#seriously tho.... i'm so tired of dealing with homophobic and transphobic ppl

[golbrocklovely]

i'm so exhausted having to deal with the coworkers/managers i have at work being transphobic and/or homophobic.

like, i just don't get why i keep having this issue at work. i swear it's like they specifically hire ppl that are gonna say some off handed shit at work just to piss me off.

i had this issue two years ago, and i'm having it again. and what annoys me is i'm the outlier !! it's fucking insane to me. maybe it's bc i've been surrounded by gay ppl since hs (all my friends back in the day were gay and then i literally went on to major in theater) that i'm just not used to ppl being so blatantly hateful. i understand not "getting" ppl that are different than you. or maybe not understanding what goes on with someone so different. sure. i guess. but at what point do you stop and think "just bc i don't understand them doesn't mean i have the right to hate them or treat them lesser than????"

so the manager i deal with the most is literally 19 years old. i would like to believe that she has time to change her mind and all and especially grow up, bc she has some very weird thoughts that make me go like "oh… you know absolutely nothing about the real world but okay lol" so sometimes i just nod my head to whatever she says bc i'm not about to argue with a literal child. but today she randomly brought up trans ppl, and it just made me so fucking angry. we were breaking down palettes and she's going on about trans women aren't real women, and then she started talking about periods (but what she was saying didn't quite make sense so i just kinda zoned out), then she said "i'm fine with gay and bi and other ppl like that, but keep that to yourself" which like….. give me a fucking break, bitch. then she started talking about nonbinary ppl and saying that they need to "keep that shit to the bedroom" and they need to tell their partners stuff like that bc that's how ppl get diseases but at the same time they gotta stop making that aspect of their life their entire personality. and i'm just like……… what are you talking about? nonbinary is not sexuality. and what i find top tier comedy in the worse fucking way is she said something about pronouns that i don't remember now, but i KNOW FOR A FACT if someone called her a he/him she would be fucking pissed, but others can't feel that??? interesting.

AND THEN while all of this happening, my other coworker is agreeing with her. then my coworker brings up someone they knew that was friends with someone that was nonbinary, and she said that someone tried to out them at work and weirdly they (my coworker and manager) were both in agreement that ppl shouldn't try to out others bc those ppl could get hurt (ie gaybashed) and i'm just so confused how you can be smart enough to know that this group of ppl is hated on for existing, to the point of being assault/killed, but aren't kind enough to not judge them… you know, the thing that leads ppl into assaulting them???????????????

what's the most upsetting about all of this is that i don't feel safe enough to even report this. idk who the fuck to even report this to. my fear is i go to gm and find out she's equally as much of an asshole as my other coworkers. this isn't the first time at my place of work i've dealt with homophobic colleagues. and what makes it worse is i'm bi, but no one knows it. so if i came out and said "hey, don't shit on my brothers, sisters, and siblings alike bc i'm basically one degree removed from them" wtf is gonna happen to me? i'm not scared of my manager, again she's a child. but i'm more worried about what could happen later down the line. will they give me less hours and blame it on something else? will there be hostility towards me bc of my sexual orientation? i work with mostly women - are they gonna be grossed out by me and think i'm into them just bc i like women too?

not to mention i'm not out to anyone in my real life, aka my family. the thing is, i don't feel like i'll be disowned or anything. my brother literally has a bi best friend and truly is very neutral when it comes to shit like this and my mom….. is a bit more complicated. i don't think she'll hate me or anything. but my issue with possibly ever coming out to her is that i don't want to argue or explain myself. like, when you tell someone your favorite color, they don't interrogate you as to why you like it. that's how i feel about my sexuality. i just want it to be a fact about me, not a debate topic. so that's kinda why i've held off on telling my mom. bc i know her, and while she won't kick me out of the house, she will be annoying and go into "but are you really into women? oh cmon angelica, you've always liked men. you're not really bi." ect ect. and imma be honest, i'm 27 years old i'm not about to argue with my mom who i do or don't want to fuck.

i have literally no one to talk to about this and it's driving me up the wall.

so if yall could send some positivity my way in helping me find a better job, that would be appreciated. i seriously do not make enough money to deal with transphobic/homophobic coworkers :)))))

#personal #text #seriously tho.... i'm so tired of dealing with homophobic and transphobic ppl