#some lady spent like 6 hours in the store first w AM then w me and I didn’t intend to get involved at all she grabbed ME. and then she

[lucatorahaven]

vampire au post

4 skype convos haphazardly mixed in from very different times

[29/11/2014 4:27:51 AM] Probably Not Assorted Cheeses: Vampire au

Lucas the incompetent vampire who eats mostly animals

Duster was the one who bit him, only bc duster was literally starving n lucas came at a bad time

idk if duster should be born a vampire or not but Wes is one too and together they taught lucas how to survive.

however eventually they had to leave, they offered for lucas to join them but lucas can’t leave his family behind, the kid’s too sentimental :’(

so together they staged his death (which im too lazy to try n think of)

claus knew bout the vampire thing tho, lucas couldn’t live alone like that. He also ended up biting Boney in an accident so hey vampire dog.

claus grew up and eventually had his own family. Lucas could only really watch from afar but then the kids got his age and it was hard to see him and keep the gig up. He visited his parents funeral anonymously and afterwards him and claus stood there just

“sup” “how’re the kids” “twice your age and with kids of their own” “heh, i always thought you would be the one with kids yano?” 

it was very bittersweet, it felt like they’ve never been apart 

“it never stops feeling strange without you” "I know” 

lucas thinks of that conversation a lot

he started off the "younger uncle" then the "weird neighbourhood kid that visits grandpa claus" and inevitably the "weird kid from nowhere who goes to the cemetary every other month to put flowers on graves older than appears to be"

SO without attachments lucas traveled with boney, hoping that they find duster along the way.

eventually lucas comes back to tazmilly but it’s been a couple hundred years now and it’s completely different so he doesn’t recognize it

n lucas one day is caught outside with no shelter, it’s almost morning so he runs into osohe (which is way outta town so he assumed it was abandoned)

vampires can’t enter homes without being invited in because apparently homes are holy land but osohe is fuckn haunted so that doesn’t apply (adding on to the abandoned theory)

that’s how kumatora and him meet, she finds him exploring osohe all “wtf the fuck who are YOU...this me house”

So she gets an awkward lie explanation from lucas 

n she eventually catches on lucas is a vampire n is just DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE I NEVER MET A VAMPIRE BEFORE FUCKN SWEET

lucas is just UM.;;; IS IT OK IF I STAY

"oh dude it's cool!! but u gotta tell me bout yourself bc i never met a vampire before ok?? i live iN THE PERFECT GOTHIC HOME BUT THERE’S NONE!! but here you are and i’m JACKED i gotta go to work tho so brb but afterwards u gotta tell me about yourself ok CYA"

lucas is still processing everything by the time she leaves, but he’s grateful and figures a conversation is the least he can do to repay her

in this au kumatora’s into cryptology bc her house is FULL of books and it’s a common subject (also the fact her castle is filled with ghosts and there are zombies just across the moat, it’s a p convenient hobby)

when she comes back she’s super excited because he’s still there 

lucas is kinda reserved but he still answers questions bc it’s POLITE

she asks bout p much everything?? “HEY do you need that” “y-yes” “is this true?” “not that i know of” “ok experiment time” “uH;;” “wait am i keeping you up?? it’s still daytime” “no it’s okay” 

after exhausting lucas of all his Vampire Facts kuma invites lucas to live at osohe castle, it’s big enough anyways

lucas is wary af bc he doesn't wanna accidentally get close to someone who 1. has a life span and 2. is technically food

but lucas ends up sticking around anyways, boney really likes it and he lowkey enjoys her company

so they keep chillin n lucas tells her how he hunts animals n how he only takes a bit of blood so they don't die and 

IDK I GO BY THE THEORY THAT VAMPIRES HAVE VENOM bc otherwise their entire food source becomes COMPETITION n they can bite but not?? TURN THEM INTO ANYTHIng so controlled blood flow for feeding purposes

also vampires only need to eat once or twice a month? they die around 6+ months without eating from starvation. It all depends on how quickly the blood cells in their body die basically.

ALSO when they bite you it doesn’t hurt bc their saliva numbs it so (sneaky bites) but it still feels weird as shit

bUT YA SO LUCAS N KUMATORA CHAt a whole bunch...you know that “accidentally get close” thing i mentioned? it happened

(it was kinda hard to avoid when the first companion you have that’s not your dog is informed on vampires and vampire goods, that was convenient)

so they keep hangin out and kumatora unlocks his Tragic Backstory

n sometimes kumatora helps him feed? like they go out together finding animals n storing blood

n lucas is fascinated with how technology has advanced bc he doesn't really?? go into towns anymore but he fuckn LOVES it

n they play video games n general COOL FUNTIMES

kumatora let’s lucas borrow her labtop to occupy himself and he looks for other vampires or hints of them

(this is under the assumption that osohe can get electricity in a modern au while still being ignored / abandoned)

n when kumatora goes to work he cleans up the castle n tries to show how much hE REALLY APPRECIATES HEr

n lIKE i also go by the logic that vampires do not do the stereotypical “turn into ashes at sunlight” it is a slow progression that takes up to 12 hours until absolutely turned to a crisp 

so basically if he covers himself and wears a shit ton of sunscreen he can chill in the middle of the day for like...a hour or two

and bc kumatora's WORTH IT he visits her at work n she's all LucAS WHAT ARe yO U DoING??   

lookin like a modern goth kid......has a huge red burn on his cheek..

he blames it on how pale/blonde he is “my brother is ginger you know”

kuma gets super worried n he's all bruh it cool i have like..2 more hours until i need to go to a hospital   

n kumas jsuT I GET OFF IN 4 HOURS GO HOME

kumatora invites him to movie nights with her friends n shit

people start calling lucas kumatora's goth boyfriend “never call him that when he's around or i'll murder you”

theyre all rather cool with lucas and find his speech kinda funny?

"wow look at those teeny boppers" "GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY GOD I LOVE IT" “???????????????" kumas friends ask for lucas more all WHAT SCHOOL DOES HE GO TO WHERE DOES HE LIVE "oh he's......foreign B)"

eventually it comes up how lucas doesn’t really want to be a vampire anymore and kumatoras just “dude i can help you find a cure” bc maybe her hobby is a bit Excessive but live your dreams

but ya lucas is just?? constantly wants to visit kumatora n loves her night shifts!! visits all the time they go on hikes a lot n jusT? GETS SO FUCKIGN ATTACHED IT SCARES HIM CONSTANTLY

they sometimes fall asleep on the couch together n when he's all "wow shes so cute.." he realizes how fucking Deep he’s in this and he’s FUCKED

he tries to distance himself but he Can’t Fucking Do It (just like w/ his fam)

whenever he tries to push her away she looks so upset it kills him 

N HE'S IN SUCH A STRUGGLE BC HE'S JUST

SO HAPPY TO BE AROUND HER??????

N LIKE WHEN THEY CUDDLE N STUFF HE'S JUST SO OVERWHELMED BC oh my god heartbeats!! oh my god she's gonna die before me

n lucas really fucking feels the severity of how FUCKED he is when its her birthday n hes just

yes she's gonna age and he's gonna outlive her n they could never realistically be happy even if by some offhand chance she even RETURNS the feelings

N HE HAS TO HIDE HIS CRYING N STUFF BUT KUMATORA HAS  A 6TH FUCKN SENSE FOR DISTRESSED LUCAS SO SHE'S ALL bruh :( whats up

so he opens up to her about his feelings and anxiety and she hugs him through it, it’s kind of a shitty way to confess 

“idk if i can forgive you for deciding that i’m gonna die before you” “are you threatening murder” “that and no way death’s gonna get me, i’m pretty stubborn”

a lil while passes

“you know... i’m okay with becoming a vampire” lucas refuses bc dude.. you can’t even comprehend the weight of immortality.. what if she regrets it 

“to hell if i make my closest friend suffer because of a life span” “hah i guess that’s the same for me”

they drop the vampire topic for the time being and move on to other ones such as... mutual feelings :^)

they’re both romantically inclined i mean... lucas spent 300+ years being a hermit and kumatora had other things to do

so they take it slow, it’s p much the same as before except.. hey...now when i think “man i wanna hold their hand” i CAN

it'd also be really sad and/or cute if the ghosts in the castle some of them were lucas's family which might be why boney likes it so much but also imagine them kissin on the couch "kuma ghosts r there" "EH THEYRE JUst ghosts" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) claus looks into the camera "after so long... finally my little brother gets some action :')"

but idk if that’s a thing bc it feels kinda weird i feel like kissin n shit wouldn't b very often bc as much as they both loVE IT 

IT'S NOT THAT GREAT FOR A VAMPIRE

YANO.... HEARTS R BEATING... NECK IS RIGHT THERE (lucas still adores it tho)

so back to the topic of Mortality

kuma gets attacked in an alley on the way home from work

n lucas finds her bc they were gonna meet up but he smelt the blood and when he does find her he just goes FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK n didn't know how to save her 

also thinking rationally is hard when OH LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD AHhaHA

SO HE BITES HER

he carries her body home n he spends the whole waiting process between DEAD and VAMPIRE crying just "hoyl shti please work please work" “what did i fucking dooooo” “what if i was earlier” “what if i was too late” so many anxieties

kuma wakes up and lucas transistions from panic to HAPPY PANIC OH THANK GOD

she’s really out of it bc of the process and he’s crying apologies “it’s okay you saved me” but he’s still crying, they cuddle for comfort

"hey atleast we did it NOW when i'm a hot sexy 19 yr old and not a wrinkly old lady” “kuma” “i’m tryna make light of the conversation”

so now that kumatora’s a vampire she only works night shifts until she eventually quits. They moved to a new town / whatever so it was easy to avoid having to meet someone in the daytime. facebook helped keep in touch with her friends while still letting the friendship die out.

it took kumatora a bit to get used to being a vampire. she threw up a lot at first and she didn’t like having to drink blood but she did eventually get used to it

idk if they find a cure bc idk what the cure would BE but they eventually find other vampires :^) they continued lucas’s search for duster and probably found him tbh

[francoiserenaldt]

week one

prologue | next week 

warnings: cussing (and lots of it), angst

word count: 1860

“Indefinitely? Fuck,” Desirée muttered, covering her face with a pillow. This was going to be a disaster. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Well, I guess I should call Stacy and tell her to turn around.” Andy scratched his neck. “We’re not gonna be able to leave for a while now.” 

“I can’t believe this is happening right now. This is actually the worst thing that could happen.” Desirée groans, pulling her head away from the pillow.

“Hey, I’m not that bad.” Andy teases.

“No, you’re not. It’s just...I had an interview for Vogue lined up to start on Monday. I’ve been interning and writing papers for months to get it and now…” She closes her eyes, willing the tears away. 

“Damn, I’m sorry. You would’ve killed it, I bet.”

“And now I guess we’ll never know.” Her eyes fly open as a realization hits her. “What the hell changed in less than 24 hours? They know that’s not enough time to pack anything and leave.”

“I don’t know, but we’ll figure this out, okay?”

She nods and he disappears into the bedroom. When she glances back at the TV, the time reads 4:35 AM. She rolls her eyes and tries in vain to go back to sleep.

And so it begins.

Sunday, August 3rd, 2023 - Day 1 of quarantine

She eventually gets off her ass around 8 AM and finds something to wear. She settles on a pair of black Nike sweats and her shoes from yesterday. 

One look at her phone notifications shows an unethical amount of missed calls and text messages from her parents, all of which she ignores. An hour later, she gets texts from Stacy.

stacy: just touched down in boston, hope you’re safe

desirée: great! you get to the airport okay?

stacy:  hell no. the police presence at the border is insane. I saw them cornering every car that tried to leave after me! I was lucky they got distracted.

desirée: holy shit it’s even worse than i thought

stacy: how are you getting back to nyc?

desirée: i’m def not w that border thing

stacy: so you and andy are...

desirée: stuck w each other for the moment. it should be fine.

stacy: are you sure, babe? 

desirée: it’s not like i have a choice.

stacy: if you say so. stay safe!

desirée: will do!

“Hey.” 

Desirée looks up and he’s there, dressed comfortably in sweats that show off his muscular build. He looks good and, if the way her eyes linger is any indication, he knows it. She should’ve replied 5 seconds ago, but the second-best time to say something is probably now. 

Speak, dammit.

“Hey. What’s up?” Her voice, thankfully, doesn’t betray her internal monologue. Andy doesn’t seem to notice.

“Since we’re gonna be here for a while, I should probably show you how everything works around here.”

The next hour is spent learning about where the dishes go, how to properly turn on the shower and all of the boring home life things. Throughout the tour, she notices the ways he’s changed since she was last with him. For one, he cooks now, and he has a relatively organized kitchen with spices and sauces. But she still gets some glimpses of who he was before California. He still eats with plasticware because “it doesn’t make sense to have silverware in a place where you don’t live all the time”, which is incredibly moronic thinking and she tells him so, he still wears oversized shirts to bed, and he still smells like his signature spicy cologne when he gets close to her. He’s still so easy to talk to, always knows exactly what’s on her mind and when there’s more to the story than she’s letting on and-

Holy shit.

This can’t already be happening.

As her luck would have it, the apartment he normally stays in alone only has one bed and he refuses to let her sleep on the couch again, so they share the bed. 

The tears only come when she sleeps with her back turned to him, kicking herself for ever letting him go. 

Monday, August 4th, 2023 - Day 2 of quarantine

In the morning, Desirée wakes up with his warmth against her back. One look down finds his arms loosely wound around her body in a way they definitely weren’t when she fell asleep.

Once she begrudgingly gets out of bed, she makes the call to the higher-up at Vogue and tells them the news. She wants to believe that the bored tone the receptionist uses when she delivers the news is just an attempt at a brave face and they secretly are very disappointed that she couldn’t make it. 

She wants to cry. 

Instead, she goes into the bathroom and gets ready for the day. Apparently, her attempts at a facade weren’t as effective as she thought as Andy stops her in the bedroom.

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah.”

“You’re obviously not okay, Desirée.”

“So why bother asking, then?” She snaps. “It’s been a hard enough morning without you trying to psychoanalyze me, so please spare me the effort.” 

“Look,” Andy snaps, “I know you’re upset about your thing in New York, but I don’t deserve that.”

“You know what, Andy? You’re right. You don’t deserve that. So I need you just leave me alone for a second because I’m in an incredibly shitty mood and this,” she waves a hand between the two of them, “isn’t helping.”

“Do you think being an asshole is going to help?” Andy raised an eyebrow. Desirée only offered a huff in response. “So I’m going to ask you again. What’s wrong?”

“You’re clearly not letting this go, so...I had to call Vogue that I’m stuck in quarantine in the middle of nowhere in Oregon and that I won’t be there in time to start the internship,” Desirée speaks slowly, not far from tears. “The lady listening couldn’t have given less of a shit if she tried.”

“Now was that so hard?” Andy gave her a small smile and opened his arms, clearly intending for her to hug him. She holds out at first, glaring at him. He tilts his head slightly as if to say, Come on already! and she runs into his arms, finally allowing the dam to break. He strokes her back as she cries, closing his eyes to hold back his own. Once her sobs lessen, she whispers something in his ear and he almost misses it. 

“You’re the worst.” 

Tuesday, August 5th, 2023 - Day 3 of quarantine

To help her move on from her internship, Andy attempts to teach her how to play video games. 

Attempts being the operative word.

She’s admittedly stubborn and confused about everything and Andy is entirely too amused about the entire thing. This goes on for hours until eventually:

“Maybe I could just watch?” 

So that’s what they do. She sits while he plays his game, stopping every now and then to explain how to make certain moves and unlock certain weapons. She lays her head in his lap. They don’t talk about it.

Wednesday, August 6th, 2023 - Day 4 of quarantine

On Wednesday, they drink. Wine bottles were lined on the coffee table in front of the couch as Desirée’s legs rested on Andy’s lap. She feels his thumb running softly along her calves as she stares at the ceiling. 

“I’m sorry I was being a bitch on Monday.” Desirée murmured, her head hanging on the arm of the couch. “I haven’t done that in a long time. I thought I was getting better at not being so...me.”

“You wanted space and I pushed.” Andy squeezes her calf. “I’m sorry, too.”

Maybe it’s the wine or the way his hand feels on her leg, but she feels emboldened in a way she hasn’t in years. So emboldened that she finally asks:

“Why didn’t we end up working it out?” She whispers softly. 

The question lingers between them. The thought had plagued her thoughts ever since that first night, and the morning after, but she’d never dared to say it aloud before this moment. 

“We were headed in two different directions,” Andy says after a while. He turns to face her and forces a smile, which she returns. “You were going to New York City to become some big-time stylist and I was going to Los Angeles to be a basketball player. Our lives were just going to be too different.” 

She remembers what she’d told him years ago; that their lives were just beginning and their relationship had no future in them. But 4 years later, she’s finding that her heart beats just as fast when he winks at her and hugs her as it did before. And she’s not imagining the redness on his cheeks when she lets her gaze linger too long or the feeling of his arms tightening around her in the morning. 

Of course, that was never the problem, was it?

“I wish we would’ve figured it out.”

“Me too.”

He sleeps with his back to her. They don’t talk about it.

Thursday, August 7th, 2023 - Day 5 of quarantine

Thursday, and the rest of the week frankly, is spent looking at the news. The cheery news anchor, who’s broadcasting live via Skype, promises that everything will be over in a couple of weeks, but independent news outlets are projecting that citizens of Westchester County should expect to stay in their homes for the next couple of months. 

They finally name the new age plague cutis dissolutitis, but everyone sticks to calling it the Westchester Plague. Apparently, high pH bacteria erode the skin until the person has no outer layer of protection left. They have yet to figure out how the disease is transmitted. There have been 3 casualties so far, and each one has been due to suicide rather than the disease itself. 

“Holy shit,” Andy gasps as medical professionals bicker like middle schoolers on the TV screen. “Do you really think it’s only going to be a couple of weeks?”

“No,” Desirée replies. The monosyllabic response is horrifyingly final.

She wants to be wrong.

Friday, August 8th, 2023 - Day 6 of quarantine

On Friday, the first case outside of Westchester County is reported. 

“A 25-year-old woman has contracted the Westchester Plague in Big Bear, California. The patient has claimed to not have been to or from Westchester in her lifetime. The governor of Oregon has scheduled a press conference this afternoon. More at 12-”

Andy turns off the TV. 

Saturday, August 9th, 2023 - Day 7 of quarantine

On Saturday, they run out of food. 

Neither wants to leave the other alone in the house, so they tentatively head to the nearest grocery store. They grab the essentials.  In the checkout line, everyone stands 6 feet apart from each other. Every person who dares to be out, save for her and Andy, is wearing gloves and a mask. Boxes of both items are given to each shopper as they exit the store. 

Each day, life comes closer and closer to becoming a dystopian nightmare. As they return back to Andy’s apartment, she wonders if she’ll start calling it home soon.

#something gained #mc: desiree ashton #li: andy kang #ship: desiree x andy

[initforthelongrun2019]

I Got You Potatoes

I had been contemplating whether or not to do the Vietnam Mountain Marathon (the third race in the Vietnam Trail Series) for weeks. When I finally made the decision to run, I then deliberated long and hard about whether to sign up for 70km or 100km. I listened to my tight hips and continuously aching shoulder; I considered the work trip I had before and after the race, which meant that I would be exceptionally busy and would also require use of my feet for long periods throughout the day. I thought about the time I had to prepare for the 100km; was I able to take time off work to travel the day before, would I have time to prepare enough items for a second drop bag? I also thought carefully about the cut off times for the 100km; I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to maintain a good pace for such a long distance, in order to meet those tight cut offs. In the end I made a ‘sensible’ decision and decided 70km would be the best option for this race.

In hindsight, this was most definitely the right choice, although perhaps an even shorter race would’ve been the better option this time round. For the first 20km I wasn’t in the right headspace, and for the remaining 50km, I felt sick and nauseous, unable to keep food inside me, with sickness and diarrhoea plaguing me throughout. For once, I wasn’t affected by injuries, but everything else was letting me down. Even my shoulder, which had been giving me sleepless nights in the run up to the race, was relatively pain free, thanks to two physio sessions that week; one with my regular physio, Flavia, in Hoi An, and another with Wade from ACC, at the race expo, just a few hours before flag off.

I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to understand why I had such a bad race, and have come to the conclusion that there were many contributing factors.

Firstly, I wasn’t able to eat or hydrate properly the day before the race. I am always careful not to drink too much water during bus journeys as I don’t want to be THAT person who keeps asking to stop. I also didn’t bring any food with me as we were leaving Hanoi early, around 7am, meaning that we would arrive in Sapa just in time for lunch. Or so I thought. Nine hours after getting on the bus; a journey which is only meant to take 5-6, I finally arrived. This was the first time I was truly happy about the decision I made, as the 100km started at 9pm, whereas the 70km began the following morning at 3am. Although it was still an early start, it meant that I had time to have dinner, which I desperately needed after missing lunch, as well as enough time to prepare my bag and attempt to sleep.

After a quick catch up with friends at the expo, a few needles in my painful shoulder and a lovely dinner with Em J and W, I headed back to my hotel, ready to prepare my things and get some sleep. I was staying in a very small guesthouse with an adorable elderly man who spoke very little English. I spotted the large padlock next to the main door and worried that I wouldn’t be able to get out at 1am the next morning, so using google translate, I tried to explain that I needed him to keep the door open so that I could leave on time for my race. I was still worried that the message hadn’t got through, so I called a friend who explained to him in Vietnamese, exactly why I had to make him set his alarm and get out of his warm cosy bed at 1am. When I got to my room (still worrying that I wouldn’t be able to get out and eyeing up windows which I might have to climb out of) I began the long process of packing my things. I knew that we had a drop bag at CP4, but since I’ve never had the opportunity for a drop bag on a 70km race, I decided that I wouldn’t make use of this opportunity now, mainly because I didn’t have any time to prepare any additional items, so I was desperately hoping I wouldn’t need them. I then contacted my parents, who earlier that week, told me that they were waiting for the results of their Covid test. During the call, they told me that they had been diagnosed with Covid, so after a very long conversation consisting of me worrying and both of them trying to reassure me, I climbed in to bed but got zero hours sleep. I rarely sleep well the night before a race anyway, but this was possibly one of the worst night’s sleep I have ever had.

I climbed out of bed the following morning feeling terrible; even worse when I realised I got my period. This didn’t come as a surprise, but still wasn’t particularly pleasant, especially as I was already feeling run down and exhausted. Normally I try to avoid having my period on races, but this time I didn’t plan so well. Another reason why I decided against 100km this time round. Anyway, there wasn’t a lot I could do, so I got dressed, used my head torch to find my way out of my room as the lights weren’t working, and left the hotel. There was no sign of the elderly man, but there was a key next to the locked door, so I let myself out.

My stomach felt funny before I even crossed the start line; at the time I thought it was a combination of period pain and nerves, so I wasn’t too concerned. What was worrying me most was the fact that I couldn’t seem to get myself in to a good headspace. Running through the night is something I always find quite challenging, but normally when I start in the dark it’s not too bad, as I know that daylight isn’t too far away. This time it seemed like it was very far away, and I hadn’t even started yet.

For the first 20km I struggled with a painful stomach and exhaustion; I passed two runners sleeping between two checkpoints, carefully being watched by one of the volunteers, and I thought about grabbing my emergency blanket out of my bag and joining them. Yet for some reason, I didn’t; I kept thinking about the 100km runners, especially my friends who were running this race, and the fact that they had been going all night. I knew they wouldn’t have given up, so I didn’t either. I wanted to keep going until at least checkpoint two, so that I could run at least a half marathon; my plan was to call it a day once I reached this checkpoint. Normally when I have thoughts about DNF’ing I’m absolutely devastated but this time I really didn’t care; usually I worry about having to tell people that I quit, and also the impact it might have on my confidence for future races, but all I wanted this time was to go back to bed and call my parents once they were awake. However, just before I reached the second checkpoint, I heard someone call my name. It was my friend Duy, who I finished VTM with back in January, and have been bumping in to at various different races ever since. I saw him running in his 100km bib, still looking so strong, and I realised at this moment it would be hypocritical of me to give up. So I carried on going.

After this, the race all kind of blurs in to one. Usually I would put this down to leaving it so long to write my post, but I normally have such a vivid memory and this time the race itself felt like a blur. Luckily, I was well enough to enjoy the devastatingly beautiful views that Sapa has to offer and, thanks to my brand new camelback from the Activ Store, I was able to keep my phone in a front pocket so that I could easily access it to capture those striking moments. I have completed all of my previous runs using a Salomon camelback and I have to say it’s honestly one of the most frustrating things; no front pockets, so no access to gels, snacks – anything – and one of the reasons why I have so few photographs from previous races. Anyway, I digress. But the new bag was probably one of the highlights of the entire race.

Unlike VJM in Pu Luong, this race was a little busier and so I met some fantastically interesting people and had some wonderful conversations. I remember running with a lovely lady named Ly; I was feeling silently terrible, but I tried to match her pace as I was finding it really motivational to run with her. The sun was finally rising as we ran and she told me to take it all in, and expressed how lucky she felt, knowing that she was able to enjoy this. She was so right, but at the same time I couldn’t shift those feelings of guilt; knowing that I was running while my parents were sick and so many people weren’t even allowed to be out and about. I suffer from anxiety which has been even worse this year (no surprises there) but normally when I’m running I can overcome these negative thoughts. This time I couldn’t, and I felt waves of anxiety and depression crashing over me throughout the entire race.  

I also had to battle with my iffy tummy which, as it turns out, wasn’t just due to period pain and nerves. I still have no idea why, but I wasn’t able to consume any food (I had just two lecka bars and a few oranges throughout the entire race), I threw up twice and I went to the toilet so many times I lost count. I also had a terrible ‘bathroom’ experience; if you’re squeamish I would recommend skipping to the next paragraph, but if you’re not, then here goes. After having way too many wild poos (hey, we’re in the mountains, it’s normal), I decided that I would treat myself to a proper bathroom break at the next checkpoint (checkpoint 4, I believe it was). The toilet turned out to be a squat which didn’t deter me as I’ve lived in Asia for long enough now, however, what was slightly off putting was the fact that the bathroom ‘wall’ consisted of a very thin piece of wood, which didn’t actually cover the entire area. So, as you squatted, your knees would be on show, and as you stood up, well, EVERYTHING would be on show. All of this while a man was stirring soup and making noodles in the kitchen RIGHT next to me.

You’ll be pleased to know that, after my bathroom experience, I don’t really have many other memories. I got to a point where I couldn’t even really contribute to discussions with runners and so I opted to run alone for the most part. I felt so weak and spaced out; I remember leaving one checkpoint and I honestly don’t know which one it was, but I didn’t really understand that I’d left it, until I was on my way. As I was running as I was looking at the map on my bib trying to decipher which checkpoint I had just left, which checkpoint I was running to, and how long I had left. I asked these questions to a runner who passed me, he sort of laughed as though I was joking; then when he realised I wasn’t he slowed down to give me a full overview of who I was, where I was and what I was doing there.

Some point after that I threw up, for the second time, and I left voice notes with Gareth and Em J, telling them I would call it a day at the next checkpoint. Injuries are one thing, but sickness and dehydration were causing me a lot of worries, and I really felt like I might pass out on the trail. However, after hearing that Em J had a very similar experience, but still finished, I powered through, knowing that she would have been running at her absolute maximum intensity, and still managed to complete. Her voice notes got me through the last few km’s, especially the long and winding tarmac road (which we created our own song about - Tarmac is a WANKER) which eventually led to the finish line. Somehow, I managed to find my legs (and a tiny bit of energy) to power walk the last few km’s and even run the last two. As I crossed the finish line I apologised for making them wait (ever so British, I know) and thanked them for the potatoes they had waiting for me. I was sad that I didn’t have my post-race food cravings, and I was also slightly disappointed that I couldn’t enjoy a post-race beer, but honestly, potatoes dipped in soup were an absolute game-changer. I felt absolutely fine once I’d finished; no aches, no pains; the next day I was walking fine and even went for a recovery swim. But I couldn’t shift the sickness, and felt ill for the next few days. As I still haven’t gotten to the bottom of this, I’m a little concerned about future races, but I have many to look forward to next year so I’ll just try and power through as normal.

[swagirii]

NY JM Concert

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I was really tired to begin with because I do not live in NY. I live 3 hours away from NY. So I just planned a whole day to be spent at NY. This part is like annoying probably so you can skip it if you want HAHAHA but I had to work until 1 am on Friday night and slept for like 3 hrs and caught the 7 am bus to NY. I slept for another 3 hrs in the bus and got there. Ate dim sum MMMmmmm my first time :-) but how do you not get the liquid to be all over your plate. I’m such a noob. and went shopping at soho WHERE SWINGS AND GIRIBOY WERE THE NIGHT BEFORE but I was shook because a shirt was like $50. so I left and went to time square and went to line store remEMBER this is all new to me because I’m like a country girl who raises cows for a living. loljk. idk. pls ignore. anyway so... after that I was pretty exhausted and it was like 4 pm ish. Met up with another friend (so now a party of 3!!!) and decided to head over to the concert place.!!! omg so excite. I wasn’t really excited at first because I was pretty tired from the whole day but while walking to stage 48 like I was getting excited LIKE HELLO I WILL MEET JM IRL AND NOT ON COMPUTER EVEN THO IT FEELS LIKE A DREAM RN

So I got there and the line was pretty long even though it was like 6:00 well I guess I don’t know how long concert lines are because this was my first concert. ;-; and meet&greet people got to go in at 6:45 pm. So we went in. and they did this extra search of our bags and touched under my boob to see if I had a gun. (even tho nochang can just kill me with his chingchangchong) and threw my water bottle and my friend’s hard boiled eggs away (LOOOOOL). we got there and the meet&greet was some booty tbh. OK BEFORE I WAS GONNA SLEEP IN THE BUS WHILE GOING TO NY, I WAS THINKING OF EACH THINGS I WAS GOING TO SAY TO EACH MEMBER OKAY BUT THAT WAS ALL RUINED BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE “meet&greet” and just take a group picture and gtfo. ._. So it was our turn and my friend was the first in line for the group so she went in all awkward like “hi...” BECAUSE IDK C JAMM LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE C JAMM ON THE INTERNET. LIKE THEY ALL LOOK THE SAMEEEEEEEEEEEE I CAN’T. IT’S TOO REAL. and she stood next to C Jamm and he was like “wassup wassup” HE’S SO NICE AND HUMBLE like he’s the cutest potato thing. and I think I was standing next to Swings? I don’t even remember, because I was wildly searching for Giriboy like I CAME ALL THE WAY TO SEE YOU WHERE ARE U I need to hold your hand IDK ASDKFLASDJFA;SDF. and Swings was just trying to make us stand so we can all be in the pic. then I saw Giriboy behind me like on the step kind of thing AND HE DIDN’T HAVE HIS GLASSES AND WAS WEARING A BLACK BUCKET HAT and kinda looked like 

THIS WITHOUT THE GLASSES and like hello every1 he was NOT WEARING GLASSES !!!! I CAN’T so I was like omg.......... and he just kinda looked at me so I was like “I’m a big fan of yours!!!!!!!” and THEN ALL OF MY FRIENDS GOT ENCOURAGED AND WAS LIKE ME TOO me TOO and he just kinda nodded as a thank you multiple times. :( I WANTED TO HEAR HIS VOICE ok sike. im gonna chill. but still highkey regret that i was not being extra during the “meet&greet” because the staff were like don’t bring ur phones no selfies BLEHLAHELBLEHLA BLEAH ok whatever good bye and i didn’t notice any1 else during the picture bc i forgot abt them soz

and the concert didn’t even start until like 8:00 pm and i was mad bc they kept playing hiphop music other than JM like i was ready to go rain shower idk and some ppl blocking the view in front of me my friend asked if they could squeeze us in bc we couldn’t see and they completely ignored me after the first word. :-) well they moved after that so its ok but anyway... like whatever :)... the show started with osshun gum and im sorry but ive been out of this scene for so long like i forgot who he was like i know hes from high school rapper but i didnt even watch the show :-) rip but he was so cute i know hes 1 year younger than me like HES A BABY (bgm: shes a baby zico) and he was dressed “normally” too so he looked like a normal person and it was just cute ok but i didnt know his songs so i felt bad. 

the next person was han yohan OMGGGG U KNOW I ACTUALLY LOVE HAN YOHAN BECAUSE IDK LIKE IM INTO THOSE ROCK THINGS NOW and he played curt cobain BECAUSE IM CURT COBAAAAAAIN 300 km, I’m Sorry, and then later super saiyan with black nut OMSDFKLASJDFKLASDJFASKGJSD F ok. Enough said. This is better explained with the live. goodbye. I just love. and hes the only one who actually sticked w the schedule that was pre released before concert lol

and then it was the love of my life giriboy and he was supposed to perform zoa... wybh and then hogu but he started doing mix it up but whatever i was shouting like crasy so WHATEVER OK and he did all these weird cute moves... like icant believe it happened in front of me. i feel like its a dream. :( i hope he does it again in my dreams. and did hogu then ended. 

i was proud to shout all the lyrics (NOTICE ME)

then it was nochang like omg i love him because for the longest time i thought he didnt wanna be on stage because idk... gossips and his interviews... but he was the best on stage he looked like he really enjoyed and we were like TUUUURNNNNN UUUUUP ok but tbh no one knew his lyrics... bc they’re too sophisticated4us but he did emancipation, ching chang chong, and turn up and he was wearing all black again. but took his hat off a couple of times. his head is pretty. he actually stuck to the schedule too omg i feel like giriboy was not feeling well or something :( or he was more concerned about his single 

then it was black nut omg YOU GUYS KNOW HOW I HAVE A THING FOR SKINNY GUYS im just kidding but i love black nut and he killed it today with his porn hub shirt on hahahahaha first he did honmono which i dont rly kno because i been living in a cave for so long and then it was silky bois like BOIIIIII HE DID THE AUTOTUNE THING LIKE HE SANG IT but it was good and hes the only one that was all smiley throughout the concert and remember he always used to wear sunglasses but like no sunglasses today and like... he was the best eye contacter :’) omggg so cute and then he did 100 like kill all of em i was screaming

then it was bill stax OK LIKE I KNEW NONE OF HIS SONGS IM SORRY BUT I FORGOT HIS NAME CHANGED TOO RIP :’( I NEED TO BE GONE FROM THIS WORLD and then we did giddiyup? like that song with the horse with c jamm and nochang it was lit because that’s like an old song and everyone knows that EXCEPT NO ONE SCREAMED  수컷말쉿 except me like WHERE ARE YALL but anyway... then it was c jamm he did know and puzzle which was like... idk those songs... i really need to get on my game maaaaneeesss

and then swings was being v soft today and was like this is for the ladies and did 듣고있어? and some other SONG THAT I DON’T REALLY KNOW THE NAME OF BUT THOSE WERE SWEET SONGS AND IT WAS NICE BECAUSE HE WAS BEING FUNNY WITH ALL HIS GESTURES LIKE KISSING FROM HIS HAND like where all this confidence come from i need some and then he did bulldozer which was #lit i kinda wish he did 양아치 or 괜찮아 but it didnt happen its ok

then it was da whole crew with sushi rain showers and carnival OMG WHEN CARNIVAL STARTED WITH GIRIBOY i cried ok i didn’t but i almost cried because just. like. IM HEARING IT LIVEEEE HELLO i was shook. and sushi was ok except they added some extra lyrics for the live i guess and i kinda didnt hear the lyrics and rain showers was lit as alwaaaaaays

they didnt really talk like esepcailly giriboy because i know he doesnt talk in general but its like in american so i guess he was done. i hope hes happy

#me #giriboy

[chaos-and-recover]

all of them. all. of. them.

WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME EVERY TIME is it because you know I have nothing better to do? Because you are right.

1. What is you middle name? Barbara. It’s my mom’s first name2. How old are you? OLD AS BALLS. Or like. 32.3. When is your birthday? April 4th.4. What is your zodiac sign? Aries5. What is your favorite color? purple6. What’s your lucky number? I don’t know if I have one?7. Do you have any pets? nope. I am sad and empty and pet=less8. Where are you from? Canada, eh?9. How tall are you? 5′11″ or somewhere in there. Apparently freakishly tall, according to my tiny, tiny friends10. What shoe size are you? ladies’ 9 1/2-10. Currently wearing size 9 boots every day because I haven’t gotten around to getting new winter boots and got those ones for a cosplay a few years ago because they looked rad and were cheap but NOT COMFY and I NEED NEW BOOTS.11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? lemme tell you it’s not nearly as many as it was when I worked in a mall with a Payless and went there WAY too often. There’s probably like 5 or 6 I wear regularly now.12. What was your last dream about? I... actually don’t even remember? I remember waking up the other morning thinking “what in the FUCK” about a dream I’d had but now I can’t remember what it actually WAS lol13. What talents do you have? none lol14. Are you psychic in any way? I mean I don’t know if I ACTUALLY am but I’ve learned to trust my gut when I feel really sure of an outcome of something because I’ve been right more than I’ve been wrong15. Favorite song? Falling Slowly from the movie Once is probably my favourite thing in the world.16. Favorite movie? 10 Things I Hate About You, The Princess Bride, and a bunch of objectively awful movies that I love.17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who will leave me tf alone. Actually I would probably thrive in a long distance relationship where I don’t have to like... see them all the time and can still have my own space?18. Do you want children? Not especially. I recently figured out that may be negotiable though which was... interesting.19. Do you want a church wedding? Not necessarily but if I did have one I would only want it at my grandparents’ church because history (my parents were married there; I was baptized there; my Oma loved that church).20. Are you religious? Not even a little.21. Have you ever been to the hospital? My guy I spent so much time in the ER as a kid that they almost called social services.22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope, I’m a nerd.23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Yes, quite a few. That was like, My Thing in high school24. Baths or showers? baths if they stay warm for more than 0.00005 seconds.25. What color socks are you wearing? black, with white writing. They’re my July Socks because I am JUST that awful and love a bad pun.26. Have you ever been famous? I had my 15 minutes of fame in 2004. Green Day were involved. The story circulated the local music/industry community for at least a year. That’s all.27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I don’t think I would like that AT ALL.28. What type of music do you like? I listen to so much music, honestly. Name a genre and I could probably name at least one artist I like from it.29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Not totally but I’ve gone halfway there. Not sober lol.30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 231. What position do you usually sleep in? Usually on my stomach32. How big is your house? not as big as the rest in the neighbourhood now but when it was built in the 70s it WAS one of the biggest around33. What do you typically have for breakfast? either: a bagel w/ cream cheese, Eggos (with chocolate chips sometimes), toast w/ peanut butter & banana, Cheerios w/ banana, or oatmeal34. Have you ever fired a gun? only a laser gun lol35. Have you ever tried archery? yeah, I actually liked it? I wasn’t very good. Although my Opa did make my brother and I our own bow and arrow sets when we were little. Nobody lost an eye, so it worked out well.36. Favorite clean word? I don’t know if I have one?37. Favorite swear word? I like made up ones, like “fucknugget.”38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Without ANY sleep at all, like a day and a half. With minimal sleep, a few days - a week or so.39. Do you have any scars? Yes and they’re all dumb.40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? lol doubtful41. Are you a good liar? Sometimes. For like, inconsequential shit I don’t even need to lie about.42. Are you a good judge of character? I wanna say yes but I’m actually just kind of a bitch and super judgy anyway?43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Every one I try turns out like a really shitty southern accent44. Do you have a strong accent? I don’t think so but people from elsewhere might disagree45. What is your favorite accent? Irish, specifically Galway-area. I also like certain southern accents, like... wherever Matthew McConaughey is from. That’s a nice accent.46. What is your personality type? Like... those acronyms? No idea lol. I don’t do those personality tests.47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Probably my Roots cabin sweater which I got for Christmas last year but I know ain’t cheap.48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie50. Left or right handed? Right, although I’m fairly competent with my left from when I was 8 and broke my right arm and had to use my left for everything for a while.51. Are you scared of spiders? Yes, they’re awful little demon bugs.52. Favorite food? Poutine lmao. I’m a stereotype.53. Favorite foreign food? Burritos.54. Are you a clean or messy person? Horrifically messy.55. Most used phrased? Lord, probably “lmao.” Or “your face.”56. Most used word? Probably “fuck”57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Depends for what. For just like, every day shit, like 20 minutes. If I actually wanna look good I need more time. Both of those require at least 20-40 minutes of sitting despondently on my bed wondering if I REALLY need to go where I’m supposed to go.58. Do you have much of an ego? I don’t think so?59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Lick/suck til I get bored, then bite. (Hey boys ;) )60. Do you talk to yourself? Yes, way too much.61. Do you sing to yourself? Quietly, but I do.62. Are you a good singer? FUCK no.63. Biggest Fear? The existential horror of Never Getting My Life Together.64. Are you a gossip? More than I should/want to be 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Ever? That’s a hard question. I have a really unpopular opinion about Manchester By The Sea (I KNOW how we’re supposed to feel about Casey Affleck) but I don’t even know if that’s the best EVER, it’s just very good and that makes me angry.66. Do you like long or short hair? On myself? Kinda miss my long hair now.67. Can you name all 50 states of America? If you give me time to figure them out, probably.  (let’s see - Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Hawaii, Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Utah, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Idaho, Iowa, North Dakota, South Dakota, Kentucky, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Montana, Indiana, Michigan, Illinois, Rhode Island, New York, Maine, Vermont, Massachusetts, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland, New Jersey, North Carolina, South Carolina, Colorado, Delaware, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Connecticut, Minnesota, Wyoming, Arizona, Missouri, Mississippi, Kansas, New Hampshire, Oklahoma. BAM.68. Favorite school subject? I was a nerd and loved History. I took American History in grade 11 SPECIFICALLY because my 10th grade History teacher was so good and he taught it, I wanted him again. I also liked English. Math can choke.69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert. But I play an extrovert on the internet.70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope.71. What makes you nervous? Crowds, specifically crowds hindering where I need to go or what I want to accomplish.72. Are you scared of the dark? No, I’m scared of things IN the dark lmao.73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes, but usually I couch it in “I think it might be this actually” which probably comes off as passive aggressive.74. Are you ticklish? Yes but if you exploit that you gonna die75. Have you ever started a rumor? Probably lol76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yep. I used to manage a store. I’m also a supervisor at my part-time job.77. Have you ever drank underage? I really didn’t that much but I did a little.78. Have you ever done drugs? Never hard drugs because I’m lame.79. Who was your first real crush? Third grade. Luke Costello. That crush... set a bit of a tone lol.80. How many piercings do you have? None, not even my ears, which everyone finds baffling for some reason.81. Can you roll your Rs? Yes!82. How fast can you type? I don’t know my exact WPM but it’s pretty fast I think.83. How fast can you run? Not very.84. What color is your hair? Red85. What color is your eyes? Green/hazel86. What are you allergic to? Potentially cats and/or dogs, dust, MAYBE alcohol lol.87. Do you keep a journal? Nope88. What do your parents do? they’re both retired but they were both teachers, the absolute nerds.89. Do you like your age? Sure90. What makes you angry? Dumb people at rush hour on public transit.91. Do you like your own name? I don’t hate it.92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Not in a long, long time and when I used to they were all ridiculous and terrible, thank GOD I never had any.93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I wouldn’t care.94. What are you strengths? I’m pretty chill I think?95. What are your weaknesses? Maybe too chill when things are important.96. How did you get your name? It was crazy popular in the 80s and my parents just liked it.97. Were your ancestors royalty? No, but there may have been a Polish lord somewhere in the line? No one is really sure. We ARE sure about the bank robber though. She’s my favourite.98. Do you have any scars? Oh hey a repeat question.99. Color of your bedspread? Purple100. Color of your room? Also purple

#tbh on the states I got as far as connecticut and looked at a map #shut it i got close #nikkihorrorxx