#ppl who know me well. will precede their compliment on my appearance w a disclaimer like 'and i know u wont really appreciate it but...'

[britneyshakespeare]

man it really bothers me when ppl who know pretty much nothing about me call me pretty. it’s like yeah what does it fucking matter.

#one of my girls at my job has some... problems in common i dealt w as a kid #im thinkin about it #tales from diana #man. kids who call other kids fat. shut the fuck up #they should NOT be raised to think unsolicitedly commenting on ppl's bodies is acceptable. #not to like. call myself gorgeous or smth but puberty treated me well. compared to what i got as a child. #and im generally used to it now. in a weird way. i dont value my appearance but im aware of how im perceived. #i can very much tell when im being treated like a Pretty Girl wo the person having to say outright 'youre pretty' #usually when it comes out im like 'yeah. i know *you* think im pretty' and i think abt it all the time bc. how devastating would that be #for a man to hear. pretty sure it would make one disintegrate. #this that beat that make ya bump ya bump oooh i give ya whatcha want #yeah i resent hearing almost anyone tell me what *they* think *i* look like. to the point where my mom kinda teases me for it #and i really don't like it. #ppl who know me well. will precede their compliment on my appearance w a disclaimer like 'and i know u wont really appreciate it but...' #that's how you know i appreciate it. when you know i won't appreciate it. #it's like wow. you're signaling you actually value my opinions and feelings beyond your own perception of them? that makes it ok #but u'd have to know me on a deeper level to know my ambivalence to certain kinds of 'kind' comments. bc obviously i dont just snap at ppl #anyway that doesn't really matter. i don't like any compliments that are delivered like the complimenter is doing you a favor. or whatever #and usually when ppl try to make you feel attractive that's what they're doing.