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mbti-notes · 5 months

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Anon wrote: Hi there, and Happy Holidays! I hope you’re doing well. I’m having trouble determining my type - I’m currently torn between INFP and INFJ. You seem very well-informed on Jung’s theory, so I’d like to ask for a type assessment from you. My main conflict is what feeling function I use.

For extra info, I’m 21F. I have ADHD-PI, social anxiety and depression, as well as some trauma, which may affect how I present myself as well as my level of health. I think, regardless of which functions I use, I use them in an unhealthy manner. It’s also worth noting that I don’t have a lot of life experience due to a sheltered upbringing (over-protective parents and relatively lavish home life meant that I never felt the need to demand much from the outside world).

INFP:

Dominant Fi:

I do have a one-sidedness when it comes to my values (if you could call them that, I’m really not sure), deeming types of hobbies, fashion, ambitions, and as such subsets of people as superior or inferior depending on what I think of them. My judgment affects how I see others in a big way. For example, I’ll judge people for dressing in a way I perceive to be “lazy”, because “do they not realise how they look to other people?”. Then, I’ll assume that they’re not associating with beyond common courtesy. Obviously, I know this line of thinking could seem haughty of me, so I don’t express this to others.

I place a lot of value on sophistication, intellect and manners, and expect the same of everyone else as well. My values mostly revolve around my expectations of how people should behave. I’m easily disappointed when I fail to notice these values in others, because my perspectives are based on what I truly believe is best for humanity at large. I recognise that this could be seen as imposing, and I never directly call people out for behaviour I dislike - I would rather persuade them to my side diplomatically.

I’ll be honest, the main reason I believe my feeling process to be introverted is the fact that I just can’t connect to my country’s culture, and it makes me resent it. It’s so heavily focused on everything I have no interest in; drinking, sport, nights out, TV. There’s a worrying amount of anti-intellectualism beginning to prevail too. It bothers me to the point that I want to emigrate, just so I can find likeminded people elsewhere. As such, I have difficulty seeing any values I hold as objective (as much as I wish for them to be universal), when I’m so disconnected from the objective world around me.

Inferior Te:

I lack the fundamental ability to implement solid solutions to my problems. I’m generally very inefficient and dependent on others to help me with this, such as homework in the past or filling in applications. I do struggle to fathom how people navigate the business world and the likes so seamlessly, and I often find myself admiring their ruthless nature. This is probably because my lack of natural assertion has led to problems within my personal life.

I become extremely cold and judgmental under stress, and only care about myself. I tend to self-centredly blame everyone but myself for the issues in the world, including me not being able to identify with those around me, and desperately want to “correct” them. This could be construed as black-and-white thinking in terms of morality. I rely on external standards to amplify my self-image, such as high grades in the past. Despite my coldness, I can flip to being ridiculously sensitive when someone makes me feel inadequate or beneath them, and it can lead to me being snappy with others.

Auxilary Ne:

I believe I use Ne as an escape from the world. I’ll often turn to fantasy as a way to cope. I have used this to procrastinate more pressing issues that I didn’t want to deal with, preferring to live in my daydreams where everything is easier. While I do have very complex worlds in my head, this can be enriched by things outside of it too. For example, I’ll admire the dynamics of a friendship group in a show, and wish for that for myself. So, I form an ideal group in my mind. This serves as a double-edged sword, because while it can be meaningful inspiration for me to implement in reality, it can also lead to bitter disappointment if these ideals can’t be realised.

However, Ne can cause larger issues than just procrastination. I will envision only negative outcomes to situations, leading to complete inaction. Eventually I lose hope altogether, thinking there’s nothing in the future for me, and reject the world altogether. My mind becomes more narrow, only choosing to stick to very specific situations and trains of thought.

I often turn to external forms such as music to identify my feelings, seeking to find myself within the feelings and expressions of others. I then wish to embody the images I find within the song, in hopes that I can discover my identity that way. This also gives me the opportunity to explore different perspectives, which can often help liberate my typical one-sidedness.

Tertiary Si:

In terms of Si loop, this tends to manifest in the form of craving my childhood back. I wish I could lose the responsibility on my shoulders and just go back to playing imaginary games and being completely oblivious to the world.

I also have a tendency to become closed-minded, immediately shutting out other people’s ideas that don’t “fit” in my own head. I would rather take no action at all than risk making the wrong move, because the regret would just be paralysing. My past experiences tend to drastically influence how I perceive things, and it’s difficult for me to wrap my head around how someone can see things so differently to how I do. As such, I cling onto my perceptions of the world heavily.

INFJ:

Dominant Ni:

I have always been known as an idealist, and someone that lives in my head. My mind was always my escape from the harshness of reality. Ever since I was young, I’ve developed deeply personal mental images and narratives, and purpose has been my driving force. When I was a child, I had myself fully convinced for years that I was a fairy queen doomed to live inside a human husk to test my fortitude for my “kingdom’s” sake. Even now, I always need to have some sort of abstract ideal propelling me forward.

The future has always been my main priority in life. Even if I don’t have a concrete idea of my life’s trajectory, I always know if something does or doesn’t fit into it. Others around me have complimented my insightfulness and my ability to predict what will eventually become of a situation. This can be anything from the plot of a story, to a relationship, generally anything can lead my mind to spiral towards a single-minded prediction.

However, this has been a large source of pain and isolation throughout my life. When I’m at my lowest, I make sweeping generalisations such as “everything is meaningless”, “everyone is so boring”, “every form of media I consume is shallow”. It makes me feel self-conscious, wondering if my expectations are too high, but I can’t seem to let go of my ideals regardless. I’ve been noted as a very detached person, taking my inner world too seriously.

Inferior Se:

The mundane has never interested me. I’ve never taken the world at face value, which does lead to warped perceptions and dashed expectations at times. I honestly tend to look down on those that exhibit more impulsive, hedonistic traits. I’ve been told that I need to “let loose” more, but I just can’t fathom doing that. I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to be in full control of themselves and their presentation at all times. I can’t envision my life or the world without meaning, and as such, I unconsciously reject anything I deem surface-level or crass. This does tend to overlap with typical Se traits.

However, there are times where I fall into Se traits during stress. I blurt out things I don’t mean to say, hyper-focus on insignificant details to the point that I lose sleep, and indulge myself needlessly in sensory pleasures, such as food, or deliberately delve into more shallow forms of communication, such as social media. A lot of the time, I obsessively seek out people or outside circumstances that prove my personal narrative about a concept, in a way to prove it to both myself and others. I expect and take from the world, but ultimately provide nothing.

Auxilary Fe:

As probably highlighted in my Fi section, I do exhibit some resistant behaviours towards Fe. Generally, any area will come with stereotypes of those that live there, and I don’t fit that mould at all. I’m quiet, prudent and abstract-minded in comparison to what’s expected. It’s a complicated experience for me, because as much as I resist what a lot of common behaviours represent, another part of me wants to beat myself up relentlessly for not fitting in perfectly. I often hope that I’m just viewing people negatively and tarring everyone with the same brush, so I will find my crowd eventually. I have never once rejected the concept of following objective values - if anything, it appeals to me greatly. I just think I have been extremely unlucky with the ones I’m expected to follow. Rather than following a greater purpose or meaningful relationship, I feel stuck in the monotony of my home.

Honestly, my default state is still to go along with everyone else’s wishes and forget my own feelings. It got to the point where I questioned if I could feel at all sometimes, and I’d lose my sense of identity altogether. I can’t bear any kind of conflict and I’m always trying to harmonise with those around me. The resentment I mentioned has only blossomed within the last few months, when I realised that the environment can’t always play to my preferences and strengths. It came to me like a flash of lightning. I often find myself wishing I could “unsee” the issues that led me to this constant frustration, so I could lose myself again and just comply. At least that sort of mindset could be seen as romantic or pitiful - my feelings now are just pure pettiness, and deliberately targeted at those I seek validation from.

I adjust my behaviour quite a bit to suit the emotional atmosphere, both to avoid exposure and to be seen in a positive light. I know what I can and can’t express, maintain etiquette, and try to carry myself well. As well as adjusting, though, I do try to have some sort of influence and warp the atmosphere to suit myself as well. I always strive to be a positive influence on others, and tend to view myself in the light that I want to be seen by the world at large. This is all in the hopes that eventually, I’ll be recognised by everyone as the ideal I’m trying to live up to, and others will follow in my footsteps.

I’m ridiculously sensitive to any form of criticism or rejection, and isolate myself often to protect myself. Any negative comment made towards me, even someone looking at me the wrong way, can completely throw me off and ruin my self-perception. This is amplified tenfold when around new people - I’m extremely self-conscious and try to come across as almost too perfect.

Tertiary Ti:

I see detached analysis as a comfort, in a strange way. The relief that comes with being able to detach and let go of emotional baggage is therapeutic for me. However, when I do use Ti to navigate my emotional life, it tends to take the form of rationalising my feelings, figuring out why I feel a certain way before I can accept it and express it to others. Naturally, this line of thinking extends to how I work around other people’s feelings, too.

However, I believe I can use Ti in an unhealthy manner too. When I detach from the emotional realm too much, this can quickly lead me to a misanthropic and cynical worldview. I tell myself that nobody is worth engaging with because they won’t understand, let alone accept, what’s going on in my head. I flip between desperately wanting to be loved and questioning why, when I can only think negatively of people.

I acknowledge that my logic can be flawed, but it’s hard to grasp that in the moment. It really throws me off when someone points out holes in my logic, though - even if I know I’m wrong deep down, I will often cling to my way of thinking just for the sake of it.

Any insight would be immensely helpful, I hope I followed your instructions well enough. Thanks so much if you read all of this.

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You're really pulling and stretching at the INFP functions to try to make them fit and even ignoring strong counter-evidence, whereas the INFJ functions are a much more natural fit. You seem to have a long journey of function development ahead of you but I believe Ni+Fe lie at the heart of the project rather than Fi+Ne. As such, I would conclude your type is INFJ with a high degree of confidence.

#typing #ask

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collymore · 1 year

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ENVY!

By Stanley Collymore How can anyone either sensibly or realistically believe that to unilaterally, unwarrantedly and so inanely bigotedly, personally taking to quite horribly demonizing and without a shred of evidence to literally substantiate much less so validate their spurious and clearly unsubstantiated hostile, and also invariably, collectively dangerous and unbearable accusations that someone, or basically numerous persons, whom they subjectively dislike or very vehemently abhor, are in effect effectively remotely anything in similarity, to the very odious demonic figures liberally portrayed of them by their quite self-centred, literally discernibly vain, rather pathologically lying, notoriously dishonest, and self- evidently a pompous coterie of fatuous and avidly obsessively hostile beraters of these really unjustly targeted persons that they hatefully, want to destroy. A consciously deliberate and obviously personal project, and clearly immorally so because of their very own basically insane envy, and equally attendant with that their crucially and deeply ingrained, thoroughly endemically and vilely, characteristic jealousy; as and for the blatantly apparent reason that all of these crucially, obviously subjectively despised targets of theirs, have diligently, distinctively positively, and very much unlike themselves, rather commendably and strikingly in a diversity, of quite impressive career fields most honourably, really positively, and markedly successfully, proudly become beacons of light and crucially also, motivational instigators. Conspicuously so, in what is undeniably an increasingly drab and very dispiriting environment, characterized sadly by the distinctly obviously, rather pathetic lives and evidently also unsurprisingly deliriously totally unthinkingly inanely delightedly blissfully infested; significantly too, basically beloved by these openly vile decadent elements of humanity, who so inimically stupidly constitute an integral but quite regrettable segment of the evilly, routine existence of such naturally, grotesquely very intellectually challenged, patently unquestionably also, evidently toxically verminous and charlatan, lowlife cretins. (C) Stanley V. Collymore 19 March 2023. Author's Remarks: My critical observation and objective analysis of Envy is a state of mind invariably reinforced by behaviour often selfishly and self-centredly reinforced by the controlling elements within entrenched societally stratified communities and even countries; but nevertheless is similarly a societal problem that can be significantly reduced or even wholly eradicated if the invidious notion compounded by the egregious compulsion and its attendant obsession to worship mediocrity were seriously tackled and, both communally and societally, absolutely got rid of. For as long as unwarranted privilege, self-entitlement, the ludicrous concept and assumption of birth right, and positions of power and influence scandalously determined by cronyism, nepotism and the odious network of private school so-called “education”, as apart from genuine academic merit, natural ability and insightful perspicacity, attendant with true democracy, a vibrant meritocracy and the unchallenged and unchallengeable right to unfettered equality of opportunity become instead the norms of everyday life, Envy will undoubtedly exist and malevolently exert its intensive, rabid, distinctly rampant, unfortunately intrusive and currently ongoing “superiority”!

#Hate #Greed

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