#that the ppl i thought didnt care sat there worried and cried when i fainted... just becayse they care doesn't justify the shit they did

[blueprint-han]

Dawnie, you okay? ~ 🐧

That's a hard question to answer honestly I'll rant about it in the tags if that's okay

#idk i just... it took me a great deal of emotional pain to come clean to my mother about my depression and handle her taunts until i was #finally able to patch my life up bit by bit... i finally felt like i was getting normal but then this seizure had to happen and now every #thing in my life has fallen apart... i had dreams... i had things i wanted to do and stuff id planned out for which i already had less time #but now its only worse... i cant study properly the same way i usually could and now... my very life is falling apart in front of my eyes #all my hopes are shattering and im chained. i have no way of doing anything. and i feel like this frustration is turning me into my #aggressive phases again? there was a point where i got mad at everything and i can see it morphing back when i look at myself... and the #worst part is i can do nothing to control it... im starting to believe that everyone hates me and i silently wish i could do smth about this #feeling thats eating at me #this is what happened during my self harm days... my emotiind got stronger and stronger to a point where i snapped and those were #the darkest days of my life... and now i can see myself walking the same path again but i can do nothing to stop myself exceot hope things #will be better... everytime i close my eyes i get the visual of me jumping off my building... and theres the separate feeling of knowing #that the ppl i thought didnt care sat there worried and cried when i fainted... just becayse they care doesn't justify the shit they did #right? but i still feel kinda guilty. im so terrified that my life will fall apart. that i won't be able to be happy and ill face the same #fate my mom's facing rn..... #anyways thank u if ur reading so far #i hope u have a nice day #self harm tw #negative tw #dawn.personal #dawn.replies #🐧 anon #anons 🌁