#seriously brain i did not need that level of graphic imagery i really really didn't

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

WHY is it that when i am JOYFUL these thoughts return

like i am rejoicing that a temptation that has existed in some form for five or six years has now finally been defeated (a specific attraction that was wrong on every level, I saw its object today and felt nothing more than the perfectly expected and proper friendship). and BAM we've been thinking of suicide and or self harm ever since

and yeah honestly at this point. give me a reason why i shouldn't break my streak. because i want to so bad.

#tw suicide #tw sh #seriously brain i did not need that level of graphic imagery i really really didn't #puddleglum hours #personal