkinity, therianthropy, plurality, otherlink and constelic
we know there's a few of these already but we wanted to throw our own design into the ring! we've worked on it for a while and finally got it somewhere we're happy with so we are Finally posting it... the intent for this is to also serve as a template if someone wants to create "[x] alterhuman" flags without further specification ^_^ we hope you like it!
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Home for the Holidays
The Traitor & The Bear Jew Sequel: Requested by @svonschroeder​
I'm not Jewish, and know pretty much nothing about Hanukkah, I am so sorry if I fuck anything up, please let me know, educate me! :D <3
@owba-chan @inglourious-imagines @war-obsessed
Let me know if you wanna be tagged in these!
It was early afternoon. The pale winter sunlight drifted through the bare tree branches, over the glistening white snow beneath your feet as you marched toward the hideout.
When you, Hugo, and Omar left on your mission, the ground was covered in a blood red and golden carpet of leaves.
Each of the basterds had been divided among the whims of the wind that day, on separate missions.
You didn't know who, if anyone, would be back at the hideout in the middle of the forest by then. You really hoped everyone came home.
That was was made you most uneasy...
The idea of someone not coming home...
You couldn't wait to see him again.
You were dying to see Donny. You never wanted anything more in your life, other than to end the war with your own hands.
After what seemed like an eternity between Hugo's blaring silence, and Omar's goodnatured rambling, you made it back. Hugo may have been one of your oldest friends, but...that didn’t make him any less a basterd.
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But, after that eternity, you made it. Your hideout in the middle of the freezing forest seemed almost like an oasis...
The only reason you knew it wasn't a dream was because, as usual, you could hear the boys arguing from a mile away.
You let your pack fall with a thud, stood with Hugo and Omar by Aldo, and raised your eyebrow in confusion.
"So, uh...what's going on?"
Aldo turned back, grinning, happy to see the last of his basterds had returned. "Wellll, from what I picked up," He took a sniff of tobacco, "Tonight's the last night of Hanukkah."
Omar gasped, "ALREADY?! I MISSED IT?!"
Before anyone had a chance to respond, he stuffed a handful of scalps into Aldo's hands, repaying his debts little by little like everyone else, and trudged to the rest of the basterds.
Hugo watched in silent, stoic amusement, while you turned to your lieutenant, "And they're arguing because...?"
Aldo shrugged, and commented, "Because they’re basterds, darlin’."
You smiled a little, "Good point."
Hugo smiled briefly. If you blinked, you missed it.
He would no doubt be annoyed with their ranting in a minute or so, but aside from you, the basterds were the closest thing to family he had. It had been well over a month...and it was nice to be 'home.'
"WE'RE USING MATCHES. WHY WOULD WE USE LIGHTERS?!"
Simon shrugged, "I DON'T KNOW! THEY’RE JUST EASIER TO FIND!"
Donny rolled his eyes, "HOW do you light a LIGHTER, with ANOTHER LIGHTER?!""
"Look, " Wicki sighed, rubbing the inner corners of his eyes, completely tired of the boys being...well...boys. "Use a lighter as shamash, and then-"
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Donny sighed, "Genius, old man! I said that fifteen fucking minutes ago."
Michael scrunched up his face, "No you didn't!"
"Yeah, I fucken did,” Donny crossed his arms, and turned to Omar, “tell him, Omar!" Donny did a double take, "Omar?!"
Omar grinned, "Hey, boss!"
If Omar was home, that meant Hugo was home... because Hugo promised Aldo he’d take care of the youngest basterds if anything happened to him...
And Hugo wouldn’t come home without his best friend.
So you were definitely back.
"Y/n?!" Donny ran to you.
He wrapped his arms around your waist, lifted you up, and swung you around, burrying his face between your shoulder and neck.
He'd never quite held you like that before, never so desparately, and lovingly...
He would never admit it, but for a few hours he was genuinely terrified.
 You, Hugo, and Omar were the only ones that weren't back yet, and until he saw your face, he was able to breathe again.
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You, on the other hand, were literally being smothered with  his love. You also had a recent run in with some nazis, in which you bruised a rib or two... (It was the same reason Aldo stared in awe at the sheer amount of scalps that Omar had thrown into his hands moments before...It was also why Hugo was so pleased with himself at the moment...)
You wheezed, "Donny, let go! I can’t breathe!"
He set you down, smiling, not having caught on.
You clenched your teeth through your pain until it subsided. You would never let him know he hurt you, even unintentionally... He didn't know. It was ok. 
His first encounter with you, he almost killed you, and you knew he still hadn’t forgiven himself for it. It was a misunderstanding, nothing more and nothing less... But Donny would never forgive himself if he ever really hurt you, and you knew it.
Besides, you were so happy to see him, the pain seemed to be drowend out by your happiness...
The basterds often teased him for being soft around you, but he didn't care. You were home, and that was all he could ask for...
Now that everyone was home, the real fun began.
So much so, that Aldo had to tell everyone to quiet down some, or else "all 'em nazi's over the goddamn Alps gon' know where we are!"
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You...were still somewhat clueless.
"So...what's...what's all the fighting about, Donny?"
"Well, uh..." He sighed a little, embarassed that that had been the reason he didn't notice you were back earlier, "We haven't seen each other in weeks, what do you expect, doll?
You nodded, "Uh-huh, and you called Wicki 'old man' because...."
Donny pouted his lip a little in frustration, knowing that unlike the boys, you had some respect for your officers.... Still, he tried to argue, "He wasn't listening! And Mikey over there-"
Michael perked up, stepping away from the ongoing argument, and attempted to defend himself, "
"Look, in the heat of the moment, lighters just sounded like_"
Hirschberg rolled his eyes,  "Question..."
Simon crossed his arms, "Yeah, do you even have a lighter?"
Aldo sighed, "Oh boy..."
You were visibly confused... Donny noticed that, and took you in his arms as everyone else was busy either arguing or laughing. "It's the last night of Hanukkah, doll."
"Oh..." You nodded, as you witnessed the pending battle of wits unfolding before you, “Cause that explains everything...???” 
Smitty was laughing, and then realized you really didn't know a thing.
Aldo was amused, having witnessed the same exact argument a year before.
Hugo was....Hugo...
You were clueless. 
Donny smiled a little. It wasn't often that he knew something you didn't....
Moments like this were ones he waited for.
"You know what it’s about, right?"
You nodded tentatively...
All the basterds started to shut each other up, about to be more amused by you than each other's insults and rants.
Hirschberg glared at Omar, who was just starting to get into the argument, "Do you ever shut up?!"
"But I-"
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"The goy's gonna some somethin' shut up!"
Omar huffed and rolled his eyes, "Fuck you, Hirschberg."
The basterds looked to you for an answer, and you murmnured "....Oil???" That was all you really knew.
You knew it had something to do with candles...which the basterds didn't have on hand...
Your one word answered seemed to fuel the basterds' argument like the oil itself.
Wicki, Omar, and Hirschberg started going back and forth...
Omar nodded, defending your answer. "Yes."
"...no.."
"yeah!"
"no."
"nope."
"Yeah?!"
Hirschberg smirked, holding up his gun, "It's about war!"
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Smitty stopped playing with his lighter, and stepped in for a moment, "It's....it's both..."
All three basterds looked to the youngest basterd, "Shut up, Uti!"
He looked down, pressing his lips together, forcing back an entertained smirk, "Ok..."
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Andy emerged from the pit where the basterds often carelessly chucked supplies into... He seemed to have missed the entire thing.
He smiled when he saw you, then looked back at the seemingly annual argument. He distinctly remembered that after the last year's...spat....Wicki bought candles for this exact reason....and forgot.
There was a reason Donny called him ‘old man.’
Being too amused by the distant squabbling, Andy went off on his own to find them. A quieter, but strategic basterd, he stood by you, watching in awe at how long the squabble had gone on at that point.
"Hey Andy." 
"Hiya, kid." He smiled and waved,  a bundle of candels in each of his hands.
Wicki caught sight of it out of the corner of his eye, cursing himself for not remembering earlier.
The debate died out into laughter just in time, as the sun began to fall beyond the bare trees and grey clouds.
You stood with Hugo and Aldo, arms around each other's shoulders, in solidarity with your Jewish brothers. The three of you weren't Jewish, but you were all in this war together. Being caught celebrating Hanukkah that night was a death sentence thousands of miles around...
It was more than just a war then.
Hugo normally never would touch anyone until you seemed to come back from the dead. And...yet, it was unlike him. But there, you were all soldiers. Basterds. 
Brothers.
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The rest of the basterds each lit a candle, oldest to youngest....
Almost without any incidents.
But of course, you were the basterds...
And somehow at the very end...Omar’s hair almost caught on fire.
As the laughs faded, and the prayers ended, the candles burned down, and the campfire started, you all sat around, eating together as the basterdized family you were...
As every other night, canned, processed meat and stale bread was passed around. It was the usual food you had together, bland, barely edible. But somehow that night was special.
It was nice to be home...
Even if it was cold, and the middle of war, somehow it all felt warm and safe.
You were huddled together around the fire, the burning alcohol, smooth with the sounds of laughter and crude but funny soldier’s stories.
Donny sat by you. His cool hand slipped under your coat, wrapped around your waist without any of the basterds seeing...
Or so he thought.
As everyone else carried on with the jokes, and told stories of the past few weeks, he explained what "Real Hanukkah would be like, back home...Back in Boston..."
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You smiled, not understanding everything completely, but still hoping that some day every one of them would see their homes again...
It made you happy when he mentioned people, neighbors and old friends, clubs and shops from his hometown. He told you so much about them before, it was almost as if you could picture it.
After losing the land you once knew, it was almost like his home was yours...
And Donny knew that.
He hoped telling you all about it would bring you some kind of hope for a future...and maybe a future with him, "Usually we have stuff like latkes and sufganiyot." Donny was amused with your kind but helpless smile.
He knew that shy, slight purse in your lips and almost unnoticeable arch in your eyebrow: You had no idea what he was talking about.
And he loved it.
Usually, it was the other way around. Especially when you said something to Hugo and inexplicably made the man with stone cold eyes laugh...
Anyway, Donny was absolutely melting at how confused you seemed.
He smiled a little, leaning slightly into your side, "They're kind of like donuts, they’re fried-"
Omar noticed that softness in Donny's eyes.
No one ever saw it before you came along...
And they loved jabbing him about it, "Get it, y/n? Cause oil..." And Omar, arguably loved inciting arguments more than anyone else in the camp.
Aldo knew him, and knew what that basterd was up to. He narrowed his eyes as he took a bite from his sandwhich, and turned to him,  "Omar...Keep your fuckin' mouth shut."
"But-"
Aldo smirked a little, leaning a bit closer to Omar so you and Donny wouldn't hear. He'd noticed that look in Donny's eyes. It was subtle, but he knew his men well enough to know Donny was in love.
They may have been in the middle of nowhere, in the dead, blistering cold of winter, but when he was with you, Donny was home.
Aldo knew that.
He smiled warmly as he glanced at you and Donny, then back at Omar as he warned him, "Let 'em kids have their moment."
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He took another bite, still smiling fondly.
There was no telling how long the war would go on.
But for that night, Aldo felt like they were all somehow home...
And in that moment, Donny's eyes fell upon the dimming light of the candles. He looked around at his brothers in arms. There was a stack of scalps carelessly strewn on the snow. Everyone was still a bit grimey, bruised and bloody from the long, divided missions.
But that was war...
And sometimes, the war made Donny wonder if miracles really existed...
By chance, a few months before, you happened to fall right into his arms.
"By chance..."
Donny looked at you.
He smiled, his grip around your waist tightened a little, clinging onto the brightest light in his life.
"Yeah," He nodded slightly to himself, thinking, "miracles do exist..."
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