#plus three cofacilirators i am scared of / intimidated by for various reasons. im going to be sick soooo genuinely. i HATE this 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[pepprs]

june 27th give it up for june 27th

#purrs #delete later #sure would be an INFINITELY more special and auspicious day if there wasn’t going to be • thunderstorms all day • a budget meeting • two #back to back orientations where i am going to have to take on 2X THE FACILITATION ROLESSSSS 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 bc we’re doing that now. LMFAOOOOOO #<- and by that i mean splitting up the facilitation so instead of 4 ppl shari ng responsibility for talking AND doing logistics there’s 2 #ppl talking and 2 ppl doing logistics. and mutuals need i remind you that facilitating this specific session requires being extremely high #energy and mobile and getting ppl ‘hyped’ and there are 383729473 reasons why that is difficult for me to do in front of 100+ new students #plus three cofacilirators i am scared of / intimidated by for various reasons. im going to be sick soooo genuinely. i HATE this 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #anyways yeah. today is my one year anniversary and also my first day as an fte so. 🫠 and one year ago today was pretty awful too like my #first day was actually extremely extremely bad and i cried like multiple times every day that week bc it kept getting worse so. love how #things have changed so substantially since then and the things that triggered me on that day aren’t an issue anymore <3 (they are very much #still an issue it’s just the specific people involved have changed bc half the ppl working here including one of my dearest closest #mentors who was deeply involved in that situation have left the university and now it is utterly unrecognizable and every day i wake up in #an alternate universe i know deep down i am not supposed to be in and yet im trapped in it irreversibly and this IS my universe now. lolll 🥰 #)) also ik it’s stupid to still be grieving over this but like. the entire way it all went down + the fact that it even did in the first #place and the STAGGGERING consequences of it. are kind of insane. every new development makes me feel more and more like im living in a fake #reality and nothing that is happening is supposed to be happening and im dreaming it all but it’s a bad dream. and idk how to accept #that this is NOT. a dream and that what happened happened and now i have to live with it and stop curling in on myself like a prey animal an #and isolating myself from everyone i love and taking every single conceivable situation badly. like tfw da therapy isn’t working 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 #anyways i need to go get ready and practice the fucking 16 page facilitation guide 🙄 see u on the other side lol