#only think saddle and tack make contact. strict guidelines and harsh rules to govern me.

[neverendingford]

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#every time a character does the whole “talk softly and reassure the dangerous person” thing while also walking ominously towards them ughh #it drives me absolutely nuts. like. you're trying to talk them down from paranoia while you're threateningly walking towards them? #someone does that to me and I'm shooting them at least in the leg or stabbing with whatever makeshift spear I've manufactured #anyway. criminal minds is getting real annoying with the whole pathologizing of people. #like. guy shows signs of being very good at torturing people and they go “ah yes.. a pure sadist” or whatever the fuck #I get that it's shitty crime drama stuff but still. ugh. #I just. I fucking hate when people take the obviously wrong route when talking to mentally destabilized people. #like. people are shit at talking to suicidal people. are shit at talking down irrational fears. people are shit at talking down paranoia. #I hate how people don't fucking know how to interact with freaks I hate how people don't know how to interact with me #everyone acts on their own level without understanding what it's like in any way #and so everyone just projects their own reality onto you without performing any sort of empathy or exercising any sort of understanding #and I want to scream so fucking loud #you're all living in a cotton candy world and your words disintegrate in my humidity #and it's so fucking lonely #and my mind has been clear this past week. the autistic need for pressure satisfied by this prescription pushing on my brain #and I can feel the cogs turning. the wheels and pins and linked gear trains and drive shafts and traction band motors. #all the parts of my brain churning around and I can't get close because the heat from my motor makes my hood hot to the touch. #I burn your hand as you try and press your palm against my flanks. #only think saddle and tack make contact. strict guidelines and harsh rules to govern me. #when I am free I buck and I shift gait and I drag you under too-low branches #also. compared to Hannibal I can basically listen to criminal minds as a podcast. none of the visuals really contribute anything to the show #like. feels very shallow