#the apocalypse hasnt been averted yet so once more unto the breach or something

[strangersteddierthings]

No Regrets - Part Four

Part One🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six

"Steve! Steve get up!" Robin's voice jolts him awake before she even reaches his cot to shake him.

"Wha?" is all the noise Steve manages to make in his sleep haze. His body is already sat up and swinging his legs off the cot before he even opens his eyes to see Robin.

"We have to go. Now," Robin grabs his wrist and tugs until he stands. She reaches past him to grab his mask from where it must have fallen off the cot while he slept as well as his boots which he barely remembers even untying. He's still wearing his jacket, he realizes. He was really out of it last night it seems.

"What's happening?"

"There's a Storm moving in," Robin says, shoving his mask into his arms before grabbing his elbow to get him walking. He goes without struggle.

"Okay? Can I put my boots on at least?"

"Put the mask on. You can put on your boots in the truck."

He obeys, masking up as she drags him out of the high school and towards one of the box trucks they'd just unloaded yesterday. She manhandles him into the back, climbing in after him. Hopper appears to close the door with just a nod at Robin and him before it shuts and latches.

Robin's flashlight flicks on and she tosses his boots to him.

"What happened?" he asks as he pulls them on.

"Wayne radioed."

He freezes in the middle of lacing up the first boot, his whole body feeling suddenly cold. "What happened?"

"They missed the check in."

"Robin," he hisses as fear climbs his spine.

"That's all we know, Steve," Robin whispers and it's the worst response she could give. Not with what she said but with how she says it. Quietly, gently, like Steve's a spooked animal that might attack at any moment. "It might just be a blown tire, or they ran out of gas. We won't know until we find them, and we have to do that before the Storm gets here."

He doesn't respond, focusing on tying his boots instead. It could be fine. It really could. It wouldn't be the first time a check in was missed due to a blown tire. But all the other times didn't have Dustin onboard, didn't have Eddie and Lucas. Didn't have people he'd lost- but. No? Lost? He's never lost them; he doesn't understand why a horrible grieving feeling washes over him.

Eddie, Dustin and Lucas often go out together to fix up the old Cerebro or to build new ones, just a little bit further than last time. Trying to extend the range little by little. Steve knows Cerebro used to reach Suzie in Utah, but the Storms drop the range so much. Whatever is in the air from the Upside Down has fucked everything in ways no one really could plan for.

"They have to be okay, Robbie," Steve finally whispers. It still echoes around them in the empty of box. "I can't- I can't lose him."

"You won't," Robin says, fierce and so sure. It's not a promise she can actually make, they both know that, but it's Robin saying it, so he's going to believe it.

More silence, the truck bouncing them around not too gently for several minutes before Steve asks, "who is driving?"

"Hop. El's in the passenger seat."

El's not a magical fix-all, but having her along decreases Steve's stress significantly. "Well, fuck, why didn't you lead with that."

Robin clicks her flashlight off, dropping them into complete darkness. "What would be the fun of that?"

-

The truck comes to a sudden stop, judging by how Robin and he are thrown around by it. He hears Robin mutter a quiet 'fuck' before the loading door unlatched with a loud scrape and opens almost violently. No one is waiting them, so Steve must assume El's used her power to free them.

He doesn't like what that implies for what they've found.

Steve scrambles out of the truck and rounds it on the passenger side. El's door is left hanging open. It takes him a few more steps to register the wreckage of another box truck off the road and on its side. One of the doors from the back is torn off, laying several yards away, and random bits of machinery are strewn about. There's a large inward dent almost perfectly centered between the front and back.

"Where are they?" he hears Hopper ask, and that's when Steve realizes he stopped moving because Hopper sounds far away still. He's frozen, staring at the wreckage, the large dent in the side of the truck that tells the story of a hard impact. They didn't crash on accident; something forced them off the road. Judging by the lack of large object, he can only assume it was some Upside Down horror, new or old he doesn't know.

"Steve," Robin comes into his view, getting close enough to prevent him from seeing most of the wrecked truck. "Come on."

He follows her on instinct, because he'd follow her anywhere.

The Storm rumbles above them.

El turned on her heel and began marching in the opposite direction of the wrecked truck. "This way. There is a building. Dustin is there."

Steve doesn't even have a weapon. Robin dragged him directly from bed to the back of the truck and he's still wearing the same clothes he's had on for almost a month now because when you're trying to survive the apocalypse, a change of clothing never feels worth the space it'll take up in your bag.

El leads the way, more soldier than woman and it hurts Steve's heart a bit. Another regret in a long list of them- but less than there used to be?

Steve squeezes his eyes shut and gives his head a shake, trying to clear the thoughts. What is wrong with him? Dustin, Lucas, and Eddie might be in serious trouble and he's, what, imagining regrets he doesn't actually have? Trying to process the grief of something he's never lost?

When he opens his eyes, El is looking at him, head tilted slightly to the side. He cannot see much of her face beyond her eyes because of the mask. She squints at him, as if that will help her see him better before she turns, continues to lead them towards what Steve can see if a barn in the distance.

El pushes the barn door open with her mind, calling out, "Dustin! It is me!"

"Oh fucking- thank fuck," Dustin says before he comes into view. "Is that thing still out there?"

"We didn't see anything," Hopper answers.

"That's a relief to hear," Lucas' voice joins them from somewhere but he doesn't appear in view.

Not being able to see Lucas kicks Steve back into gear. "Where are you?"

Dustin extracts himself from the hug he was sharing with El (since when do they hug so intimately? He's only seen El like this with Mike- but no, wait, Mike and Will have been together for years now and-) "This way. His leg's broken."

"Fuck, just his leg?" Steve asks, following Dustin back in the direction he came from. There they find Lucas, sitting up against the wall. His leg's not visibly broken, it's not jutting out at an odd angle or anything, so that's good. Or, well, better than it could have been.

Dustin says, "Yeah. Oh! Oh, you must've seen the wreck coming up the road. We weren't in the truck when that thing barreled into it. Bathroom break, actually-"

"Wait. Where's Eddie?" Robin interrupts.

"What. He's not with you?" Dustin answers, and Steve feels like he's been doused in ice water suddenly. "He left to head back, get help. He said he'd stay on the road!"

"We didn't see anyone on the road," Hopper says. "El?"

"I am on it," El says, eyes closing.

Steve thinks his heart has stopped. Eddie has to be fine, he has to be. Steve went through so much to make sure he was okay; he changed the goddamn past to resurrect him and- pain shoots through Steve with such a force he audibly grunts in pain and sways sideways, using the barn wall to keep himself upright.

"Steve!" Robin whisper-shouts.

His mind feels foggy, and his vision is blurry when he tries to look towards Robin. He- he- what was he thinking? It's like his thoughts are just gone, ripped from him as if they were water poured over his hands. He could feel them but instead of cupping his hands to catch the water, it's like he can't do anything but make a fist.

What was he just thinking? Where did his thoughts go?

"-feel terrible. I should have made sure he was good to go before dragging him out the door," Robin is saying when Steve's head stops pounding.

He wants to assure her that he's fine, but if he's being honest, he's not sure that he is. He blinks a few times, his vision clearing, before he looks at the group. Hopper is splinting Lucas's break, Robin and Dustin are in conversation off to the side, and El is by the door, unmoving. He shoves off the wall and heads over to her.

She turns her head to look at him. "He is hiding in the wreckage. Go. We will be there once Lucas can be moved."

He doesn't like that she says it quietly, for his ears only. A found party member should be something shared with everyone, so why is she telling only him? "El-"

"Go. I- Just go, Steve. We will be right behind you," El commands, and Steve obeys.

He doesn't start off at a dead sprint, but he gets to one pretty quick. He's thinking of what scenario could have caused Eddie to return to the wrecked truck, rather than the barn or keep going back towards Hawkins but all he can imagine is whatever was big enough to toss the truck off the road trying to do the same to Eddie.

Why didn't they check the truck when they stopped? How had El not known Eddie was- oh, Steve realizes. She wasn't looking for the group. She was looking for Dustin. When had that- since when were they close?

Red lightning streaks across the sky, a dangerous rumble following.

Shit, focus Harrington, Steve thinks as he comes up on the site of the wreck. He blows past their own truck, scrambling down the embankment and the short distance to the truck. "Eddie! Eddie!"

He's not sure what kind of noise Eddie makes but it's enough of a sound for Steve to find him. He's leaning against the side (roof?) of the truck, head lolled forward and kind of curled in on himself. For a moment there Steve's afraid Eddie's dead, but then he hears a wheezing sort-of whine. It propels him forward to drop in front of Eddie.

"Eddie," Steve whispers, hands reaching out to tip Eddie's face up and it's only then that the reality of it all sinks in. He shouldn't have been able to hear Eddie's breathing with a mask, but he sees Eddie doesn't have a mask on. And it wouldn't be the end of the world -they've been in the upside down without masks before- but the Red Storm is lethal. "Eddie, Eddie, where's your mask?"

Eddie blinks open his eyes and squints at him. Steve takes a quick inventory of him. His arms are wrapped around himself, and Steve can see that there's a deep gash on his thigh. Demogorgon claw probably, ripping right through his jeans and into the meat of his leg. When he speaks, it comes out soft and pained. "Who-?"

"Hey, it's me. It's Steve. Where's your mask? I'll go grab it real quick."

"Broke. Lost. Should be 'nother in the truck," Eddie mumbles through his squished cheeks that Steve wasn't even fully aware of cupping. He blinks a few times before his eyes widen and he says, "Dustin, Lucas are they-"

"Fine. They're fine. Hopper, El, and Robin are with them. Just got to splint Lucas' leg and the-" Thunder rumbles dangerously, a deep thing Steve feels in his chest. "Fuck, where are you hurt?"

"Hurt? Hurt, hurt," Eddie repeats a few times like he's puzzling out the words. "My fuckin' leg. Think I twisted my ankle at some point. Stomach," he drops his hands then, so show Steve the three cuts across his torso, too. They aren't nearly as deep at the wound on his thigh, thankfully.

More rumbling. The Storm's here and Eddie's- Eddie's doesn't have- Steve looks around, ignoring for now Eddie's inquisitive noise. He stands quickly and rounds the truck. It's filled with radio bits and bobs but there'll be room for him and Eddie to be out of the toxic rain.

Steve works quickly, throwing everything out of the truck as quickly as possible, sweeping things to one side so he can drag Eddie as far into the back as possible to avoid the rain. He wants, more than anything, to get Eddie to the truck they arrived in, but he knows he won't be able to get Eddie up the embankment alone, not without the risk of falling back down the incline and hurting them both.

As it stands, he has to drag Eddie around the truck and into the box trailer. Eddie's injuries are survivable, but he can't put any pressure on the leg with the gash. He settles Eddie against the back wall laying down. He hadn't thought too much about positioning, so it ends up Eddie's got to lay facing away from the doors in order to not lay on his wounded leg. Steve's shed his jacket, balling it up so Eddie can use it as pillow, then his shirt goes next, used to create a barrier between Eddie's leg wound and the soon to be extra toxic air. It's not great, but it'll help.

"Got nothing for your stomach wounds," Steve laments.

"Let's just zip my jacket and hope that helps," Eddie says, so Steve does. Eddie doesn't even try to fight him off as he zips him in like a child.

Now that Eddie and he are, somewhat, safe from the storm, he starts rooting around for that other mask Eddie said was in the truck. At least, he's hoping he meant this part of the truck and not the cab.

Plink.

Shit, fuck, he throws things around with abandon now, and quickly finds the other mask. It's smashed and cracked, probably from the weight of the whatever was bouncing around back here when the truck left the road.

Fuck.

Plink. Plink plink plinkplinkplink.

The rain falls, and Steve rips his mask off, rushing to Eddie to get it on him. "Here, here, I found the other mask, just lift you head- yeah, okay. Okay. You'll be okay."

Eddie pulls in a deep breath once the mask is secured, and Steve realizes just how shallowly Eddie'd been breathing before. "Fuck. Deep breaths hurt, man."

"Keep doing it anyway," Steve orders, turning his back to Eddie to watch the doorway and to prevent Eddie from being able to see he gave up his mask. He knows Eddie'll try and make him take it back but- but Eddie's injured, and they've no way to patch his wounds, and he's already breathed who knows how much shit air already. Steve knows he's more likely to survive breathing the toxic air left in the wake of the almost black rain falling from the sky than Eddie would be.

"Hey Steve. If this- if I don't-"

"Shut the fuck up, Munson," Steve's words are harsh but his voice comes out choked. "You're gonna be fine." Steve twists just enough to feel around for Eddie's hand, holding it tightly when he finds it.

"But if I'm not-"

"You're going to. You're gonna be fine so- so once you're back to Hawkins, and given clean bills of health, you can say whatever it is then."

"Steve."

Steve draws in a shaky breath that burns his lungs; not from the held back tears but from the storm. He should have ripped a part of his shirt off to use as a filter. It wouldn't- the difference might not have mattered, but his lungs wouldn't burn as much. "You'll be fine. You'll be okay. That's- that's," he stops talking because it hurts.

"... Why won't you say we. Why isn't it we'll be fine."

Steve looks over to where he'd left the broken mask. He can't lie. Eddie knows him too well for that anymore, but saying the truth out loud will hurt them both, and Steve doesn't- if he's going to- No regrets. Steve doesn't want to die with regrets. "I should have asked you out years ago."

Eddie squeezes his hand so hard it hurts. "Steve."

"I couldn't- couldn't be that selfish, I kept telling myself. Said I'd-" Steve stops because the pain makes him want to cough, so he does for a bit before he can continue, "said I'd do it once we ended the apocalypse. But that was- I was just scared. Scared you'd say no. More scared you'd say yes. I'm sorry."

"Steve. Steve, take the mask," Eddie says, and Steve can feel him trying to roll over. Hears him hiss in pain, so Steve moves faster. Lays down next to him, snakes his arms around him to hold him in place as he shoves his nose into Eddie's hair, burrowing in until he feels his nose hit the back Eddie's neck. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath then, breaths in the scent of him.

"I would have made you dinner on our first date. Let you pick a movie-"

"You don't get to do this to me! You don't-"

"-even though I think you have terrible taste in movies-"

"Stop. Stop talking. Don't-"

"-Maybe even raided the arcade for some silly stuffed animal to give you-"

"I don't- I want that. I want that, so stop talking! Stop- b-breath as little as possible!"

"'m sorry. 'm being selfish," Steve says, even as it hurts. Because it might be his regrets he's confessing, but making Eddie listen to things Steve won't be able to give him is selfish. Steve's not the one who will have to live with the knowledge.

His lungs burn. All of his insides kind of feel itchy now. He nuzzles at Eddie and places a kiss where he can reach, even as Eddie sobs in his grasp.

One last chance, Steve. I am sorry.

-

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss

#steddie #my fic #time travel au #apocalypse au #butterfly effect au #another part after this I think #the apocalypse hasnt been averted yet so once more unto the breach or something