#oskie overshares

[stlthanaboi]

i have a thigh gap?? not sure when that happened

very small unpleasant thigh gap but :0

#surprising since my legs b so thicc for no reason #oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

sorry for my hiatus, thought life was good for a sec 🤡

#oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

nurse *taking my blood pressure*: oh i'll use the smaller cuff

me: 🫣💕☺️🥰😍😝💖😜❤️‍🔥🤪

#oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

hit my gw this morning! fingers crossed i dont gain or at least dont gain tooo much today so tmrw in the morning i'll finally be under 120!

#oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

oops read my bfs texts w his boss and she sent him a text at like 6am just now and i had the convo open, he has read receipts on

now im gonna be nervous all day about it shit

oh well i literally feel so hopeless w my relationship maybe its already over

#oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

the good things is when things get shitty in my life the motivation to lose weight is the only thing i feel and in turn i end up feeling happy when the results show? maybe its a false sense of happiness but i'll always take that over the fucking emptiness i've felt most my life

#oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

NSFW vent

i trust my boyfriend to not physically cheat on me but i think i'm slowly losing him to his fucking female boss..!!!! i feel like she wants him (based on texts ive lurked) and maybe he is being innocent rn but he seems like a different person in his texts w her - like happier. my convos w him are usually very dry, and he hasnt fucked me in over a year and its sparingly he even asks me to suck him off (cuddles, hugs, kissing too....unless i ask) like tf is wrong w me this is why im starving myself!!!!! (we've talked about it he says its a confidence issue i wanna believe it and i DOO but i need to get fucked like YESTERDAY, fix ur confidence bro u know i think ur the hottest shit ever i need to know ur not thinking about someone else!!!) he wants to get dinner w her sometime after they work (theyre off at 12:30am) he told me it was gonna b w a group of coworkers and it was someone elses idea but his texts look like its him only asking her out....we never go on dates haha. also last night when she drove him home they were sitting in the car talking til like 1:30, i saw them parked out front of the house. like this shit would mean absolutely NOTHING to me if i felt confident and secure in my relationship like i used to, but i'm doing all i can do for his and my own confidence but i need a little something back to know its still real, fuck!!!!! im so hornYYYY FOR LOVEEEEEE AAAAAAAaaaaaaAaaaaaaaa

#oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

11lbs down from my sw (since buying my new scale a month ago)

3.8lbs to go before i'm back to the last weight i was at when i fainted and decided to "recover"

im taking things slower and doing things differently this time to prevent binges/fainting so the number isn't dropping as fast as the last time i was this deep into my bullshit, but it feels much easier to restrict now. not sure if thats just bc my motivation is super high, or bc im allowing myself some things id be scared to eat before or what but i'll take it.

#i used to only feel safe eating vegetables and soup/salad #now ill have a 130 cal fibre1 granola bar w chocolate on it and thats all i need to not pass tf out and feel satisfied for a few hours lol #a veggie diet just made me so fucking hungry all the time and always craving food i wouldnt allow myself #also caused way more binges #mine #oskie overshares

[stlthanaboi]

im just done fucking eating. no amount of hunger is worth the amount of regret right after.

#mine #ed vent #oskie overshares

[stlthanaboi]

idk what my ugw is but i wont stop until i can see all the bones in my back

#mine #ed but not sheeran #oskie overshares

[stlthanaboi]

slowly but surely getting closer to underweight

#cant wait till i actually look like it lol #mine #oskie overshares

[stlthanaboi]

hahahah i wish my boyfriend wanted to touch me. 🫠 we starving boys .

#oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

damn i fainted for the second time in my life last night, but this time i apparently had a little seizure while unconscious. my first fainting incident i felt like was from restricting too hard all the time, but this time around i'm not sure. like yea i'm still underweight and didn't eat yesterday before i fainted but i wasn't even feeling like starved or anything?!?? and in general since i've relapsed i haven't been restricting as hard as i used to (still eating less than a normal person should, but eating way more than my ed used to let me). idk if this makes sense but yea. i hope i'm not developing a seizure disorder or something.

#oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

i am full (of regret)

#havent actually eaten today but my wntire weekend was p much one long binge lmao #oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

kinda been not caring about food this weekend bc of whats been going on. just trying to enjoy things rn while everything seems like its going to be good finally. i still need to be at least 110lbs lmao but i'll get there in time. i'll be back on my bs on monday.

#oskie overshares #mine

[stlthanaboi]

my bf and i r trying to work things out, i actually feel rly happy and hopeful. some ppl in my life are gonna be disappointed in me for staying w him but the people closest to me that know our relationship are happy for us, that matters more to me. my heart feels right right now..

#oskie overshares #mine #hes the only one i want