#so i interact best with ppl who are already Very Out There ykwim

[skunkes]

i dont mean this in a rude way at all and its more coming from somebody who has always struggled socializing even online but when ppl have asked me if id ever make a Skunkes Brand Discord Server...its like... 1. No 2. asking me that alone is already very showing of us being two extremely severely completely different people

*spongebob flying ice cream truck* this is not me being mean about ppl who do make servers looking for ppl to discuss their own art and interests with

#i cant even Be in a discord server why wld i want to be in charge of one full of strangers 😭 i wld not be present #i wld be as present as i am in the only server im in which is the neopets one for updates #the only other servers im in are me + 1 friend or me + 2 of my friends‚ friend servers #talkys #i do not ever think of even joining servers. what do u mean #also while im here but adjacent to this is when ppl on anon flirt with me like u are on anon... #thats already telling enough.... #not even in a mean way but i myself am a neurotic isolating person who never reaches out #so i interact best with ppl who are already Very Out There ykwim #we cant both be debilitatingly shy. #but yeah back to my original point its bc i myself cant fathom it #like why wld i want to join a discord full of other fans of an artist 😭❓

[byulsgrease]

wowie your post abt your coming out was a high coincidence because i just figured out/accepted the fact of me not being heterosexual recently. im honestly still debating what "label" suits me best however it just isnt straight,, ykwim. im leaning towards pansexual but ik theres no rush on what to call myself, and in fact i do think i could also just go with the whole "unlabeled" type of person, but i believe its easier for others to understand who i love or like when the time comes. which brings me to my question, how did you do it? like coming out, and i mightve missed that part bcus i lowkey speed read, but did you bring it up randomly or did family/friends technically already knew? and ik trans is way different than pansexuality, but they still deal with the whole announcement to family and others

proud of you!! figuring it out + accepting it for yourself is big :D

I feel you on your stance towards labels - even tho I fit the definition for being non-binary I generally avoid using it to describe myself if I can help it cuz I just don’t really vibe w it? so w/ other lgbtq+ people I just say transmasc(uline) instead and people usually get what I mean, but I default to non-binary when I talk to cishet people cuz the label's just easier for other people to understand. it really shouldn’t have to be like that but alas I am extremely non-confrontational and pander to other people’s comfort LOL (which I do not necessarily advise) approach is similar when I tell people I'm bi/pan, I tend to just say "if I like you I like you" and people usually understand that too

it's cool you're chill about labels though, I remember as a kid I was so hung up on finding the right label but now I'm old and very much a go with the flow type of person, so you're certainly farther along in that department than I was when I was figuring things out 🤣 I def did occupy the “I’m not straight and not cis” realm for a number of years while I was figuring things out tho

to be honest, I'm kind of the worst person to ask for coming out advice because all I really did at first was change my name on all my social media and hoped that people got my drift (some did, others needed more explaining to) and it's a decision I went back and forth on for a long time before just saying fuck it and going through with it bc I was fed up with all the energy I was expending to hide it

my closest friends knew for years before I came out publicly (they helped me try out pronouns/gave me new name suggestions/listened to my quarterly existential crises). my mom also knew for quite a while beforehand, but I mostly just told her I wasn't cis and left it at that for quite a while up until I transitioned publicly

I'm pretty masc tho and have always been, so... I seriously doubt anyone was really surprised

I'll also say that I knew I was bi long before I figured out I was trans and also dated a girl for quite a while before I transitioned so most people in my life knew I at least wasn't straight before I changed my name and all that

and yeah, I would say coming out as trans is a bit diff because it’s... more involved? like, I don't feel the need to go around and tell people i'm bi/pan because technically it's none of their business who I like/want to be in a relationship with, but gender is a more high-touch subject since people around me have to interact with me directly (and by proxy my gender identity) and also the whole... getting misgendered and asking people to respect a new name and pronouns thing. waiting for people to adapt and change how they speak/interact with you (if they even choose to 🙄) is not necessarily something that ppl coming out as not-straight have to deal with

all to say, it's quite the ride! and like you said, there's no rush :) hope you have good people around + a support system of some kind, thanks for reading my existential post in the first place 🥺

#good god sorry for the wall of text 💀 #I hope some sliver of this made logical sense/answered your question #inbox is always open for y'all :D #anon reply