#so he was assigned to hunt the WoL which he saw as his last chance for the glory he was promised and to get his life back together

[adahlenan]

I'm gonna be evergreen.

#teehee hiiii #FFXIV Asa Vonn #FFXIV #Gposes #my characters #anyways he is my brainrot blorbo lately im not sorry #i ported him over from SWTOR but his XIV story has become an interesting different aspect to him!! #tl;dr of his XIV story is #he's a combat prodigy who had his life path set out for him bcs of it from a young age and he has a lot of resentment about that. #plus being used as a weapon and a tool by his country and those he loves #he didn't want this at all and went along to not rock the boat #which caused a lot of strife in his personal life + marriage and led to his 'perfect' life crumbling apart + divorce #so he was assigned to hunt the WoL which he saw as his last chance for the glory he was promised and to get his life back together #and NOT be a “washed-up 45 y/o divorcee”. But. Yknow. That didn't go to plan either #long story but now he's working alongside the Scions but his loyalties lie with the WoL alone as he came to respect him and his vision #my baby boy........

[bubblytardigrade]

Coming Out on the First, or, Ramblings On Why I Adore That Big Elf Nerd

Spoilers to 6.1

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What the heck my tumblr has apparently turned into Urianger Thoughts sooooo let’s lean into it and go!  I imagine someone else has probably written this already, but again I’ve been sitting on these thoughts for a year and what is tumblr for if not to scatter ideas like glitter stars across the just-swept floors of fandom? Yes, Urianger’s my favorite character because he is the most empathic and emotionally intelligent of the Scions. He reads as an hsp, neurodivergent, and aspec af kinkeeper like me. Yes, on meeting him I immediately went THIS NERD SHALL BE MY WOL’S BFF because we both escaped from bullying to books, picking up language quirks from our reads (he fantasy-Shakespeare, me Wodehouse) and he is eminently extraverdoptable. Anyone who is excited to gift me a free lecture on interesting topics at the drop of a hat is my kind of people, because this is also how I show affection. I relate to him a ton. And the very clever way the Scions are written encourages you to project yourself on the ones you relate to. But I still have questions.

Where is he from? Who is his family? While the Sharlayan segment of EW was gorgeous and immensely satisfying, I feel like I don’t know any more than I did before. Did Moen’s parents and Louisoix raise him? Is he a Sharlayan orphan? Was he raised in a wealthy family like the Leveilleurs, or more modestly? And how in the heck did such a sensitive soul begin a career in espionage?

I haven’t played 1.0, but according to the wiki (bold mine): “Urianger was involved in the reestablishment of the Grand Companies of Eorzea, which continued to combat this threat. Urianger acted behind the scenes, having been branded a heretic by the Garlean Empire, and their pursuit of him distracted them from doing greater harm to the city-states. In spite of his seclusion, Urianger appeared at most Circle of Knowing gatherings, and even accompanied their leader, Louisoix Leveilleur.” Soooooo he’s been Roadrunner-trolling Garleans then shouting MEEP MEEPETH and running away??

Math time: if 1.0 starts 5 years before ARR, and Urianger is 29 in ARR, he’s roughly 24 in 1.0. In the clips I saw on youtube at any rate he sounds like he’s already experienced in running interference, so I imagine he’s been at it a couple of years or so. And if he finished up puberty with his growth spurt at age 20 (maybe lasting a year or two?) it sounds like pretty much his entire adult life he’s been on the run from the Empire.

It didn’t sound like he had a spymaster, either, which could explain a lot about why he tends to act on his own without telling anyone, why he was so confident playing double agent with Elidibus, and why he managed to pull off the incredibly high-stakes things he pulls off. He’s literally a pro. It also implies that in addition to being reserved he wears the outfit as part of his role, and is just heckin Method about his acting (like when you first meet him and he realizes he doesn’t have to put on the Mysterious Prophet act for you and corrects himself.) 

And then there’s the First. Suddenly he’s whisked away to another world with zero Garleans. No one is hunting him. No one knows his face. For pretty much the first time in his entire adult life, he’s not on the run. And he blossoms. As he starts his 30s he finally has the chance to figure out who he is and what he wants. I don’t know if it was Louisoix who gave him the spy assignment but while he was good at it, it wasn’t a good fit emotionally. We start to see him pull away from it more and more in this beautiful arc where he sets aside clothes that hide him from identification, and magic that can be used as a distraction. He goes full nominative determinism with astrologian (augury = telling the future) and becomes not a spy, but a healer, embracing the soft heart at the center of his character. As he relaxes more we see more of the things that make him him, like that dry, quirky sense of humor. This also reads for my headcanon as the timeframe when he accepts himself enough to fall in love with Thancred.  When Obergefell vs. Hodges came down, I was 30. While there was still more work to do, things felt....different. It felt like a different world full of change and optimism, kind of the sensation of opening a window in a stagnant room. And in that fresh air I was able to come out to myself and start the process of coming out to everyone else. And like... when you come out as LGBTQIA2S+ it sounds like you’re coming out as a category (for me, demipan) but in a lot of ways you're setting aside the mask society's pushed on you and saying here I am, I’m just me. And that’s what Urianger does, and one of the reasons he’s so precious to me. For the first time, he accepts and celebrates who he is, fully, as a person. And his loved ones do, too.

When you meet him on the First he echoes his Mysterious Prophet introduction to you and then reintroduces himself, confidently and mischievously asking how you like the true him. He knows you love him and will accept him, and when someone comes out to you in the knowledge that you'll celebrate them it feels like such an honor, y'know?

And when he returns to the Source, Garlemald is in such a state that it’s safe for him to drop the assigned prophet act and be his true gnc astrologian self. His struggles with “honesty” really sound more to me like struggles between the expectations of this obligatory spy role and his authentic self. I’m still annoyed that when he is excruciatingly hard on himself I can’t just wrap him up in my arms and tell him he’s okay, he did the right thing.  Then in EW we see his rejection of spying and of being who other people ask him to be come full circle, where he honors his own needs (”I followed my heart”) and learns to place healthy boundaries with the Loporrits. (I literally hollered to my wife "OMG Urianger learned to set boundaries!!" and we cheered, haha!) Moen's parents affirm and validate his growth in That Scene. It makes me wonder again who put him up to spying and why he went along with it. Ultimately he comes of age at 32 by accepting himself, asserting himself, and learning to be gentler with himself. And that’s beautiful. 

#Urianger Augurelt #ffxiv urianger #urithan #thanuri #im sleepy here have a braindump