#our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol

[crescentfool]

with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

#lizzy speaks #hello everyone. i know that there are *checks calendar* still 20 days left of december and 2023 #but i've had a lot of strong emotions and feelings i've had to sort through as i've been thinking about how 2023 went for me #so a lot of what i've written here comes from the perspective of someone in their early 20s #it's like... a crash and burn from when you were a teenager thinking that you know everything #and realizing how big the world is and how many responsibilities there are #all while a feeling of overwhelm looms over as you try to sift your way through the world and adjust your understanding of it #for me i've definitely had an underlying thought that 'you should have your shit together by now why aren't you there yet' #and it's! not motivating! at all! to think that way. and it's made me more than ever want to be a friend to myself. to extend a patient- #kind voice to myself that reminds me that others are also trying to navigate these feelings and to accept that i'm not going to have an- #instantaneous understanding of how one goes about adulthood. and neither will they. even if they look 'put together.' #like... these people have also undergone similar stresses and along the way figured out how to navigate through that space #and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i #some shape or form and that them living... being here.. is proof that we shall be fine in the end and that we will move past what plagues- #our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol #but hey if we are little guys who are living on planet earth for the first time we shouldn't condemn ourselves to an unrealistic standard- #of going through life and being able to instantly do everything 'correctly' and know how everything works #i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things. #in the midst of a very tough week for me i was tempted to say that 'nothing happened this year it was not productive' #but then i was like. that's. objectively not true if you just look at other things. also theres worth in life outside of 'productivity' #...i think i passed 20 tags at this point. but like. my favorite thing about 2023 was meeting so many cool awesome people! #who would've known that funny lil squid game could bring so many connections and friendships i cherish! #thank you so much! for being a part of my life and changing me for the better! for giving me many fond memories! #and i'm very grateful to anyone who supported me and my art this year... for sticking around even though i wished i could do more #it means the world to me knowing that there's proof that i exist and have touched someone's life in a positive way! thank you! truly! #ANYWAY. happy early new year. i hope everyone can nourish a friend in their head that extends acceptance and patience to themselves #as we try and make sense of the world together. there will be things that we don't understand yet! but one day we will! and it'll be like #wow! look how far i came! i'm okay! i'm alive! yipee! thank you for reading this post i made to get my feelings out! have a nice day!

[teehee-quirky-kaito]

"Class, settle down." The teacher Ms Anderson told the students. She and I stood in front of the whiteboard, facing at least 20 seven-year-olds. "Today, we have a new student. He's transferred all the way from Japan! Now, why don't you intoduce yourself, just tell us your name and your quirk."

"My name is Kaito Kirigiri." I said quietly. Even at 7 years old, I didn't like being put on the spot so much. "Um, my quirk is called Hope."

A girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. "What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure, actually." I admitted. The whole room suddenly rolled their eyes and turned away from me, everyone started talking tot their friends. "Um, but basically I can make an orb of white light from my hand and if it touches someone, they are really happy."

I was proud of myself for getting their attention again, but it wasn't a good thing.

Only 3 weeks into school that year, a quirkless girl made me really mad. I accidentally used my quirk on her in an attempt to shut her up, but I didn't realise the severity of it.

One minute she was pestering about my 'weird quirk' and the next she stared at me with immense fear behind her eyes. She was suddenly anguished, devastated, frozen in place with despair.

Another boy nearby gasped, pointing and saying my hair was black all of a sudden.

The girl was only 7 like me, and as I heard my teacher tell my parents later that night, "the girl had never felt so much pain and suffering before then and it hit her like a proverbial truck."

From that point on, my quirk was called "Discord". Everyone, including my own father and former friends, had treated me like I was some sort of villain. "How could he hurt a defenseless girl without a quirk?" Itd split up my parents, my mom left my dad because of how he reacted for years to me and my quirk. I'd even been put into counselling for a few months in the 7th grade because I'd been consumed by my own despair for a while, because of how everyone looked at me. They all looked down on me like I was a monster, a villain in the making, all because I couldn't control my quirk as a 7 year old. It was ridiculous to me.

But I had always had the dream of becoming the top hero. In our society, every country had their top heros. Japan had Deku, the UK had Mr Cane, Canada had The Candyman, and the USA had the amazing Captain Brave. But the one thing all the top heroes had in common... they got the job done and done well, and they were for the most part incredibly likeable. I'm definitely not likeable, not by a long shot. And even here in America we get news of the biggest events involving Japanese heroes, since that was where the World's #1 hero Deku resided. Yea, I don't care much for him or most other heroes for that matter. Theyre unimportant to me. None of them are my inspiration for being a hero.

My motivation is my best friend. My favourite person in the world, Kiyoko Higuchi. She isn't much but she's all I've got. She transferred to class school from Japan in the 3rd grade, and she was so confident was she announced herself. She's just dazzling, she can light up the room in an instant and make even the most depressed person laugh. She was the first person to try to be my friend, even after I told her about my weird quirk.

And she was the first person to accept me, the only one to ever tell me "you'd make a fine hero with that quirk."

That's all I can think about as I submit my enrollment form to my teacher at the end of 8th grade. That's what I think about when he embrasses me in front of the class on purpose by informing me that about 4,000 kids in the Midwest region alone apply to New Hope

Academy every year, and that they have an 3% acceptance rate.

Yea, thanks Teach, like I don't know that already.

But one glance at Kiyoko's grin across the room and my anger towards the teacher is bearable instead of overhwhelming. I simply tell him I know and move along.

-

"Where'd you apply, Kiyoko?" I ask. We're sititng side by side on a sidewalk bench and waiting for the city bus, but itll be here in around 20 minutes so we're also eating sandwhiches Kiyoko's dad makes for us.

"I'm applying at NHA, just like you." She said proudly.

"I thought you didn't like heroes?"

"Oh that was a front." She chuckled. "I just dont like that they're so mainstream, I guess. I actually kinda like a couple, like Spitfire and Guardian Angel. Oh and of course Blue Wolf is my favourite, but Jade Stranger is a very close runner-up."

I listened and smiled, she could be such a dork. "You're such a fangirl," I said.

She shoved me playfully, talking shout heroes more for a few minutes.

Then, when things were quiet, I found myself asking, "Do you think I'll be a good hero?"

"Of course, Tekitai-sha!" She lightly smacked the back of my head, like she always did, and laughed. "That's all I've been saying for the past 5 years, isn't it? Youll make an excellent hero, the finest anyones ever seen."

"You know I hate that name," I complained, even though it didn't. It meant 'antagonist' in Japanese, and it was something shed started calling me as kids sarcastically, as like a 'oh wow hes such a bad person hes an antagonist'. I didnt really mind the name so much, I just didn't want her to see me blush. She always picked on me when I get flustered, but I couldn't help but get embarassed when she said stuff like that. Just the fact that she respected me and supported me this much, the fact that she seemed so proud to be friends with me, was still so wild to me, even 5 years later.

"Maybe we'll be accepted together." She told me.

"Maybe." I smiled lightly.

-

A/N:

Sorry for the accidental tense switch ahhh I do that a lot ugh

Hey also I know this is a short chapter I dont like how short it is either, but i cant exactly change much without it getting irritating to read lol

Words: 1094