#the gender thing is something i added for the sake of neutrality lmao

[padfootastic]

Your point about how others would view Lily and Lily’s friendship made me think of something. We learn in DH (the chapter where Snape gives his memories to Harry), that two of Snape’s friends used Dark Magic on Mary MacDonald (McDonald? I don’t have the book in front of me and I can’t remember the exact spelling) and Snape just brushes it off as a joke, but this conversation happens in private, so nobody else would know that Lily has issues with Snape’s friends and their activities/morals. Lily later mentions a Mary when she comes back down after he plans to stay outside the Gryffindor common room, so it’s presumably the same Mary. It made me think, what would Lily’s other friends (she’s with a group of girls in SWM and she says none of her other friends can understand why she still talks to him) and her dorm mates think of her continued friendship with a guy who is also friends with two people who attacked their other dorm mate?

see this is something i wonder quite often!!!!

while im not often a fan of equating anything irl with anything in fiction bc it messes w my escapism, i do end up looking at irl examples to contextualise how things might work in the WW. and i keep thinking of someone who knowingly and uncompromisingly hangs out with someone who is basically seen as scum, in all way, while at the same time snubbing the popular kids of a particular group—and i’m gonna be honest, i don’t see it ending that well for them.

there’s a couple more dimensions to this as well. privilege and inequality is layered, right? lily’s a girl snubbing a guy, for once, and if i set aside my theory that Sexism Doesn’t Exist in the ww, it changes things a little too. james is popular, well liked, and an overall good guy by everyone’s measure. to see lily loudly and, often nastily, rejecting him might create this perception of a lofty, arrogant girl with aspirations ‘beyond her station’. not saying it’s right ofc but it happens often enough irl—‘she’s just jerking him around, who does she think she is?’—that it’s a possibility.

there’s, of course, the whole blood purity angle. lily is a muggle born and if i juxtapose irl behaviours to the ww, i think most wixen could be divided into two categories. the outright bigots who want to exterminate/remove/subjugate the muggleborns and the liberals who won’t really say it out loud but hold similar beliefs, either due to culture/tradition/history. they’ll never do anything to actively help the MBs but will always side w their brethren sort. the former would obv use any excuse to decry a loud, confident muggleborn like liky whereas the latter would be hemming and hawwing about how ‘don’t you think she’s a little Too Much? maybe she doesn’t know our traditions—why would she reject james potter? he comes from such a distinguished family, he has all the right qualities…really, i’m not against, them, ykno but if i were here, i would not do that—and shit like that. she definitely loses out on the social hierarchy aspect with respect to james.

and there’s the other thing, like u mentioned. what do the kids themselves think? here’s a muggleborn who’s apparently smart enough to gain certain professors notice and admiration, who comes to school breaking implicit social norms by hanging out with snape, goes on Not Caring about it, publicly rejects & insults the popular guy(s), all of this while presumably doing what is needed to justify/explain her friendships & actions AND navigating a new world as an outsider.

i think even one of those things might’ve led to some form of social exclusion/ostracisation but together? idk man. it really doesn’t seem likely that she had a smooth sailing lol

oh there’s also. the fact that all her disagreements with snape were in private (which makes sense considering they were, ykno, between the two of them) but if she was (possibly) defending him in public but disagreeing in private, then that creates more problems, no? because everyone can see that she’s ok with him but not the other side and that would just lead to more Not Fun things for lily imo.

there’s also the whole angle of ‘what next?’ what happens after she cuts things off with snape? because from everyone’s perspective, the only reason she does so is because he calls her mudblood. because she got personally hurt. not when other muggleborns were being targeted, not when snape was being a dick to people not her—how would her roommates, mary macdonald, feel?

so yeah, so many thoughts around this whole thing lol it’s just fun to imagine. there’s more i was thinking of about AU scenarios where james gives up on her and she’s basically all alone after the swm scene but i cut it off because it was getting unnecessarily long lmao

if u read it til the end, have a cookie bc idk how u managed 🍪🍪🍪

#sorry this ended up way too long for anyones interest 😭😭😭 #my apologies if u didn’t want a weird socio-political analysis of something we have barely any info on lol #the gender thing is something i added for the sake of neutrality lmao #i don’t actually believe it tbh #bc i v firmly disagree w the notion that the wizarding society is patriarchal #it’s not really rooted in anything canonical but i’ll still defend it to death lol #to be clear i’m not like. bashing lily here or anything at all for once #i’m just trying to explore a what if situation where wixen dynamics were similar to irl ones #and how she would be perceived by others #(keeping in mind these are teenagers who are notoriously thoughtless short sighted and cruel) #pen’s asks #i accidentally typed penne asks just now and lowkey considering keeping it lol

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Tim Drake x GN!Reader in: Maybe (Love, Once Lost)

Reader Requests || Immy’s 200 Follower Event 🎊 🎉 🎊

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | event tag | batboys tag | m.lists | main blog ||

↠ Prompt: “Shit, I didn’t mean to say that.”

It hurts, watching something you love so much die, especially when you feel like you have everything needed to save it–

Everything, but the want.

In reaching the end of things you and Tim find that the only way to move forwards is to go back to the start…

↠ Requested By: Anonymous ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: A SFW gut punch. Technically H/C, tho maybe not in the form you expect. It’s kinda like a Sour Patch Kid made up of angst and love lol. ((but my blog’s 18+ so if minors what to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of staying out of this space they can head over to my ao3)) ↠ CWs: Potential breakups (ending is kinda open so that you can choose your own fate lol). Also Tim-typical self-destructive tendencies, and tbh Reader’s not faring much better. This relationship has not been healthy/happy for a long while now and it shows. See the tags before the story for a more comprehensive list. ↠ Beta? Nah, we don’t know her. Are you sure she works here?? ((tho I should probably employ her services sooner or later for the sake of my readers lmao)) ↠ Total WC: 3.6k~

Sorry for the wait, nonnie. I had a hard time coming up with a solid storyline at first because while I really like to read H/C, when it comes to writing it I blank apparently?? Idk, maybe it’s just because I haven’t written for any of the Bats in a cool minute, but whatever.

Anyways!

Did I go in too hard with the ‘H’ part of H/C? Yeah, probably, but the prompt did say, and I quote, “the more hurt, the better. I want to CRY” lmao. I know that this may not be exactly what you were looking for, my dear requester, but I hope that you can enjoy it regardless…

↠ A itty-bitty playlist for added hurt a general vibe || x | x | x ||

Tags: Reader’s gender is ambiguous | Reader uses they/them pronouns | Good relationship gone toxic | Unreliable narrator (Reader’s hands aren’t completely clean in all of this, y’all) | ((this is what happens when two people with savior complexes try to protect one another instead of functioning as a team)) | ((Tim’s trying to protect Reader from the darker parts of himself/his lifestyle)) | ((and Reader’s trying to protect him from his own self-destructive tendencies)) | Tim doesn’t know how to process/cope | Reader’s been holding shit down by themselves for too long | Reader cries | Tim cries | OP cries | We all cry | Potential breakup | Open ended

There’s nothing particularly notable about the day your life falls apart at its already threadbare seams.

It’s a Tuesday, arguably the most mundane of all days. You’ve accepted your fate of contending with another week of drudgery and have mostly eased into it with that sullen concession that comes with age. The weather’s just as mild as a thing, being exactly what you would expect of a day that’s caught somewhere between the changing of the seasons. No one is overly rude to you—well, by Gotham standards, that is—and you’re able to go through the motions of your scheduled events without any problems.

Maybe the lack of conflict outside of your home should’ve been the first indicator that something was bound to go terribly wrong within it.

In contrast to the day, there’s so much to say about the man that owns your heart.

Timothy Jackson Drake isn’t exactly what you’d call a conventional human, let alone a traditional partner. Still, he is a brilliant, kind, loving and above all else dedicated man. Despite how much he has to do in a day, he always gives everyone and everything his all, seemingly uncaring about any potential detriments to himself. That this sees you piecing together what little you can when the weight of his responsibilities inevitably leaves him shattered and scattered in the wind is… not ideal for either of you.

It’s a self-appointed task that you’ve been seeing to since your teenage years, when he had decided that just watching from the sidelines while his hero self-destructed was no longer an option.

Tim’s always been too smart for his own good, and back at the start of things far too eager. Skipping town to track down a vigilante all in hopes of saving another vigilante from himself was the exact type of foolishness that you’d come to expect from him even then. What was worse is that aside from the obvious madness of it all, his plan was actually well thought out and annoying solid. In the end he had put his distinct combination of dazzling wit, animal instincts, and near-reckless obstinacy up against that of the Big Bat’s and actually won—saving both him and Nightwing from whatever bit of madness Two-Face had been given to at the time.

Once he was allowed to, he had thrown himself into the role of Robin full tilt, with things only intensifying after the incident that left him all but orphaned. To his credit he never allowed the anger to consume him like so many others would have, though you would argue that his chosen alternative is just as destructive. He pours all of himself into every case that he works, taking his victories in stride, but locking away his failures in the deepest reaches of his soul to rot and fester. The resulting poison is a thing that you’ve been steadily drawing out of his system in the time since, and if you’re completely honest you’re getting tired.

Tired of the late nights spent patching him up while he works on yet another case file. Tired of watching as he willingly allows this life to eat away at him, bit by bit. Tired of the way your concerns are always either met with dismissal or anger—his constant reminders of how you were all too aware of what the deal was well before you decided to shift your relationship over from friends to lovers grating against already flayed nerves.

In loving him you’ve had to shoulder a burden that you never asked for, and while there is little you won’t give to keep him by your side forever, what happens when there’s nothing left for the altar? You’ve been chipping away at yourself for over a decade now and it shows. Your façade has long since started to crack from sorrow’s repeated dashing against its walls, the veneer of your smile rubbed thin from years of stretching it well beyond your happiness.

Maybe this is why when he literally limps into your shared home nearly a full hour before the clock strikes midnight—body bruised and conscious battered—you cannot bring yourself to do more than stare blankly at his hunched form.

Under normal circumstances you’d be overjoyed to have him home so early, but these are not normal circumstance because there is no such thing, not when you love a Bat. Their masks have a way of twisting everything on its head, making fists of open hands, adversaries out of lovers, charlatans out of honest men. When you view so much of your world through a domino existence becomes a masquerade that doesn’t end even when the disguises are cast away at the bell’s toll.

As usual Tim doesn’t ask for help and you don’t offer, with both of you opting instead to fall into the routine that has been your go-to for far too long now. He keeps his lips pursed tightly as he undresses, the only voluntary outward showing of pain that he’ll allow himself, and though his civilian clothes aren’t nearly so complicated, they seem to be giving him far more trouble than his hero costume ever has. Of course you know that this is due to whatever injuries he’s hiding underneath it all, but the more cynical part of your brain wonders if it’s because he’s been spending more time in a cape than he has in a flannel and jeans these days.

Though your heart aches at the sight of him all banged up it’s an old and distant hurt, like the feeling of digging your thumb into a several day old bruise. You push away the pain in the same way that he pushes away your helping hands—neither of you want nor need the added strain that the burden of care would bring.

Your touch is impersonal once it’s finally allowed. You assess the rush job (clearly done by his own hands as none of the others would ever be so sloppy) before treating and rebind his wounds with a clinical precision. Your words are just as clipped as your movements, with you only deigning to speak when the situation demands it.

You don’t ask about how he came to be in such a sorry state, or whatever it is that he’s working on, or even just how his day outside of the suit and mask went because you know there’s no point. He never tells you anything anymore. Unsurprising as you’re barely sharing a space these days, let alone conversation.

It’s a far cry from the usual banter and jokes that the pair of you used to keep up—the words and laughter all traded in between kisses as you lay wrapped up in each other’s arms—but that was before things devolved into whatever… this is.

If Tim notices the change, and you’re sure that he does, he clearly doesn’t think that it’s worth speaking on. Instead he nods his thanks at your assistance before mumbling something about needing to look into a few things before bed—“But there’s no reason for you to wait up.”

“Yeah. Guess not.”

It’s a cold exchange that damn near leaves you shivering as you part ways yet again.

No matter how many layers you pile on or how deeply you burrow under the blankets the frost that has crusted itself over your heart continues to linger, chilling you from the inside out. Even without the feeling of his icy indifference settling itself into your bones, your body has never been up to the task of warming such a large bed all on its own, and yet it has been forced to try more often than not these past few months.

With the sheets tucked in snug around you, you curl into yourself as tightly as you can bear—head facing away from the space your partner will occupy shortly if he’s feeling kind towards himself. You know he hasn’t been sleeping well, not that he ever does, mind, but even by his standards things have been bad. You try to figure out when the last time you actually fell asleep with anything other than your thoughts to keep you company was only to give up once you realize it’s been over two weeks.

Maybe this is my breaking point, you think, throat tight and eyes stinging. Maybe there’s no coming back from this…

The waxing moon’s glow turns your tears into lines of pale silver where they stream silently over your face. You let them pool and flow as they may because wiping them away would take more energy than what you have to give. This is what loving Timothy Jackson Drake has reduced you to—a husk that cannot care for its self in even this small way because it has given its all to a man that’s too hollow himself to match those efforts.

Though your cheeks are still damp, your breathing has mostly evened out by the time Tim finally slides into bed. He’s silent aside from the occasional grunt that his restless shifting elects. The mattress is soft enough (as well it should be, given how much money he spent to have it custom made to fit his rather… particular needs), but his recent patrols have been especially unkind. The pale expanse of his skin is mottled with the odd laceration as well as nearly a dozen bruises in various stages of healing, with the newest (and largest) one vaguely resembling a boot’s grooved sole where it sits across the breadth of his chest. Clearly there’s a story there, but aside from assuring you that nothing was broken he hadn’t spoken on it further. Typical.

You’re not sure if he finds a position that agrees with him or if he writes off comfort as an illusion and gives up on it altogether, but either way after a few long moments he finally settles down. The quiet that follows is damn near suffocating in its oppression, but neither of you dare to breech it for fear of what will undoubtedly be said. For all that your relationship now lacks there’s something between the pair of you that wasn’t there before, and it has been steadily gaining its strength over these past few months from where it’s made its home just behind your teeth.

It’s the selfsame thing that won’t let you meet each other’s eyes across the dinner table anymore, the one that turns I love you’s into rote platitudes at best. It has taken away the warmth from smiles that were once shared so liberally, dulled the passion behind your touch, sapped light and life both from your eyes. It’s an ugly thing to behold, all bleeding edges and sharp angles meant to sever the last of the strings that bind you to one another–

And tonight, it seems, it will have its due.

Maybe this is why Tim slides over into your space to hold you close—because he can feel it too.

The rending, the end.

You know that you certainly can, and have been for much longer than you’re willing to admit to yourself even now. It hurts, watching something you love so much die, especially when you feel like you have everything needed to save it–

Everything, but the want.

And yet as you lay wrapped up in the arms of the man that you were once so sure would be your Ever After, you almost convince yourself that there might just be a reason to hope—but then you start to remember.

You remember how long it’s been since last you were together like this. You remember the echoing chasm that he helped to carve so deep into you that not even the full breadth of your combined anger and sorrow could fill it; the days spent barely tolerating the other’s presence and the lonely nights that left your lashes caked in salt; the words that, when actually acknowledged, felt as if they would’ve been better left unsaid.

The memories continue to stack up-up-up, one on top of the other, until the wall of your offense is so high that you cannot see a way over or around it. The only recourse that you have left is to turn your back on it all, retrace your steps, and hope that you’ll actually find some semblance of the person you once were waiting for you at the end of the path.

And so, with fingers laced tight and water in your voice, you resign yourself to fate’s draw as you utter the only words left to say–

“I… I think that it’s over, Tim.”

Though spoken at a whisper the sentence resounds through the room with all the force of a gunshot.

Tim’s grip on you tightens then, a shuddery breath pushing its way past his lips to tickle along your scalp. The feeling of warm, fat drops follows soon after, and though their source should be obvious it still takes you a long second to realize that he’s crying.

Even with all of the heartache he’s caused you, and the tears that you yourself are once again shedding, knowing that you’ve hurt him so badly breaks you. A pain that you’ve never experienced before lances through you, forcing you to speak before your mind can fully catch up to your mouth.

“Sh-shit, I… I didn’t m-mean to say that,” you stutter out between gulping sobs.

Gentle fingers massage your nape as he shushes you with a surprisingly steady voice. “Yes you did, and that’s okay.”

The absolute calm and conviction that laces the statement snaps your heart cleanly in two, and your mind’s quick to follow. On the one hand you want to snatch every word spoken tonight from the air and shove them back down your throats into the confines of your chests, but at the same time you feel something akin to relief for finally giving voice to a truth that you’ve both been denying for far too long now. You’re not sure which part of this dichotomy leaves you quaking in his arms, but Tim’s quick to soothe you either way, and you hate it.

This is all you’ve ever wanted from him—just him and his time, his touch, his care. You never wanted to monopolize any of it, but dammit, you should’ve had a right to it all the same. And you did, once upon a time before life turned your gazes to jade. He’s been so distant for so long, but now he decides to lower his walls and let you back in? Here, at the end of things? It feels like an especially cruel joke.

You want to make demands of him, to insist that he explain himself, to ask how he could stand idly by and watch as your love worked its way through its death throes, but your attempts to speak yield little more than ragged, hiccuping groans that originate somewhere deep in your gut. You give up on trying nearly as soon as you start and instead allow yourself to mourn the death of a future that will never be while Tim continues to hold you tight.

The harder you cry, the more fully he wraps himself around you. A leg slots itself between your own while the other goes over your hip to pull you in closer to him; all the while one arm slides just beneath your shoulder blades to further secure your middle against his while its opposite’s hand cradles your head against his chest. From here you can just make out his heartbeat over you combined shuddering breaths and you find yourself latching on to the sound. Even amidst all of the turmoil and strife its beat is as steady as ever—a touchpoint, a buoy for your fatigued mind to tether itself to before the tempest of your emotions drag you under completely.

Eventually you’re lulled into a state adjacent to calm, though your body tenses up almost immediately when Tim starts to speak. He can feel it, of course, but aside from a brief spot of hesitation he forages on regardless.

“____, baby, I… I wish there was something I could say or do to make things right, but I know that’s not how this works.” He swallows thickly then, the hand that had been around your back coming up to tilt your face to level. The room’s limited light turns his irises’ hue into something ghastly—like diamonds stained a rare and icy blue—and though it makes it just that much harder to meet his gaze he doesn’t allow you to look away. As he regards you, you get the distinct feeling that he’s trying to commit this moment, and you, to memory.

Just as you start to wilt under the intensity of his stare liberation is granted in the form of an extended blink. The fingers that have yet to release your chin slide upwards to cradle your cheek, their calluses dragging against the skin there in a familiar rasp that leaves you on the brink of tears once more. Tim’s eyes glass up as well in an effect that highlights the silver striations that flair out from his pupils like a starburst; he’s quick to blink against the tears, willing them away with a deep, steeling breath before continuing on.

“I hope that you know that even with us staring down the end of, well, us, that I still love you. I’ll always love you—so, so much—and if there’s a chance that we can make it through to the other side of all this then I’ll damn well fight for it, but… I’m willing to let it all go”—he huffs out a sound that’s caught somewhere between a sob and a sigh—“to let you go, if that’s what you want.”

You breathe out his name then, though what is to follow you cannot say. Your brain is swirling with dozens upon dozens of retorts, but before you can even begin to decide on one he cuts you off with a sharp shake of his head.

“No, I… I need to say this, ____. I’ve been too quiet for too long, and that’s half—no, nearly the whole of the problem. Please, just… I know I’ve already been plenty selfish, but just let me say this, please.”

Your acquiescence comes in the form of a nod that leaves Tim mumbling out his thanks from where he presses his lips against your forehead.

“I know that I haven’t really been showing it lately,” he starts once he reluctantly pulls away, “but I hate seeing you hurt and I certainly don’t like being the reason for it. I don’t even– I can’t even tell you why I’ve been acting this way. It just feels like everything’s been piling on top of me lately, and I didn’t know how to get out from under it so I just kinda shutdown, hard. And I didn’t want to burden you with it because you already do so much for me, and I just kept thinking what type of partner– hell, what type of man would I be if I forced even more of my shit onto you?”

The sound that rumbles up out of his chest at that is far too bitter a thing to be considered a true laugh. “But in trying to keep you from becoming, fuckin’, I don’t know—collateral damage, I guess?—I fucked things up even worse than if I would’ve just let you in.

“God. The only real surprise here is that you’ve put up with this for as long as you have. That just goes to show how much you love me—not that I didn’t already know, but… Fuck, babe. I wish I could say that I don’t know how we got here, but that’d be a goddamn lie. But the thing that I honestly have no idea about is how the hell we get back, or if we even should.” 

“…Tim, I–”

He cuts you off with another kiss, this one to your still parted lips. There’s no expectations behind the ministration, but the tenderness there wraps itself around your heart and squeezes all the same.

Eyes pinched shut, he braces his forehead against yours as he caresses your cheek again. “No-no, shhh. I know I said I’ll follow your lead on this, and I will, but… No matter what it is that you choose, can you just– Give me tonight, baby, please.”

What had felt like a looming inevitability at the start of things is less certain now that some of the biggest of your issues have been stretched out and deconstructed. Still, your footing is just as unsure as ever. Nothing makes sense anymore and you’re too tired—mentally, emotionally, and physically—to try and unpack it all. What’s worse is that Tim doesn’t make things easier on you, if inadvertently so.

The adoration that tints his gaze is at once familiar and not. It’s been far too long since he last looked at you like this, since he’s actually seen you in any real capacity. The sight nudges at the embers of love that have long since ashed over within you, the desperation that pulses out of him in time with his heart’s beating stoking the glowing coals into something tempting enough to draw you in. And like a moth that cannot resist the light despite having already felt its burn, you willingly abandon sense and surrender yourself to the corona.

And as you lay there, holding and being held by the only man your heart has ever known, you can’t help but to wonder if maybe this is just as much of a beginning as it is an ending.

|| BTS, Author’s Note Type Deal

Tim’s p. disillusioned in this one, to the point of having gone almost completely emotionally numb.

Given his penchant for compartmentalization it’s not a stretch to think that he’d shut his s/o down and out in such a manner, imo. It’s partly for what he thinks is there sake (it’s that savior complex I mentioned before—the whole damn family has it), and partly because he’s personally having problems with coping. What’s more, he won’t even actively realize that he’s doing it at first.

If his s/o’s aware of his vigilante work it’ll be even worse as he feels like they should already know the deal and be ready to cope accordingly. He’ll also feel some type of way because ‘umm, I’m trying to protect you here and it feels like you’re not acknowledging the sacrifices I’m making for your sake.’ Ofc that’s not the case, they just want to help bear the burden as a partner would/should, but he’s so tangled up inside at that point that everything looks and feels like an attack.

None of it is right or fair or logical, but it’s not exactly like he’s in a good headspace at this point so he cannot be expected to act as such.

Still, he does love them so once it become apparent to him that things have gone downhill he’ll try to fix them—the only problem with that being the fact that he won’t become fully aware of the gravity of the situation until things are right at or past the point of no return.

But this is looking at things from Tim’s side. At the other end is (in this particular case) an s/o that was taking on things that they really shouldn’t have—at least not in the way that they were. They were propping both Tim and their relationship up to an unhealthy degree; this was due in part to their own savior complex, and partly out of being blinded by love. You’ll be surprised what love can potentially make you write off and wave away despite your knowing that it won’t end well; it doesn’t help that once you make one concession that it gets so much easier to do it again and again.

Had they both sat down and talked things out sooner they wouldn’t have crashed into their breaking point. It would not have been an easy conversation to have given how stubborn Tim can be about these things, but one that would have had to happen nonetheless if the relationship was to have any true longevity, yanno?

But I’ve rambled on enough, let me stop lol…

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2021 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

#((Immy's 200 Follower Event)) #((Immy does fan fiction: the Batboys)) #lol that hurted #tim drake x reader #tim drake x gn!reader #tim drake x gender neutral reader #Tim Drake x Y/n #tim drake x you #tim drake imagine

[daemominus]

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━━ FULL NAME:  Vergil Bellamy ━━ GENDER & SEXUALITY:  male, (heteroromantic) demisexual ━━ ETHNICITY & SPECIES:  seemingly North American; nephilim ━━ BIRTHPLACE & BIRTHDATE:  Limbo City (state N/A), United States; November 26th (year N/A)

━ GUILTY PLEASURES:  I don’t think anything he likes doing makes him feel guilty. Excessive consumption of sweets, maybe? Like if he’s caught downing a whole pint of Häagen-Dazs-- wait maybe that’s more embarrassing than anything.

━ PHOBIAS:  Fears he has, but phobias? Perhaps mysophobia, but I debate this with myself.

━ WHAT THEY WOULD BE FAMOUS / INFAMOUS FOR:  Forming, heading, and actively taking part in The Order, a known “terrorist” group; being the “masked freak on the ‘net.” Aiding in the demise of a former demon king. Aspiring to rule over humanity, unlike Mundus, though still poised to take his place (though that depends on if word of any of this spreads around).

━ WHAT HAVE THEY / WOULD THEY HAVE GOTTEN ARRESTED FOR:  He has eluded the law thus far, and he’s done so by breaking it. Hacking into state and government databases, manipulating his public and private records, forging "legal” documents, identity theft or manipulation to a degree, falsification of credit or financial records---to name a few. I would also lightly suggest murder, but as I’m aware it was done out of self-defense, and then there’s also indirect mass murder, but that one’s totally unintentional. Haha.................

━ A CHARACTER YOU SHIP THEM WITH:  No canon ones. Only an OC, Bianca, which I’m sure has already become well-known as his lifelong ladylove.

━ CHARACTER MOST LIKELY TO MURDER THEM:  Mundus, if the opportunity were ever there. Though I mean Dante almost did and Vergil pretty much died by Dante’s hand even if it wasn’t instant I mean--

━ FAVORITE BOOK GENRE:  Anything covering the occult/paranormal, though he will prefer nonfiction in regard to these subjects. Handbooks and codices, journals and studies are among those he reads primarily. He’s also keen on reading ancient poetry/prose, or teaching himself to read this. Historical accounts and biographies are quite fun, more than anything, to read. But in any case, he’s always willing to learn something from the material. If it’s educational, he won’t mind reading it: the more knowledge he accumulates, the better.

━ LEAST FAVORITE BOOK CLICHE:  Forced/pointless romance I guess? I don’t think he really cares.

━ TALENTS AND / OR POWERS:  Electronic hacking/infiltration, data manipulation, computer programming, being multilingual, analytical thinking, superhuman senses (and having a sixth sense), swordsmanship and close quarters combat, firearms training. Powers include psychokinesis, memory erasure; his angelic gifts allow him to glide a limited distance, while his demonic gifts allow him to transition instantly from one place to another, though also a limited distance, and to enter a state of enhanced power, Devil Trigger, from which he can generate a doppelganger. He can also conjure projectiles in the shape of swords.

━ WHY SOMEONE MIGHT LOVE THEM:  I think his loyalty and reliability might be the first thing someone would find anchoring. Out of all the things he is, or does, the most comforting part of getting to know him would be finding out that he will defend you, or do something for you which he may have promised previously. He’s true to his word, he won’t fail you. Even if he doesn’t know you all that well, he will hardly find himself betraying or deceiving. He does have a sense of justice to follow, and his own morality will push him to doing right by you---if you deserve it. That alone, I believe, would be more than enough to put him in someone’s favor. Superficial traits aside, he’s fairly lovable depending on you.

━ WHY SOMEONE MIGHT HATE THEM:  AND THE FLIP SIDE IS that he’s just as easy to hate. It might be easier for an outsider to take note of the traits that make him unappealing, even repellent. Perhaps his critical, keen eye might become annoying very fast. His tendency toward suspicion might tire you. I believe it’s his arrogance and his pride that may very well discourage people the most. He will always place himself above humanity, boast of his blood and his prowess. He’s going to distance himself from human nature, even deny that he is much like a human for the sake of perching atop his pedestal. His ego is swelled, thus rather sensitive. You may think he’s pretentious, self-entitled, and self-serving, and you’d be right for the most part. No one really likes a prima donna.

━ HOW THEY CHANGE:  He doesn’t in any way that would lend him grace. The period encompassing his downfall and his own ascension is a short one, but it impacts him in deep ways. Maybe when he was once naive, tolerant, and good-humored, he would have become more cynical, prone to impatience and frustration, and less likely to extend amiability. If he was cautious before, then he’s as good as paranoid now. He is less willing to trust in others, less willing to form bonds. In fact, it’s a heavy challenge to clear these hurdles if you’re the one trying to get close to him. In the past, he may have held a neutral position toward angels; leaving Hell, however, has damaged his view of them almost irreversibly. He hates them now, can’t stand them. And I’m just listing off a handful of changes he’s gone through, from post-game to post-Vergil’s Downfall. I haven’t even touched upon the physical and mental impacts the trial has had over him. From growing more powerful, he’s lost mental stability. In fact, he is continually losing his mind to the corruption he harbors. This, as well as entering Devil Trigger, also takes a toll on his physical health---mainly that of his heart. It’s all a slow progression, however, probably meant to prolong the inevitable so that he may feel it and struggle through. In short: he becomes darker, more demonic, more twisted in his points of view. BUT you can’t really tell at first glance. It takes some digging to realize what’s happened to him.

━ WHY YOU LOVE THEM:  He’s cute and a baby. The fruit of my loins. I really do see him as a good boy even though he’d fucked up along the way. His intentions were good, albeit not entirely selfless, but it’s his sentiment behind his actions that led everything to happen in the first place. Aside from some plot holes and iffy writing and vague shit that hasn’t been fleshed out, I feel like his reactions to everything, though exaggerated or just plain questionable, are realistic and justifiable based on who he is, how he thinks, how he deals with his emotions, etc. He’s not supposed to be a “normal” person (because he ain’t human to begin with lmao), he’s grown up differently, he’s fueled by different instincts, and on top of that he’s got a few personality issues, an inferiority complex to some degree, and all of these things are meant to make him the way he is. And because of this, I feel strongly that he is believable. He has things wrong with him, he’s totally wrong in some ways, fucked up in others, and I love that. It helps reinforce his characterization; like he can build justification upon justification with personality traits alone. There’s always a reason that a part of him is, whether or not it’s flawed. He might be blind to some flaws and accepting of others, and all of this helps build his layers. I find that he’s very complex, has many facets to his being. I’ve always been impressed by that. I, myself, have a hard time on occasion to explain one thing or another about him because there’s so much there to explore and understand, and every point has an added side to it. I’m not blind to the wrongs, but I’ll admit I’m so biased and defensive of him that I’m always going to deny the idea that he’s a villain, your classic antagonist. He shouldn’t have been treated that way, reduced to a foil, which I honestly think is pretty unfair considering how the twins handled one another’s differences? In the first place Vergil is just too careful to say outright that he’s gonna rule humanity?? Like I’m sorry but it’s totally unfair in my eyes that he was set up to be the bad guy and IT HURTS MAN, IT HURTS. And yeah I’m gonna blame Dante for choosing to put up his dukes rather than talk it out with his brother who, by the way, hadn’t suggested in the slightest that they fight out their differences. I mean your own flesh and blood who you’ve just started to rebuild a kinship with? Who really wanted you in his life because damn it he loved his brother and he didn’t want to lose you again?? And you want to fight him so fast??? Sorry that’s wrong, you didn’t even give my boy a chance to save face smh. Bitch all I’m saying is he ain’t a villain at heart because he’s got no evil intent during the main game; post-Downfall he’s pretty fucked up because of that dark shit he embraced and now he feels betrayed beyond belief and I have more to say I will fight everyone--

TAGGING:  whoever’s inspired to fill this out tbh

#long post #[ .ᴏᴏᴄ ] #[ .ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴɴᴇʟ ғɪʟᴇ ] #// I mean I could honestly go on and on. #// but this post has gotten long enough haha. #// let me defend my son okay?? I believe in him r.i.p. my human ass.

[swingswong-youarewrong]

Part 2

FJKDFKS I ALMOST FORGOT I HAD TO WRITE THIS LMAO-

this is such a disappointing chapter im so sorry

ALSo I'm making this gender neutral

and for the sake of comedy you're gonna be short

Majority vote says A: Sure! Let's go

~~~~~

Y/N: Sure! I need new friends too lol

Jay: great!

Jay: oh, my friend just asked if she could come too :v

Y/N: that's fine, the more the merrier lol

Jay: I think you'll like her, she's pretty hyper

Jay: how tall are you?

Y/N: cha cha real smooth transition there bud

Jay: what

Y/N: 5'3...

Jay: see you're even basically the same height, you guys will get along great

Y/N: thanks

Y/N: where are we going?

---

"Ooh, does someone have a date??" You hear Vivian's voice from right behind you.

You spin around and almost smack her in the face. "I swear to god, I'm gonna murder you someday!"

She just laughs. "Am I wrong?"

"Yes!!"

"Oh? 'Cause normally when a guy asks you to go someplace with him, that's a date."

"He's bringing a friend too."

"And?? Your point?"

"Oh my fucking god-" You are this close to slapping her

She takes a look at your conversation. "Where are you guys even going? Ooh, you should go to Momotaro! They have the best boba! And lots of sweet cakes and stuff!"

"I- okay, that's actually not a bad idea," you mumble.

---

Jay: I don't know actually

Y/N: my friend just suggested Momotaro?

Jay: where's that?

Y/N: I don't actually know, but I'm sure we can find it

Y/N: probably

Y/N: if Google maps won't be a dick

Jay: Ann says she knows where it is

Y/N: Ann?

Jay: the friend

Y/N: ah

Y/N: 3:00 tomorrow?

Jay: 3:00 tomorrow

Y/N: oki see you then

---

You put down your phone face-down. "I just made plans with an almost complete stranger."

Vivian's already walking back to the couch to finish the movie. "Good for you."

"Can you at least be a little proud of me? You were really hyped about this like five seconds ago."

"I'm very proud internally." She then proceeds to ignore you and cuddle with Josie.

You mumble something incoherent under your breath then go to the kitchen in search of food. You find a bag of shredded cheese. "Good enough." You start eating the cheese straight out of the bag.

-time skip to tomorrow because let's face it, you ate the entire bag of cheese then went straight to sleep-

It's currently noon. Yet for some reason, you woke up at 6:00 with an unusual amount of energy. You couldn't go back to sleep so you went around the dorm doing stuff - mostly cleaning because it really needed it - careful to not wake up Vivian. When she did wake up (around 10), you took a shower. A rare morning shower.

So here you are. It's noon. That means food time.

"Y/N, is something wrong?" Vivian asks from the couch. She seems really tired despite having slept in.

"I'm honestly not quite sure myself." You're actually putting effort into lunch for once. Which basically just means you're adding stuff to your usual ramen.

"What do you mean??"

"I mean, I woke up at 6am and I have no idea why." You continue watching the eggs in the boiling water. Hard-boiled eggs with ramen. (it's really good)

"Come on, there's gotta be a reason."

"Pretty sure there isn't."

"Well I'm pretty sure there is. Ooooh, maybe it's your daaaaaate??" she says is a teasing tone.

"For the last fucking time Viv, it's not a date. Just three people going to some place that has food."

"OT3."

"No. Stop that."

"Never."

You get one bowl from the cabinet. "You don't get any ramen then."

"That's bullying."

"What, gonna cry?"

"Yeah."

You both laughed. You knew it was all in good fun.

You both had your lunch then you went to start getting ready for your little rendez-vous.

-timeskip brought to you by "god I hope this isn't too long of a chapter, what the hell is the choice gonna be"-

After getting mad at Google Maps several times, you're able to make it to Momotaro. When you walk in, you immediately see Jay sitting at a table with who you assume is Ann. She has short pink hair in pigtails - she fit right in to the decor.

"Oh, hey Y/N!" Jay calls out.

"Wh- oh hi!" You make your way over to their table. "Is this Ann?" you ask.

The girl speaks. "Yep, I'm Ann! Nice to meet you!" She gives you a warm smile.

You smile back. "Hi Ann!" You sit down.

You all talk pretty easily for a while before the waitress comes to get your order. You all order different things - only drinks though - before going back to your conversation. (I'M SO LAZY LMAO)

When your drinks arrive, you stay there for a while before deciding you want to walk around downtown instead. Jay leaves a 20 on the table and you all leave.

You all walk and talk for a really long time before Ann suddenly says, "guys it's literally 7pm. We've been out for four hours."

You all stop walking because holy shit, she's right.

"Shit you're right, Ann. I gotta go back to my dorm before my roommate gets suspicious," you say.

"Oh hey Y/N," Jay says, "can I add you to our group chat?"

"Sure!" you say, already starting to walk away. "Talk to you guys later!"

"Bye!"

You walk in the direction of your dorm in the slowly darkening night. It's getting colder, too. Fucking winter.

Just as you start to round a corner, someone grabs you around the waist from behind.

~~~~~

What do you do?

A) Scream.

B) Try to get away - kick, fight, run, just get the hell out of their grasp.

C) Stay quiet. Just do what they ask.

Vote here! Voting will close Friday, Dec. 13

~~~~~

THIS IS VERY LATE LMAO

THIS IS SO CLICHE HOLY ShiT-