#thank you dan for letting me post this hhhhh

[peterfankoffski]

Ok ok uh,,,so I’ve been in love with @awigglycultist‘s Hatchetfield Swap AU for a lotta months now, especially the idea of Ted as Lex. So here’s a fic about that.

The mall wouldn’t open for another hour, but the parking spaces of Lakeside Mall were completely filled. And then some. The line of Black Friday shoppers reached almost a mile back, all for some stupid green doll. Whatever all the fuss was, Ted had never been sure. And today, he still wasn’t.

Ted stood at the back entrance of Toy Zone and lit a cigarette. He had been trying to kick the habit for his little brother’s sake but…today just seemed like the kind of day he needed it. Toy Zone was only the latest of his long list of shitty jobs, but Ted considered it to be by far one of the worst. It was probably the worst pay-to-hours worked ratio he’d had so far, not to mention what a complete asshole his boss was. Granted, Ted still felt a little guilty about his particular choice in coping mechanisms today, but it’d all be worth it once he’d saved enough money to get a start at a new life in California with Pete and Jenny. At the least, enough for gas and groceries, but he was sure he could figure it out from there when the time came. Ted was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice somebody walking up from behind.

“Ah, excuse me?” a mild-mannered voice stuttered. “The whole parking lot is full, is it alright if I park back here?”

Ted took a long draw from his cigarette, and without even looking up, he retorted, “Yeah, do you really want to disrupt holiday shopping by making the delivery trucks park across the street?”

“Well, no—”

Ted scoffed. “Look, you’re just going to have to wait in line like everyone else,” he said. He finally looked up to see a timid-looking man bundled in a burgundy coat. Ted knew who he was, and it took a lot to not immediately release the anger he had at him.

The man looked surprised for a moment. He blinked and said, “You’re Ted Spankoffski, right?”

“Yep.” Ted replied coldly. “And you’re Bill Woodward. You were my little brother’s science teacher until you suddenly decided to drop right off the face of the earth.” Ted observed the vaguest flash of guilt in Bill’s expression. “Don’t think I didn’t hear about that,” Ted continued. “You were Pete’s favorite teacher. He was absolutely crushed when you had to leave halfway through the year due to a ‘family emergency,’ or whatever.”

Bill opened his mouth like he was going to say something to defend himself. He visibly changed his mind and sighed.

“I’m sorry it happened. Really.”

“Tell Pete, not me,” Ted scoffed.

“I left him a note–”

“I saw the fucking note, actually. One that said that there was an emergency over Christmas break, but you promised you’d be back after spring break, right?” Ted asked. “Well, he’d counted down the days until March, and he said you hadn’t come back to class. So I told him, ‘maybe he needs one more day.’ So he went to school the next day with some cookies and a welcome back card, which he came home with. And he was clearly worried, but he didn’t want to say anything about it, so I told him, ‘remember how you dragged me to talk to Mr. Woodward at Parent-Teacher night? He gave me his phone number in case of emergency, or something, so I’ll call him to check on him, okay, Petey?’ So I tried a couple times, and twenty minutes later, there was still nothing.”

Bill didn’t say anything. He just looked wounded.

“Listen,” Ted continued, trying to sound calmer than he actually was, “Something bad happened. I get it. You were doing what was best for yourself. But it fucking broke my heart that Pete ended sixth grade in the fucking state he was. And starting this year just as disappointed.”

The two men both stayed silent for a while. Ted dropped his cigarette and put it out with his foot.

“You know what sucks the most about you disappearing like that?” Ted said. “You were the only teacher that ever had any faith in him. Usually when his teachers see his name on the roster, it’s ‘oh god, here’s another one. He’ll be the Spankoffski worst of them all, how can he not be with his crazy alcoholic mother that lives in a trailer park and his fuck-up brother who is nothing but wasted potential?’ You saw something in him, though. You were probably the first person to give Pete a chance.”

Ted watched, maybe with a little too much spite, as Bill let Ted’s rant sink in. Bill sighed.

“Ted. Tell Pete I’m sorry, please,” he said.

“Like I said, tell him yourself if you really care that much,” Ted snapped. He lit another cigarette. “I don’t fucking care where you park. Just get in line if you want a doll that bad. And stay away from my brother.” He brought the cigarette down, the smoke leaving a descending trail of ashy black. “I don’t want him hurt again.”

“You said that I could–”

“I know what I said.” Ted interrupted. “But I’d still rather protect him from being let down again.”

After what seemed like forever, Bill just whispered, “Right.” He cleared his throat and said a little louder, “Where’s the nearest entrance? I need to get that Wiggly doll as soon as possible.”

“Around the corner,” Ted responded apathetically. “But don’t count on getting one. There’s a limited supply and the line goes pretty far out.”

“Shoot,” Bill muttered. He turned around. Before he ran off, he looked back at Ted.

“Thank you for your help,” he said. “And for what it’s worth, I really am sorry, Ted,”

“Whatever,” Ted said.

He could not give less of a shit about Bill Woodward or anyone (or anything, for that matter) in the helltown that was Hatchetfield.

Ted reminded himself to focus on the bigger picture. Jenny would come by with the money from the eBay listing for the doll soon. It’d all be worth it once Jenny had the money from someone who wanted to buy that stupid green fucker, and then they could finally leave for California. Ted would be able to take his family away from everything that had been holding them back.

It’d be all worth it. He just had to hold out for the rest of the day.

#team starkid #starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #black friday musical #ted spankoffski #bill woodward #hf swap au #em writes fics #thank you dan for letting me post this hhhhh

[asrisgratitudejournal]

Useless

Wow my last post was on 13/06 and today is already 22/06?

How was my last week? Well, not bad. But also not good. Basically got ZERO work done. Did nothing the whole week. Oh nggak deng. Berhasil ngerapiin database excel, but that's it. I think I did it on last Thursday? I don't know why but I definitely am going back to the cycle of "I don't think I can do this. This is very difficult for me. I don't think I suit this." I even made a Tumblr post draft to trick my brain into writing a piece of scientific paragraph 4 days ago? But it just won't work.

Hhhhh sebelum spiraling into the world of negativity where I keep thinking of myself as useless (therefore the post title), let's, first of all, be grateful for things I should be grateful for:

1. My Biore sunscreen is here! It just arrived (like 5 mins ago) from Japan. Finally! Setelah battling nyari-nyari di amazon akhirnya nyampe juga walaupun agak mahal. Dan agak nggak berguna ya, since there will be no more sun anymore, not at least until this weekend. Huf. I hate British summer.

2. Got to have a pretty relaxing weekend. Last weekend, I got to pick up my Exeter stash on Saturday morning, did 20 min yoga with Kalina, did an Instagram live with Bunga (an Indonesian student working on English education in Lampung, apparently she found me via youtube -- wow thank you Edsel!), in which on the live I coughed a lot and my mom commented there telling me to drink water -- God, I love my mom so much), played badminton (a pretty intense session), and ate dinner out with Kalina, Arthur, and Hami (we got decent ramen in Westgate!). As for Sunday, I did basically nothing in the day and went to Rosa's landlord's garden party at 6 pm. It was a lovely evening, even though it's pretty cold outside and there's no sun at all. I got to meet Archu, Gupreeth, Vance (basically the badminton guys), and also new people (Carina, an Indonesian who's now a post-doc and team leader of AstraZeneca -wow-, Dexter, Rosa's landlord who's 57? and love Bob Dylan too much, Coraline, a french linguist student who was Dexter's past tenant, and Tim, Coraline's boyfriend, a German. 2 of Dexter's neighbors also came, but I didn't get a chance to talk to them so....

3. My sister's birthday present has arrived! I bought them TXT's freeze boy version. And it was there yesterday. She didn't get Soobin/Yeonjun as her photocard (she got Taehyun instead) but it's okay, though. Glad she's happy with what I got. Now I currently am still contemplating whether I should buy physical Butter or not because it's pretty expensive, but I really want themmm. Hhhh. Let's see until we got a teaser to help decide.

4. Some of my students passed the olympiad selection! On the weekend, I still take some gigs to teach for olympiad prep online (just so that I got things to do besides my research basically). And 3 of them passed the district selection which means I will have to have more sessions on the weekend! Yey! (Not sad at all to have more works to do because only by doing this side job I feel worth it and useful in a way?).

5. Got a bit productive today(?). I don't know if this is something to be proud of. But as for today, I already made myself work on someone's recommendation letter and also replied to some emails. I also did the laundry this morning! Yesterday I only made myself take a shower and I already considered that as an accomplishment. The bad weather is just adding more excuses for me to not go to the office today and yesterday :(

Let's wish for a better and productive day, shall we?

Best,

Asri

22/06 9 Woodlands Close, 14:38 pm

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Long Fic Titles (8 Words+) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: October 14th, 2019

part two

A Game For Those Who Seek To Find A Way To Leave Their World Behind - jilliancares

Summary: In which Dan finds a strange board game and ends up playing it (and releasing its horrors) with his best friend Carrie and arch enemy, Phil.

All These Cities And All These Towns (You’re In My Blood, And It’s All Around) (ao3) - globesandmaps

Summary: In which Dan and Phil successfully embark on a tour, talk about Shakespeare and linguistics, stop by a diner on a rainy afternoon, and remind each other how easy it is to keep falling in love with each other, over and over again; roadtrip!au

But It Takes Someone To Come Around To Show You How (ao3) - Cutaehyung

Summary: Phan Mute Soulmate AU. Dan is born mute into a world where once in everyone's life your soulmate will say the specific words that are tattooed onto your body, and bring you together. These words will save your life in more ways than imaginable. Whilst Dan resigns himself to the fact he will never have a soulmate, fate has different ideas...

Christmas Is A Time To Spend With Loved Ones But A Tweet Will Have To Suffice - secretlywritingstories

Summary: Dan and Phil go home to their respective families for Christmas but they suddenly become very active on Twitter, tweeting about random things. Only Dan and Phil are able to read between the lines within every tweet.

Close Your Eyes and I’ll Kiss You (Tomorrow I’ll Miss You) (ao3) - SimplyUndead

Summary: Summertime was the best time, if you asked either Dan Howell or Phil Lester. It was sunshine, catching waves, and no worries. When their paths cross, however, that all changes, and before either of them notices, summer becomes much more.

Doing Nothing Often Leads To The Very Best Of Something (ao3) - knlalla

Summary: based on this (x) and a lil imagine i wrote (x) and expanded on so thanks to the lovely anon who originally sent “that pic phil posted of dan for his bday i think where dan is making a funny face and theres a nearly empty wine bottle in the background hhhhh that makes my demon heart drop” and to the lovely anon who asked for more!

Even A Vegan With A Cold, Dead Heart Ships It (aka Paul) - ticklishhpickle

Summary: Phil and his sassy Christmas elf boyfriend couldn't be happier they're together, and neither could Santa. Phil's cynical roommate, Paul needs a little more time to warm up to Dan however.

Here By My Side, A New Colour To Paint The World (ao3) - Cadensaurus

Summary: So one day, Phil walks in on Dan wearing a dress. And after a very confusing discussion, it comes out that Dan enjoys wearing girl's clothing in private. Phil lets it be known that he'd be fine if Dan wore it around him and slowly, Dan starts opening up and letting Phil into his private world. But what Phil doesn't expect is to start seeing Dan in a whole new way.

Home Is Where We Love (We Keep this Love in a Photograph) - chocolatesaucelester

Summary: A mini snippet into the lives of Dan and Phil Howell-Lester and their children.

If The Sky That We Look Upon (Should Tumble And Fall) (ao3) - blueshirt

Summary: 2015 through Phil's eyes.

I Hate You For Ruining Me, Yet I Love You For Being With Me - danisnotlikingvagina

Summary: A good life, a good job, a good boyfriend. That’s all you need to be happy isn’t it? Only bad things happen to others, not yourself, right? Boyfriends don’t lie to each other. Do they?

Lay My Weary Head Against Your Bones (Where All Our Troubles Will Be Dead And Gone) (ao3) - rainbowroshenpower

Summary: In which Dan and Phil are the closest of friends until Dan gets sick and his parents decide to send him away.

Kissing On The Kitchen Floor, Our Friendship Up Against The Ropes (ao3) - glasseslouis

Summary: it’s 2009, dan still can’t fully comprehend that he’s sat in phil’s bedroom filming pinof, and they decide to indulge themselves.

Pretty Odd (Things Have Changed For Me and That's Okay) (ao3) - Cadensaurus

Summary: Baby!fic in which one day, Phil wakes up with a baby in his bedroom and finds out that apparently he and Dan are the only ones who don't know where this baby came from, as everybody else claims that it's Phil's. What happens next is they then end up raising a baby together, with no less than a few existential crises from both of them along the way, as well as plenty of blunders and mishaps. Oh, and through it all, Phil starts falling for Dan but doesn't dare tell him because he can't risk losing his best friend.

Said It Was Love And Did It For Life (Did It For You) (ao3) - deletable_bird

Summary: Dan is down on his knees the first time Phil mentions weddings with any seriousness.

So Tell Me When You’re Going To Let Me In - definitelythor

Summary: After Dan’s kicked out of his family home at Christmas, he picks up a hitchhiker on the way to York, and at first he wonders if he’s made a huge mistake. But Phil’s actually kind of perfect, and maybe fate does exist after all.

The Enemy of My Enemy Is Not My Friend and My Enemy Is Actually My Secret Lover (ao3) - darkness_prince_dan

Summary: Vampires and werewolves have been enemies since the dawn of time, that’s common knowledge. But it doesn’t stop Phil, a werewolf, and Dan, a vampire, from falling for each other and becoming Romeo and Juliet of the supernatural world, though hopefully without the tragic ending.

Timid Heart, Hide My Scars (Make Me Stronger) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Dan has trust issues thanks to his abusive ex-boyfriend. Then, he meets Phil by randomly bumping into him one day. Dan’s worried about Phil finding out about his past. Phil shows Dan that not every man is like Matthew.

Touch My Neck and I’ll Touch Yours, You in Those Little High-Waisted Shorts - analester

Summary: Dan and Phil are hiking in Denver, Colorado, and Phil can’t stop thinking about how hot Dan looks.

(When You Gonna Realise) It Was Just That The Time Was Wrong (ao3) - The_Blonde

Summary: Phil works in a coffee shop. Or at an animal sanctuary. Or at a university. Maybe he's a Youtuber. Maybe he runs an editing firm. Sometimes he's in the 1920s. In all of these places he has dreams. In all of these places he is in love with Dan. It's just trying to work out which time is the right one.

You And Me Have Got A Whole Lot Of History - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Dan and Phil are both teachers at a school and everybody knows that they hate each other but they don’t know why, the students take it upon themselves to finally get Mr. Howell and Mr. Lester to stop fighting.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #longfictitles #longfictitles masterlist