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#so if you feel an aura of confusion in my posts today then thats the reason
boycannibal · 3 years
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so many thoughts about this and im having none of them
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yamithediaperdork · 3 years
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Happy birthday LOSER! (Mortal Instruments)
It was Jace's birthday, and the ex hunter was happy and excited as well as nervous. He'd been living with his boyfriend for half a year now, and 2 months ago Alec had found out about Jace's little kink. Jace was a humiliation junkie little, who had some rather fucked up little stories he'd written on his computer and Alec had found them, then with a little bit of snooping around their place had found a pack of teddy bear diapers and a dino print onesie. Alec made it clear he wasn't exactly a fan of the whole fetish, but had made it clear Jace could wear the diapers if he wanted..but Alec wasn't changing his ass and he expected Jace to keep being a adult in the bedroom. Jace had agreed, though it just wasn't the same but today, after a little bit of whining (ok, A LOT of whining done over the past week) he'd gotten Alec to agree to ONE night of baby play, but Alec warned him he might not like what was coming as much as he thought, since Alec would be taking inspiration from Jace's story's. Knowing just how insane his stories could get, Jace was a little worried but seeing the playpen and high chair that Alec rented for the night, he figured he was just being a silly head.
Alec smirked, Jace looked so happy/scared and he wasn't even dressed for the night yet. Part of him was having doubts about what he was planing on doing, but the truth of the matter was Jace wasn't really much of a boyfriend as of late. He was always too busy shooting his seed into his diapers or watching baby shows.  Add in what a PAIN it was to get him to do any of the chores around the house despite the fact that Alec was the one paying the rent (their original deal was Alec paid, Jace cleaned) and well the brat was just becoming more and more baby like by the day. Alec was sure on some level, Jace was going to love the surprises he had in store for him, and even if he didn't, tough. it wasn't like widdle baby Jace was gonna be able to find someone else to put up with his shit. with his doubts cleared, Alec came over as Jace finished setting up the playpen and patted the brat's butt, and confirmed a crinkle. "Didn't I tell you to wait till I was ready to put you back in huggies to wear today?" Alec asked. "Oh Uh..well see..there was this evillll witch.. and-" Jace started blushing and squirming. "A evil witch huh? How about there was a horny baby who decided NOT to listen to daddy so he just earned baby food tonight instead of Chinese from golden dragon." Alec said and smirked. "W-what? but..but..That's not-" "Does somebody wanna go to bed without din din?" Alec asked and smirked. "..No daddy." "that's what i thought.. well come on DIAPER BOY.. let's get you dressed like the BIG STUPID BABY you wanna be.." Alec said, oddly having fun as he slipped into mean daddy mode. and judging from the look on Jace's face and the way he was squirming..the birthday baby didn't mind it either. As Alec lead the way to the bedroom, Jace went to suck his thumb, only to be stopped and have a paci popped into his mouth.
Sucking big time on the paci, Jace was torn between being pouty over having to eat baby food while Alec was gonna be eating take out..and thrilled he was going to be eating baby food instead of take out. It was a scene from a lot of his stories and he had a sneaking feeling Alec had been just waiting for any little thing to give him a reason. Alec guided him over to his kitty cat print changing mat which was on the floor and Jace nodded and laid down, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of daddy striping him of his grey sweat pants and white t-shirt, though his eyes flew open when Alec slipped a finger in the leg guard of Jace's diaper. "Just as I thought, soaked. Silly baby, why didn't you tell daddy you were wet?" Alec scolded Jace. Jace, who knew for a fact he was bone dry tried to mumble out a excuse around the paci, but course all that came out was gibberish. "I suppose I can't expect someone who gets his rocks off crapping himself to know when he's wet or dry, I'll just have to check you lots on my own. it's my burden to bear." Alec said in a over the top dramatic fashion sighing. he untapped the dry diaper and then gave anther mock gasp. "Jace! why didn't you put on any baby powder? do you wanna get a icky rash around that joke you call a dick?!?" Alec asked, shaking a finger at Jace who was blushing BIG time now. His less then stellar manhood had been mentioned a few time, but Jace made up for not being able to fuck his boyfriend with his 3 inches rock hard cocklet with having a super skilled mouth and a nice tight hole that milked dick like a pro. Jace hadn't put on any baby powder because he'd been trying to hide the diaper he wasn't suppose to be wearing yet, Alec had a bloodhound sense of smell for baby powder these days. "well if you WANT a diaper rash I'm not going to argue with you. your the birthday boy after all. just don't come bitching t me when you're all itchy from being trapped in poopie diapies with no powder." Alec said running a finger on the stiff and twitching tiny dick. "of course if you WANT baby powder all you have to do is tell daddy..but the second that paci comes out my finger stops. and well, if you cream yourself like the little quick shot loser you are..I'll know you wanna be a dumb baby with diaper rash." Jace mewed and squirmed, the finger felt SO good and part of the deal for today was Jace had to goon for 6 hours yesterday and 4 hours this morning. he buckled his hips and whimpered sucking, nursing on the paci and closing his eyes as he felt his balls tighten and when pew pew. His backed up load firing out and landing on his tummy. "Diaper rash it is." Alec chuckled, and then tugged out a bag of new diapers. jace was still riding the post orgasm bliss,  coo'ing as Alec rubbed the cum in as a form of diaper cream and didn't have time to notice these weren't his normal diapers..at least not until Alec had taped him in one of them and he noticed  how stupid thick it was! His teddy bear diapers weren't exactly thin, but this damn three was like four of them in one diaper..and Alec was unfolding a second one! the material on the instead was the soft pillowly smoothness Jace was used to either, it was a harder matiral that kinda itched a little. "Butt up little guy..heh..somebody noticing these aren't his little pussy teddy diapies?" Alec asked, getting the second diaper under jace who nodded and whimpered. "These are little brats punishment diapers. guaranteed to help bratty big babies get diapie rash and leave him squirming all night long. you're suppose to use them on big babies who keep removing their diapers, but i think using them on a stupid diaper bitch who'd rather crap himself then get fucked works too." Alec said, and taped the diaper up then kissed his index and middle fingers on his right hand and tapped them on the front of the diaper. "I know you're suppose to be getting a blowjob tonight, but don't be shocked if thats as close as you get loser." Alec chuckled and jace started to get worried he might of created a monster.
The original plan called for a onesie and then a pair of shorts over the diapers, but Jace's diapered ass was just too massive and it had been touch and go to just get the onesie over the thick diapers.the buttons looked ready to pop at any time as was and the big stupid baby couldn't even walk with the massive bulk between his legs. Watching jace crawl around and whine, the paci still in his mouth Alec felt himself getting hard and found himself wondering why he had fought this for so long..though it was safe to assume when jace had pictured Alec getting involved, Alec likely hadn't of been this mean. Taking note of the time, Alec smiled at Jace and leaned down, using a sweet mocking baby talk voice. "Well now mister diaper dumper, does daddies stupid widdle baby wanna get him's nums nums in him now so daddy can eat in peace, or does daddies widdle woser wanna come and play pretend..and be daddies foot rest while he waits for him's supper? if you want num num's crawl over to your high chair, if you wanna have daddies stinky feet on you crawl over by daddies chair." jace wrinkled his nose at the idea of the second choice and started to crawl for the high chair, only for alec to pick him up and turn him around, in the direction of his chair. Jace got a confused look on his face and turned around to head for the high chair again, and again Alec turned him around. "Somebodies not quite getting what the correct answer is, is he?" Alec asked. jace suckled and whined, and pointed at his high chair, he HATED the smell of Alec's feet, and would bitch up a storm when Alec would leave his socks around the apartment. "If I have to smell your shitty diapers later, your huffing on my feet now. now you can sit up like a good boy over there and have my feet on your shoulders..or lay down on your back and get them in your face. If i have to turn you around again, it's face." Alec said. Jace whined and looked ready to cry, but as quickly as he could he scampered over and took a seat by the chair. "good boy~" Alec said coming over and smirking. "oh no, face the tv little man, that way daddy can get his stinky feet right in your dumb little face with ease."
Ok, this wasn't what Jace had wanted at all. Sure he like a kinda mean and evil daddy, but his buns and crotch were already getting sore, his knees were getting scuffed up and now he was gonna have to -UGH- Huff foot stink! Still Alec was giving off a very clear aura of 'don't fuck with me' so baby jace did as he was told, and whined as the stinky smelly sock clad feet of Alec were pressing on either side of his face. "I hope you don't mind, but daddy went for a nice long run today. Oh, i bet you can tell huh buddy?" Alec teased and then rubbed the top of his left foot against Jace's nose. Jace whined and thought about spitting his paci out so he could just breath though his mouth, the funk was strong with Alec's feet but that thought was dashed as Alec spoke up. "bit of a friend heads up baby boy, if that paci comes out daddies gonna assume you wanna suck on his toes." Alec chuckled. jace whined and whimpered, and started to hope the take out would hurry up and get here,even if it meant watching Alec wolf down all the adult food.
The rush of power Alec was feeling as he made the diaper dork suffer was giving him major wood, and he toyed with rubbing one out and coating the back of the babies head with cum, then got a look at the time. 'Shit..even with jace's amazing mouth skills I don't have time to nut.' Alec thought with a frown and took out a bit of his frustration lightly kicking Jace's in the face. The big baby whined A LOT at that but before he could follow up, there was a knock at the door, and Alec took his feet off of Jace. "Well, go get the door silly. don't worry, Daddy pre paid for the din din.But if the delivery boy wants a tip you can suck him off." Alec laughed. Jace whimpered but crawled over, his big fat diaper butt swaying and almost making Alec have a accident as he got to the door and then slowly opened it. "Happy birthday diaper bitch!" came Simon's voice and Jace's Pacifier fell out of his mouth, though it was thankfully clipped to his onesie. "W-What are y-you.." Jace started to ask, but Simon pushed the big baby over and walked past him, carrying dinner for two and Alec got up to greet him, the two MEN kissing while the BABY watched.
After watching his ex and his current boyfriend make out for a little bit, which despite the pain had Jace rubbing the front of his diaper, the big baby finally found his voice. "W-What's..what's going on here?" he asked in a small voice. "oh? isn't it clear little one?" Simon asked, smirking. "Likely not. he IS a big dumb baby after all." Alec laughed, then looked at Jace. "you see baby Jace, when two adults love each other VERY much-" he started. "CUT THE CRAP!" Jace huffed and closed the door, then tried to get to his feet. "How long have you been fucking around on me behind my back!" "oh, we started right about the time I found out my boyfriend who i thought was a MAN, was just a diaper filling loser. One who can't even be arsed to wear undies to bed anymore and just wants diapers all the time. Then i found out that Simon here used to baby you..but he got sick of wiping your shitty ass."  Alec said. "We both realized that while your cute, and it IS fun to torment you, neither of us wanted the responsibility's of being a full time single daddy, and honestly, it's nice to have a partner who can fuck you now and then without wearing a strap-on over his huggies." Simon went on. "So really, we decided to have the best of both worlds. and you get to live out your cute wittle fetish. I'm dumping you as a boyfriend, but you can stay here and live with me and Simon as long as you promise to be a good little fucktard diaper cuck. Before you go to get al high and mighty, it's only MY name on the lease for this place, so I can and WILL kick you out the SECOND you try and get uppity. Furthermore your bank account is officially at zero, I let Simon have your bank card yesterday and you never even noticed it was gone." Alec said cheerfully. "so to recap, you have NO money, NO where to go..and we donated al of your adult clothes earlier while you were out having a birthday coffee with what's her name..who knows what a diaper slut you are and was only too happy to get you out of the house for this." Simon finished. "i..but..You.." Jace whimpered, his legs getting weak and giving out on him as he plopped onto his butt, the onesie popping open and tears started to leak down his cheeks. "awww, is the widdle baby gonna cry cuz he fell down and went boom?" Simon asked, coming over and leaning down. "or is it your realizing this is just like all those stories you write, where you or anther boy would find himself trapped in baby land?" Alec asked. jace was full on bawling now and the new daddies laugh and picked him up, and cheeked his tear stained cheek.s "Happy birthday LOSER." they said in unison.
One good long sob later, and Jace was in his high chair (and it actually WAS his.. Simon had paid for it in full using Jace's bank card and there was a no return policy.) they had tugged his onesie off and tied a bib around his neck, white with 'big dumb baby' in multi colored baby blocks on it, and had his arms pinned down by the tray so he couldn't feed himself. Simon was busy setting his and Alec's plates while Alec was dumping 3 jars of baby food into a big bowl, mixing brussel spouts with prunes and broccoli. the mixture didn't smell all that good and Jace had no illusions it was gonna taste any better then it smelled as Alec set the bowl on the tray and then got out a table spoon. "Ready to fill up on fart fuel diaper baby? this is gonna have your tummy cramping alll night, Since i made sure to get baby food that had expired. Don't worry, it's not gonna kill you or make you super sick..just like I said, you have a longggg night ahead of you~" Alec chuckled and scooped up a heaping amount. "I don't suppose I could just get a happy meal instead?" Jace tried, and got his mouth stuffed with the foul tasting muck instead. "I think that answers your question." Alec chuckled. jace just gagged and swallowed.
Alec signed, if there was one thing making feeding Jace the disgusting mush not so fun..it was the fact he had to spell it and put up with the foul smelling burps that were coming out before they were halfway done the bowl.he switched up with Simon so he could start on his food and smirked as Simon let out a belch right back in jace's face. "mmm, Mu Shu Pork..can you taste it on my breath?" Simon teased, knowing it was the babies favorite food. and also knowing Jace would NEVER have it again. "G-Guys come on..this..this is too much..Please..it's my bir-" Jace tried to whine but Simon stuffed his mouth again. "We know what day it is, that's why we waited till today to doom you to permanent baby hood. best birthday present ever, right?" Alec called over, between mouthfuls of noodles. Jace whined and started to sob again, some baby food coming out of his mouth and like a 'good' daddy, Simon scooped it up off his chin and back into his mouth.
with the MEN fed and the BABIES belly cramping and bloated, the little gas machine was plopped in the playpen and then it was set so the daddies could see him, and he could see the daddies, but no tv for widdle diaper dorks. instead, in the cramped playpen he had some soft blocks and a stuffed bear to amuse himself with, and Jace quickly became half bored out of his mind and just stuck seething with rage as he watched Simon and Alec make out on the couch. for the most part they just ignored him, save for when they'd make eye contract and flip him off. Just as Alec had predicted, Cramp's were soon hitting baby Jace's tummy tum and he found himself on his knees, rocking back and forth slightly and rubbing his tummy, belching lots and whining. Simon apparently had enough of said whining and grabbed Jace's paci and popped it in his mouth,and then added a warning as Jace went to spit it out. "if that comes out of your mouth, I'm replacing it with my gym socks, and duct taping your mouth." Jace wasn't sure if Simon would actually follow up on the threat but at this point he didn't wanna push his luck and suckled on the paci, closing his eyes as Simon patted his head. "Awww, there's a good widdle cuck~"
making out with Simon in front of his now EX boyfriend was driving Alec crazy, and he was grinding against his new  boyfriend moaning like a bitch in heat. he could feel just how excited Simon was too and was about to suggest that they retire to the bedroom when a loud painful sounding fart, barely muffled by the diapers blasted out of the babies backside and a rotten smell filled the room. "sheesh, way to kill the mood stinker!" Alec teased. jace whined behind his paci and gave a helpless shrug, as if to ask what did they expect, but then closed his eyes as two more atomic farts blasted out of him. "Heh, this is the downside of those punishment diapers.. well fr us i mean. clearly for him the fact their giving him diaper rash and are so massive already suck..but they also do basically NOTHING to block stinky smells so dumb big babies have to suffer they're own stench." Simon said. "Geez no wonder the company that made these went tits up." Alec said, holding his nose and waving at the air. Jace seemed to perk up at that. "Don't get your hopes up stinker..I brought out the last of their stock." Simon teased then went on. "here's a math puzzle for you..If daddy Simon got 20 pallets of these diapers, and there are 30 boxes on each pallet, with each box having 3 packs, and every pack having 12 diapers..how many punishment diapers is baby Jace gonna hafa fill to the brim before he gets his stupid teddy bear diapers back?" Jace's eyes went wide and -adorably- he was doing the math, moving a finger in the air and then a long wet fart came out of him even as a hiss was heard. "if baby Jace thinks it's 21,600 then he's right! your butt and balls are gonna be permanently coated in diaper rash before your even though 100 diapers." Simon laughed. The made even more farts come out of the bloated cramping baby and Alec groaned. "Jace I'm warning you right now, if I have to change a shitty diaper before I get to fuck Simon or he gets to fuck me, I'm locking your sad excuse for a cock up in permanent chastity and you'll NEVER cum again!" Sadly, the threat did nothing to help and Jace's bowels gave way as he filled his diaper to the brim with a hot stinky load.
Having to pause their love making to change the baby understandably left Alec and Simon less then happy on the outside, but on the inside they were thrilled. they would of normally just of left Jace stinky and put him in his new nursery but since they were eager to lock him up and keep him for don't more then leak pre for the rest of his stupid big baby life, they were willing to give him a early bum change. cleaning up the stinker wasn't a picnic but had to be done to ensure the best fit and then as Alec held the crying and hysterical Jace down, Alec started to cast a rune with on hand, fitting a small pink cage on Jace's cock. "No! No please! you can't do this! At least let me cum one last time!" Jace bawled, trying to get free. "It's my fucking cock! Daddies please!" Sadly the babies plea's fell on deaf ears, and with a lock click that made Jace shut up even as tears flowed down his cheeks, Jace realized he was getting everything he ever had begged for..and yet he didn't want it. "Happy Birth LOSER!" Both of his new daddies said together, and kissed his cheeks.
the end
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gg-astrology · 6 years
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Red Velvet: Sun and Moon
💕Hello! I wanted to talk about Red Velvet’s Sun and Moon today! I think I’ll be adding in their decans to these analysis, because it helps color them better individually. I figured this a good series to start off with before I jump into doing each of the members individually. Since I’ve only made one of these posts before for Black Pink, I wanted to see how dense it would be, now that I’ve had some practice! There’s already an overview of Yerim up but hopefully this would be more of a focus to her character! 💕
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💕disclaimer: i’m no expert on astrology but these are my interpretations of the signs and how they’re working based on my experiences with them. Everyone has different opinions and studies in astrology, all interpretation and experiences within the realm is valid. However feel free to make your own post or skip if you strongly disagree. There might be inaccuracy and difference in opinions. But the point of this post is to relate, entertain and have a fun time. I’m hoping to validate people with similar experiences and get people excited about the girls+ astrology. Also, since we don’t know most of their birth times, I’m using the standard 12.00pm💕
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Bae Joo Hyun (Irene)
29 March 1991 (Daegu, Korea)  Aries Sun/Virgo Moon
God I love her so much, she’s so fucking good
Irene is such a freaking good example of Arian beauty, I know there’s alot of gushing about Libra/Taurus because of their ruling planet Venus. But Aries native are REALLY beautiful, their Mars energy is invigorating and exuberant to be around. 
If Venus ruled signs are like catching a wiff of something pleasant, the tinkling laughter in the wind- Mars beauty is like the heated-humid draft of a sauna on your skin, and the first swallow of something hot down your throat after freezing your ass off in the cold.
There’s something about them that feels like you’re eyes are opened for the first time, they wake up your senses. Their energy is felt so palpably. It’s like that moment where you realize you’ve been in love with the person for a really long time, and just noticed all of their beauty; ‘oh shit, they’re actually GORGEOUS’    
Irene has both Mars and Venus energy in her Sun/Moon sign, since her Aries sun is in 1st decan (Mars ruled) and her Virgo moon is in 3rd decan (Venus ruled/Taurus) 
Since the Venus is in her moon, it’s not apparent on her face. It’s is however, in her eyes. 
Virgos-Taurus people tend to have really expressive eyes. And even though she tends to keep them less expressive (This is because of Virgo moon’s emotional discipline and reserved nature) , the moment she smolders or gaze at you-  there’s a charm that just magnetize you to her. 
You know that gaze is extremely attractive, and it’s harmonic in nature (Taurus/Venus). But her aura/face/expression itself. Wow that’s all Aries. 
What makes Arian beautiful is it’s in force. It’s compulsion, and you feel coerced into stopping in your track. There’s something there that made you stop breathing for a second because of them. That’s why she can be seen as so beautiful, but at the same time so intimidating. 
It’s not the same kind of intimidating that Scorpio or Capricorn has (it’s - Arian intimidation is like a a game of tag, there’s a playfulness to it but also a mischievous energy that’s bewitching. 
Also, her eyebrows is really Aries? People with strong Arian influence have similar eyebrows. Strong and kinda shaped in pressuring way.They look like they could be in a gang and take your money and they all hang out together somehow. (Lisa, Yoongi, Taehyung and more but thats all I’ve looked into so far) 
The sun symbolizes your ego, your sense of self and your self-expression. Aries sun typically are more laid back than what people realize, they like hanging out with friends and enjoys great company more than people think. They’re not introverted nor extroverted, they can be away from people to do their own thing because they’re independent (Irene is a homebody, and thats mostly her Virgo moon), but they generally like to have fun. In a way they can be pretty ambivert when they want to be. 
Aries aren’t as ‘wild’ or ‘out there’ as people think they are. They aren’t like air signs who actually feels good talking to others. Aries tends to stick to close knit groups of friends they carry with them, usually through years of knowing each other. 
There’s not much that they can’t accept in other people, which they’re pretty sympathetic to other’s plight. But god, don’t ever wrong them. 
They have some seriously strong moral code that they live by, and if someone ever crosses that line they’ll let them know immediately that they’re not pleased. 
They have no patience for people who crosses those morals, and they usually defend those around them as well. 
They’re not self-centered, they actually have a pretty grounded sense of self/others. It’s half way from being detached like an air-sign or people-cautious like an earth-sign. Fire sign sees themselves as a separate entity from others and expects others do the same. 
They innately feel that everyone has this sense of self-ego and self-expression and we’re all kind of sharing this energy with each other? Vibing off but not sucking energy off of each other seems to be the key. 
That’s why sometimes they get confused when air signs refuses to share anything private about themselves with others, or water signs tries to live precariously through others becomes dangerous. It panics and confuse them when others don’t see that self-independence and having the freedom to be themselves is something extremely important. And they’re pretty noble in assuming the good in humanity at all in any relationships.  
Irene really shows off her Arian traits when she smiles or laughs with her friend. You can see that she’s much more laid back with interpersonal relationship than people seem to realize. It makes them want to get to know her, however intimidating she might be. And she’s not opposed to it! She’s actually pretty open to friendship, but only to those who come to her sincerely and honestly. She’s not one for playing mind games with others, and she doesn’t need anyone who would complicate her life. They wouldn’t get any time of her day.
Aries sun typically doesn’t like to put up airs or front, they’re direct, straight forward and pretty honest to others and to themselves. They feel like it hinders communication and progress, they like to be themselves and they like to be in presence of others who are just themselves as well. 
That’s why Irene really doesn’t put on airs at all, what you see is just her being honest and earnest to others around her in hopes that they’ll give the same respect back. 
Since the moon symbolizes one’s emotions and subconscious/thoughts, and her Aries sun is pretty honest - her feelings inside is probably projected on her face pretty often. She’s really not hiding anything, the Sun IS reflecting truthfully what her moon is like. But the problem in itself is her moon and how she deals with her emotions. 
Virgo moon can have a hard time relating to others in a way that’s passive, because they’re always productive and progressive, they’re always trying to find solutions to the problem, or immediately jump to  do something to make the other person better. Self-sufficiency is important to Virgo natives, and the way they relate to others is to help offer solutions that might have them become self-sufficient too.  Sometimes, when you just want someone to listen to you and not offer criticism, they’re pretty bad at taking those cues.
On Irene, as one’s moon it can make the person overthink or be harder on themselves when there’s no reason to be. Their strive/drive for self-sufficiency keeps them busy, so they’re always bustling around with abit of nervous energy trying to keep their minds busy and their emotions ‘productive’. This in itself is pretty healthy, if they learn how to moderate. 
However, Virgo moons tends to overwork itself to the point of blocking emotions they deem ‘unproductive’ or they can’t ‘fix’/’find a solution to’. It can lead to them being more self-critical and self-decrepitating than they should be, and can really lower their self-confidence.  
They also try to emotionally discipline themselves, thinking that if they try to structure and create order in their emotions- they can work through it productively. Truthfully, this isn’t how emotions are supposed to work. They tend adopt a cautious, reserved nature because of this. And it still doesn’t fix or help them gain back their self-confidence. 
Irene can be a bit reserved emotionally. But because of her Aries Sun her emotions aren’t immediately tied to how she probably feels about herself. She has that regal look, that outward ego she projects that stands strong. Honestly, if she had anything other than a fire sun, her virgo moon would’ve been much more apparent or toxic in nature. They balance each other out in a way.  
Virgo natives also tends to be much shier. Much like Pisces they’re about more responsive and receptive to those around them. Virgo is ruled by Mercury, so there’s a need for communication with the world outside. Virgos are responsive when communicated with, and they appear to have good senses in what to do to respond to people. They value efficiency, and that usually means direct and open communicators. 
They appreciate high standards in other people, since they tend to hold themselves at a standard that’s harder to achieve as well. They have an appreciation for what is appropriate (topics/conversation/art) and appreciate people who respect them for it.
Virgos are really nurturing, they like to do little things for others even if they never say it aloud for ask for any credits. Little forms of love and dedication is how they show their appreciation for someone. And sometimes they can be hard on themselves for not being able to show their feelings of love in grander or ‘heartfelt’ ways (they compare themselves to other signs a lot, and admire them for things they cannot do). 
It probably benefited her a lot to be in a group, because her Virgo moon wants to help serve and be appreciated for her work and the effort she put into caring for others. She feels more useful in group settings than alone. Although they’re reserved, that doesn’t mean they like to be alone all the time. 
They can have pretty low self-esteem which can lead to insecurities or self-destructive behaviour. They can feel like they’re not enough, not ‘good’ enough not ‘productive’ enough. They’re the type to be on a feedback loop, since they work on responses. If they feel they aren’t ‘good’ enough they ‘work’ on it immediately. They don’t tend to dwell in the feelings. 
It’s a bad habit that should be taken in moderation, I really think being around the members helps her so much with regulating it and not putting herself down too much. She also seems much happier to be around them because she knows they appreciate her and gives her the satisfaction she needs. 
They possess great professionalism. Her Aries has an energizing, pro-active entrepreneurial spirit, and it’s amplified by Virgo’s high standards making her a responsible and take certain initiatives that will help others around her. 
Being a leader for her might’ve felt complicated since emotionally, she’s uncomfortable being in the spotlight (Virgo moon) but at the same time, she won’t say no to a challenge. She’s pretty daring like this right? She won’t give up before she tries and that’s for anything she does.  
Virgos are naturally curious, and they tend to be critical when making an argument. This can lead to her offering cold and sometimes unsympathetic but very practical advice to others. To water-moons this can be extremely infuriating, but often times it’s meant to help them better themselves. She cares for others, even though her devotion and compassion may be misunderstood. She’s gentle and moderate and often- practices emotional discipline. 
With how the public holds her in such high standards, I’m sure she realizes to a certain extent that it’s something she doesn’t like to talk about. Virgos’ already prone to being self-critical, when it’s in her moon and she’s often in a society that talks constantly about her look -it can put on unnecessary and weight and pressure on her to evaluate herself every single turn. Without proper self-confidence or esteem it can be crushing to the generally shy native Virgos. They don’t even like the spot light being on them since it generally means their life is going to get hectic and messy. 
People of this combo typically prefers honesty and simplicity. There’s really nothing more to Arian or Virgo natives than their need to have a clean, simplified and pure people around them. They tend to live simply and likes streamlining everything, often times they know it’ll help progress everything much faster if people would just listen to them more. 
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(how can u look at this gif and not think she’s a virgo? uwu precious soft baby 💕)  
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Kang Seul Gi 
February 10 1994 (Gyeonggi-do, Korea) - Aquarius Sun/Aquarius Moon
God I love her, I love her even more when I realize she’s a Taurus rising according to her birth time (11.30am - thank you Natal Goddess Sunmi!! 💕)
Seulgi has her sun in the 3rd decan, ruled by Venus/Libra. Her beauty and charm is so alluring - she turns heads just by being herself! People with Venus/Libra ruling their Sun (ego/self-expression) tends to have this charming and attractive aura about them.  
In her Aquarius sun it brings about good fortune and popularity since her individuality stands out even more. You know how she doesn’t have a conventional-style pretty face? That’s the effect of Venus-ruled Aquarian natives. 
It also makes the Aquarius more romantic. Although they are notoriously known for their aloof and standoffish traits, Aquarius can be incredibly romantic especially in this position. They can match the emotional intensity water-signs have in their affection, and their devotion to those that they love are massive. 
Aquarius natives under this influence still retains their eccentric and unique personality. Although it’s softened considerably they can be obstinately stubborn (even more with her Taurus rising). 
They love hanging out with people, especially loved ones. And they’re excitable and joyous to be around. People with Venus ruled Libra in their sun (ego) generally prefers to keep peace and resolve any confrontation through charm or wit instead. 
It also makes them a bit brighter in their aura, and they tend to be more optimistic and less argumentative than any of their Aquarius counterparts. 
She’s friendly to those around her and Aquarius are known for their open-mindedness and easy to talk to personality. However, it can also lead to being strong-headed and persistence, even stubborn natured sometimes when it comes to perfecting something they view as their artistry - since it fuels their ego directly.
Seulgi’s hard work and determination is fueled partially through her self-expression and ego. She has pride in her work, and her work should be aesthetically pleasing. Her connections to her craft and artistry has to be expressed fully, and she gets naggy if it’s not. 
In a way, Aquarius ruled by Libra are kind of similar to Virgos but less severe. Their dedication to perfecting their work, or things they sees as important is very faithful to their craft. Individuality and self-expression takes on a turn that’s much more serious than Aquarian natives tends to realize.
There’s a strong emphasis on harmonic energy and self-expression that comes intuitively to her. 
With her Aquarius Moon in 2nd Decan, her mind and ability to connect to people makes her so expressive to be around. Her moods and emotions are influenced by Mercury/Gemini- which means it changes rapidly and you can see it all in her face sometimes. 
When innovation (Aquarius) combined thinking/expression (Mercury) - Seulgi’s mind can think of really ingenious and fresh original ideas that no one had thought of before. 
She is quick-witted and a fast thinker, has intellectual abilities that analyzes situations and come up with solutions through thinking logically and unconventionally. 
She is also very pleasant speaker who sun’s charming element really helps to grabs everyone’s respect through her moon/mind’s abilities. 
She’s not necessarily emotional, but her sun’s romantic qualities more than makes up for her with it. She’s not the type to rush into relationships, butshe’s willing to devote herself in romantic affections than the typical aloof Aquarius archetypes. 
This combination under the rule of the Decans really lucked out on her, because she even if tends to use her head more, she has a lot of tender affection she’s willing to give. Her communication skills really helps balance and keeps things along, and she’s amazingly devoted to those that she loves. 
One thing though, she can be so charming and alluring through both her sun/moon Decan that she tends to come across as flirty/attract others to her even if she was just being friendly.  
As an Air sign Aquarius are much more prone to jealousy than Libra/Gemini. Usually when it comes to intelligence, they want to know that their mind and vision inspires others or influence them most. 
Seulgi might be jealous too sometimes, when she feels overlooked or overshadowed by others. Although she probably won’t throw a fit about it, she can get sulky and hurt. 
(Seulgi’s part is shorter because I’m going to do a full chart analysis of her later! I wanted to save some stuff for those 💗)
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Son Seung Wan (Wendy) 
[Edit: i got her birthday wrong sdjkfn her moon placement have changed, this is an edited section! I’ll post Pisces sun/Leo moon sometime later for those who have the placements so you can read it]
February 21 1994 (Seoul, Korea) Pisces Sun/Gemini Moon 
Gemini 3rd decan (Uranus/Aquarius) 
Let’s touch on her moon first this time! Wendy’s moon is a Gemini in 3rd decan, which is ruled by Uranus/Aquarius. 
It’s such a great placement because it gives her introverted water sun a social placement to channel all that energy through! It also balances her out, making her more stable and ambivert instead of just introspective that Pisces sun tends to do.
Now Air-moons in general needs a lot of mental stimuli and activities to feel rejuvenated, usually they’re the types to need to hang out with friends at all time, especially with an Aquarius influence she often appears more socially active than the rest of her members.
Aquarius/Uranus decan rules the eleventh house, which is the house of friends and social groups. She’s a very friend-oriented individual. Despite needing time alone to contemplate about stuff (Pisces sun) she wants to hang out with people all the time. Her Gemini moon is pretty reactive (like a fire-sign) there’s a nervous energy to it that needs immediate gratification to get out.  
The difference between Wendy’s Gemini Moon (Aquarius decan) and Seulgi’s Aquarius moon (Libra decan) is that in Gemini are a bit more practical and callous than Libra. Whilst Libra is selective, open and often compromising Gemini tends to be more quick-witted, absorbant and more interested in just having more conversations than selecting those people. To Libra, there’s a subtle reserved quality to it that Gemini don’t tend to have.
In Gemini Moons there’s also a stronger need to external responses, social media and talking to people. She tends to be the type of roommate who would probably want to talk and actually connect with who she’s living with, rather than approach them cautiously or expect them to start conversations all the time.
Gemini makes great conversationalists, and they’re pretty open-minded and free-spirited. Combined with Aquarius influence she tends to make friends in heaps and loads. She’s very friendly and very expressive, tends to be out-going (even if she needs time alone for her Pisces sun) and are very easy to talk to. 
Although Gemini gets a reputation for being kind of short-attention, fake, indecisive and wishy-washy, they’re not. It’s their curiousity and that drives them, if they’re engaged in something they’re rational and logical about their approach. 
You can’t absorb information in just one sitting (no matter what Sagittarius or Capricorn may say). They know that the way to learn is to take it in smaller steps. You shouldn’t study something for more than 30 minutes at a time, because that’s how attention span works. Gemini utilize this, they’re intelligent and up-beat to be around because they know how to manage and accept common sense.
There’s something so eye catching about Wendy, her Pisces sun definitely gave her that look of someone otherworldly but it’s her wit and the Uranus influence on her Moon that gives her eyes a sharp and playful edge. She seems honest and willing to listen to others, which  is a very big asset to her success.  
She has a dreamy, whimsical sense of self-expression and it comes through on her face. Wendy’s ‘unreal’ beauty is actually her Pisces sun working to weave her subconscious and reality together and giving her that soft, dreamy vibes. 
Wendy’s sun (self-expression) is hidden underneath her moon’s exterior. The air moon really projected itself outward, because there’s more of a need for interactions and activities. Her emotional growth depends on it more so than her personal one. 
To Wendy, she probably believes more in her ability to talk and her intellect rather than charm them into being attracted to her. It’s much more important for these placements that there’s someone who understands and appreciates their intellect more than their looks. Since Pisces is pretty shy, she might often use her moon to compensate for  her sun, which can lead to her suppressing her Pisces (ego/self confidence) instead. This isn’t healthy and it can lead to more insecurities about herself as well as comparison to others, since her air-moon will always try to connect everything to the outside world - her Pisces sun (ego) might be hurt and feel helpless in this situation.
There’s benefits to having a Pisces moon, and she should make sure to take advantage of that! She can be wise instead of just intelligent and smart, there’s a difference. She gives all sorts of good advice when she actually sits down and let her Sun take control for a second. 
Pisces usually make their advice from inside of the person, whilst Gemini seeks to find advice externally.  With her suppressing her Pisces, she might not feel as confident or connected to her own self-expression and confidence, she might lose control of knowing who she really is beneath the overwhelming Gemini moon that she has. But she should believe that there’s something really ingenious and authentic in her Pisces that she could use to help others.The pisces sun has been through the cycle of the zodiac, and they’re very compassionate in nature. 
Reasons why she might not trust her Pisces sun compared to her Gemini moon are various. First of all, the Gemini moon already tries to exude or imitate an ‘external’ self already. This is just how Geminis are in any placement of a person. (They’re the twins, so if someone has Gemini in different placements on their chart, they tend to have different gemini ‘personas’ for each of those signs as well) 
Pisces suns are pretty adaptable, but at the same time they can be nervous and unreliable. Sure they’ll be there for people, but if a situation isn’t turning out well, they’re way more fluid and adaptable and would probably be gone before it even turns awry. 
Pisces can often be often misunderstood. They tend to spend a good portion of their life yearning for understanding from society, this might also be why she seek to use her Gemini Moon so much because this way, she can make up for the insecurities her Pisces sun might feel. 
Since Pisces is ruled by Neptune, they can sometimes idealize or romanticize concepts- even toxicity and suffering can be made into self-delusions into thinking it’s a good thing to suffer. Sure, she thinks it’s troublesome and maybe she’s kind of sick of herself, but learning to love and accept part of you, to cherish part of you is so so important. As soon as she learn this, her Sun will immediately shine brighter and help her improve her overall stability so much more. 
Pisces suns are great at seeing the bigger picture, since they’re bigger dreamers as well. They’re calming and comfortable to be around because they exude that aura of understanding about them. There’s a deep love for humanity in Pisces, but the tiny little details of daily life can escape them. 
With all the energy the moon brings she might have a tendency to under appreciate her sun. There’s abit of a confusion here because even though she’s confident and head strong in her ability to choose people wisely and connect with others, she does want to be appreciated for her softer qualities that she doesn’t do for herself sometimes. It can be deeply hopelessly romantic with her. 
Those who compliments her intellect are nice, and she’s proud of that. But what really touches her heart is when someone notices her compassionate, giving and kind nature. Because she herself doesn’t acknowledge her own sun sometimes (or forget about it) 
Her Pisces qualities is often neglected more often when it’s pushed back in lure of social interaction, there’s just no time for bringing it out when she’s too busy living in the now. 
Make sure to take care of her softer heart and let it be heard instead of silencing or denying it would benefit her so much, I’m sure she’ll work on it soon. 
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Park Soo Young (Joy) 
September 3, 1996 (Jeju Island, Korea)   Virgo Sun/ Taurus Moon
god look at this beauty queen
Both her Virgo sun and Taurus moon are in decans that are influenced by Capricorn, Joy is really our Earthy Queen since that means she has all three earth signs in her chart.
Decans are like the overarching tonality in your life on how it influences the placements, so with her Virgo sun and Taurus moon- there’s a slow moving but stead-fast determined presence about her that’ll get her through hardships in life.
Since Saturn is kind of somber and solemn, influencing both her ego/self-expression and her emotions she can be alot more serious and critical than what we see.
This also makes her kind of awkward when she’s uncomfortable, she’s definitely professional and she does her job well- but you can see that she’s very stiff when she’s dealing with strangers (not like Irene who’s reserved but is confident in herself. but rather, Joy is more like she doesn’t know how to deal with things when it’s not familiar or objective)
As soon as she opens up however (familiarize herself) she’s much more out-going and warm with the people around her (Taurus Moon). 
Often very forward, direct and appreciates the same sentiment. (Earth Signs) It can throw people off because they’re very touchy and loving, even though they won’t say it or express it lightly. (Taurus Moon) 
WGM with Sungjae? That’s Joy after she’s comfortable with people. You can be sure they’ve hung out outside, and he’s probably great at getting people to open up with sincerity because that’s the only thing that will make her comfortable around you. 
To be honest, out of all the members she probably has the hardest placement to go through. Since Saturn is influencing her life, she probably has to face different circumstances and more oppositions compared to the other members in order to get to where she is today.
Lower rating on her TV shows might hurt her emotionally/self-confidence (all earth signs takes great pride in their work and capabilities), but she has such set determination and practicality in her that she knows she’ll do better and better and eventually- when she’s won an award, she might burst out crying since it’s so very important to her. 
There’s so much emphasis here on her work ethic, it’s her life and goals. She wants to be appreciated and respected for her abilities and ambition. If she does something she wants to do it right, she doesn’t care if she does it right the first time or the second time, as long as she achieved credibility and helped inspire people around her.(She’ll preen)  
She has a lot of feelings when it comes to work as well as domestic life, you can tell she’s abit more of a homebody too. Family is important to her, but so are close friends. 
She’s the type to hang out with people she’s close to exclusively since she’s much more comfortable with them. So when you see that she’s not hanging out with her actor friends, don’t worry that they haven’t invited her. Most likely, she probably panicked and tried to get out of it because earth-signs themselves can be kind of introverted in a very reclusive/hermit way. She probably breathed a sign of relief, because social interactions really isn’t much of her strong point unless it’s one-on-one. 
Joy’s not the type to get upset or emotional when it comes to people hurting her feelings. In fact she can easily shrug it off, it doesn’t matter because they don’t know her. What she does care about however, is someone accusing her of not doing her job well or 
Her quiet and intimidating aura definitely came from how Capricorn rules her chart, the way she looks? That’s some hefty dose of earth-sign charm right there. It’s irresistible and it’s full of confidence, it’s not like how Libra-Venus or Fire-signs come across at all. It’s so refreshing to see in the entertainment industry.  
She definitely prefers deeper talks and conversations than lighter subjects, and we’re not talking about just discussing politics or philosophical definitions. Joy would rather hear personal stories, things that matters most to people and the vulnerabilities. 
She’s easily but deeply moved by people’s sincerity and hardship, extremely compassionate to others pains since she’s been through so much herself as well. It touches her and she feels like she could trust them to be honest with her, establishing a stronger bond with those around her than just wishy washy subjects/people. 
She’s all about deep conversations in the middle of the nights and sharing vulnerabilities, since she has a lot of strength to give. 
Earth signs are also physically affectionate, and who ever says you can’t pair pragmatism with warmer sentimental emotions are liars. All of her earth signs placements are known to appreciate and love affections, especially physical ones. 
Her Taurus moon needs loves and hugs, as she is also adept at giving good ones to others who needs them. Although she seems cold, she’s actually rather warm instead. 
Taurus moon are earthy and sentimental. They can be hard-headed due to the influences (Capricorn/Taurus) but they are determined and strong-willed.
There’s a comforting aura about them that makes them easy to talk to, and they love to joke and make others feel good around them by just being themselves.
Familiarity is important to Taurus moon and they’re not prone to changing much about themselves if they feel they’re doing well. 
Criticism can also just slide right off of them, although Virgo sun would probably effect her self-confidence, her emotions wouldn’t actually feel hurt because they tend to suppress negative emotions in order to amplify positive ones. 
This can lead to outburst or really angry tirade, Taurus Moon anger is unhinged, it’s absolutely terrifying the way you’d expect fire-signs to be but they’re not. Heck, even fire-signs are scared because there’s weight and intensity to Taurean anger. She should take care not to let her emotions build up, be a bit more receptive and accepting of the uglier side of herself. 
As well as let other people try to support her sometimes. There can be a heavy emphasis on self-reliance or a need for independent in her chart, but knowing and learning to be more sensitive inside of herself would really help her become astute to her own feelings.
Taurus is ruled by Venus, and there’s definitely a softer, warmer charm to her personality. They’re deeply sentimental, and their stead-fast devotion and dedication can make the people around them fall head over heels for them- not even romantically but just as she is.
Her attractiveness and warmth in her eyes are definitely a Taurus moon trait, and her serene personality is calming to those around.
Most often she’s probably one of the most reliable member in the team, emotionally she’s incredibly strong albeit she might need help when she suppress them so much. Remember when she cried talking to Black Pink? She’s incredibly empathetic to other’s emotions. 
All her earth signs placement has a love for simplicity and ‘natural’ stuff in her life. They have a need to streamline and organize things into structure, before setting about doing ‘tasks’ to get it done.
If she ever comes across as intentionally unsympathetic to others, often it’s because the person probably isn’t that great of a person. Earth signs have such a strong emphasis on being noble, honest and distinguished. They hold themselves and others at a higher-standards morally, they absolutely would not stand it when other people are dishonest or unmoral. 
There’s a sense that she shines bright, and that’s from her aura of self-sufficiency and self-contentment - this is very Virgo sun. They tend to come across as keenly observant of themselves and their surroundings, and able to keep up with the pace of the world but with amazing stability within themselves. 
Virgo suns are also easily embarrassed, despite their shyness and discomfort in the spotlight. Joy can be exceptionally good at keeping a poker face when she wants to be professional due to her Capricorn’s influence, however she gets really easily embarrassed when its personal things. (the behind the scene kiss on her drama? she’s unmoved! it’s just a job!) 
There’s a need to feel useful and appreciated in her life, if she has a few free-days that’s fine. But inactivity can really drive Virgo natives up a wall if they feel they aren’t doing something ‘good/productive’ lately. Maybe they tend to be useful to someone, or serve them in voluntary position of some kind. But they like activities and often times can lead to doing or instigating charity project for others around them.
Taureans have a connection to the outside material world, so when they’re hungry - HANGRY really is a true emotion. 
Also if you have a hard time imagining what Taurus Moon would be like and how romantic they are....they’re the type to dedicate an entire song to you but also call you up to use a small voice recording of your voice in it as well. (Hobi’s Mama) That’s some heart-thumping take-my-entire-life shit 
She’s probably also a little terrified of big changes or stages in her life (Taurus Moon). She did come from Jeju, a relatively small island town into the big city. 
People with sensitivity to their environment tends to cry alot but with earth signs all around her- all her feelings are probably suppressed deep deep down. She doesn’t want to burden anyone else with her emotions or her problems, but she should let it out as soon as it happens - the digging feeling inside her chest would only grow if she doesn’t and she can easily be impassive later on in life. 
Her showing real actual emotions would be better than keeping it in, even when she feels like she has nothing to contribute or express- be sure to just let it go and it’ll come naturally. Trust in herself and her feelings more. 
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Kim Ye Rim (Yeri)
March 5, 1999 (Seoul, Korea)  Pisces Sun/Libra Moon 
Once again we’re back at it with our girl Yeri! 
Since I didn’t touch on her decans last time I’m going to go focus more into this now.
Yeri’s Pisces sun is in the 2nd house, ruled by the Moon/Cancer. Out of all the pisces decans, they’re highly intuitive and in touch with their emotions. Sometimes their intuition can be so strong and so precise that it might even seem like six sense. 
Since Pisces is ruled by Neptune, people with these decans often feel older than how they actually are. The realms of their subconscious and ability to drift in the inner conscious is so vast and expansive, that often they might appear to have precognitive abilities or just sense danger before it actually happens instead.
Yeri’s Pisces Sun influenced by her Cancer decan also would reflect on how harsh she would take things like death sometimes. Since it’s missing a piece of Scorpio who rules transformation and life-rebirth, immediate change in the external world can be very jarring and ‘sink’ them down very easily despite the emotional barrier Cancer may carry with them. 
Their feelings are highly fluctuated and affected, and they can feel things so deeply that is projected from their environment that they tend to break down crying often if they’re feeling emotionally vulnerable. 
With her sun being influenced by the moon, she has a deep profound bond and connection to other people’s feelings as well.
Not only is she more adept at understanding her own emotions and getting through her own problems, she has a highly keen empathetic bond and is soothing/serene to be around. 
She gives great foresighted advice that may seem wise and well-beyond her years, as well as emanate an aura of reliability about her that tells people everything’s going to be alright. 
It’s often easier for her to give than to take however, and this is prone to her Libra moon. 
Becareful to not let emotions interfere with her reasoning, as she would often confuse and use her intuition to make logical decisions instead of consulting a rational solution. It can be great, but it can also be harmful in sensitive time. 
Her Libra moon is in it’s 2nd decan as well, which is influenced by Aquarius/Uranus energy. These people tends to be a bit harder to crack down than the typical Libraen trait. 
They can come across as proud, strong-willed and willing to confront in order to defend their ideals/positions more than any other air signs. 
Aquarius also ruled the 11th house, which Libra vibrates excitably at getting the chance to interact with friends, hopes, wishes and social activities more. 
The 11th house is social interactions with people and having this influence in her life- especially for her Moon means that she’ll get the benefit of flaunting her softer lighter trait in social groups even more.
 Often validations and approvals comes from people who knows/are close to her because she has an innate ability of exceptionally joining sociability to sensitivity and understanding others. 
Since Uranus (intellect) influences her Libra’s Venus (romance) she’s less likely to fall into traps or be emotionally vulnerable around people no matter how she much she wants to. This is important, because Aquarius energy on her moon keeps her from doing too much, feeling too much, and it can be restricting for her sometimes but ultimately- it’ll be a good backbone for her. 
She might lash out due to how logical and critical she is sometimes, and she’s frustrated at herself because the rest of sun/moon is harmonic, and there’s just this nagging interference. But she has to understand how to accept it, love it and work with it instead.
She’s sentimental and romantic for sure, but behind all that Yeri makes sure she makes her decisions based on wits and logic. Although her Pisces sun might be a bit uncomfortable with that, her emotions/inner self would never let it overtake her. 
Since it is a decan, it might be something she has to learn instead of an ingrained ability. She’ll have to grow into learning how to use her logical side the Uranus brings in her moon to inform more of her emotional responses and decisions. But ultimately it is a healthy balancing placement for her to have. 
She’s strong, this girl. And she can take a lot of pressure, but to deal with it sometimes she can tend suppress the feelings her Pisces sun/self. Make sure to let it out sometimes, tell someone how hurt she is and be honest with herself in the comfort of people she knows and cares about would help a lot. 
💕These are actually really easier to do than just individual member, they’re much less taxing as well! Although I started this before I did the KTH post, I ended up finishing it much later just because I was having a hard time grooming through Irene’s part. God, anyways the only hard thing about this post is having all the members chart pulled up at the same time but otherwise it’s been really fun! 💕
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Emotions
Do you ever feel like... Things are so great but theres this one part of your life you wish you could change so that you could be more confident in yourself? Fair warning: If you're my sister this might hurt you. So read at your own risk. I do. Its like this small splinter that I just can't block out anymore. When I was younger, I had none of my mother's attention. I was basically an outcast in my own family. There was even a time where my own sister called me a "mistake" which my mother quickly rejected the thought. Getting upset at my sister who said it. But Deep inside I was hurt, because I even thought of that. But I couldn't tell my mom that at the time. I was so quiet, I never asked for money to go to sports events. Even though I wanted to. I always did most of the chores, and sometimes ended up staying home alone. Because my sister... Well she had depression and she was trying to recover. Me on the other hand, I was the completely stable kid. Only slight behavioral issues. Some lying and some defiance, but in the end I was still a good kid. I usually confided in my mom's fiancee, who I considered my dad. I trusted him and he made good out of that trust. Teaching me about life and such. I felt like I belonged, but it was still hurting. I wanted my mom back in my life, but it was always about my big sister... I get my sister has issues, but now I'm scared to even do anything. On my sister's graduation, I decided to tell my sister what sort of dress I wanted to wear. It was the cutest thing, and I loved it. I felt excited! I was going to be feminine for once! nope. My sister convinces me to be matching with her, and we get one pieces. Along with sunflower bracelets. I'm standing there accepting it, looking in the mirror. I looked good, but I was hurt. My heart was hurting because I voiced it. I said what I wanted to wear, but I couldn't push back to say. HEY! I wanna do this! Now I'm just a confused gal trying to making past the next marker and survive. Yeah, I don't have depression. But I have anxiety in a different form. I don't have panic attacks, I just randomly start biting my nails or I start to pick my face. If theres a pimple, I pop it. I try to stop myself, and recently I've been able to avoid overall my face. My nails however... Theres been alot of people telling me to get a nail polish for it, but thats not the solution I want. I want to feel like I dont need to bite my nails, I want to feel comfortable. But I'm still nervous. My sister's left the house, but there are times where I'm scared that my mother. Who I have an amazing relationship with now, will leave me again. Then run off and push her own body to satisfy my sister's wants. Again, I said "Wants". Everything's been about what my sister wants. She doesn't want to do anything. I have to do everything. Chores are too much for her, I have to do them all. There was even a point in time where I was in my room, peacefully resting. Suddenly my dad bursts into the door, telling me the floors flooded with water. I yell back that my sister had done the dishes today(for once). She had forgotten to turn the water off afterwards. After that incident, I usually did the dishes. I had to make sure I get them done in the mornings before I went to school too. And to do that I woke up at 5-6 am. Got ready, all dressed and packed up. Then I went onto the bus at 7-7:30. I was a tired kid, but I managed to get pretty good grades in all my classes. But for some reason, my sister didn't get very good grades. Which confused me, what was she spending all her time on? Oh. Friends. That's what. So I was mostly on my own since I never felt like I belonged in a certain group. So I just... Walked away, Idk why im saying all this in a tumblr post. Maybe its because I secretly want my sister to see how bad I was hurt. How badly I was affected... I have a part of me that blames her for alot of things. Small little splinters that slowly sunk in. My discomfort for the color yellowish-green. (it was a nice shirt too... Ended up giving it
to her.) My concern over money. (She'd always end up going everywhere and I got concerned if my mom could afford it, so I just didn't go.) My fear of being hurt by people. (She'd say things like this person has a bad aura, when in reality this person just looked suspicious.) The fact that I don't have much hobbies since me and her had similar interests. (I always felt like I was her shadow, and when I started to get into things, she just went like "Oh... ok bye!") The sheer lack of attention I got. She was always hogging my mom's attention. Leaving me all alone and I barely knew anything about my mom. At one point my dad told me to go get a gift for my mom. I didn't know what to get. I was crying so hard because this wasn't my fault. After that, my dad apologized to me. Same with my mom, they both apologized. Then alot of crazy stuff happened including her moving out. (the moving out part I want to keep seperate.) I learned about my mom, about everything she likes. She saw how little she knew about me as well, and pretty soon she felt guilt as well. How could she tell me to get her something, when she knew nothing about me. For my 12th birthday I asked for rollerskates. We went to ripleys aquarium, and I was throughly enjoying myself. We saw the shrimp and the jellyfish. All the creatures in the sea was so fun to see... But then.... On my birthday- My sister suddenly says that she's anxious. (too many people around for her). Of course, I'm considerate but sometimes I wish I just put my foot down and said **"No! I wanna stay longer!"** But of course, I was the good kid. So hey! Yeah, I felt all this. So a part of me hates you, but I still care about you. You're my sister, but did you ever really... Love me? Thats my question for you. Instead of crying, I want you to really think. Whenever you gave me something, was it really something that made me happy? Or was it something that made only you happy? Because the more I think of the past, the more I remember the times when I fake smiled. Following in your footsteps because you were always talking about your own issues when in reality you should've only spoken to a therapist like I did. When shit got rough in school, I saw a therapist. I talked about my issues, there were even times when I just asked if I could have a nap or eat some lunch. It was the best place to just unwind. -AH! another thing that confused the fuck outta me. A really fricking nice teacher spent lots of money on you, gave you a place to hang out at during lunchtime. Was supportive even outside of school. Then suddenly you say "No I didn't like them.." **WHAT? THEY HELPED SO MUCH AND YOU SAY THAT?? IM SO CONFUSED?** I loved that teacher btw, they were very supportive and always set up academic bowl and were really supportive. There was this one time I got sick on a trip, then when I finally got home. I got much better. But that teacher kept checking on me, and making sure I had some food into me as I shivered from my illness. That teacher was the best, and they were always really huggy and comfortable. They are a taurus so it makes sense they had this motherly feel around them. Anyways- thats my piece for today. I just really needed to let this out.
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actualtree · 4 years
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i have. a kind of old shou ramble under the cut. This is copied and pasted directly from my google docs so its probably a little bit incoherent
Okay, so. While I’m figuring out todays shou week prompt*, I’m going to. Ramble real quick. Feel free to scroll on by!  Im not confident that this will fully make sense, but Id like to get my thoughts out there! *(YES this is how long ago I made this ramble, I posted it to a couple of places and theres been some Good Takes :D))
So i was thinkin about how shou is a misfit, n of course my first thought is “oh his powers to mess with refraction of light” bc thats not exactly an offensive ability, its all stealth unlike the rest of the main four espers. You could argue that chloropathy isn’t an offensive ability but mobs use of it has been self defense, so it isnt a stealth ability either. 
BUT that brings the question of how shou gets by without espers noticing him. Shimazaki was like “wow i didn't know there were espers who could do that :0” when he thought reigen was hiding his presence. HOWEVER Shou could stand directly by mutou, mob, and ritsu without being detected (he could also sneak up on ritsu and the gang undetected)) and Touichirou couldn’t find him when he disappeared (one more note, someone on amino pointed out that ritsu ALSO didn’t detect shou at the door)). He could also slip past Touichirou without being detected (ex in the manga when touichirou got really confused when he couldn't find shou after touichirou made his world domination announcement, implying he was there earlier and was able to just. Leave fully unnoticed)). Perhaps the presence of other espers would maybe make him harder to detect, but every espers aura is pretty distinct so if one knew what to look for they should be able to find him. But no one seems to!
I cant help but wonder if invisibility/ messing with the refraction of light is super uncommon? Or if it’s uncommon for even espers with this power to figure out how to completely erase their presence? It’s very interesting! In this house we appreciate a skilled boy! 
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