#the big concert was mcr. btw. and cause it was a stadium no one got to see the glowy stars anyway LMFAOOOOO

[moe-broey]

Jacket!!!! Ye olde varsity I got at the very beginning of my transition thinking "Oh fuck yes I am going to pass so hard in this" and. Well. It never worked I just have never passed a day in my life I don't think 😔 Eventually it just became a beloved test subject and has since gone through a bit of a transition itself LMFAOO

Some Notes:

> A lot of the decorations are taken from old backpacks I loved dearly that got absolutely fucking destroyed by the weight of all the shit I'd lug around in highschool LMFAO (sketchbook, diary, all kinds of notebooks...). Never had the heart to get rid of them. Specifically: The pink zippers, the holographic pockets, the glow in the dark stars, and the holo angel wings!

> The pink/blue checkers are from a small decorative quilt I thrifted years ago, I wouldn't be surprised if it was handmade (it's super soft material, btw! Important LMAO). I only took out one line of squares, I plan on stitching the rest of it back together (haven't done it yet though LMFAO). The reason for this was to upsize the jacket, so I can button it without it clinging. The pockets were added for funsies ESP cause it lined up very well and aren't really practical LMFAO (BUT YOU CAN PUT THINGS IN THEM! If you want!! 🎉🎉🎉)

> The patches (esp the name/pronouns one) were the first additions actually. Eventually more and more things were added, but I will say all the pins on the opposite side of the patches were haphazardly placed for a concert I VERY BADLY wanted to look good for LMFAOO (that's when the stars were added too! Fighting for my life on the car ride over speedrunning sewing and trying not to throw up about it AHAKHSKSHDK)

> Spike placement may be odd and I'd like to add more, but also I do frequently still carry around big heavy backpacks so I have to take that into consideration. Which is also why the wings have been bolted on. Those motherfuckers are NOT going anywhere LMFAO (has a really cool visual effect too!!)

> The material of the jacket itself (sort of a swishy windbreaker fabric) IS ABSOLUTE ASS TO WORK WITH. BY THE FUCKING WAY. IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING. I would NOT recommend it to anybody ESPECIALLY someone who is just starting to fuck around and find out. I literally am just sticking it out bc of the sentimental value this fucker has to me 😭😭😭

This jacket was my first plunge into customization and punk fashion, I didn't have a plan and still don't have one (and I think it kind of shows lmfao). I do worry that it's too soft and cutesy. Kind of the whole point for me, when it came to leaning heavy into punk, was to feel sharper, like I had some bite to me. I might be getting closer, but I think I'm still just kind of a silly guy LMAO. But, I do think in a way, esp as my first project, it represents me well -- where I started, what I loved before the beginning, what I tried desperately to be, what I still wish for, reuniting with the things I loved and embracing them in a brand new context. It's still an ongoing project too! So maybe as I keep growing, it'll grow alongside me, maybe finding that grit I've been striving for along the way.

#the big concert was mcr. btw. and cause it was a stadium no one got to see the glowy stars anyway LMFAOOOOO #for that concert i desperately wanted to have a big piece inspired by house of wolves on the back. #but i have never been able to get it right. #but like. it is actually my favorite mcr song. i REALLY wanted to do something transgender w it too. #like tell me i'm a bad man. i AM a bad man. bad man in the context of the song AND bad man as in. in the eyes of the observer. #i am just doing it poorly. on purpose. fuck with me about it!!!!! #also 'tell me i'm an angel' would compliment the wings as well #but as an artist i find i am way better at cartoons/characters than literally anything else. #ask me to do something cool w fonts/words beyond simply being legible and i'll throw up and cry. #also something i don't want to say outright but feel okay sharing in the tags is Why punk is so important to me #is cause i am just. so sensitive. i always have been. #but in a world that is actively becoming more hostile to exist in as a very visibly queer person #AND as a noticably autistic person too know like i think i have gotten to the point where people notice Something about me #(which. is good. bc autistic masking absolutely fucking ruined me so fucking bad.) #i need to get stronger. tougher. sharper. more dangerous. to exist as i am and to do so so boldy #i need to have the bite to back it up. i still feel like a prey animal but i have teeth i have claws. #going back to my church even for a moment has made me 10% eviler also. inspiring me to be the thing they fear. #so i think once i've rested i'm gonna go back to the drawing board for that transgender house of wolves backpiece. #diy punk #my projects