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summahsunlight · 4 years

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This Way Became My Journey, Ch. 23

While the computer was running its diagnostic on the alien device, B'Elanna Torres had snuck away to the mess hall to grab a ration pack for lunch. Well maybe she hadn't really snuck away; Captain Janeway had after all given her permission to take a small break. But it sure felt like sneaking away, with Michael breathing down her neck wanting to know every little thing that came up about the device. Snatching a ration pack up she went to join a Bajoran, by the name of Seska, who was sitting at a table in the middle of the room.

"I didn't think Janeway was ever going to let you leave the bridge," Seska drawled with that sly grin of hers as B'Elanna took a seat.

B'Elanna shrugged her shoulders. "I think she felt bad that her kid was watching over everything I did. Anyways I don't have a lot of time. I need to get back up there to finish working on that device that Chakotay brought back from the planetoid."

"If you ask me this is a waste of time," Seska replied, pushing her empty ration pack to the side. "We shouldn't be chasing after any aliens that like to harvest organs. It could end up getting us all killed."

"Neelix could die if we don't track them down," B'Elanna said, slightly shocked by her friend's cold tone.

It was Seska's turn to shrug her tiny shoulders. "The Doctor has kept him alive this long; that's better than most people can say if they had just had their lungs stolen."

"And what if it was Chakotay that had been attacked? Or Harry? Would you feel the same way?"

"Of course. Neelix should be counting his blessings while the rest of us get to the real work of finding dilithium to help the power shortage," Seska answered, her dark eyes studying B'Elanna's face. "You don't actually agree with Janeway's decision to go chasing after these aliens do you?"

B'Elanna averted her eyes. "To tell you the truth, I think it's rather noble."

Seska scoffed. "One noble deed doesn't make up for her selfish decision to strand us here."

The hatred for Janeway that was laced in Seska's voice was not lost on B'Elanna and the young Klingon woman suddenly found that she was not hungry anymore. Pushing the tray away from her, she looked her friend, or someone she had once regarded as a friend, in the eye. "Seska, I know it hasn't been easy the past month, adjusting to life on a Starfleet ship, but believe me when I say that Captain Janeway has the best intentions of this entire crew at heart."

"You didn't think that way a month ago," Seska pointed out.

B'Elanna shook her head. "No, I didn't. But the past few weeks I've worked closely with her and my opinion has changed. If we had used the array to get home, there would have been people back in the Alpha Quadrant who thought her decision to sacrifice the Ocampa selfish. Either way, she couldn't win."

Seska got up from the table angrily. "You're starting to sound like all those delusional Starfleet idiots."

The Chief Engineer watched as the Bajoran left the table and stalked out of the mess hall. B'Elanna wasn't sure why Seska was having the hardest adjustment out of them all. Perhaps she felt like she had been slighted by Janeway when she wasn't given a higher rank, after all, she was Chakotay's former lover. And then there was B'Elanna's promotion to chief engineer. It was never spoken between the two, but B'Elanna knew that Seska was jealous of her friend's promotion and the trust that Janeway put in her. She also knew that Seska wasn't too keen on all time the B'Elanna had taken to hanging out with Harry Kim in the mess hall or for a stroll on the holodeck. But Harry had been the only one nice to her, on the Starfleet side that is, for their first few days, and she was grateful for that.

It wasn't her fault that she was sliding into fit with the crew and Seska was struggling. She just needs to make friends outside of the Maquis, that's all.

B'Elanna decided that the next time Harry joined her for dinner she was going to ask Seska to join them. She was sure that Harry would be friendly and make an attempt to befriend Seska no matter how unreceptive Seska seemed.

Speaking of Harry, B'Elanna was sure that Janeway had given him a fifteen minute break to eat something as well. Maybe she had missed him when she had first come in the room. Glancing around she soon found that it had been easy to miss him. He was seated at a corner table with Sarah Barrett. B'Elanna instantly felt…jealousy.

She was shocked by this, at first. There was nothing romantically going on between her and Harry so she shouldn't be bothered if there was something between him and the counselor. But then she remembered Elle Platt, back from her Academy days. Elle had the same dark, coffee brown hair as Sarah, same enticing sapphire eyes. B'Elanna had thought Elle had been her friend and had told her about her crush on one of their classmates. They never spoke of it again, until B'Elanna had seen Elle with her crush, cuddling on the lawn one warm afternoon. Elle later told her some story about wanting to keep B'Elanna safe because she only would have been hurt, that her crush never would have dated a half Klingon.

B'Elanna, who had always resented human girls, with their silky locks of hair, and smooth foreheads, had shortly left the Academy after that. So was it this fact that Sarah looked so much like Elle that she was jealous of the time she spent with Harry? And if she ever did want to be more than Harry's friend, how could she compete with the perfection that Sarah was?

She was shocked at this realization. Being more than Harry's friend? He was Starfleet, a nice guy, but still Starfleet. Well what's so wrong with that? They had been through so much together on the Ocampa home world, she had connected with him in a way that she had yet to connect to anyone else on the ship, with maybe the exception of Chakotay. And that's when her emotions switched to jealousy to downright anger.

Sarah could have any man she wanted on this ship, with the bat of her pretty little eyelashes, why was she with Harry? Good, even Tom Paris was eating out of the palm of her hand and she had taken the one guy that B'Elanna actually felt…feelings towards. It figures the one nice guy on this ship—

"Seat taken?"

B'Elanna glanced up to see Tom Paris. She shook her head. "No."

He sat down and dropped his ration pack tray in front of him. His grayish eyes looked up to see what she was looking at and he frowned.

This peaked her curiosity even more. Was Tom's feelings about Sarah more than just wanting a date? B'Elanna suddenly didn't feel so bad that she was not the only one who was jealous on this ship. "Something wrong with the view?" she teased.

Tom only frowned more as Harry and Sarah got up and left the mess hall together, laughing about something. "No, nothing's wrong with the view."

"If I didn't know you any better Paris, I'd say you were jealous," she continued teasing getting up from the table and going to recycle her tray. It was time to get back to working on the alien device and the diagnostic. She would have to push thoughts of Harry aside until further notice.

However, the thoughts of Harry and Sarah eating lunch together, sharing a laugh, just would not escape her no matter how hard she tried to get her work done. Michael Janeway was still standing over her shoulder, soaking in every last bit of information that the computer was coming up with. If that kept up he could his mother the report and B'Elanna could return to engineering where her real work was.

Mindlessly drumming her fingers on the console she noticed Tuvok raise an eyebrow. "Does that form of activity make the computer scan faster?" the Vulcan questioned her.

"No, but it keeps me occupied while we wait." The doors of the bridge swishing open brought her attention about and Paris strode back onto the bridge, no trace of the frown he had worn in the mess hall. How can he let it go so easily? Oh, that's right, he's a pig. He probably has another love interest lined up behind Sarah and the Delaney sisters.

The computer beeping brought her attention about. "Captain," she called out, getting Janeway's attention. "We've completed our diagnostic on the alien device."

Janeway strode over to join the group, which was an odd mix when you really thought about it; a Vulcan, a five year old human boy, and a half Klingon. "What have you got?"

"It appears to be more than a weapon," B'Elanna reported. "It's also a very sophisticated medical scanner and surgical instrument."

"From what we can tell," Tuvok said, handing the device to Janeway, "it uses a neural resonator to stun the victim while a quantum imaging scanner begins a microcellular analysis of the entire body.

"The amount of information this thing can gather puts a tricorder to shame," B'Elanna continued. "You fire this at someone you learn everything about their anatomy, right down to their DNA sequencing."

Janeway turned the device over in her hands. "So we're dealing with aliens who've developed a technology specifically designed for extracting organs from other beings. The question is…why?" Chakotay demanded her attention and she mindlessly put the device down onto the science console.

"The alien ship has dropped out of warp," the first officer reported. "It's approaching a large asteroid."

The captain went to stand on the command station next to Lieutenant Barrett while Tuvok took his own station. "On screen."

"It's entered the asteroid captain," Paris reported.

"Hold position."

There were very little options that Janeway had at this moment. She could either take the ship into the asteroid if it was wide enough or she could try to flush the aliens out some how. But that could take hours, and Neelix didn't have hours. Even though the Doctor had come up with a solution for the time being, no one really knew how long he could survive using holographic lungs, not to mention that if ship's system ever went down and the emitters went off line, Neelix would die.

"MICHAEL!"

The shear volume of Lieutenant Barrett's voice startled everyone on that bridge and all eyes snapped about looking for the child.

The boy was standing at the door to the ready room and immediately Janeway could see that he had the alien device clutched in his little hands. The captain had moved the baby into the ready room so she could comfortably nap and she had no doubt that her son was about to test the device out on his baby sister. How could I be so careless with something that dangerous around? She hadn't even seen Michael move from his spot near the science station, for that matter, neither had B'Elanna. Michael was terribly clever, a trait that Janeway knew had been inherited from her; he could easily slip away from baby sitters, his mother, etc.

So how had Sarah seen it?

Michael looked sheepishly up at his mother. "I just wanted to see Ava's DNA."

His mother gestured that he give her the device back and he complied.

"Sit there," Janeway instructed, pointing to her chair.

Chakotay cleared his throat while the boy did as he was told. "Uh, Captain, we've determined the asteroid is man made."

Fascinating. What's even more fascinating that Sarah knew Michael had that device; another question for another time, perhaps.

"I think I've located where the alien ship entered the asteroid, Captain," Paris was saying bringing their attention about to the situation at hand. "There's an open crater on the limb of the asteroid."

"Let's see it," Chakotay ordered and the viewscreen changed from the image of the asteroid to the opening that Paris had found.

Janeway crossed her arms over her chest. "How large is that crater, Mister Paris?"

"Two hundred meters in diameter."

"Captain," Tuvok cautioned. "May I suggest that you consider carefully what you're about to do?"

"How do you know what I'm about to do?" Janeway asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing at Tuvok.

"I could describe you in detail the psychological observations I have made of you over the past four years," Tuvok answered, calmly. "Which lead me to conclude that you are about to take this ship into the asteroid, but suffice it to say, I know you quite well."

"One of these days, I'm going to surprise you Tuvok," she replied, with a wry grin. "But not today."

Janeway moved back into the command station and briefly looked at her counselor. "I've already consider other options. If Neelix has any chance of surviving, we have to act fast. Red Alert. Mister Paris lay in a course. Mister Tuvok maximum shields, phasers at the ready."

The Captain turned about in the command station and looked hotly at Michael, "And you stay right there and don't touch anything."

"Yes ma'am."

Voyager glided into the asteroid while Janeway made her way down the command steps to stand next to Chakotay and behind Paris. Her eyes watched the screen intently as the cavern's walls began to narrow.

"Captain," Paris said. "I'm reducing power to the aft-thrusters only. This passageway is getting a little too narrow for my taste."

"Use your discretion Mister Paris," Janeway replied, turning towards Tuvok. "Any sign of the alien ship, Commander?"

"We're still following the ion trail," Tuvok answered, "but electromagnetic interference is limiting our sensor range. I'm only able to scan five hundred meters a head of us."

Chakotay asked the next question. "Are there any indications we're being scanned or probed Mister Kim."

"Not yet."

"Sick bay to Bridge. May I enlist the services of Counselor Barrett please?"

Janeway glanced up at the lieutenant. Was it her imagination or did the Doctor sound anxious? "Certainly Doctor, she's on her way, Janeway out." For a moment the women made eye contact. "You heard the Doctor, he needs your help, we're just going to have to handle first contact without you."

#star trek voyager fanfiction #kathryn janeway #chakotay #janeway x chakotay #tom paris #sarah barrett (oc)#tom paris x ofc #harry kim #b'elanna torres #kes #neelix #tuvok #the doctor (emh)#this way became my journey

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summahsunlight · 4 years

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This Way Became My Journey, CH.10

A/N: Here is the last chapter for Caretaker. Enjoy!

GIF not my own.

The briefing room seemed strangely empty to Sarah Barrett as she slipped into a chair at the table. The last time she had been in this room the senior staff had been in tack, with the exception of Tuvok. Now, the only ones to adorn the chairs were Tuvok, herself, and a jolted looking Chakotay.

Two hours had passed since Kathryn Janeway had ordered the destruction of the Caretaker's array. No one had seen the Captain since that moment, the only ones going in and out of the Ready Room being her children. And then out of the blue she had ordered Tuvok, Sarah, and Chakotay all into the conference room and said she would be joining them in a few moments. Now the three of them were sitting silently, each lost in their own thoughts. Tuvok was staring emotionless at the ship's schematics screen, Chakotay nervously out the windows, and Sarah's own eyes flicked back forth between the two men.

"We have a problem," Kathryn's voice cut through the silence as she came into the room. All three pairs of eyes focused on her. The bluntness of her statement was not lost on them. "Besides the obvious fact that we are now seventy thousand light years from home, we don't have a senior staff to run this ship. Lieutenant Tuvok and Lieutenant Barrett have done a fine job in the wake of our situation, but it won't last. Eventually, they'll burn themselves out."

Chakotay realized that she was talking to him more than to Tuvok or Sarah.

"Not to mention, there's a matter of a Maquis crew without a ship," Kathryn added. "Now, I could just very well throw you all in the Brig for the next seventy five years, but," her voice dropped slightly, and became softer, "that wouldn't benefit any of us. I'm here to offer the proverbial olive branch."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow and briefly made eye contact with Sarah.

"What do you mean by that?" Chakotay asked her, although he had pretty much surmised what the woman wanted.

"Join my crew," Kathryn replied, not bothering to notice the objective look in Sarah's eyes. "We could use the extra hands around here and…" here she paused again, "I need a new First Officer. I've promoted Mister Tuvok to Lieutenant Commander for his service on your ship and to me; however, I'm going to need him at Tactical."

Chakotay noticed Sarah fidget in her chair and realized that the Captain had not talked to her counselor about anything she may have decided in the past two hours that she had locked herself in her ready room. "Are you offering the job to me, Captain?"

Kathryn gave him a curt nod of her head. "You were once a Starfleet officer, you're more than qualified to do the job."

He mulled over her offer. In the end, he concluded that he didn't have much of a choice, since he had destroyed his own ship to help save hers. He also knew that for her, a by the book Starfleet officer, it had to be a tough choice to send up the white flag and ask sworn enemies of her beloved Federation to join her crew. But desperate times called for desperate measures and by accepting the job, Chakotay was about to disembark on a journey that was going to show him that Kathryn Janeway was not always a by the book officer. "I'll speak to my crew, but joining your crew sounds a hell of a lot better then sitting in the brig for seventy five years."

For the first time in hours, Kathryn let a smile play on her lips. "Good, now that that is settled. Tom Paris."

"Tom Paris?" Sarah repeated, confused.

"I've decided to give him a field commission of Lieutenant, junior grade," Kathryn replied. "We need a good pilot out here and he's the best one we've got. It seems only fair that I've offered spots in this crew for the Maquis that I offer him one as well."

"Captain, I'll take responsibility for him," Chakotay offered, in a hushed tone. The eyes of the three Starfleet officers snapped up to the man's face. "I…my life belongs to him; it's…a complicated story, perhaps another time."

Kathryn gave him a gentle nod of understanding and turned her blue eyes to Sarah. "I understand you were a full lieutenant, recommended for promotion to lieutenant commander, when you were on the Explorer. Gabriel never told me that."

"My rank was striped before the trial, and let's just say the promotion...was held off," Sarah responded. "I don't see how this is relevant now."

"It's relevant because I'm reinstating you to full lieutenant," Kathryn answered her, firmly.

"Ma'am, can I ask why?"

"Gabriel would tell you its because I like taking risks," Kathryn replied, "however, current circumstances could call upon you to be in command every now and then, in the absence of Mister Tuvok, myself, and Mister Chakotay. Tuvok and I already talked about this, earlier while we were searching for Harry and B'Elanna; we could use another good officer around here. Naturally, you'd be our last resort when it comes to command situations, but your job just got a bit more important now, you're going to need the privileges of a commander to help you through. It also seemed relevant to elevate your rank above the highest rank I'll be given the Maquis, with the exception of Commander Chakotay."

"In other words, making me more of an authority figure in their eyes," Sarah reasoned.

"You could put it that way," Kathryn said. She looked about the room for a brief moment. "I understand that this is going to be difficult, but we have to work together, as senior officers, and set an example for this crew, if we're to survive."

"I'll have to set up a counseling schedule, the first few days are going to be the roughest," Sarah said.

"And I'll start immediately on training the Maquis crewmembers in the latest of Starfleet protocol and tactics," Tuvok responded.

Chakotay was impressed how easily the two officers had put any reservations they may have aside and focused on what was more important; getting this crew home. However, he wasn't a fool, he knew that it was going to take time, precious time, for all of this to work out, if it ever did.

Kathryn nodded her head in approval, expecting nothing less of her officers. Stretching out her hand to Chakotay, she waited for him to take it. "Do we have an agreement?" For a moment the Native American looked into her deep pools of blue irises and then reached out and took her hand, unknowingly vowing to stand by her.

She was about to dismiss them when Sarah spoke up, "Captain, there's another matter we need to talk about."

"Oh? Really?"

"Mister Neelix approached me, he and Kes want to stay on Voyager," Sarah replied.

"You explained to him that this isn't a passenger ship, right?"

"Yes ma'am," Sarah responded, "but he made a compelling argument. He knows this region of space, quite frankly, better than any of us, he offered himself as a guide. Kes has already proven that she is an explorer at heart, I think this crew could benefit greatly from their addition."

Kathryn found her reasons adequate and it warmed her heart that they had made some friends already in this hostile region of space. With a brief nod of her head she informed Sarah to add Neelix and Kes to the crew roster, and then dismissed her officers, ordering all of them to be present on the Bridge in an hour. She had a few wrinkles to smooth out and then it was time to address her crew.

Commander Chakotay, formerly of the Maquis ship Val Jean, strode slowly down the corridor towards the cargo bay where his crew was being held under armed guard. He glanced over his shoulder tentatively.

The two security officers who had escorted him up to the briefing room were still there, but now they were keeping a distance. Chakotay shook his head slightly and kept walking. Why Kathryn Janeway trusted him was beyond his comprehension, the fact that she did, made him realize he had misjudged her from the start. It was clear that this was no ordinary woman in command of the U.S.S Voyager. She had after all held out the proverbial olive branch to him, despite the obvious protest in her counselor's eyes and the stoic expression on Tuvok's face. Janeway saw the need for survival; if they were to survive she needed him. Any other man in his position would probably take advantage of that. He could think of a few other commanders in the Maquis that would have used her…femininity against her. But he couldn't. He may have left Starfleet, became an enemy of the Federation, but he still had honor. This was Kathryn Janeway's ship and she had offered him either the brig for seventy five years or to help them all get home. Personally he didn't want to be forced to live in a tiny cell for the next seven decades.

He stopped just outside of the cargo bay. In his mind he could hear almost all of them, yelling at him that this was ridiculous. They couldn't join Janeway's crew, she had been sent to hunt them down, arrest them. Again he shook his head slightly and entered the room. B'Elanna Torres and Seska were the first to stand up and greet him. B'Elanna was wearing a scowl and watched with intense hatred as the security detail followed Chakotay into the room.

"I'm surprised Janeway hasn't sucked us all out into space yet," the half Klingon woman hissed gesturing towards the cargo bay doors. "What did she want to see you for anyways? To hand you your sentence?"

Chakotay shook his head. "No," he replied calmly, "she had an offer to make."

Seska scoffed. "An offer? What kind of offer? The brig for seventy five years or confinement to this room?"

"She offered for us to join her crew," Chakotay stated, his voice echoing off of the walls.

"She what?" B'Elanna choked. "You're kidding right? Is that her way of saying 'I'm sorry that my holier than thou Starfleet principles stranded you here'? Because if it is, I don't buy it. This is her way to set us all up to fail, so if we do make it home, she can throw it all in our supporters' faces. She hates us Chakotay, she doesn't want this."

He glanced at their angry faces for a moment. "She's doing what she thinks is best for her crew."

"That's just it, it's about her crew, not about us Chakotay," Seska snapped, "Don't think for one second she cares about what happens to you."

"She'll keep us under tight survaliance you know it," B'Elanna retorted. "Personally I'll take the brig."

Chakotay felt angry. He had told Janeway, promised her that he would join her. Clenching his fists to stop an angry outburst, he glared at the group of rebels. "I don't think you understand this isn't a choice. I've already made it, we're joining her crew. I told Captain Janeway that you would all give her your best and that you'd follow her just as loyally as you followed me." Their faces conveyed shock. He didn't care, it was his duty now to not be their friend. "Now," he growled, "the security details will escort you to your quarters, and by the way, you all need to change, you're out of uniform."

As they flied out, B'Elanna muttered, "I hope you're not making a mistake Old Man."

"Me too, B'Elanna," he mumbled, "me too."

Newly commissioned Lieutenant Tom Paris looked about the gathering on the bridge. Starfleet and Maquis crewmen were scattered about the cabin, at various stations, the senior staff, still not complete because they had yet to find a chief engineer or a chief medical officer, were also present. Tom wondered what had prompted Janeway to give him the commission. In her ready room, just a few minutes before she had told him that he had earned it. But had he really? Was it just her need for a good pilot that got him the rank?

He was going to prove to her otherwise if that was the case.

B'Elanna Torres nervously adjusted her issued uniform. Never in her life time after she had dropped out of the Academy had she thought she'd be wearing one of these uniforms again. When Chakotay had announced Janeway's offer, she had scoffed at the idea. But he had turned her objections down, gently, in that damn soft tone of his, and told her that it was better than staying in the brig for the trip home.

She was certain that this merging of two completely different crews was never going to work.

Harry Kim was just grateful to be at his station all in one piece. He hadn't had much time to think about it while they had been battling the Kazon, but now as his fingers brushed the controls, he realized just how close he came to dying on his first mission. But now, the reality of their new situation began to set in, and he longed for home.

Neelix and Kes stood mutely near the command station, each new friend determined to help the crew get through their long journey and by apart of it.

Sarah Barrett and Chakotay stood in the center of the command station, each lost in their own thoughts, wondering if the Captain had made the right decision when it came to destroying the array and stranding them here, essentially merging two crews into one.

The door to the ready room hissed open and all eyes turned towards her. "Captain on the Bridge," Tuvok called out and everyone, with the exception of Neelix and Kes, slid into an at ease position. Kathryn made her way up the steps and glanced around at the gathered officers and crewmen. It was a sight that normally didn't overwhelm her, but perhaps today it did because of what she was about to say.

"At ease," she told them, watching as they all slid into position, and as Paris took his seat.

Making her way through the command station, making sure to make eye contact with each officer as she passed, she wound her way, slowly around Conn. With a deep breath she began to speak to them, hoping that her words didn't sound harsh or cold. "We're alone, in an uncharted part of the galaxy," she started her eyes falling on Kes and Neelix. "We've already made some friends here, and some enemies. We have no idea of the dangers we're going to face, but one thing is clear, both crews are going to have to work together if we're to survive," she said, stepping up to Chakotay. "That's why Commander Chakotay and I have agreed that this should be one crew, a Starfleet crew and as the only Starfleet vessel assigned to the Delta Quadrant we'll continue to follow our directive: to seek out new worlds and to explore space. But our primary goal is clear. Even at maximum speeds it would take 75 years to reach the Federation. But I'm not willing to settle for that. There's another entity like the Caretaker out there somewhere who has the ability to get us there a lot faster. We'll be looking for her, and we'll be looking for wormholes, spatial rifts or new technologies to help us. Somewhere along this journey, we'll find a way back."

With a brief pause and a glance between her new first officer and counselor, Kathryn Janeway set her jaw and looked at Tom Paris, "Mister Paris," she ordered, "Set a course; for home."

Three weeks after Voyager is pulled into the Delta Quadrant...

"Admiral Paris, sir," a young man's voice interrupted the older man's working. "Admiral Patterson is here to see you."

Owen Paris scoffed, looking at the scattered PADDs on his desk. "Did you inform him that I'm not to be disturbed unless it was an emergency? I can't take every call or I'll never get all this work done and be home in time for my wife's dinner party with the Hayes'. Tell him I'll catch up with him tomorrow."

The young aide nervously wrung his hands. "I did tell him that you were busy, sir, he insisted. He told me to inform you that it was about your son."

Thomas. Of course this was about Thomas, Owen thought as he sighed heavily. Erin hadn't been too happy three weeks ago when he had shown up on the Paris' door with the news that after helping the Voyager find the Maquis and getting out of jail on parole, he'd be leaving Federation space, to only heavens knew where. Owen was utterly exhausted by the lashing out Thomas had done since the day he was born. He knew that he hadn't been the best father to his son, he'd pushed him to extremes never realizing that Thomas would push back just as more. Erin was devastated that he was leaving as soon as he could, she blamed Owen. "What did my son do this time? Is he back from the mission yet?"

"The Voyager's mission is what Admiral Patterson would like to talk to you about," the aide replied. "Shall I let him in?"

"Very well," Owen said, pushing the PADD he was working on to the side. "I'm already behind in my work, send him in."

Owen Paris had known Matthew Patterson for quite some time, he had been the one to push Owen to take on a spitfire of a student, one by the name of Kathryn Janeway. Owen could tell that what Patterson had to tell him not was none too pleasant by the way the man was walking with his shoulders slightly slumped. "Matthew, please have a seat," Owen greeted when the Vice Admiral entered his office. "What can I do for you my old friend?"

Patterson didn't sit. "Owen, I wish this was a social call. I'm afraid I'm here on business."

Owen felt his shoulders stiffen. "What kind of business?"

"It's about the Voyager," Patterson said. Owen noticed the man's hands were trembling slightly. "I blame myself Owen."

"Blame yourself for what?"

"We hurried Voyager's final preparations when our agent didn't report in," Patterson began," I let Katie talk me into it, you know her, she's stubborn, she didn't want too much time to pass since we hadn't heard from him. I thought the ship was ready, we all thought the ship was ready. We were wrong."

Owen shook his head. "I'm not sure I'm following you, Matthew."

Patterson's eyes grew sad and tired. "I ordered them to the Badlands, to track Chakotay."

"The Badlands, Matthew no ship can navigate through the plasma storms."

"We believed the Voyager could, she was designed for such places," Patterson replied with a slight raise of his chin.

Owen suddenly felt his heart race, thundering in his chest. "Matthew, what's happened? What happened to Voyager?"

"I want you to know that we're doing everything we can to recover them," Patterson said, fleetingly.

"Recover? My god, Matthew, my son...what the hell happened?"

The other admiral's eyes grew even more sad and tired. "We haven't confirmed reports yet but a Cardassian patrol ship saw them entering the Badlands...and subsequently destroyed by a plasma storm. It will be at least two more weeks before we can modify a ship to search for wreckage," Patterson replied, "If we can believe the Cardassian patrol's story. If this is the case, than all hands are considered lost."

Lost, Thomas...lost. Owen could only hear the pounding of his own heart. Erin would surely blame him now for everything that had befallen their son. And Owen couldn't say that he didn't blame her for doing so. Their son was lost, finally beyond their reach, there would never be reconciliation, never be peace between them again. In that moment Owen forgave his son of all his misgivings and with a heavy heart realized that he only did in the moment when Thomas was dead, not when he was living. It was something that Owen Paris was going to have to take to his grave and beyond, the knowledge that forgiveness was indeed given too late.

Nothing could shatter the spirit of this day, Luke Barrett thought as he held his newborn daughter, absolutely nothing. He only wished that his family were alive to see her. His parents had died untimely deaths due to their jobs with Starfleet, and his sister was walking that path as well, only killing herself with her drug addiction and depression. Luke had cut ties with her after visiting her once in the prison that she was being held in.

The last time he had seen Sarah had been disaster. She was going through severe withdrawal from the drugs, screaming at the nurses at the rehab center just to give her more. Luke had been dismayed at what he saw, gone was the strong young woman that he associated with his little sister, gone was the ambitious young officer who wanted to take the Federation by storm. Well, she had taken them by storm alright, just not the way she had planned. He had been glad that his father wasn't alive anymore to see his darling little girl in that state.

Sarah, not cohesive, had blamed Luke for all her problems, blamed Commander Fletcher, blamed the officer she had been dating for just abandoning her. Luke wasn't sure what she had seen in her seven months studying the Borg, she had not been allowed to talk about it, but their relationship had gone south when she had taken that position. Luke told her she was inviting trouble, death; she thought she was doing some good for the galaxy. It had only driven her to drugs and self destruction.

He looked at his daughter. Her little deep blue eyes were looking at him; Sarah's sapphire eyes. Luke shook his head. If she had chosen differently she could have been apart of his life, but she had chosen darkness. He could not let that darkness around his family, his daughter.

"Have you thought of a name yet, sir," the nurse asked stepping into the room.

"None yet," Luke said with wry smile. "We can't seem to decide."

"You can't seem to decide," his wife, Brenna, called out from the comfort of her bed. "I've given you several suggestions."

"It's alright," the nurse said with a smile, "there is plenty of time to figure out a name. Are you well enough for visitors, ?"

"Visitors?" Luke questioned looking up at the nurse. "What visitors?"

Brenna's family had been away on holiday when she had gone into labor and wouldn't be arriving until tomorrow. He didn't have a family to speak of, with the exception of Sarah, but he had not spoken to her about Brenna's pregnancy. Who could be coming to see them? Luke glanced at his wife, who shrugged her shoulders. She seemed just as confused as he was.

The nurse waited patiently for an answer. When she didn't get one, she prodded, "There is an Admiral here to see you. Mister Barrett I assumed it was a colleague of your late father's."

Luke frowned. He hadn't been in touch with any colleagues of Jason Barrett's since his father had died unexpectedly in a shuttle accident. None of the admirals had contacted him when Sarah had been on trial, they barely looked at him when during that trial. She had disgraced both of them in front of the Federation brass and he wasn't even in Starfleet. "I haven't spoken to any colleagues of my father since his death."

"Shall I send him away?"

"No," Luke said, "no that would be rude. You can send him in."

Brenna sat up and looked at her husband thoughtfully. "Do you think Sarah sent him?"

"She didn't even know you were pregnant, I don't see how she could have sent him."

"Don't you think we should tell her, Luke, she's your sister."

"My sister died when my father did."

Brenna looked at him sadly. The rift between Luke and Sarah had started when she had taken the assignment on the Explorer. It had taken her away from Earth and her family for seven months. She'd been away when her father had died in the shuttle accident, she didn't make it home in time for the memorial. Luke had been furious at her when she finally did show up on Earth, begging him to forgive her not making it back in time. Brenna remembered him slamming the door in her face. They'd heard nothing from her, assuming that she went back to her ship afterwards, until the lawyer had shown up on their doorstep. The drug addiction had been the final straw for Luke, he'd cut all ties with her and it broke Brenna's heart to know her daughter wasn't going to know her aunt.

The door to Brenna's room slid open and a tall, broad shouldered man dressed in the uniform of a Vice Admiral entered. Luke stood and placed his daughter in his wife's arms and turned to greet him. "Admiral Thornton," he said holding out his hand, "it's been a while, sir."

Adam Thorton grasped Luke's hand tightly. "I'm sorry to bother you, Luke, but...I have news."

"News? What kind of news?" Luke asked, crossing his arms over his chest. My god Sarah what have you done now. "Sarah?"

"Yes, Sarah," Thornton replied. He cleared his throat. "How much of her latest assignment did you know about?"

Luke blinked. "Her latest assignment? She's been reassigned, already?"

Thornton nodded his head. "Yes, to the U.S.S Voyager." The Admiral looked at the ground for a moment, before glancing up at Luke and Brenna. "I wish I didn't have to break this news to you on what is to be the most joyous day of your life, the birth of your first child, but I'm afraid the news I bring is not good news. The Voyager has not made contact with Headquarters in three weeks, a Cardassian patrol outside of the Badlands reports seeing it hit by a large plasma storm and destroyed. We fear that all hands have been lost. I'm sorry...Luke...your sister is counted among the missing."

In that instant the most joyous day of his life quickly turned to the worst, the day that Starfleet took away the last of his family. Later, on the name card of his newborn daughter, the nurse finally wrote a name, Sarah Faith Barrett.

Phoebe Janeway awoke to the sound of her vidphone beeping. Grumbling she pushed the quilt off of her body, crawled over her fiancée, David McPherson and went to answer it. It was so damn early in the morning, who the hell was calling her this early on a Sunday morning, after she had spent the night out celebrating David's latest novel. She wasn't surprised that it was her mother. But there was something about the way Gretchen Janeway was looking at her that made Phoebe sober up and quickly. "Mom," she gasped, "what's wrong?"

Tears pooled in Gretchen's eyes. "It's your sister," she said, choking on the words. "Voyager hasn't reported into Starfleet for three weeks."

Kathryn would never go that long without communicating with Starfleet. The ramification of that bit of news started to settle in. Phoebe knew very little about her sister's latest mission, just that it was taking her away from Earth and her children longer than usual since Bryan Dawson's death. But she did know that Kathryn had been assigned to track down a Maquis cell, one that her friend and security officer had infiltrated. Phoebe had been angry that her sister would take such a dangerous mission when she had two small children to think about. Ava was only a year old and had already lost her father, but Kathryn couldn't see beyond the bow of her ship sometimes, Phoebe thought wildly. "What does Starfleet Command think? Is it the Maquis?"

"No," Gretchen said. "The Maquis that Kathryn was sent to find disappeared as well."

"It could have been another cell," Phoebe snapped. "I told her not to go! I told her it was too dangerous!"

"Phoebe, there's more."

The tone of voice her mother was using caused Phoebe to fall back into the chair she was sitting on. More? What more could there possibly be? She had already been informed that her sister and her ship was missing, somewhere in the Badlands, chasing after terrorists. What more could her mother have to tell her? "Oh god, Mom, what's going on?"

The tears were now spilling down her cheeks. "I tried to reason with your sister, she wouldn't listen. I knew that I should have called Gabriel, she might have listened to him, but not me, she always took what I said with a grain of salt."

"Mom, where are the kids?" Phoebe asked, suddenly realizing that her mother's house was too quiet for a woman who was taking care of children.

"Kathryn took them with her."

This news slammed into Phoebe head on. Her heart began to race. How could Kathryn take Ava and Michael with her on such a dangerous mission, was she out of her mind? But, she realized, her sister hadn't been thinking straight from the moment she found out Bryan was dead. From there she had just taken everything one tiny step at a time. She clung to Ava like she was a life preserver and Michael was always kept at a distance, a painful reminder of the life she had lost with her husband. But Phoebe had thought that she had better sense than to bring her children along on a mission that was risky. "Starfleet…they…they let her do that?"

"Admiral Patterson approved of it," Gretchen replied, now sobbing.

Phoebe stood up. "Stay there Mom, I'm coming over."

It would only take her a few moments to get showered and ready. Her mother was emotionally breaking down and needed her. So much for a nice brunch with David. But Phoebe knew that her mother was never going to handle this on her own. Not when she had just lost her daughter and grandchildren in one communication. Phoebe choked a sob as she left a message PADD for David that she would be at her mother's. The time for Phoebe Janeway, the baby sister of Kathryn Janeway, lost somewhere in space, to mourn would be later. Much later.

#star trek voyager #star trek voyager fanfiction #kathryn janeway #chakotay #tom paris #sarah barrett (oc)#harry kim #b'elanna torres #kes #neelix #the doctor (emh)#janeway x chakotay #tom paris x ofc

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