#take it from someone who started experiencing csa at 6 and had to learn what that was through the internet

[psotu17]

Water Mill, NY

USDAC People’s State of the Union Story Circle

Parrish Art Museum, Water Mill, NY

January 27, 2017

Circle #3

Facilitator: Mark-Antonio

Storytellers: Scott, Jon, Chris, Kath, Dennis, Alicia, Joanne

Notetaker: Michael

ROUND 1

Mark-Antonio: I am an immigrant. I moved to this country from Jamaica. Lived in Staten Island for the first year in this country. Experienced in that time watching Grandmother and parents struggle. Struggle to make connections in the community, finding permanent work, finding a place to live. Put that with experience now in East Hampton. When first landed (living full time) we were at Indian Wells Tavern having dinner and I met someone at the bar. Struck up conversation. Interesting that they asked who my family was, and what their last name was, and how long they had been in the area. Very striking how interesting that was. Brought me back to feeling the way I felt when I first moved to this country. Needing to find where I belong.

Scott: Thinking about being in America, the first thing that came to mind was, I lived in England 10 years. Deliberate choice, I went to get away. Partly getting away from this country. Lived in small village in Mousel, Cornwall. They called us “the yanks on the hill.” Identity was in question. Coming back that period is something I recommended for my children. Only way I have been able to look at it is with distance, what growing up in this country really is. Growing up in the 60s etc. is coming back in a powerful fashion.

Jon: I live on Narrow Lane in Sagaponack across form the railroad tracks. I spent time with students gathering the stories of people who live on that block. Got interested in Hispanic and the community around the volcano in Pueblo. I met this man from Pueblo and developed a 12-year friendship. Gone to visit him and learned a lot about humility and grace that many in that part of Mexico carry. Blind, illiterate, and still thrived there. Knowledge, aesthetic way of approaching world have had a strong influence which I never expected. His son went to my school, works for me in the summer, and I feel very close to them.

Chris: 1980-81: I am graduating school. Small vaudeville show, 5 people, 6 animals, 200 shows, 40 states. Itinerary: started off in Santa Barbara, opening in Fresno. In Oakland had first encounter with audience participation, when a young boy walked into the ring to offer an orange to our bear. Fortunately, the bear was unperturbed and the boy unharmed—so that was a success. Played mostly schools and public spaces. In Arkansas, first segregated facility.  Realized we weren’t supposed to be there. Back on road pine ridge, regain shot when in Appleton, Wisconsin. Played Oberlin Ohio, Gail, Colorado, and Staten Island show—healing through laughter. And then I realized I was a painter.

Kath: I had an encounter a few weeks after 9/11 that has haunted me. I used to record my poems in a tape recorder. It broke, so went into a Radio Shack. A Pakistani man is helping me. “What do you need it for?” Weird, but I am a poet and like to record my poems and listen to them back. I said, “Have you ever heard of [ famous Indian poet’s name]? I love his poetry and my husband read it at our wedding.” Talked about the poet etc., paid for the recorder and as I was leaving, he stopped me to say, “Thank you. You’re the only one who had treated me as a human in last 3 weeks.”

Dennis: Lived out here for 30 years. Here physically but not psychologically, because grandchildren are in FL. At a certain point, grandchildren are overwhelming. Wonderful, I have 2. Girl and boy, German. Daughter’s husband is from Honduras. They have changed my life. Go 4 or 5 times a year. Always wonderful things to remember. Were in wacko restaurant in West Palm Beach, and German bent over and picked something up. It was a brand new minted coin. I said, look at the coin, what do you see? He said, I see an eagle on the back and someone on the front. I said, well, it is probably a president. Asked who do you think? He said not sure. Girl says, probably Thomas Jefferson. Boy says, can’t be TJ, I think it is Donald Trump. And I thought, OMG what will happen to us? That was Christmas.

Alicia: I am at a point in my life, and the nation’s life, that things will not always be the way things have been. Not a life of deprivation, but different things might be coming. Think about stories of the depression. Across the board people suffered. Words come back to me. Grandpa ran small country store in Alabama. Heard story through mom and her siblings. He never refused anyone if he could help it. Kept a ledger, and he would try. Say I can’t do this anymore as he was handing the goods over to people who couldn’t pay. Reminds me of another man I knew who never seemed to work much, but never seemed to be wanting. He told such a vivid story of the depression. His family had to pack up and move to Ohio and they stopped at a gas station and saw a family with kids piled up in a truck. And that father said to his father if he could take the dog. His father couldn’t take it so he saw the other father take the dog and shoot it because he couldn’t afford to feed it. 

Joanne: My story is inspired by the news when then president-elect Trump and Obama received FBI reports—unverified info—which could be compromising to the president-elect. Go to internet and buzz feed, had this whole thing about golden showers and rain.  Immediately thought of Titian (painter) and the cherubs peeing on the nude. Couldn’t find it, but did find Titian’s “Danaë Receiving the Golden Rain.” Very erotic painting. Very dramatic, painted in 1550s. Started thinking that never in all my studies did I think allegory would become reality. I thought it was incredible. ALL roads lead to art.

Discussion

Connections in revelations. Stories of us all realizing something in the end.  Revelations of finding allegory, sharing, connecting, giving up self, food time. Allowing the giving and connecting of ourselves, finding and learning from other cultures, stepping outside one’s family. Connections in fear. What will happen. Realization that things could be worse than before. FEAR AND WORRY.

Telling stories of people on street and grew into something much bigger. And leaving country reinventing himself and coming back. Going away and looking from outside.

Met artist friend. Is African American, tall, dreads. Husband is Jewish dentist. They rented house out here. Spent time with her and her boring husband. She was frequently the only black person when we went out. We were in this one place and some white woman patted her on the arm and said, “I am so proud of you.” Turned to my friend and said wow, she replied that this happens all the time. I understood what it must be like to live in a segregated community and deal with this all the time. Looking at world through someone else’s eyes. We are not on the front lines, but we need to cultivate empathy now more than ever.

Leaving the country. I did same thing. Vietnam war, escaped army after flunking physical. Left country for 3 years. Gave perspective on living in other places and how fucked up my world had been. Race and class construct that I had taken for granted. I had plans not to come back, but I met a woman.

Traveling in this country. We have all done a fair amount. I was hitchhiking in my college years, and what you discover is that places are so different. Diversity in every possible way. This election did not surprise me because we delude ourselves that this country is the way we want it to be.

In 1980 everyone was saying how bad it was. Tense time, Reagan, anxiety on college campuses, churches. Interesting, looking at it from that perspective, it is the same kind of anxiety—it is largely economic. Racism is covert.

Devotion to singing. Since 4th grade have been in choir. I really love it. Why? I thought I know why… because in order to make a chorus meld, you have to listen to those around you. It is the listening that matters. The more you listen, the more they listen, the more you become a choir. And transcend what you want to be. Gets me every time.

One Word Wrap Up

Scott: Collective story

Jon: Good compost here

Chris: breath and death

Kath: listening trying to understand

Dennis: harmony

Alicia: empathy

Joanne: I am afraid

Mark-Antonio: epiphany. Seeing understanding and it coming to light.

Round 2

Jon: This feels to me very much like a natural disaster, but on an epic scale. Thinking back to Katrina, did work with people from New Orleans. Finding our folk. Musicians and artists who had been driven out of their home. It feels like that kind of disaster. Everything that we have worked (me specifically) seems in peril. Looking back to resistance to disaster.  Opportunists changing rapidly. Right after Katrina, I was talking with musician friends, asking if they would want to come north to do presentation at Hay Ground camp.  Brought FEMA trailer. Very wealthy camp, invited them to stay and talk to the camp, about 100 kids. 10 enormous powerful musicians from New Orleans. Kids and I sitting there and telling us about floods. Why they left, want to go back? One of the kids asked, “What is something really important when you are in a band?” Trumpet player gets up and says, “You have to share.” It’s hard but you got to do it. Reminds me of listening thing from last round [of Story Circle]. We need to help each other.

Scott: When I came back from living in England, CSA [Community Supported Agriculture] was just beginning. Here is something I can do. I can do this and feel part of society, and as poet felt excluded. Now there are many communities for agriculture. Went to conference in China last year, no one could have guessed 25 years ago. Had to struggle to be more inclusive. Why a struggle? Have something so organic and natural, why struggle? Camp Erutan, connecting with kids who’ve never been out of the city. Starting community gardens, etc. Such a struggle. Keep trying, but why is it never any easier?

Chris: Cyclical nature of struggle: ebbs and flows, high and low points. Seems to be the way the country is working. Book: The True Flag: Theodore Roosevelt, Mark Twain, and the Birth of American Empire, last time we had new media, led to creation of Teddy Roosevelt, led to imperialist culture, war in Philippines. Reform, then corruption again pin the 20s. The struggle goes on, never stops. That is life. Problem is we have gotten comfortable.

Kath: I used to run a poetry school thing. Lots of bad situations which turned into good ones.  One was a very bad high school. Couldn’t get anyone to work there. Went with 6th choice, first class went okay, not great. Then Rodney King riots happened. Principle called and said, “I’m not sure what is going to happen.” Nervous about her being with teenagers. White woman where most of the kids were black. She said, I have an idea.  Said I feel funny being up here and being white, and I want to start by yelling out whatever you feel. They did and she put them on board. Why not start poems with these phrases? Kids who did not write the first time, write the 2nd time. One of these kids wrote something incredible. Had him read his poem the next class. Friend couldn’t believe he wrote it. Inspired his friend to write. And wrote beautiful poems, layers peeled off to be himself in that class.

Joanne: I am afraid for my daughter. She finally got a job. Communications. Princeton, master’s degree, 10 and 5 yr old kids. I am worried Trump will fuck everything up USAID is funding. I am worried about my daughter and all the people who benefit form that funding. Seeds, satellites for advanced warning, sell crop insurance. Worried form grandchildren won’t have clean air, water. Selfish worries, but very real worries. Trying to use my words to try to make a difference. I am worried for my daughter.

Mark-Antonio: When we are going through the experience of the election, I had no fear, no worry. I spoke with people in great confidence that our country has been going in a great direction. Sure, saw some places we needed to work on, but had no fear what was to come. When it came I was angry, fearful, hopeless. Lashing out on social media. It was raw. Still raw today. I began to realize that this was taking up a lot of my time and energy; and what was it that I have control over? I began to answer these questions in my own mind. I noticed in my own mind that on facebook I need to propose answers to questions rather than fighting rhetoric. Look beyond my own fear and anger. More about making the connection and listening, understanding the fear of the other person. What motivates them? Really hard, and will continue to be a struggle for the next 4 years or longer. Struggle to connect that struggle to reach out and feel a part of again.

Discussion

Feel politicked. Wrote emails to senators complaining about what is going on, Elizabeth Warren involved. Not in my nature. Wrote a letter to Jay Schneiderman [Southampton Town Supervisor], such an asshole. Emailed local and national reps and I have never done that before. If more of us did something maybe we would have more of an impact.

Change in the way of experiencing news and habits of watching. Most people agree it has changed.

It is worse and made me look for other sources. Suspicious. Infotainment. We have lost, also a news junkie. Love hate but a lot more hate now.

Systemic shift beneath our feet. Sense of displacement. Struggle to come together and be incisive. That struggle being cyclical in nature ebbs and flows. Breaking barriers. Fighting though. Writing.  Power of sharing. Fear of what will happen. Anger, trepidation. Will we survive this. Wanting to take care of each other. Try and build a fence around each other and the community.

My habits changed. Do more. More questioning. More looking. Had negative aspects.  Loss of welcome. Comfort from gaining info becomes skeptical, breeds mistrust or reaction to fear. Biological system. Fear is a reaction to something bad. Burst of energy, adrenaline, shock for people who were comfortable with our progress. When that crashes down, we need to focus on the main problems. Maybe some positive aspects. Difficult to see picture from inside the frame. Embracing people with different viewpoints. Embrace the opposition and use this time to heal and band together to fight the real problems.

“What if House” in the upcoming student show at Parrish—similar to Story Circle: Students have come up with all sorts of questions, opening discourses. Come in and be part of the conversation. How to have a conversation and listen well. Hear how people have a conversation. Fearful as educator that kids are losing the ability to talk face to face and be emotive.

What changed for me is me listening and now reading views form the other side. The fought procession not so much to what is happening but their reaction to it.  Positive or negative. Interesting because everyone seems fearful (both sides) what this might look like for them. Started watching economic shows. How do people who are investing look at these issues? Opening up my thinking more widely. Don’t feel any better, but see what motivates the other side and what they might be thinking. See what the actions are on the other side. That has changed a lot for me

Social media as an echo chamber. Friends who agree with you. Opinions bounce back positive. Now echo chamber is a scary place, because fear reflected back. Encourage people to reach out of their comfort zone to see how other people are feeling. Get a more rounded view.

I am looking historically. We made this country through manifest destiny. Elimination of cultures, civil war, imperialism. We have become manifest anxiety. Media event but also compartmentalizing. You used to go out to a bar and have a drink, could have an argument, fight or conversation. Used to be everywhere in the 80s but now does not exist. All high end. Stoicism of great depression. Different landscape emotionally and temperamentally. Feeling of the inability to fix. I don’t think people are so interested in conversation.

Donald trump had 46 percent of vote, not high turnout. Media wants you to believe a radical shift is taking place. Not happening socially. Bernie supporter. Didn’t think Trump would really do those things. Interesting what 6 months from now will look like. Society is not fundamentally different than 6 moths ago.

Marches were a starting point. Building from there. Where the communication needs to happen, but I don’t see that being available. Going door to door no longer exists.

Organizing is happening.

Daughter took her 2 boys to march. I am sure it made an impression.

Different to go out in the street and say how I feel.

60s Vietnam, felt much more positive and spontaneous. I know it was well organized but people just showed up.

Our septic system collapsed the day of the inauguration. Looking at the picture and everyone in sag harbor. There was a certain joy about it. I have brought joy over to my saga. Joy amongst the dark period. Joy in remaking the way you think about your community.

One Word Wrap Up

Hopeful

Fight or Flight

In the dark time the eye begins to see

Digging with pen not the spade. I will be more of an activist writer.

Protests as positive. Not a minority group protesting, but the majority.

Fractured coalition

Rhizome—horizontal network. Very strong because connected but not visible. Pull it out and it grows more. We need to be like this.

Writers resist. Example of the mycorrhizal fungi or “tree shepherds”: They help their neighbors. We are all part of network/root system. Rather than hug in close and nourish self, they reach out and help each other and thrive.

Other models—beech trees. Working together. Can’t ignore just because we cannot see it.

This is what America looks like!

#PSOTU2017 #submission #watermill #newyork #parrishartmuseum