#the fact that joo won scoffs at his dad's name but still quietly resents the idea of being like his mom

[katierosefun]

not to sound like a broken record, but every once in a while i just remember that beyond evil really said that a strained relationship between a parent and child does not necessarily have to be straightforward, in that han joo won clearly despises his father (you sent me away, you’re the reason my mom’s dead, you were never interested in who i was until it was relevant to your career) and yet joo won still has a room in his father’s house (even though you locked me out without a warning) and they still eat dinner (even though you shoo me away when i tried to approach you) and joo won even still gives his father a dozen chances to prove that he’s not an awful person (just tell me the truth, just tell me the truth, and i promise i’ll help you) and even in the finale, you see a bit of that anger and disappointment and pain in joo won’s face and hm something about beyond evil saying that the relationships between parents and child are complex in that no matter how many times a parent kicks at their child, there will always be a tiny, tiny part of the child that still wonders if there’s even a sliver of a chance of a functional relationship--

and you see a bit of that in jeong je and his relationship with his mom too, in that his mother almost obsessively looks after him. she hovers over him, keeping track of his medication and sending him away to hospitals (is it out of love or self-preservation or shame? or maybe it’s all of those things at the same time), and she decides that she’ll protect her son first and foremost, but then the second it’s convenient for her, she tells him that she’ll throw him away. (she doesn’t want to be called “mom” anymore. maybe it’s true that she was only a mom, but isn’t that what every kid wants from a parent. for their parent to be their parent first.) and yet, despite that monstrous moment, do hae won still has a whole breakdown when she realizes that jeong je might truly kill himself, and there’s something pathetic about that (if you truly cared about your child, you would have known the kind of hell you were putting them through) and yet a little tragic too (how come it had to take you that long to realize your child was in hell).

and you see some strains of that with dong sik and jae yi, in that both of them had such beautiful relationships with their parents, and yet there’s something in both their relationships that broke that down. for jae yi, she loves her mother but there’s a small part of her that resents her for suddenly going missing--as soon as you come back home, i’m going to walk out of this shop and never come back. and yet she loves her mother, even with all that resentment and hurt and confusion within her, even before she learns of the truth. (she’s the one who runs over to the morgue every time a new body’s found. she’s the one pestering morticians and prosecutors about where her mother might be. she does this every year, even though she’s angry, deep down she’s angry.)

and then with dong sik, who has so many fond memories of his parents--you see that grief and sadness on his face when he talks about how just overnight, his father was no longer his best friend. dong sik left so quickly after the accusations against him because how could he stay, when his own parents either can’t look at him in the eye or look right through him? and there’s some bitterness there too--and even more bitterness when dong sik visits his mom, scoffing at the idea of being a good son (because he’s not a good son, he’s the son who ran away from home the second he thought he no longer had a home, he cleans his mom’s hands a little too roughly because he doesn’t do that often anymore). of course, dong sik loves his parents, of course, dong sik loves his mom, because he still talks to her (even if she can’t understand him), but there’s that grief underlying it all too. his mom isn’t herself anymore, and dong sik might not get that back, and maybe he’s bitter more at himself than he is at his parents, but at least there’s something there for him to hold onto, at least at the end of it all. and maybe that’s kind of all that someone can do when they haven’t always had the easiest relationship with a parent--the good parts are good, but the bad parts are bad, and maybe that’s as much as anyone gets.

#caroline talks #beyond evil #long post #i'm. listening to family line by conan gray in case u could not tell #i just. HM #the fact that joo won scoffs at his dad's name but still quietly resents the idea of being like his mom #and i think he really wants to be a little more like his dad + he gives his dad so many chances #the fact that jeong je looks so tired whenever his mom comes to him but at the same time that's his mom. he still sounds like a little kid #when his mom says she's abandoning him #even though jeong je's a whole grown adult it's like. MAN!!! #when beyond evil said parent-child relationships are so messy!!