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shasta627 · 5 years

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Eleteo Week Day 5: Hurt/Comfort/Angst

So I’m super late with this and I’ll probably be posting all my other fics out of order too, but at least I’m getting them done so that’s saying something ahaha. Anyway, I started this a while ago and just finally got it finished, so I hope y’all like some good blind Eleteo angst (with a happy ending tho it’s okay).

To All the Things We Cannot See

It’s at the beginning of the year that Mateo notices he needs to squint in order to read the text in his spellbooks, but it doesn't bother him too much. He thinks he’s just tired, and there's no reason to worry about it.

He puts the observation in the back of his mind and continues on with his daily life...

A few months go by before he notices his diminishing eyesight is definitely not due to lack of sleep. He keeps squinting at everything now, trying as hard as he can to make out a clear picture, but it's all fuzzy and indistinct and hard to focus on what he's seeing.

Maybe it’s because he reads in the dark? His mami often tells him it’s a sure way to put strain on his eyes, but he's never believed her. Maybe he should start heeding her advice from now on, he decides, and returns to his work.

It isn't until he's talking with Elena a few weeks later that he realizes it may be more serious than he thinks.

“I don't understand,” he's telling her one afternoon. “I can't find the vial anywhere! I've looked all around my workshop and the library, but it's like it's just disappeared.” He frowns, shaking his head in frustration.

Elena’s frown mimics his own as she comes to stand beside him at his desk. “But Mateo,” she says to him. “Isn’t it right here?” She grabs an object off of the desk and hands it to him, and sure enough, it’s the vial.

“But…” he trails off, squinting at the empty cylinder in astonishment. Now that it’s in his hand he can see it’s the very object he’s been searching for all day, but earlier it looked just like the pestle he uses to ground up herbs for his potions.

He sets the vial down and rubs a hand along the side of his face. “I think I need glasses,” he announces in all seriousness, but Elena just laughs and places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” she reassures. “It happens to everyone. Just the other day I spent a good twenty minutes searching for my scepter before realizing it was already in my sheath.” She giggles again, and Mateo can’t help but smile at her in return.

But in the back of his mind the worry lingers, and he knows something is terribly, terribly wrong.

He finally decides to visit the palace physician after he accidentally walks into a wall while heading to the library.

“So what seems to be the problem?” the physician asks as soon as Mateo steps into her office.

Mateo glances around the room in confusion before answering with a question of his own. “Why...why is it so dark in here?”

He vaguely sees the doctor frown before she steps closer to him, her eyes scanning his face. “I assume you came because of your eyes,” she says, much to Mateo’s astonishment.

“How did you know?” he asks hesitantly. Did his face immediately betray his predicament?

“This room's fairly well lit, yet to you it’s dark. That seems like a vision problem to me,” she explains before having him undergo several eye tests.

The results are not great, to say the least.

The physician hums in discontent as she looks over the notes she took while he was performing the various vision exercises she gave him. “It isn’t looking too good,” she admits softly.

Mateo’s stomach clenches. “What does that mean? Do I need glasses?”

The look of pity she fixes him with is almost worse than the news she delivers.

“Your vision is going fast,” she says. “And in a few months, I’m guessing you’ll be completely blind.”

Mateo sits on the steps of the palace and fastens his eyes on the sunset before him. It’s a common sight in Avalor, yet he realizes he's never given much thought to the canvas of colors in the sky before, and with a pang of remorse he knows it’s a sight he's going to definitely miss seeing.

He’s been trying his best not to panic. As soon as the doctor told him the news he ran back to his workshop as fast as he could and began trying to find a way to reverse the blindness, but there is only so much magic can do.

He can feel the fear creeping up, the black monster of panic wrapping around his heart and squeezing it in a vice-like grip, but so far he’s kept it at bay.

For today, at least.

He hears footsteps behind him and suddenly Elena is by his shoulder, sitting down next to him.

“Hey! What’re you doing out—” she pauses, and Mateo assumes she’s seen his grave face. “What’s wrong?” she asks instead, her voice soft and concerned.

Mateo turns to look at her, and soon realizes what a horrible mistake it was.

All at once he realizes that in a few months he’ll never be able to see her again. He’ll never see her beautiful face with her perfectly red lips, or large chocolate eyes and deep brown hair that tumbles down her back in elegant waves. He realizes he’ll never see her smile again, or the way her eyes crinkle when she laughs, or the way she bites her bottom lip when she’s deep in thought.

All these realizations flash through his head in a matter of seconds, and then he’s shaking, clenching his fists at the injustice of it all.

He turns away before he can lose the cool composure he's being trying to maintain all day. He's not sure how to break the news to her, and he tells himself that his hesitation is because he doesn't want her to worry or pity him, but deep inside he feels his stomach knot with anxiety as the gravity of the situation becomes so much heavier. Once he voices his condition it becomes real; it won't be just a nightmare plaguing his mind anymore. He can't just pretend it's all a dream. He's almost tempted to just lie and give her a vague response, to tell her that he's sick and leave it at that, but this is Elena. She cared and he knew it, and he couldn't lie to her, not about this.

And so he opens his mouth, his voice coming out in a hoarse whisper. “I'm going blind,” he says, his eyes trained on the stone steps by their feet.

And as much as he loves the enchanting, melodic sound of her voice, for once he's thankful that she's quiet and says nothing, instead just reaching forward to gently take his hand in hers in silent shock, twining their fingers together. Mateo squeezes her hand tightly in response, and finally lifts his eyes back up to the sunset.

The scene is blurry, and this time he isn't sure if it's because of his failing vision, or because of the tears forming in his eyes.

It's only been a week since his diagnosis, and already most of Avalor has heard the news.

The hardest part had been telling his mom, and for the first time he truly wished he was already blind so he wouldn't have had to see the way her face morphed into an expression of heartbroken pity.

He allows the sympathy from his mother, yet he makes all of his friends swear not to feel sorry for him, knowing it would only make the situation all the more uncomfortable and depressing than it already was.

He's still searching, night and day for some sort of spell or potion that can cure him, but according to the physician his vision loss is due to genetics, and he's not certain if magic can permanently rewrite DNA.

It's when his eyesight is about halfway gone that Mateo approaches Elena, holding a crisp piece of paper folded in his hands.

“What's this?” she asks curiously when he hands it to her.

“My resignation letter,” he admits in a soft voice. “Avalor can't have a royal wizard that's blind.”

Elena reads over the letter, her face void of any emotion. Then she rips it in half and crumples up the pieces into a ball.

“Resignation denied,” she tells him, folding her arms across her chest in a defensive stance, as though signaling that her decision is final.

Mateo gaps at her. “But Elena,” he counters, his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “How can I learn new magic if I can't read anymore? And how am I supposed to brew potions and cast spells if I can't see what I'm doing?”

“Nonsense. You still have four other senses, y’know,” Elena points out. “And you don’t really need to see to do magic. You still know the spells, you know how to use a tamborita, and you can learn through muscle memory how to make different potions.”

“But Elena—” He begins to protest, but Elena brings up her hands to silence him.

“Plus, you still have all of us and an apprentice to help you,” she reminds him. “Don’t give up on yourself Mateo, because no one’s given up on you.”

Mateo wants to disagree, to convince her that he’s going to become a liability rather than an asset to the kingdom, but her words warm his heart and he wants to believe them, so he simply gives her small nod and turns to leave before she reaches out and catches his arm.

“Mateo…” her voice is soft and Mateo suspects her expression is one of compassion. “You’re irreplaceable. I hope you know that.”

He doesn’t trust his voice so he gently puts his hand over hers and hopes her words ring true.

Days pass by while the months slowly crawl, and Mateo tries his best to adapt to his new lifestyle. He can still see a little bit, but everything is hazy and blends into shadows and he can no longer discern the little details present on everything around him.

He learns how to make his way around the palace and the majority of the town based on pure memorization, and discovers how to differentiate his potions based on the size and weight of the vials they’re contained in.

For a while it seems like everything will be fine. He’s trying to keep a positive outlook on the situation and for the most part succeeds, especially when he’s with his friends and family and they all act as though nothing is wrong, as though their faces aren’t becoming indiscernible to him.

But it’s when he’s alone that it becomes the worst.

It’s been three months since his diagnosis now and he's standing in the courtyard, barely able to see the early morning sun glinting above the horizon, his hand shaking slightly as he holds out his tamborita in front of him.

He can still do this.

The potted plant across the enclosure acts as his target, and it’s not too far away. He should be able to knock it over with a simple spell.

But the target is fuzzy and when he tries to squint and focus on the plant it seems to shift and blend into its surroundings.

He calls out the spell and slaps his palm against the head of he tamborita, and winces as it hits the wall behind the target. He tries again, his hands shaking more and his breath unsteady at the aggravation clouding his mind. He can do this. He has to be able to do this.

But the third time he tries the spell is cast way off, and ends up hitting the garden trellis on the other side of the courtyard.

“Mateo!” he hears Elena’s voice call in concern, and then suddenly he feels her beside him and her hands are on his arm, lowering his tamborita and gently removing it from his clenched fist. “What are you doing? You’re not hurt, are you?”

Mateo shakes his head, his chest aching in an effort to keep his emotions at bay. “I’m—I’m fine,” he mumbles, his voice thick.

“Then what in Avalor were you doing?” Elena asks exasperatedly, and even though he can’t see it Mateo knows there’s a worried expression currently etched into her features.

“It’s...nothing,” Mateo huffs, turning away from her and heading back to his workshop. She doesn’t need to see him like this; to see how fragile and weak he is, and that his lack of vision is affecting him more than he’d like to admit.

But of course she follows him, ever the concerned friend. “You practically destroyed half the garden—I wouldn’t call that nothing,” she presses, and Mateo only quickens his steps, trying to get away before he loses control. They reach his workshop and he goes to stand behind his desk, pretending to try and look down at the book lying open there so she can’t see his face.

“I was just practicing,” he says, hoping she’ll get the hint from his cold tone of voice and leave.

She doesn’t, however, and only comes closer. “Why?” she insists. “Mateo, I know there’s something wrong, and if you could just tell me then maybe I could help—”

“Don’t,” he finally snaps, his hands clenched into fists on top of his desk. “Don’t pretend like you can fix this. I’m broken, Elena.” His voice cracks and he hates himself all the more for it. “I’m a mess, and I can’t even hit a stupid plant with a spell anymore. I—I just—” He’s finding it hard to breath. “I don’t know what to do, and it all just makes me so angry.” The pent up frustration and resentment he’s been harboring toward his condition begins to boil over. “It’s not fair! What did I do to deserve this?”

And before he can stop to think he angrily sweeps his arm across the top of his desk, and sends the large tome he was pretending to read careening to the floor. The loud thud gives him a brief moment of satisfaction before his rage dissipates, and then he sinks to the ground, hot, bitter tears flowing freely from his clenched eyes as he buries his head in his hands. He can’t hold back anymore; it’s too much for him to try and bottle up. He doesn’t even care that Elena’s there anymore; he’s exhausted of pretending everything is fine, and doesn’t know how to handle it all.

But a few moments later he feels Elena’s cool hands on his cheeks as she curls up beside him and pulls his face against her chest, gently stroking his hair as his tears continue to flow. She whispers his name soothingly and occasionally presses soft kisses on his forehead, simply there to hold him and offer comfort through her presence. Mateo just grips her tightly, as though she’s the only lifeline he has left, and cries harder than he ever has before. He cries for friends, family, and himself, and for the sights he’ll never be able to see again.

It’s a warm, Tuesday morning two weeks after his breakdown that it happens. He wakes up and opens his eyes and is greeted with nothing but darkness. He sits up and simply stares at the wall he knows is across from him.

It isn’t as terrifying as he imagined it to be. Definitely strange, but not entirely disconcerting. He’s been preparing himself for this moment for the last four months, so he supposes that explains the weird sense of calm he feels as he stands and begins his morning routine. What’s done has been done, and he figures there’s no point in shedding tears over something he can no longer fix. After he’s dressed and presentable he simply leaves his room with a long sigh, ready to go and break the news to his friends and family.

“Elena,” Mateo begins in slight exasperation after she opens the door for him for the sixth time that day, “I appreciate you wanting to help me, really, but I’m not entirely helpless. I can do things on my own, too.”

It’s been a week since he completely lost his sight, and although he’s appreciated the constant support form those around him, it was getting to be a bit much.

He can almost imagine Elena’s expression at his words, the way her lips are probably twisted into a frown and her eyes full of concern. His cheeks burn in shame at the way she is no doubt pitying him. “You don’t have to stick around because you feel sorry for me. I don’t...I don’t want to burden you. I’m sure you have better things to do.”

She’s silent and he wonders what’s going through her brain. “Mateo,” she finally begins, slight confusion evident in her tone. “You know you’re not a burden to me. And I’m not sticking beside you solely out of pity.”

“Then why?” he retorts in an exasperated huff, his emotions suddenly spiking in annoyance. “Why else would you hang out with me all the time, other than to make sure I’m not going to hurt myself? To make sure I’m not helpless?” He knows in the back of his mind that this is what he fears—that people only see him as a hindrance, and even though he’s been battling this fear ever since he learned of his condition it still often presents itself as a legitimate possibility.

“Mateo,” Elena chides almost affrontedly. “I know you’re perfectly capable of handling yourself, I just...get over zealous at times, I guess.”

They’re in the library now, and everything is completely still and quiet around them. Mateo accepts her explanation with a single nod and turns to head into his workshop, but the sound of her heavy breathing stops him. He turns back around and faces her general direction, wondering what in Avalor she’s thinking to have her so breathless.

He’s about to ask when she begins to speak again.

“And also I...I care about you, a lot, Mateo, and I—” she pauses, and then he hears the fabric of her dress rustle as she moves closer and takes his hand. “You make me feel like no one else, and I can hardly describe it, it’s just...I want to spend time with you for you, not because I think you’re incompetent or anything.”

Mateo’s standing as still as a statue, his mouth opening in pure shock. He’s always loved her—he accepted the fact a long time ago—but now here she is, saying she cares for him, even after she’s seen him struggle and break down several times throughout these past few months? And she still likes him for him, despite all his shortcomings?

“You don’t have to say anything back,” Elena quickly says, trying to fill in the silence. “I just...thought you should know the truth.” She begins to pull away but Mateo’s grip on her hand keeps her anchored in place.

His heart is pounding and he’s pretty sure it isn’t healthy to be experiencing so many emotions at once, but one muddled thought breaks through the chaos in his mind. He needs to let her know, too.

He reaches up his hand to gently touch the side of her face, running his finger down her cheekbone and to the edge of her chin with a newfound confidence only his lack of sight seemed to procure.

Elena remains frozen in place as his fingers gently map out the contours of her face, and he smiles as he can picture every feature in perfect detail. He doesn’t miss her subtle intake of breath when his fingers ghost over her lips, and he finds himself lingering there, unable to tear his fingers away.

“Mateo,” she whispers softly, and he can almost feel the word against his skin rather than hear it.

Without a second thought he leans down to where he knows her lips to be and presses his own against them. And as they slowly but surely lose themselves in their sweet exchange, Mateo realizes that he doesn’t need his sight to kiss her, and just for a moment he forgets he’s blind. They both do.

And just for a moment, everything is perfect.

And he knows the future will be, too.

#elena of avalor #eleteo appreciation week #my fic #elena castillo flores #mateo de alva #elena x mateo #not my best work but still #Eleteo

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howelldelia · 4 years

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gilda-dent · 7 years

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Lots of MEA spoilers xane dont read this

#mass effect #mea #mea spoilers #mass effect andromeda spoilers #rydad #this is really kinda everywhere but ive got lots of feelings

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dive-into-marketing · 6 years

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Lessons on branding for the consultant This book was written for independent consultants and small consulting practices, and Alan Weiss effectively focuses on the core subject of branding. While the content that the author provides is written for those new to branding, Weiss also mentions that his discussion is targeted at successful consulting entities, although in the opinion of this reviewer the material can also be applied by those who have relatively less experience and who wish to start positioning themselves. In the introduction to this work, the author mentions that he did not write for those consultants who position themselves in a way which does not explain what is in it for potential clients, but for successful professionals who understand that "acquiring business is about convincing the prospect that a partnership will improve the latter's condition by a huge multiple of whatever investment is required" and "want others to seek them out because they have created a great interest in who they are and what they do". This book slowly walks through the reasons why consultants need brands to thrive, why experienced consultants already have the makings of a brand at hand, how to use brands to attract buyers, the branding power behind writing a book and hitting the lecture circuit, myths of branding, publicizing brands and creating products to boost brands, and other related branding topics. The introductory chapters are written especially well. For example, the explanation provided on "positioning a brand so that the brand positions you" depicts a Venn diagram that shows very clearly how the three converging paths to establish brands (market need, competency, and passion) are "as much about passion as customer's needs. But both are needed. Too many consultants have a beloved methodology that has one drawback: No one else is interested in it". Weiss also shares some of the same insights that McKenna provides in "The World's Newest Profession: Management Consulting in the Twentieth Century" (see my review for that book). For example, the author notes that "this is not a profession that carries a great deal of endemic respect, and it's made worse by the fact that it's totally unregulated. Hence, good consultants need to separate themselves from those between jobs, those who are just dabbling, moonlighting college professors, and the generally inept" and shares his rule of thumb that "about 50 percent of the people claiming to be consultants actually do not know what they're doing and have no methodology or even operating philosophy". Some of the thoughts which Weiss shares are reminiscent of Gerald M. Weinberg's "The Secrets of Consulting" (see my review for that book, also written by a consultant's consultant), always practical though void of some of the humor in that other work, such as: "You have to wield the branding iron. You can't wait for the world to brand you. It's too slow, too erratic, and always quite painful" and "Branding must be built on repetitive and distinctive abilities and accomplishments that can be replicated. If you can't duplicate it, or it isn't sufficiently distinguishing, it's an isolated incident and not a brand, no matter how successful at the time". The chapter on writing a book, "How to Write a Book, Even if You've Never Written Your Mother" is a book in itself, concisely written and packed with insightful advice from the author's own experiences in writing, including a simple step-by-step approach to effectively writing and publishing a business book. Another especially well received chapter by this reviewer is "The Twelve Myths of 21st Century Branding" that explores the following myths: "a tight intellectual argument is sufficient", "you must analyze the environment for need", "clever catch phrases and adages are sufficient", "brands are developed over a long period of time", "brands must be honed for specific, defined targets", "advertising is the be all and end all in branding", "you can only brand a tangible product", "brands require active, aggressive management", "brands need to be specific and focused", "brands must continually grow toward universal recognition", "the brand is external to the customer", and "brands in and of themselves have little value without substance". In the concluding pages of the book, Weiss notes that "one of the dangers in these intense examinations of specific techniques is that, conceptually, the entire scheme makes sense and, tactically, nothing happens!" The solution that the author provides is improving one percent per day. "The problem, of course, is that most people (and most organizations) don't even manage that modest improvement. Or, worse, they await the ephiphany, where everything is supposed to change overnight. But the truth is that we don't normally advance through the invention of fax machines or breakthroughs in new methods to exploit the Internet. We advance by accretion, a little bit at a time, but steadily, every single day. The great organizations are the beneficiaries of tens of thousands of employees trying to work a little smarter and a little better every day, and the poor ones merely house legions of people who can't wait to go home at five". Go to Amazon

Very valuable; Online bit needs an update As my title already says, Alan Weiss is really good. Go to Amazon

Useful for Seasoned Practitioners As a full-time practicing consultant to FDA-regulated industries for the past 5+ years, I enjoy and benefit from all of Weiss' books. 'Tho much of the information is repeated, it still serves to motivate. And, if each reading causes me to initiate only one more new (to me) technique, it is money and time well spent. Consulting tends to be a somewhat lonely profession, and part of my support group are books such as this. If you agree w/ such benefits, then I recommend this (and his others) heartily. Go to Amazon

Alan is the authority on all things consulting. This ... Alan is the authority on all things consulting. This is one of the most important start up books if you plan to build a brand and a big boat! Go to Amazon

Maximum Impact Branding Once again Alan Weiss topples typical thinking and challenges readers with critical thinking. The most powerful concept in the book is the power of branding leverage. A majority of consultants busy themselves with input methods that allow them to feel productive, but the output of their practice does not match. Alan shows how to rake in business through branding, plus how to keep it flowing with minimal effort and maximum return. For those who may feel overwhelmed by all the options, he includes a quick start guide that shortcuts the "Where do I start?" trap. Following these principles will put value in the lives of your clients, secure your reputation in a field without regulation, and provide multiple streams for turning your expertise into wealth. Go to Amazon

Branding a Unique Image This terrific book covers ground I haven't seen elsewhere in the consulting field, including: umbrella brands, brand equity, establishing your name as the brand, tying-in products, using the media, and a great deal more. There is one reviewer who has posted the identical, negative review in all of Dr. Weiss's books: they are "repeats" of his classic "Million Dollar Consulting." There is no way this lengthy explanation of branding receives more than cursory mention in "Million Dollar Consulting," as good as that book may be. I doubt the negative review is based on actual reading of the book. For consultants who are rushing from "fire to fire," this is a great resource to slow us down and tackle the longer-term marketing which will result in business pursuing us rather than the other way around. There is nothing revolutionary here, just solid, pragmatic advice to use tomorrow. Go to Amazon

Another KILLER Book - How to market and differtiate YOU ! Not just for the individual but also for the person in firm. I have applied Alan's ideas in selling professional services and differentiating my "products" from in-house work and competitors. The book is packed full of ideas. Implement two and it may take awhile to see the results - but it comes. As the other editorials write - it's not about cold calling - it's about the client(s) coming to you. Sound impossible. Read the book, it will be the best investment you ever make!! And I do mean investment - it'd take you take years to think of some of these ideas - if ever. Go to Amazon

This Could be the Consultant's Branding Bible As an experienced consultant who specializes in marketing and developing brands for clients (companies and independent consultants), as well as an author of marketing books, I was very pleased with Alan's book. He covers all the bases that anyone who wants to market themselves and build a consulting brand should cover. His points about establishing separate brands or positionings for each area you work in is an excellent one. Too many consultants think that they have only one brand and this book convinces you that you can have several. Alan also talks about his marketing gravity concept, which every consultant should employ. Everyone who consults should read this book as well as the entire series he is creating. If you are successful as a consultant, or want to be successful, or want to continue to be successful, follow Alan's advice. You'll be glad you did. Go to Amazon

Branding Your Way to the Top of Your Field Alan tells it like it is Another million dollars worth of advice

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fooboo24 · 7 years

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info about my (current) ryders under the cut, basically just for my own reference

format comes from the ryder tag going around before the game came out (i was never tagged but still using it lmao)

Name: Rue Ryder

Gender: cis female

Ethnicity: Egyptian-Mexican (via her mother), Portuguese-Canadian (via father)

Eye Color: deep brown

Hair Color/Description: Naturally, her hair is a dark brown and straight. However, back in the milky way, she frequently balayaged her hair blonde and got some kind of hair treatment to make it wavy/curly.

Skin (Color, blemishes, tattoos, ect): MOLES ALL OVER. Dark-skinned, a few scars, only one major, noticeable one that stretches from her left ear, under and across her jaw, finishing at her chin.

Misc physical attributes: Short (5′2″), Buff(tm)

Preferred romance option: Reyes, but maaaaaybe Jaal?

Relationship with Alec & Sibling (Do they get along? ect.): She loves her family a lot, even if they don’t always get along. Her father was always hard on her and her brother to succeed and be the best of the best, and while she resented him in her earlier years for it, she inwardly forgave him a lot when she realized he just wanted the best for them.

Her brother and her are besties. She plays the “I’m the older one” card a lot on him, and they have the typical sibling love-hate relationship, but ultimately they love each other and will always be there for each other, if only because they know that in some ways, they’re all the other has.

Projected BFF (The squad mate who isn’t bae but you always take): Drack or Peebee.

Dreams/Hobbies/Likes: To just explore Andromeda freely with her friends, without Pathfinder responsibilities lording over her. She just wants to chill and do her thing in space, basically.

She likes to work out a lot, draw, absentmindedly study, collect atrocious yet oddly perfect accessories, and socializing. Never not down for movie night or spending time with people, especially if she has work-related things she can put off.

She loves clothing and accessories (ranging from haute couture to tacky af), learning languages and pondering over Mysterious Shit, and blueberries.

Fears/Dislikes: Dying, finality, losing someone important, infinite space (she is fascinated by space, but is also scared of it?)

Squishy textures (they gross her out), bugs of literally any variety (she’s kind of ‘blech’ about them), oranges (rue: smells good, ain’t gonna eat it tho)

Other (What else should we know about your Ryder):

She’s a linguist/anthropologist with a linguistic specialization. She has ADHD and actively takes medication for it. Bisexual/Pansexual and openly flirty, but has a difficult time with the ~deeper~ aspects of a romantic relationship. Doesn’t like being told what to do or how to do something (by a teacher/expert it’s fine, by a know-it-all, no), and becomes resistant and reluctant if forced to do something. Had to significantly downsize her personal Tacky Sunglasses collection and book collection upon coming to Andromeda, legitimately distraught upon doing so. Likes to sing, but she can’t do it well (her brother, alternately, can, but hates singing, easily embarrassed). Very confident, probably dangerously so.

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Name: Caroline Ryder

Gender: cis female

Ethnicity: Korean (via mother), French-Japanese (via father)

Eye Color: dark brown (black at typical glance)

Hair Color/Description: Full, thick, long, glossy, and black. Doesn’t wear hair down often (kind of shy about if for some reason), but won’t cut it off because she enjoys messing with it with different styles. Usually wears her hair back in a braided bun.

Skin (Color, blemishes, tattoos, ect): Several moles. Pale-skinned

Misc physical attributes: Tall (5′11″), slim of body, monolid eyes, thick brows

Preferred romance option: In my headcanon-verse, she gets together with Cora. Actually in game, probably Peebee or Suvi (I feel like Peebee would lighten her up, but Suvi would suit her better overall so???).

Relationship with Alec & Sibling (Do they get along? ect.): Her father was not often around when Caroline and her brother (and, once again in my headcanon-verse, their younger sister, June), were growing up, so her initial perceptions of him were distant, but she thought him a strong and important figure in the scope of things due to the urgency of his job and the gravity of the tasks he was given. When she was older and her father was around more, there was an attempt to become closer facilitated by her mother and herself, but it never caught on and Caroline learned just what kind of a man her father was - gruff, distant, and largely emotionally reluctant. After one too many times being ignored, she gave up and grew to distrust and dislike her father, but there was still a cold, impersonal respect of his position and skills there. Her father’s best relationship with any of his children was with June, whom he seemed to be more open, warm, and supportive with, leading Caroline, much to her dismay, to become somewhat jealous of her younger sister.

She had a closer relationship with her mother, whom was the parent most often seen by her and her siblings. She wanted to be a scientist when she grew up due to her closeness with her mother, and in due time when to school to study genetics. Her mother’s death caused her great grief.

Her relationship with her brother was originally poor due to the fact that they were often pitted against each other in terms of success by their father and others around them. They were usually compared and contrasted when it came to most aspects of themselves, and as such they competed harshly and a competitiveness far beyond simple rivalry formed. While both were brilliant students, her brother usually “beat” her in terms of grades by only the slightest margins. Caroline, in an effort to differentiate herself from her brother and achieve great feats for recognition elsewhere, took to becoming a martial and weapons expert, a field she excelled in whereas her brother did not. Caroline did not gloat, but took great pride in this accomplishment of hers. Her relationship with her brother still is not stellar when they set out for Andromeda, but it improves slowly after he stabilizes.

(jesus i just blabbered a lot there, didn’t i....)

Projected BFF (The squad mate who isn’t bae but you always take):

Jaal probably. He’s respectful and polite and considerate, so I think she’d appreciate him a lot.

Dreams/Hobbies/Likes:

Caroline wants her efforts and accomplishments to be acknowledged, respected, and remembered. She is fully dedicated to the Andromeda Initiative, and wants to see it succeed and thrive. She wants to do as much as she can to achieve this.

She’s pretty lonesome in her hobbies. She doesn’t like to go out of her way to socialize, and prefers to be alone. She likes to work on guns and weapons, personalizing and enhancing them in damage output and aesthetic. She also enjoys researching with Lexi (primarily Kett and Angara genetics) and writing and reading papers in her spare time. Occasionally, she gardens and plants, but feels mildly guilty in doing so because she thinks the activity indulgent and non-beneficial to others as a whole.

She likes all variety of meats and does not drink.

Fears/Dislikes: Failure, becoming like her father, becoming close to others, forgetting her mother.

Underperforming, excessive attention, the colour green, and sugary foods.

Other (What else should we know about your Ryder):

Lesbian. The most like her father out of all her siblings, something she refuses to realize/acknowledge. Not very social, emotionally distant and lonely, incredibly intelligent, a deadly shot, comes off as cold, actually just awkward in many a social situation. Probably depressed, to a degree. Not artistically inclined at all. Secretly names her personalized guns. Spends probably way too much time working on them. Enjoys fighting and weapon work more than she’s willing to admit, more so than her scientific work, and feels guilty in this, like she’s letting her mother’s memory down.

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DAMN THAT TOOK A WHILE OKAYYYY THAT’S ITTT

might change some stuff about them later/expand on some things but this works for now~!!

#ryder #riley shit #i have another but i need to get a better grasp of her overall character to be able to do one of these for her

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