#sorry to like. trauma dump on you jsjsjdjsj

[altruistic-meme]

ok, heres an anon for you- i dont know if this is a me thing or not, but do you have any questions (about your work, your life, or anything) that you wish people would think to ask you, but that you know other people don’t have the context to ask? if so, what are they and what is it about them that makes you want to talk about it

hello!! this is a really interesting ask aaaa

i know that i do get this way too, but it's not like, questions i always have in my head, they usually come and go. lemme see if i can think of any rn....

lmao okay so i was trying to not get like Deep or anything and its not so much a question i often wish people would ask but ig one thing is like, i always think about how others view me when i tell them im the youngest of 6 kids. cus its SO irritating to me bc their immediate perception is literally always incorrect and they NEVER listen to me when i tell them that no, it actually wasn't like that at all.

so im gonna explain it here since i never get to irl but

being youngest was shit for me like 90% of the time. i know, i know, that there's the "oh the yougest always gets their way and they're the favorite and blah blah blah" and that's EXACTLY the idea people get when i tell them im youngest and that isn't what it was like.

in fact, it was the sister closest to my age who has that more than anyone else. if things didn't go her way, she would throw a fit and yell and cry and get our parents to take her side. every. fucking. time. when we were really young, this wasn't often used against me since we used to be really close, but as we got older it was used ALL THE TIME.

and the issue is it works (present tense, bc despite being 20/22 this still happens) bc i DONT like throwing fits or, especially now bc we're adults, i REALLY don't like pulling our parents into it. but she does! so she'll drag our parents into it and they'll take her side like always bc they only ever get her side of things.

back to being younger, i was basically the footstool of my family anyway, bc my siblings would always boss me around and I would listen (bc I've got ~issues~ I've learned) so they kept doing it. and I wouldn't complain bc it could upset them and it would annoy our parents and I didn't want to be like the sister before.

so yeah. being youngest sucked a lot. and it drives me fucking insane when i tell people i was youngest bc they go "oh so you were the baby! you must be so used to getting what you want and being the spoiled one lol" when they've got NO IDEA what it was like for me.

sorry for the rant ksksksksk but! maybe please do not assume youngest children are always spoiled babies bc we aren't! and that's the thing ig no one ever asks or lets me talk about that I really wish they would :')

#sorry to like. trauma dump on you jsjsjdjsj #i mean not EVERYTHING was bad of course bc i did get to go out and do more than say my oldest siblings #bc my parents had learned and we had more flexibility once my brothers moved out etc #so i got to do more things from a younger age sometimes but like #thats 1 thing ifksjsj #thank you sm for this ask tho <3 #askers #anon #shh ac