#people will just shun us and be like ‘here’s how to spot and avoid narcissists’

[gale-in-space]

“Narcissists will butter you up and shower you with compliments in order to lure you in so they can abuse you!!!” No, we heavily compliment people because that’s the kind of stuff we wish people would do to us. I gush over people and try to be specific with my compliments because it's how I want people to treat me. I desperately want to be seen and to feel loved and appreciated the way I try to make others feel. Why is this so hard to understand

#npd #the thing in quotes is stuff paraphrased from actual articles i've read btw #but here's the thing. we’re not evil masterminds #we are people who were not sufficiently loved or supported growing up #and so we are trying to make up for it now #idk what good recovery looks like because instead of putting effort towards trying to research effective treatments for npd #people will just shun us and be like ‘here’s how to spot and avoid narcissists’ #so i guess the best thing we CAN do is try to be vocal about our needs #even if other people think it’s annoying or attention-seeking or what have you #edit: i do want to clarify. i don't know that a steady flow of compliments or praise is a good thing #i don't KNOW if that's the answer to the colloquial 'narc crash' #because as i said: no one is putting any effort towards figuring out how to actually treat npd #i feel like an end goal for treating someone with npd would be to help them learn to live with some discomfort #and to develop ways of being self-sustaining so that a multitude of compliments and praise aren't necessary all the time #but that seems impossible at times because. again. can't emphasize this enough. no one wants to research how to treat npd #we're just kind of left to fend for ourselves #we're like opportunistic omnivores in a way #filling up on what we can when we can because we don't know if we'll always have the opportunity to refuel again #even if it is detrimental in the long run #okay i'm done now fr lol