#the birthday girl in question is violently batshit insane & also purposefully excludes me from things all the time when she knows i’m in

[urbanfiltered]

god

#ummmmm i want to k*ll myself !!!! (not really) #this month has been so god fucking awful to me in terms of events and calendar things can i fucking Die #i have a birthday dinner tonight i do Not want to go to at all but am sort of being forced to go to by #my best friend #the birthday girl in question is violently batshit insane & also purposefully excludes me from things all the time when she knows i’m in #the same city and is also ableist as fuck so i truly just Do Not owe her ANYTHING #but sarah (my bestie) Really wants me to go and i tried to gently tell her that i want to cancel and she was like Ummmm No we agreed to do #this thing together and you Cannot back out now #and lowkey i think that’s fair bc if you book my calendar with something i Will try to honor it #and she’s been doing that for me!!! i’ve asked her to be my buddy to these concerts that i do not want to go to alone #and she so bravely and kindly has accompanied me to things that are decidedly Not her genre so i feel like i owe it to her #to do this damn birthday dinner with her #but conversely my other friend (maisha) is doing a thing tonight and she wanted me to come #and i actually would MUCH rather be at that event!!!!! the fuck!!!!! #i haven’t seen maisha in like a week bc of scheduling conflicts and she was like i really want to hang but i had to blow her off due to #these fustrating birthday plans for this girl i just do not fucking like #and this will be like my third time this month letting her down for an event #so now she is highhhh key pissed off at me for being unavailable AGAIN #but like sorry but literally what am i supposed to do #it’s been A Week for me and i think i’m allowed to be busy sometimes too #anyways idk what i’m saying it’s 9 am and i’ve had 2 hours of sleep #i see both sides bc sarah already booked me for this thing but maisha is tired of me being too busy for her AND I MISS HER #so it’s just truly the worst #maisha & i have become unofficial spouses in the past few months and if i don’t see her every 3-4 days something Does feel off kilter LMAO #anyways what’s really complicated is that maisha & i are going to a halloween party together tomorrow in a COUPLES COSTUME LOL #imagine how awkward the vibes will be if we are doing matching clothes and also fighting #:-)