#or how sex is used as a tool of control in almost all axis of oppression

[calypsolemon]

it would be disingenuous to act like there aren’t opinions I held as a young ace about the sort of issues the ace community face that I disagree with now, and there’s attitudes held in factions of the community that I once defended that I now believe to be kinda offensive (partially due to the fact that I also realized I am gay and trans), but like.... I will always be extremely critical of people who assume those bad opinions are core to the ace identity, rather than caused by either misunderstanding from differing queer experiences, or general ingrained bigotry from like... existing in Society. There are absolutely times when aces can be hostile and bigoted towards other sexualities, due to the false perception that those sexualities are more widely accepted than they are. But like, there’s equally times when queer allosexuals perceive aces as privileged in areas they most definitely are not. It’s almost like the tendency to punch down instead of up is incredibly common amongst all minority groups, bc we all live in a world where its easier to vye for the temporary acceptance of our oppressors than it is to fight them. That’s not an excuse for bigoted behavior, but targeting the identity itself as if its the cause is playing the same game. Nobody serves to benefit from community infighting except cishet people.

#ace discourse #only using the tag bc i constantly forget to trigger tag these for someone i hope this works for u #also i reflect a lot on opinions i held when i was younger #and oftentimes its less that i disagree with them on the whole but rather i just had the wrong idea about like #what was causing the problem #or the wrong approach to a solution #you know all the nuance and shit #like assuming my sense of alienation came from individuals expressing their sexuality #and getting mad at that instead of looking at how sex is literally used to sell us shit #or how sex is used as a tool of control in almost all axis of oppression #by either oversexualizing or desexualizing people against their will #those are the things that contributed to my sense of isolation #not people empowering themselves by taking control of their own sexualities #but its easy to feel a sense of isolation and alienation and know you can't do anything about these big axis of oppression #but look at some rando blogger talking about sex positively on tumblr and get mad they're not being ace-inclusive or some dumb shit #i wont pretend that those attitudes were never encouraged by some members of the community bc they most definitely were #but there's stupid people in every group #and equally there's always been asexual people who have fought against those attitudes and had a more nuanced understanding #and its frustrating to like #have this ignored. to have people assume that the problem is just that all ace theory is bad and based in queerphobic rhetoric etc etc #and not that like a bunch of dumb 15 year olds still figuring themselves out and feeling isolated might make some uninformed decisions #of who the real cause of their problems are #and say some dumb shit