#outing myself as a nasty ass freak with this post w/e

[psychoticwillgraham]

putting this kink discussion post under a read more bc im kinda embarrassed about it

TW: talk of sexual gore

gonna out myself as more of a freak with this post: anyone else got a super niche, and I mean super niche, kink that they can’t find jack shit for? bc im making my own weird ass au (for u already know what ship) just so I can even make content for it.

ok, so y’all know that episode of billy and mandy where the brain eating rock alien literally eats brains by using its tentacles through the ear? yeah. uh. that’s my most niche kink, all thanks to that show. that specific episode gave me horrible nightmares as a kid, but when I rewatched it a few years ago, i realized that it was uh. really hot 😬 like the concept of someone not being able to think for themselves and having the monster/eldtrich being make them do whatever they want the person to do and they just have to take it? and they clearly enjoy it? yeah 👀

that kinda goes with my hive mind kink where characters have this done and are at the complete mercy of the monster (but it HAS to be consensual in the first place, so its like a mutual satisfaction thing), and unable to stop it, basically being a glorified fucktoy 👀👀 OH and they control the person’s thoughts so literally, head empty no thoughts.

so im doing an au (that’ll be posted on my whump blog first before I even think about putting it on ao3 bc it’s gonna probably be the weirdest hannigram fic on there and the most extreme, but I might as well let my freak flag fly) where will is cursed with immortality and I mean true immortality where he can’t die as long as there’s at least a piece of his body left, so to truly die, the heat death of the universe would have to happen, yeah lmao

and then you have hannibal, who’s the last of his eldtrich kind and needs to find a suitable vessel to carry his young (yes will is a trans man in this au just bc I want him to be), so he finds out about Will and sets off on trying to court him. he realizes pretty quickly that Will’s Different, and decides to test that theory by straight up stabbing him through the heart with a hardened tentacle (or w/e idk yet), therefore revealing himself. they get to know each other and obviously Will isn’t gonna out hannibal, so they begin a highly fucked up, very messy (gore wise) sexual relationship.

now when I mean gory, I mean gory. bc if you can’t die no matter what and have a kink for said gore, and ur boyfriend is an eldtrich abomination who’s a cannibalistic serial killer, wouldn’t you take advantage of that and constantly die during sex in the most fucked up and nasty ways? i mean I would, but I’m just a nasty freak. and the aforementioned kink in the beginning of this post is a thing in this as well. so the au is just an excuse for me to write creative gory sex scenes and see how nasty I can get. honestly I probably won’t even post certain parts of it unless a few people want me to.

i rlly think that this might be the limit for a lot of the fandom fic wise so I’m prepared to get shit for it. that’s why it’s going on my secret (only if I don’t give u the link) whump blog. so yeah that’s that.

#ash’s fic ideas #outing myself as a nasty ass freak with this post w/e

[schlifting]

i beeped.

So, I’d like to call this post “Lift Lessons”. Because a bitch made a few major mistakes today that could’ve ended really badly if I wasn’t a nationally ranked actress and a naturally lucky human.

Here’s the story.

I went to the mall after school, in search for some summer clothes. I didn’t really have a plan. THIS WAS MISTAKE NUMBER ONE. Always, ALWAYS have a general plan of;

1. what stores you’re going to hit

2. what your strategy is going to be

3. general security info

I decided to go to a store I had never lifted from, didn’t know the layout of, and didn’t know the security measures of. Can you see the red flag waving?? Because I sure should’ve.

(The store was M a d e w e l l, which isn’t really important but good to know for context).

So— I grab a bunch of items, some duplicates and whatnot, naturally shopping like a normal human. I get CSed right as I walk in but not again. Pretty good signs. Staff seems generally distracted and teenaged.

Except for this one lady. She was roaming around the dressing room area, folding clothes and whatnot, and when I asked if I should just walk into a dressing room when i’m ready (a general tactic of mine to seem friendly and confused, the least suspected customers imo) she glared at me and was like “um, yeah.”

So, I’m only including this detail because I think she freaked me out into making further bad choices. I don’t actually think she suspected me in the slightest, I think she was just being a dickhead. Either way, it should never make you not nervous when an SA is nasty.

So, I get into the dressing room (I picked a messy, unpicked up one, which was reassuring). I planned on taking 3/10ish items. I start my routine; checking the price tags for rFIDs, feeling the clothing for hard tags, and then rolling clothes compactly into my bag.

Let’s pause for a second, for some more mistakes made AND obvious foreshadowing.

I made a 2 key mistakes in this process;

1. not body concealing

2. NOT CHECKING EVERY. GODDAMN. WHERE. ON THE CLOTHES.

See, I had gotten kind of confident behind the curtained dressing room. After checking 2 items of clothing from head to toe and not seeing any rFIDs or tags of any sort on those 2 items, I didn’t check the third item, a denim dress, thoroughly. I checked the price tag, and just figured I was okay.

THIS was my biggest mistake.

Its also worth mentioning that I did not have the appropriate purse with me for lifting multiple pieces of clothing; it’s a hippie bag that is cross body, which I usually can get about 2 normal sized shirts in without it getting huge, so 2 shirts and a dress wasn’t great for me. I will now be investing actual money into a purse that is medium, structured, and pretty nonextraordinary.

Anyways; I exit the dressing room, ask an SA if I should leave the clothes i didn’t want in there, and she said yes (i made a joke like “ok good haha, i didn’t wanna be the dick who made a mess in the dressing room!” which she laughed at). The grumpy SA is still in the corner, and she says something to the nice SA. I don’t hear it, but the nice SA responding “what?” freaked me the fuck out. IN THIS MOMENT, I should’ve turned back and made an excuse like, “OH! Forgot to try on this thing!” or “Did i leave my phone?” ANYTHING to allow me to go back and dump. I still don’t know if that comment was even about me, but it’s better to be paranoid than caught.

But, I walk out, saying a friendly bye to the nice SA and as I’m walking out the door I’m feeling good until I hear it. The dreaded towers. They’re soft, and I don’t actaully even process the noise until I’m a few doors down, and then my heart sank into my chest.

I freaked the fuck out. I sped walked to the N o r d s t r o m a couple stores down, and asked them if they had a bathroom, feigning an emergency. I went into the bathroom and broke into a panic attack, and then locked myself in the stall to frantically check my clothes. I checked the same two items again, not thinking of the third for some reason because I assumed they were all treated equally. I didn’t see anything.

I got myself together and left Nord, but i beeped AGAIN. My actress self turned around, pretending to start unzipping my purse and went “UGH! This is the third time today, I genuinely don’t know what’s doing that!” And a customer behind me goes “you’re fine girlie, go ahead” (which was weird. is she a lifter? or is she just assuming the best in me? we shall never know)

I get into my car and drive away so fast. I pull into a church parking lot, my current location, and check the clothes again. And then... I found it. On the stupid denim dress, an RFID sewn onto the washing machine tag.

I felt so stupid. This trip traumatized me, and I am still shaking. I just couldn’t ever picture actually getting caught until now.

Please. Take this stupid ass story as a warning. ALWAYS check everything. Never lift in a weird mindset. Be prepped with some acting skills. And always trust your gut, even if it’s overreacting. Better safe than sorry.

I’ll post the haul from this scary ass trip once I get home and calm down. Safe lifting, everyone.