#she stayed for one drink and then left in case zag didn't want to party with his mom

[chthonic-kelpie]

Every time Zagreus dies, he leaves behind a body. Someone has to clean up behind him. For a small fee, of course.

Happy Halloween! This is the last in a series of ficlets on this premise written over the course of October. The rest are on Ao3 (link above) and posted here with the tag “charon’s disposal service.”

9. A Significant Death

Rating: T

Wordcount: 1,339

Summary: Zagreus reaches a milestone.

-

The Styx cradled Zagreus gently as he re-formed and returned to consciousness. It was like waking up slowly, half-dreaming until he realized he was awake. Zagreus opened his eyes. Light glimmered through the ruby waters, growing brighter as he rose. Zagreus always found himself floating upwards when he was ready to return to life.

When he broke the surface, a chorus of cheers made him jump. “Congratulations!”

“I…what?” Zagreus rubbed the water out of his eyes. A small crowd was gathered around the pool of Styx: Hypnos, Thanatos, Megaera, Dusa…even Achilles had somehow managed to get away from his post, and Charon, who Zagreus had seen maybe twice inside the House in his entire life, had stopped by. Zagreus smiled as he stepped out of the pool and onto the rug. “This is new. Why don’t I get this kind of reception every time I die?”

“Ghhrrrrnnnnnhhhh,” groaned Charon.

“It’s a special occasion, Zagreus,” said Thanatos, taking a towel from the rack and handing it to Zagreus.

Zagreus smirked at him. “What, not going to help me dry off?”

Thanatos’s cheeks glowed faintly. He motioned with his head to the rest of the group. “In front of…?”

“Oh, alright.” Thanatos wasn’t big on PDA, which made it fun to tease him about it, but Zagreus wouldn’t tease to the point of pressuring him. He took the towel, ruffled it through his hair, and quickly toweled off his arms and legs. “A special occasion?” he repeated, draping the towel over his shoulders. It couldn’t be an anniversary, or it wouldn’t make sense for everyone else to be here, too. Had he missed some big pronouncement? Maybe he’d finally made Employee of the month, although if that was the case, it seemed a little rude for everyone to rub in how rare that was. “Er, could someone fill me in?”

“This is the one hundredth time you’ve died!” Hypnos said cheerfully. “It’s an impressive accomplishment. You should be proud! Why, even Meg hasn’t—”

Megaera loudly cleared her throat to interrupt him. “I don’t know if ‘proud’ is the word I’d use, but it’s some kind of milestone. So, congrats.”

“One hundred, really?” Zagreus let out a low whistle. “I guess that is sort of a big deal.”

“Ghhoooaaaaahhh,” Charon agreed.

“It never hurts to find a reason for celebration, lad,” said Achilles. “I can’t be away from my post long, but I wanted to come by and congratulate you. Luckily, your father went straight to his chambers after he returned, but I can’t have him see me absent from my post.”

Hypnos’s perpetual smile widened. “Don’t worry about him, he’ll be down for a while. I gave him a really nice dream.”

What was a “really nice” dream for Hades? A world without satyrs, maybe. Or a son who…no, Zagreus would rather not go down that route. “Wow, um…thank you, guys. I’m not sure what to say. I’m amazed you all managed to coordinate this, with how busy you all are.”

“It was Hypnos’s idea. He…writes a lot of things down,” said Dusa, clearly restraining herself from listing all the other ways Hypnos could spend his time instead of writing things down.

Hypnos, oblivious to the impatience in her voice, beamed. “Gee, thanks! But I can’t take full credit. Meg had the idea first. We were chatting once, after you killed her, Zag, and I said, ‘you know, pretty soon Zagreus will have died a hundred times!’ and she said, ‘Wow, really? We should have a party!’”

Meg looked at Zagreus, raising her eyebrows to invite him in on the joke. “What I actually said was, ‘Wow. Really? We should have a party,’” she repeated, in a much more sarcastic tone. “But it did sound like fun, once it all came together.”

“—And then I tried to tell Than, but he just ignored me—you know how he pretends that he doesn’t want to talk to me, he’s such a joker!”

Zagreus shot a look at Thanatos and attempted to silently say, we talked about this. Thanatos frowned and muttered, “I’m working on it.”

“—so then I told Achilles and Dusa, and they loved the idea!” Hypnos concluded, with a clap of his hands. “So they told Than, because I guess he doesn’t do that joke with anyone else—they probably wouldn’t get it, anyway—and he managed to get ahold of Charon, who said—”

“Hhhgghhhhhh,” said Charon.

Hypnos beamed. “Exactly!”

Dusa piped up, “And I thought this would be a great use for the lounge, now that it’s renovated, and…” She lowered her voice. “You know that, um, that stuff you gave me, Zagreus—uh, for the lounge? Would it be alright if we opened some?”

Zagreus’s grin widened. “It would be more than alright. In fact, I have a fresh bottle I can contribute, straight from Elysium.” He tossed the damp towel aside. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s get to the lounge. Oh—Sorry, Dusa,” he added to Dusa, who had darted over to catch the towel before it hit the ground. “Nice catch, though.”

Achilles cleared his throat. “I really ought to get back to my post. Charon?”

“Rhhhhrrggghhh.” Charon stepped forward. Only now did Zagreus realize he was hiding one hand beneath his robes, and that something lumpy distorted their shape.

“We got you something,” Megaera explained. “We all chipped in, because Charon made us pay for it. Well, except Than, because it made him ‘queasy.’”

“It’s just a bit macabre,” Thanatos said defensively.

Zagreus chuckled. “You’re the embodiment of death, Than.”

Thanatos made a face. “Okay, but…Just show him, Charon.”

“Aeeeeghhhh.” From inside his robes, Charon pulled his hand out to reveal…

“A…skull!” said Zagreus, trying to sound enthusiastic. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Something showier, after all that buildup.

“You like skulls, right?” said Hypnos. “They’re all over your house. You even wear them.”

Zagreus glanced down at the miniature skull on his belt buckle, then twisted to look at the three animal skulls at his shoulder. He could see how someone could get the impression that he really liked skulls. He took the skull from Charon and held it up with both hands to look at it. It was too big to use as a fashion accessory or a paperweight. He supposed he could talk to it when he felt like monologuing. “Yeah, skulls are great. Quite an appropriate way to commemorate my 100th death. Thanks!”

Megaera grinned. “It’s not just any skull, Zagreus. It’s your skull.”

Zagreus blinked at her. “In the sense that it belongs to me? I guess so, yeah.”

“No,” said Thanatos, his voice sounding strained. “It’s…um.”

“It’s your skull,” said Dusa. “From…when you died?” she lowered her voice, like she wasn’t sure if she should be talking about Zagreus’s death. “From your head.”

“Think of it as a trophy,” said Achilles. “But a trophy of your own personal growth.”

“Or think of it as an incredibly cool keepsake,” Megaera suggested.

Thanatos shuddered. “I prefer to avoid thinking of it at all, but that’s just me.”

“My skull?” It struck Zagreus suddenly how identical in size and shape the skull was to his own head. The eye sockets stared blankly back at him. Was this what mortals meant by “contemplating their mortality?” Zagreus shut his eyes and shook his head. “Wait—That doesn’t make sense. This is a joke, right? Gods don’t leave behind bodies when they die. If I did, there’d be a hundred corpses piled around the Underworld. Even taking the shifting rooms into account, there’d be a dozen in Meg’s chamber alone.” He looked around at his friends, waiting for them to burst into laughter and admit that they’d pranked him. They didn’t. “…Right?”

Megaera made a face. Achilles shot Charon an odd look. Dusa said, “Ummmm…”

“You want to take this one, Charon?” said Thanatos, running a hand through his hair.

All eyes turned to Charon, who avoided looking at any of them. Shuffling his feet, he groaned, “Huuuaaaaghhh.”

#hades fanfic #hades supergiant #hades game #zagreus #crack #banter #everyone contributed to this gift #meg had the idea 'hey wouldn't it be sick if we gave Zagreus his own skull' #achilles said 'yeah that would be pretty sick' and seconded the idea #charon provided the skull #dusa provided the acid to clean it (I assume she has that lying around right) #hypnos played four-dimensional tetris with everyone's schedules so they could be there at the same time (instead of doing his job) #thanatos said 'uh no thx I'll get zag my own gift' and agonized about what to get him for weeks #he ended up just making zag a card because he ran out of time #zag loves it and keeps it on his shelf propped up by the skull #I know they all barely interact but come on what else is fanfic for #nyx walked in while they were partying and everyone got awkwardly quiet thinking she was going to break it up #she was just like 'spirited revelry? how refreshing. please don't stop on my account." and left #persephone also walked in and was just like 'yall didn't invite me?' #she stayed for one drink and then left in case zag didn't want to party with his mom #hades never found out about any of this #charon's disposal service #cyankelpie's fic