#so this weekend im going to revise it like a madman. i am DETERMINED to send something in

[claratyler]

omg being a composer SUCKS lol, its literally just working your ass off for an intensive competition that calls for the randomest instrument combinations and insanest requirements known to man, which means you DONT have a piece that fits those requirements, which means you have to write something new FROM SCRATCH in a very short period of time only for you to not even win loool and then you have a Very Specific piece that doesnt fit in any other call for scores lool

#man this 2023 is the year of entering ALL CALL FOR SCORES AND COMPETITIONS #okay maybe not all because some of them have lik 70 dollar entry fee like come on man. come on #also some of them ideologically ARE INCOMPATIBLE #but anyway you get the idea #i mean if we try to be positive i guess i'd say that at least those intensive composing sessions DO make you improve #sometimes. sometimes you just present a garbage #anyway regardless of where i am and where i am not successful in these submissions #i actually have A LOT to compose anyway. bassonist asked for his piece.a sextet asked for a piece as well. and i still have to finish #my horn piece. WHICH i finally got to complete my second draft of today! #might need maybe 1-3 more drafts before its Done Done though. oh god. feeling a bit overwhelmed in this chilis #for like the past week ive been doing quite well. been quite productive and working during the day. but that doesnt stop me from #losing my absolute shit every night because im like AA AI HAVE SO MUCH TO DO AAAA #i need to calm down #i have a trio that is technically done but it could be better but i never got to revise it properly.and theres a call for scores i could #submit it it thats due january 10 #so this weekend im going to revise it like a madman. i am DETERMINED to send something in #i think that pressure will make the trio a lot better #maybe not exactly where i want it to be because its going to be a job i do only in a weekedn #but hey! #i bet on monday its going to be so much better than it looks today