#somari (un)funny moments. (tbd)

[viorhysealberia]

I do understand what necessity therapy can have for people and ultimately it may be something I need in the long run, but there really is something deeply, deeply fucked up about the fact that I can know exactly why im not doing good and the response is that I can’t just actually fix the problem and should instead just go to therapy. cover up those boo boos :) because if you try actually solving the problem then the Government Overlords will think you’re useless and should die :)))

#somari (un)funny moments. (tbd) #I’m not even asking not to work!! just wanna focus on something that won’t make me Safe Money for a while!! #but NOOOOOO because not working a 40 hour job means no health insurance and no health insurance means Die A Thousand Deaths Forever :) #‘get therapy!! that’s what you need :)’ no you fucking dipshit what I NEED is to quit my JOB and do what I WANT to fucking do with my life #CAN CAPITALISM PLEASE FALL FASTER? THANKS IN ADVANCE

[viorhysealberia]

* knowing I’ll be turning in my two weeks notice IN two weeks fills me to the fucking brim with DETERMINATION

#somari (un)funny moments. (tbd) #I’m overstimulated and tired and my mouth is sore and I wanna cry #i had teeth pulled and I’m still at hell job. I keep getting blamed for others’ mistakes. my family thinks I’m insane for hating the system #I just wanna fucking STOP. and I know it’s coming I know it’s happening but it’s too far away even when I put the notice in it’s not done #and my parents want me to hold off LONGER! go ANOTHER week! I fucking HATE money and I hate the grind and the whole system I’m DONE #BUT. it’s HAPPENING and I need that reassurance the crying and feeling alone is gonna end so damn soon I can FEEL it #and then!! I’ll be able to rest!! sleep!! be able to focus on vids again for a little while after another month or so from there!! #I’ll finally be FUNNY and POSITIVE again I’ve MISSED it

[viorhysealberia]

You can’t call me cynical with my anger being directly linked to me Believing in people and humanity so hard that it makes me doubt the entire structure we’ve all been forced to build up to only support the Lucky Few, right? like, that’s like the one thing you CAN’T say about me for that, right?

#somari (un)funny moments. (tbd) #like. idealist. naive. blind. ignorant. can my parents at least accuse me of the things I was always told believing in People would make me #being called cynical is so much worse. it implies that I assume the worst in the world and that is the EXACT opposite of my problem #I love the world! I love people! I REALLY believe in everyone to a point even I admit might be too much! I don’t wanna HEAR it #anyways. doing Bad at work. as usual :)

[viorhysealberia]

I should honestly get paid double for every day I don’t lodge my computer monitor firmly into a newly-made wall cavity at work

#about 2 and a half more months of this. 2 and a half months of this still. just 2 and a half more months. jusgt #somari (un)funny moments. (tbd)

[viorhysealberia]

”humans are just too selfish and greedy to be capable of that” says who? the jackasses who’ve pushed themselves to the top? the millionaires and billionaires who benefit the most by pushing the idea that people are just too Selfish and Heartless and Horrible to take care of themselves? the species that builds and shares inventions to make life easier for itself and others? that makes charities so the less fortunate can survive instead of leaving the em to die? that finds joy and fun in nature and friendship and love and strength? that’s currently righteously furious at the state of the world right now, when they have the breathing room to do so, because the bulk of the system requires people to be so shackled down and out of energy to be able to question the way things are, that uses ‘it could be worse’ as an excuse to not improve, where more and more and more people are left outright UNABLE to take care of themselves because of the heartlessness of our system? The species that instinctively takes care of others when they have the resources and emotional fortitude to take care of themselves with room to spare? THOSE people?

#somari (un)funny moments. (tbd) #I know I’m alone in my household but at least I’m right #I know we’re not perfect and neither would any system be but jesus fuck I know this isn’t it #god I hate being so mad. I hate it. can we PLEASE destroy capitalism already. I wanna be a funny fella again

[viorhysealberia]

just ftr for anyone who might be Concerned about my recent negative posts, like. I won’t say I’m fine, I’m absolutely not right now, but what needs to be understood about me is that spite has powered every single facet of my life. It’s spite that made me so mad about people saying humanity is Bad and can’t do better that it led me to assume the best in people and has ultimately made me the anarchist hippie I am now, it’s spite that made me so frustrated at the idea that we can be kind is a Child’s Ideal, that anything more than the bare minimum of decency shouldn’t be an expectation that made me realize how much I want to better the world in the long run, it’s spite about being told ‘life’s not fair so deal with it’ that made me realize that anything ACTIVELY unfair about life is artificially maintained and has nothing to do with the world or the common person, and it is spite that is going to make me so utterly furious about how unfair living the ‘right’ kind of life under capitalism is that I’m going to pull through and live beyond the Safe Road out of sheer perseverance and a stubborn refusal to believe in anything but the best of other people

#somari (un)funny moments. (tbd) #like. this is a Not Okay period of my life. but this is temporary #I’ve got savings that will hold me over. friends who will give me a new home. and a true hatred of billionaires that WILL get me by #I have a temper that makes me need to complain and yell and cry but that’s it #in the long run I’ll be fine. the thought of Losing to the system makes me too mad NOT to #every complaint you see is just a complaint and I won’t even REMOTELY blame myself for any of it

[viorhysealberia]

how long do I have to spend watching opportunities pass me by while working a job I hate before I can go apeshit and just start breaking company property without legal repercussions. like at what point doing it all am I told ‘that’s fair’ and I get some sympathy and maybe a tasty lollipop for my neurodivergent troubles for once in my irl life

#somari (un)funny moments. (tbd) #gonna be honest shigeo I kinda hope he (capitalism) kills himself #I’m only 4 months away before I can get out of here but I’m also four months away. I’m REALLY not doing great like #idk if I can make it to Safely Able To Quit range for moving before I get myself fired for screaming and crying for an hour in here #anyways. hope you all are well :) im so tired