#so sorry idk the main presenter’s name 💀 I DON’T GO HERE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crystalavengerva · 1 year

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hiii i would like to hear about these ocs you speak of… if you don’t mind!

Omg omg omg okay someone actually asking about them makes me so legitimately happy 😭😭💕 thank you

For context:

Spidernote was a fanfiction I wrote in middle school about live action light turner, Peter Parker, and regular light yagami and Zac Efron going to high school together. I’m not sure why or how it started. It was supposed to be this joke or prank or smth on my friend but idk how???? Lmao. But I grew too starched to the characters and they became near unrecognizable from any source material and I’ve been rotating them in my head for years like a little eternal microwave plate.

(I apologize in advance. Some of this will be told through screenshots because last time I tried to copy and paste my Tumblr crashed 💀)

Leon and Lottie

This relationship is a bit iffy but I believe I still did alright haha.

They look very similar and they’re both very extroverted people.

But I also enjoy the alliteration here, both focus on L.

Saying Lo and Lee together brings to mind the ideas of Nabokov’s Lolita (and his use of ‘master hand’ throughout is something I’d want to mimic, to make the artist intrinsic to the work) (sorry im just ramblinfnffdhdh)

Oh! Their sounds are also mirrors here as well!!! Leon (eee-oh) and Lottie (oh-eee) (although hers is more of an ah/aw)

The main focus though is on the double L, they’re connected. They’re similar.

(Also Charlotte has French origins and Le is the in French so)

Leon and Agnus

Agnus may seem like the odd one out of the bunch here and she very much is. She’s been separated from reality/the rest of the world on and off again the past few years and is very different from others.

But my favorite thing here is this:

Leon means Lion but Agnus means Lamb. Like ISNT THAT SO COOL!!!!!!! I could go into their dynamic and how that relates but aghheheh

Agnus and Lo

Charlotte is actually a diminutive of Charles and means "free man" and "petite"

The focus here is on petite. Lottie is obsessed with her self presentation and her execution of femininity. She feels inadequate as a woman. Agnus is the opposite and has lost her ability to truly care about anything. The idea of being little/small is something that drives Lo a lot in her search to be the perfect woman. Agnus represents pureness and chastity (lamb symbolism as well as name meaning). Anyways i could write a lot here about the two views and performances on/of feminity and actually how el and Leon execute masculinity differently and how that’s a connecting point between them and aghhahhh)

(Info abt Elliot I wrote to myself in the iOS notes app when I was insane:)

ELLIOT RAMBLINGZ

elliot did not grow up in a stable environment. his parents weren't exactly poor but they aren't like rich. he lives with his mom and her brother so his uncle but they weren't super stabel because his father died in military service when he was young. he grew up in a not great neighborhood. part of the military service is like elliot's grandparents were immigrants from china i still have to flesh out stuff. it was about the idea he had to earn his place in the united states...anywayz he has like really messed up views on masculinity because his father died "bravely" in combat and his mother and uncle had really high expectations and he just never was that good at school and his uncle never liked that he was so weak and frail. he didn't have the best constitution. as a kid he'd get sick a lot and not interract with others. he felt like he had to fend for himself a lot growing up and constantly worried about being part of other's lives but could not find stability. he learned to shut himself up. to suck things up. one very kdfjdlskfjsdf okay sorry like words cant rn. there was an extremely formative experience he had when he was younger of going into a convenience store gas station place and was upset and anyways a gunman bust in and he was held up (along with everyone else in the store) and he froze up, he started to cry and he gave his money to the guy ebcause he was so scared. and his uncle was not happy and bad stuff happened sorry this makes me sound so dumb and lame im like "erm i have such ocol charactersz" but theyerelrkelkh

anyeays ermm he was physically abused and traumatized but felt so insecure about not being brave like those around him, not protecting himself. his whole life he was called not a real man, he wasn't brave enough or strong enough. he's seen people hurt people he liked, people he had once liked hurt him. the earth hurt too much. he is like one of those cynical edgy teenage boys who's not exactly an incel but like you know the vobeim talking about? he hates himself. he feels like hes not enough and is constantly suffering under this toxic idea of masculinity and projecting an image of strength despite being scared. but he projects all of this insecurity outward. he can't trust people. he sees any kindness as faking he sees niceness as all for a manipulative reason and he projects it as like violence sometiems like he genuinely ahas thought about killing people but is too much of a "coward" to actually do it. He’s not a great person but he’s caught in this constant spiral.

erm but anywayz its going to utilize a lot of the techniques established by nabokov in lolita and marquez in 100 yrs of solitude. these are the characters, but its kind of like a story about the individual who would write this. interlaced throughout is the idea of writing, the impossibility of what's written. these are characters in a story (not going completely into brecht's Verfremdungseffekt but definitely pulling attention into how the ideas and temperments of an individual influence the work.) how the ideas of story is magic, how storytellers take part in stories and how audiences take part of them. this is actually very similar to some of the topics addressed by ryukishi in the no naku koro ni (wtc) series especially in umineko. and spidernotes like ties into this idea of identity in story...which retroactively its just...really cool....spider (weaving webs, creation, the tangled and complex nature of the self) and notes (stories, ideas, writing) the transfixing of the soul into the written form...like. like all of the characters have a piece of me (me as in the personnae of an author, as in the narrator in a sense, even if me isn't the narrator) i as a creator and fundamentally tied to this. this may seem in contradiction to barthes "le mort d'author" (the death of the author) and his post-structuralist ideas to connect my work so intrinsically with my life, but i disagree. i find lolita, for example, to be an extremely post-modernist work. they are ideas that can be interpreted beyond their logical symbols. the story is not without this ability for interpretation, like that,, it's about inrerpretation and kdjfkdjfh the mutability of peoprkerek. though i do need to look bsck on the ideas of literary theory as posited by the framework fathers of modernism,,cannot remember his name. i believe it was richard. in a sense i wonder if brecht would think in a more modernist perspective rather than postmodernist because the initial language of symbols (as that is what modernims is based on) would be like bsed on the dichotomy of theatre vs life. like the idea of modernism is very interesting, especially, liek the dichotomiy sorry OFF TOPIC OF MY OWN RANT.

Writing them out makes my ideas seem very shallow lmaoo 😭😭😭

But anywhozzley, literally every part of this stuff pretty much has a thematic or character reason for existence. Like their appearances aren’t arbitrary and each choice is deliberate and. I just have thought about them too much and literally any questions about them or this concept or what the story is about I shall cherish forever. So feel free to analyze or critique or comment or ask questions because this made me so happy to have an excuse to talk about them but also obviously you don’t have to. Thank you 😭😭😭😭

(Agnes and Leon. They never have the right hair texture for them it’s so sad. Their hair is more curly😔)

#legit thank you #made my evening to see this ask #thank you so much 😭💖💖💖#i Hope you like or if you have thoughts please lmk I don’t care what if you think anything about this i wanna hear

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